Home What would you do re: co-worker''s daughter

[disneybride]

Erica I would contact the father and just read to him the posts you wrote to us. It''s exactly what he needs to know. You''re a first-hand witness to the mother saying that she dumps out her child''s medications. She also expressed a history of mental illness. At this point she is NOT fit to make decisions for her daughter and I can tell you that SOMETHING is severely stressing out this child. She NEEDS inpatient therapy just so she can get stabilized and feel safe. Please contact him as soon as possible.

 

[Vix]

Man, Erika, what a mess. Poor little girl (and poor brother, too). Agree that this is very, very serious. I have special ed teachers in my family and the girl''s behavior falls into the severely emotionally disturbed category, not the ADHD or even mainstream-enough-for-school autism ones.

I''d be tempted to start with the school as they are mandated CPS reporters. And then you are a bit more anonymous/not in the middle of the two parents. Assuming the dad is a good dad -- which from the sounds of his attempts to get his daughter help he is -- he''s a candidate for sole custody with visitation to the mother. In most if not all states, he''d then have sole power of decision-making with regard to health issues.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 10/24/2008 5:47:43 PM
Author: Upgradable
This may be a severe case of autism. Is the child verbal? How does she interact with others?

2nd. I would agree that that little girl has "mental" problems that not require CPS, but a councelor. Possibly the child could begin by speaking to the school one? I would call the school and talk to someone there and see if they can evaluate.

I don't even understand how a child could physically PULL a tooth out that isn't loose. What does the girl use. . .plyers? Her teeth must be loose. (MY boys are 8 and 6 and are both loosing teeth and both wiggle them for hours, yet neither have pulled them out before they're ready to come out. . .). A kid who IS able to figure out a way to do so needs psychological help NOT cps.

Oh, and oddly enough, I was talking to a mom who's son had ENORMOUS emotional issues and as it turned out, he had extensive food allergies and once they determined which foods offended him, he became a calm well-balanced kid. Sometimes unusual factors can be the cause.

 

[Elmorton]

This story breaks my heart. If it were me, I think I would report it to a child welfare agency, and I would not talk to the dad. I agree with other posters that these behaviors are extreme and seem to me responses that a child would have to trauma and abuse. How can you be certain that dad isn''t a cause as well? Also, I wouldn''t align myself with a co-worker''s ex no matter what the situation, especially one as serious as this. To do the right thing as well as avoid problems for yourself, I''d call in anonymously, and continue to follow up until you hear that someone has checked in on the family.

 

[diamondfan]

In a case like this, the child is what counts most. She is exhibiting behaviors that are far beyond ADD or ADHD. She needs someone to be her advocate. Better to be safe than sorry, with what you know already about her situation.

 

[EricaR]

Well, the decision on what to do was (sort of) taken out of my hands. Today I had to get fingerprinted at the local police department (it is a requirement for my volunteer work with the city). The gal who did the fingerprinting is a police officer in training. I asked her what she would do in that situation and she told me point blank to tell CPS. Then she got me up, marched me down the hall to their office, and helped me fill out a "tip" card. They won''t revel who I am and actually didn''t even get that info from me (not like the police down the hall don''t have my fingerprints...!)

I''m relieved to have gotten it off my chest. Now I just hope they follow through.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 10/28/2008 6:23:23 PM
Author: EricaR
Well, the decision on what to do was (sort of) taken out of my hands. Today I had to get fingerprinted at the local police department (it is a requirement for my volunteer work with the city). The gal who did the fingerprinting is a police officer in training. I asked her what she would do in that situation and she told me point blank to tell CPS. Then she got me up, marched me down the hall to their office, and helped me fill out a ''tip'' card. They won''t revel who I am and actually didn''t even get that info from me (not like the police down the hall don''t have my fingerprints...!)


I''m relieved to have gotten it off my chest. Now I just hope they follow through.

They''ll follow through and investigate the claim, but unfortunately they might decide that they can''t/won''t/isn''t worth pursuing...

I''m glad that your state does the anonymous tip thing...in many states you have to provide your identity (so you can testify if necessary)...

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 10/28/2008 6:23:23 PM
Author: EricaR
Well, the decision on what to do was (sort of) taken out of my hands. Today I had to get fingerprinted at the local police department (it is a requirement for my volunteer work with the city). The gal who did the fingerprinting is a police officer in training. I asked her what she would do in that situation and she told me point blank to tell CPS. Then she got me up, marched me down the hall to their office, and helped me fill out a ''tip'' card. They won''t revel who I am and actually didn''t even get that info from me (not like the police down the hall don''t have my fingerprints...!)

I''m relieved to have gotten it off my chest. Now I just hope they follow through.

Good for her. That is EXACTLY what I suggested.

You''ve done what you could

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 10/28/2008 6:23:23 PM
Author: EricaR
Well, the decision on what to do was (sort of) taken out of my hands. Today I had to get fingerprinted at the local police department (it is a requirement for my volunteer work with the city). The gal who did the fingerprinting is a police officer in training. I asked her what she would do in that situation and she told me point blank to tell CPS. Then she got me up, marched me down the hall to their office, and helped me fill out a ''tip'' card. They won''t revel who I am and actually didn''t even get that info from me (not like the police down the hall don''t have my fingerprints...!)

I''m relieved to have gotten it off my chest. Now I just hope they follow through.

I''m so glad to hear that! Now that you''ve gotten the information to the authorities, hopefully this little girl will get the help she needs.

 

[dragonfly411]

GREAT police officer and so glad something has happened here. I do hope that they move forward with this and get this poor child some help she deserves

 

[HOUMedGal]

I''m SO glad to hear this. Erica, you definitely did the right thing. I''m a resident physician in pediatrics, and I can guarantee you that if this story came across my desk or that of any of the pther pediatricians I work with, CPS would most certainly be called. This little girl has serious problems and needs professional psychiatric help, and the behavior of her mother flat-out constitutes serious neglect. It seems like there are a lot of issues to be dealt with in that family, including mom''s own issues, and it will take a long time, but this cannot go on for the safety of that little girl.

 

[sammyj]

Date: 10/24/2008 1:56:39 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 10/24/2008 3:49:52 AM
Author: FrekeChild
. . .
ETA: why hasn't one of her teachers said or done anything?!

My guess is that her teachers have done something at this point, there are pretty strict rules regarding what and how to report irregularities in student behavior.
Now, what happens after things are reported is an entirely different situation. Teachers can only do so much.

I agree that this needs to be reported to CPS.

I agree. Nowhere in the OP's post did it say that the school wasn't doing anything. Children are only in schools for half the day and once the bell rings, there is not much more teachers can do. I am pretty sure the hair/teeth pulling and bowel movements are occurring at home just as much as they are at school. I am also guessing that the teachers have no clue that Amanda isn't actually taking her meds..which I also assume are administered at home with breakfast rather than at school. You don't often see the effectiveness of meds right away and if Amanda is on a trial period they often monitor change for 6-8 weeks until different the meds or dosages are changed.

If I were in your shoes, I would call Child Protective Services right away and tell them exactly what you told us. A child's health and safety is paramount so if you strongly feel that she is not being cared for properly, you must tell a professional.

ETA: oops...I jumped the gun and didn't read through all of the posts. I am glad you can now feel some relief!