What would you do.....

[gregchang35]

You are expecting someone in 5 mins. The Appointment was made a week ago, and it has to be today in 5 mins. You are alone at home. Last nights curry/chillie is begging to visit the porcelain gods....and u know that IT will take some time....

Do u go "quickly" in the hope that your guest does not arrive early and spray the entire air fresherer when you are done??? And, hopefully your guest is still politely waiting for you at the door????

Or wait, if u can, and explain to your new guest that u have to go but the kettle is already boiled and make your own cup of coffee/ tea?

ETA= someone coming is for business

 

[kenny]

Remove and discard the wire cage first.

 

[mrs jam]

I would release the Cracken immediately and flush every 30-60 seconds, depending on how well the water pressure cooperates.

 

[Missy]

Reason for visit? Friend or business? If it's the former then don't hold it in but if it's the latter see above pic that Kenny posted.

 

[gregchang35]

The business appt is late!!!!

ARRRGHHH!!!!!

I have 2 cans of air fresherner!!!

 

[Missy]

Ugh! Did you get a text from them that they are running late? I hope they email/text you saying they are going to be 20 min late so you can get some relief Greg!!

 

[gregchang35]

you wouldnt believe it- the minute i got to the toilet..... the door bell rang!!!


POOP!!

 

[gregchang35]

Ugh! Did you get a text from them that they are running late? I hope they email/text you saying they are going to be 20 min late so you can get some relief Greg!!

no email or text.... double poop!

 

[madelise]

Murphy's Law, the way of my life. I carry around Imodium like it's a pack of gum.

 

[Polished]

Why does this happen it is truly bizarre. I remember an occasion when I was picking my children up from school when they were in primary school. I thought I would have just enough time to do a quick wee, before the school bell rang, so I dashed into the closest boy's toilet. 20 seconds in the school bell rang. Not more than 10 seconds later a whole flood of boys poured into the boy's toilet and then horror, one little pedant peered over the top of the door (low, small doors) and said: "you're not allowed in here".

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Oh Greg!!! Hahaha that was the best laugh I've had in a long time! I loooove talking about number #2.

That's what's going on here right? Dropping the kids off at the pool? Pinching a log?

When are you coming to Portland again? We need to hang!

 

[Matata]

Greg, you have the sphincter control of a god. I bowel to your ability.

 

[charleston1]

I have to say I love that you post this sh+t on a diamond forum Too bad we don't sh+t diamonds

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

I have to say I love that you post this sh+t on a diamond forum Too bad we don't sh+t diamonds

Oh my... That would hurrrrrt...

 

[woofmama]

Greg, you have the sphincter control of a god. I bowel to your ability.

 

[gregchang35]

Oh Greg!!! Hahaha that was the best laugh I've had in a long time! I loooove talking about number #2.

That's what's going on here right? Dropping the kids off at the pool? Pinching a log?

When are you coming to Portland again? We need to hang!

Hey YT,

Yes - #2.
In Salem OR- July 28-aug16.
Can make a day trip to portland, for sure. Is there going to be a GTG????

To continue with the story- I invited guest in. Apologized for being absent for a few, as I had been waiting a while... I sprayed like 1/2 can of air freshener. She had to view different things in the house and also outside (for renting). I couldn't hold on much longer. So, ThAnx for the compliments about my beautiful bowel, but it ain't that special. DH usually says something must have died in there!!! Sorry for te toilet humour.

i have had compliments about lots of things but the compliment about the sphincter control is the first!!!! ThAnx!!! I will drink to that compliment!!!

 

[kenny]

Hope everything came out all right after your prairie-dogging event.

 

[gregchang35]

Free flowing, it was!

 

[monarch64]

I would do what I had to do, when I had to do it, regardless of circumstance! It's so unhealthy to hold it in. I can talk about poop all day long...

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Oh Greg!!! Hahaha that was the best laugh I've had in a long time! I loooove talking about number #2.

That's what's going on here right? Dropping the kids off at the pool? Pinching a log?

When are you coming to Portland again? We need to hang!

Hey YT,

Yes - #2.
In Salem OR- July 28-aug16.
Can make a day trip to portland, for sure. Is there going to be a GTG????

To continue with the story- I invited guest in. Apologized for being absent for a few, as I had been waiting a while... I sprayed like 1/2 can of air freshener. She had to view different things in the house and also outside (for renting). I couldn't hold on much longer. So, ThAnx for the compliments about my beautiful bowel, but it ain't that special. DH usually says something must have died in there!!! Sorry for te toilet humour.

i have had compliments about lots of things but the compliment about the sphincter control is the first!!!! ThAnx!!! I will drink to that compliment!!!

Depends on if we make one! I leave for Hawaii on August 16th tho.

I'm glad you got to go! I think it would have been worse if you didn't and you were being all squirmy and clenching your butt cheeks!

 

[ame]

I would release the Cracken immediately and flush every 30-60 seconds, depending on how well the water pressure cooperates.

I seriously just died laughing. This might be my new favorite thread of ever.

 

[tammy77]

Thank you SO much for the much needed giggle! To answer, I would have to drop it and run. No control here!

 

[hippi_pixi]

great thread very unexpected. love polished's story