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What would you do if.......

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So_happy

Brilliant_Rock
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Nov 12, 2006
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1,084
..........you''re engaged to be married in 9 months and you find out your pregnant?


(fyi: this is purely hypothetical but came from my FI and I having a very illuminating discusion of this "what if" question lol)


Would you

1) go ahead as planned with the wedding, knowing you''ll be about 8-9 months pregnant on your wedding day? (pros: could be very lovely and ya get all you''ve ever dreamed of right away lol. cons: prego in pictures, possibly could deliver early, may have a high risk pregnancy where standing in heavy white dress for 10 hrs in august might exgsasperate thngs a bit)
2) try to move the date forward about 5 months so you are only 4-5 months pregnant and not so big? (pros: can have the wedding and probably not be able to see baby bump in pictures. cons: so little planning time as it is and hard to come up with the money that much quicker, at this point i''d have to get a different dress to compliment my new baby bump lol)
3) try to push the date back to a point where you figure you''ll be back to your pre-pregancy body? (pros: will give more time for planning and comign up with money for wedding, we could change the date to our preffered original month of late may-early june, will have our little baby at our wedding
(how special!!). cons: don''t know if vendors will be able to grant us a change of date, wanted to be married by the time i was 33 (silly requiremnt but it''s mine!).

So, chime in, ladies...........what would you do? Feel free to add other pros and cons that I haven''t thought of!
 

SoonIHope

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
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2,152
I have randomly thought about this too!! Mainly because our total period of engagement is 18 months, so when we were under a year it was "less than a year until we''re married!" and then the countdown really started when I realized if I got pregnant I wouldn''t have the baby before the wedding date! I decided that if I was going to be, say 5 months or less pregnant at the time of the wedding, then I would do it as scheduled, but if I would be more than that then I''d postpone until the baby was 1 or something.

Sidenote: when I saw Milly''s wedding pics with her adorable daughter, I kept thinking "maybe we SHOULD wait until after we have kids to get married b/c think how much more memorable those pictures will be with your little baby in them too!!!"
 

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
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7,395
this happened to a friend of mine. she was to get married in may and they ended up pushing the wedding to the dec. before. she was a few months preggo, but you couldn''t really tell in pics.
 

poptart

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2006
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1,899
I would probably push the wedding up as much as possible, just because I''m vain (haha). I would also not want to be eight months or nine months pregnant with my first child on my wedding day for SO many reasons. It would be uncomfortable, and I would probably be scared since it was my first pregnancy so I would be worried that I wouldn''t be able to concentrate on the wedding itself. I just personally wouldn''t feel good about it, physically. Of course, I''ve never been pregnant, so who knows... plus I''m already married so I''m safe, haha.

*M*
 

So_happy

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
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1,084
i agree that I''m not lovin'' option #1 LOL. And it wouldn''t all be because of vanity. My dress is pretty heavy as it is and I just coudn''t imagine feeling THAT uncomfortable in the dress with my big belly and the heat....ayiyiyiyiyyi lol. Plus, this would be my first baby, too and I KNOW how I get and I would go nuts trying to relish both wonderful events at the same time. I''m in graduate school, too, so I don''t even know how I''d fit that stuff in too lol. It''d be a challenge and a half I bet.

I think the last option sounds the most logical......we could take time to love planning BOTH pregnancy and wedding (especially since lots of the wedding is already planned) and have more time to pay for this expensive wedding stuff ! (we might even be able to afford a few things we can''t now.). AND have our little baby with us when we get married.

My issue would only be that I''d have to get over the fact that I''d be 33 when married and not 32 (gasp!!). I know this sounds funny to a lot of you, probably, but it was actually one of the reasons we chose the wedding date we did........so I''d be 32 (even if 2 months shy of 33......announcments etc would READ 32 lol).

OH well.........all this talk is making me want to get on the pill again ASAP! I was afraid to do that becuase I hear it takes a year to concieve after getting off of it but now I hear there are some that won''t take so much time? Since FI and I have been together for 7 years, we really want to start a family right away and will be wholeheartedly trying on our honeymoon lol.

Anyone know what kind of pill I''m talking aobut?
 

robbie3982

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
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3,960
I would definitely move the wedding up. I want to look back at my pictures and love the way my figure looks in my dress. I''m sure I''ll love my pregnant figure too, but not so much for wedding pics. Plus, I''d really want to be married before the baby came. Not that I think there''s anything wrong with having a child out of wedlock, but I think it''s really hard to explain to kids, especially when they''re young, right and wrong and I could see having one out of wedlock making the whole sex talk thing sooo much more complicated.

It makes me thinkg of one time when I was babysitting a 9 year old boy and we were watching the Britney Spears movie with his older sister and he asked, "How can she be pregnant??? She''s not even married!!" I had no idea what to say to him. lol.
 

poptart

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2006
Messages
1,899
Date: 11/29/2006 4:29:55 PM
Author: So_happy
i agree that I''m not lovin'' option #1 LOL. And it wouldn''t all be because of vanity. My dress is pretty heavy as it is and I just coudn''t imagine feeling THAT uncomfortable in the dress with my big belly and the heat....ayiyiyiyiyyi lol. Plus, this would be my first baby, too and I KNOW how I get and I would go nuts trying to relish both wonderful events at the same time. I''m in graduate school, too, so I don''t even know how I''d fit that stuff in too lol. It''d be a challenge and a half I bet.

I think the last option sounds the most logical......we could take time to love planning BOTH pregnancy and wedding (especially since lots of the wedding is already planned) and have more time to pay for this expensive wedding stuff ! (we might even be able to afford a few things we can''t now.). AND have our little baby with us when we get married.

My issue would only be that I''d have to get over the fact that I''d be 33 when married and not 32 (gasp!!). I know this sounds funny to a lot of you, probably, but it was actually one of the reasons we chose the wedding date we did........so I''d be 32 (even if 2 months shy of 33......announcments etc would READ 32 lol).

OH well.........all this talk is making me want to get on the pill again ASAP! I was afraid to do that becuase I hear it takes a year to concieve after getting off of it but now I hear there are some that won''t take so much time? Since FI and I have been together for 7 years, we really want to start a family right away and will be wholeheartedly trying on our honeymoon lol.

Anyone know what kind of pill I''m talking aobut?
I might be wrong, but I don''t think it takes a whole year to conceive after getting off the pill. I think it takes a month, sometimes two for your cycle to get back to normal, but I''ve never heard it takes a year... maybe UP to a year, and that would only be if the two of you were having a lot of trouble conceiving.

*M*
 

sumbride

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2006
Messages
3,867
Hmm.... well, most women I''ve known didn''t feel like doing much of anything at 9 months, much less having a wedding... I''d probably try to move it up a bit. I saw some pics of a pregnant knottie and it was actually pretty cute! And in some of them she was able to hold her bouquet in such a way as to disguise her bump, but she wasn''t actively trying to hide it in most of them. I don''t think I''d postpone the wedding because if you''re going to get married anyway, it''s easier, legally, to be married when the baby is born than try to get all the paperwork filed afterwards. At least that''s my feeling about it. Many people do it that way, of course.

My FI has always been irrationally worried that I''d get pregnant before we were married. Probably because his brother married his (now ex) wife because she was pregnant and it didn''t work out. That was a whole different situation though. We''re about 11 months away right now and he still yells "Did you take your pill?" every morning... but since we''re not really planning on children, probably ever, I imagine that will continue for many more years. It would just be less hassle if we were married.
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
We''re getting married 4 months after my 23rd birthday (and graduation!), so I certainly hope I won''t be pregnant then! That''s way too soon for me...
But if it was to happen, I would try to move the wedding date sooner than later. I wouldn''t want to have a child while unmarried and I wouldn''t want to add MORE months to an engagement that''s already 26 months long...
I guess we could get married in May rather than September, I''d be about 4 months pregnant.

But we''re certainly not planning on it. Getting preggo while I''m still at school would be a baaad idea! We want kids, but it''ll be at least 5 years before our first.
 

Kit

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 7, 2005
Messages
501
Oh god, what a nightmare scenario IMO. I do NOT want to be pregnant now! But, at this point, I think I would have to keep it and I would elect to postpone the wedding. We would probably have to get hitched at city hall or something immediatley, because apparently FMIL would have a sh*tfit if we gave birth out of wedlock. But I would not want to get married while 8-9 months pregnant. You are typically going to be exhausted, having to pee every 5 minutes, backaches, having to sit down all the time, can''t drink (not an issue for some, I know, but personally I want a few glasses of champagne on my wedding day!
). Plus, what if there was a complication and you had to be on bedrest for the last 3 months or something? Oy...and what if you had bad morning sickness in your first or second trimester...forget about sampling all those delicious food selections at your reception. The whole thing just sounds too risky for me. Better to have the reception later and include the baby in the ceremony.

Also, Poptart you are correct, I know 3 women (including my sister) who got pregnant literally on their first try like weeks after they stopped the pill. Other friends have been off the pill for months, no pregnancy. It just depends I think, but generally...when you go off the pill be prepared for that bun in your oven!!
 

So_happy

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2006
Messages
1,084
Kit~ lol. I think your''e right on every account. Except I don''t want the city hall thing. My biggest concern would be being able to ENJOY the pregnancy and the wedding planning.......and if they come together like that then I''m bound to miss stuff. And missing pregnancy stuff to bridesmaid dress styles would be a shame indeed!!

If we postponed, and included new baby in ceremony (how much i don''t know cuz baby would only be about 10 mos if postponed till May of ''08), I would have lost baby weight by then and we would have more time to save for an even nicer reception (altho now it is pretty darn wonderful) and I''d be able to enjoy baby showers etc w/o worrrying about the bridal shower coming the very next week or something lol.

And, seeing as tho you mentioned it.....I COULD have champagne on my wedding day, and a few more drinks if i feel like it during my bacholreette party hee he hee).

Having the wedding date squished sooner is almost frightening to me......we checked our Knot checklist if that were were the case and the list gets HUMOUNGOUS!!!....and we were having issues getting our normal tasks finsihed as it is with 9 months to go!!! (it would only make sense to us to move the date closer to no later than my 4th month so i''m not showing......but that would be SO soon!!!).

so far, no one would keep wedding date as planned? lol. my FI seems to think this would be a hoot. i''m happy to have the female side of things presented in this case ;-)
 

poptart

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2006
Messages
1,899
Date: 11/29/2006 6:26:06 PM
Author: So_happy
Kit~ lol. I think your''e right on every account. Except I don''t want the city hall thing. My biggest concern would be being able to ENJOY the pregnancy and the wedding planning.......and if they come together like that then I''m bound to miss stuff. And missing pregnancy stuff to bridesmaid dress styles would be a shame indeed!!

If we postponed, and included new baby in ceremony (how much i don''t know cuz baby would only be about 10 mos if postponed till May of ''08), I would have lost baby weight by then and we would have more time to save for an even nicer reception (altho now it is pretty darn wonderful) and I''d be able to enjoy baby showers etc w/o worrrying about the bridal shower coming the very next week or something lol.

And, seeing as tho you mentioned it.....I COULD have champagne on my wedding day, and a few more drinks if i feel like it during my bacholreette party hee he hee).

Having the wedding date squished sooner is almost frightening to me......we checked our Knot checklist if that were were the case and the list gets HUMOUNGOUS!!!....and we were having issues getting our normal tasks finsihed as it is with 9 months to go!!! (it would only make sense to us to move the date closer to no later than my 4th month so i''m not showing......but that would be SO soon!!!).

so far, no one would keep wedding date as planned? lol. my FI seems to think this would be a hoot. i''m happy to have the female side of things presented in this case ;-)
I''m interested to hear why he thinks it would be "a hoot". Could you share? I''ve never had this question presented so I am also curious as to the male view.
 

Tacori E-ring

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
20,009
I thought about this when I was engaged. I love "what ifs". I think I would push the wedding date up. Not because I think it is important to be married before the baby was born (what''s the difference if you know you will be married to each other) but because I am guessing after the baby is born the last thing you would have time for is to plan a wedding. I know a girl that got preggo on their engagement night and delivered a few months before their wedding. She got her weight back and it worked out for them. I would *hate* to be 8-9 months on my wedding day. Talk about uncomfortable!
 

So_happy

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2006
Messages
1,084
when i say my FI thinks it would be a "hoot" i mean he just talks about how cute I''ll look and how beautifull I''ll be as a pregnant woman and all of that wonderful stuff. while that is certainly appreciated (!), I''m thinking on the more realistic end of things where I''ll be fat and heavy and rolly-polly and perhaps even bloated and....well......you get teh idea lol. furthermore........i keep thinking (vainly...yes) how i''ll look in my gown!!! and how the picture in my head is NOT what i''ve pictured since i pictured us getting married.

he''s always been the optimist and I the realist anyway so this is the way convos go for us lol.
 

Kit

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 7, 2005
Messages
501
You know, Tacori that is a good point....I just visited my sister with her 7 week old...she gets about 5 hours of sleep a night and outside of that window she is breast feeding every 2-3 hours, changing diapers, burping, rocking, etc. Basically no time for herself. Granted my BIL is highly invovled but they are both exhausted. You would really have to postpone to when baby was like at least 6 months so that you weren''t crusing through your wedding day like a zombie, breast pumping in the bathroom mid-reception and passing out in the honeymoon suite at 8 pm with your new husband


God I had better be vigilant about my pill
 

Scooba

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 10, 2006
Messages
431
I would push it back from July 2007 to July 2008, mainly because we have a very small time frame during the year in which we are available to get married. Also, because if we are using the exactly 9 month hypothetical, I am having a DW and wouldn''t want to give birth in Mexico or have to cancel the wedding if I gave birth that day and tell all my guests, thanks for coming. Even if I were getting married at home I would still move it rather than be right at the 9 month mark because if I did give birth that day we would lose all the money we put into everything.
 

Larissa

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 20, 2006
Messages
276
None of the above.

We don''t want children. Had we found out that I was pregnant there''s a pretty good chance we would have discontinued the pregnancy.
 

ljmorgan

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 5, 2006
Messages
1,037
I''d move the wedding date up -- really fast! Like... maybe nearly instantly
 

allycat0303

Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
3,255
I would do it as soon as possible too! Although I''m sure that logistically speaking, it''s probably not that easy to move a wedding up by a few months.
 
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