What to say when it comes to people asking about the size?

[Sujuann]

Hello, everyone!!!

I am a newly engaged BIW (haven't asked to be added to the list yet since we haven't set a date) but I had a question and hopefully y'all might have some insight.

My fiancee did a superb job on picking my ring. I jsut left a post about it in LIWabout the fact that he told me it was a 1.25 but it is actually a 1.56. He was trying for modesty and I honestly think he was so nervouse when everything happended that he wasn't thinking straight! Man, I love him!

Anyway....

There re some other ladies in my office that recently got engaegd also. I LOVE my ring!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!! when people see it they are taken aback! And actually ... so am I!

But I find myself when the engaged ladies look at it,they are like "wow it is gorgeous... i love it!" And I see to turn to Miss Humble and say "well, it is the setting that makes it look so big" or "but your ring is gorgeous too". i feel like I am totally taking away the credit from my fiancee on his great job at picking my ring. These ladies had their moment but I feel like I still should down play mine even though it's my turn. Am I making sense? Am I wrong or right to say that? I don't know if anyone else is or has been engaged at the asme time as friends. Was there any drama? Cuz I feel envy and drama coming on and I don't want it! I don't want this to be about "who gets the better ring"!

Also, what do you say to someone when they ask, how big is it? Isn't that considered rude to ask someone unless you are very close to them? I have been saying "Big enough" and smile big.

 

[VRBeauty]

Congratulations on your engagement, and I'm so glad that you love the ring your fiance picked out for you.

I know how hard it can be to just accept a compliment, but you have every right bask in all that attention for awhile. Besides, that automatically trading compliments back and forth thing can get very awkward!

So accept with a smile and keep it simple ... "thanks, I like it too, " or "thanks, my fiance chose it, and I think he did a terrific job".

As for questions about the stone size, I love the response you're using now!

 

[jaz464]

My ring is a 2 carat and I feel the same way. I find myself downplaying it or saying, "well it isn''t that big" etc. Especially around other BIW that may have much smaller diamonds. And then I feel guilty. Everyon should feel proud of their ring, regardless of the size. As to the incredibly rude question of "how big is it", your response is very good. "Why do you ask?" is another response I like.

Really, like MINIMS said, the best thing to say in response to exclamations about its size or beauty would be something like, "thanks so much, my fiance did such a great job picking it out" or "I just love it too." Keep it short and sweet. No need for explanations or embarassment.

 

[ladykemma]

i just tell 'em.

edited to add: (if they ask)

 

[Sujuann]

Thanks, Minims and Jazmin. I feel better knowing that it has happened to others. I will definitley use your advice.

 

[Sujuann]

Date: 7/15/2006 9:40:15 PM
Author: ladykemma
i just tell ''em.

Really, ladykemma? Is the response good or bad when you tell them?

By the way, your ring is beautiful! And I am not just saying that! LOL On here, this website, it''s different when you say that.

 

[ladykemma]

i think it's a north south thing. in the south, when you ogle someone ring, sometimes you get the statistcs too. most of the time they'll tell you all about it especially if you gush long enough.

i've noticed that it's northerners who get their panties in a wad over this.

I don't think its at all rude to ask questions about the ring.

 

[Sujuann]

Date: 7/15/2006 10:09:24 PM
Author: ladykemma
i think it''s a north south thing. in the south, when you ogle someone ring, sometimes you get the statistcs too. most of the time they''ll tell you all about it especially if you gush long enough.

i''ve noticed that it''s northerners who get their panties in a wad over this.

I don''t think its at all rude to ask questions about the ring.

Interesting... Thanks!

 

[ladykemma]

thanks for the compliment, BTW!

curious - what city are you in?

 

[Gypsy]

Just say, thank you. I give compliments to nice big rocks all the time. I always think the people who are just the most gracious... and do not feel forced to reciprocate are the most effective. It's the same thig I do when someone compliments me on my ring... whether the person complimenting me has a smaller or larger stone. ETA: When someone asks me how big it is I just tell them. Of course since mine is an asscher, people are always surprised by the carat weight because it faces up so small.

 

[snlee]

I usually tell them or saying around ___. Sometimes I ask "how big does it look?" Just to see what they think...

 

[Sujuann]

Date: 7/15/2006 11:17:37 PM
Author: ladykemma
thanks for the compliment, BTW!

curious - what city are you in?

I''m in Orlando, FL now but born and raised in Maryland... then to Jersey, York, CT and Texas. My parents are from deep south (Virginia and Louisana). Actually, they were the ones that told me it can be considered rude to ask so to err on the side of caution and don''t. I guess when it comes to Northerners or Southerns it really depends on the person and their perspective on that type of question.

I wouldn''t ask anyone unless they were super super super close to me. (or on Pricescope)

It just depends on your perception. I like the comments I have seen so far. It helps to get ideas on what to actually say. Another perception could be that I would be showing off if I answered how big it was and another perception could be I am a snob if I don''t tell!

lol Oh well... perception is reality I guess... My reality will be not to tell and to smile it off with a Big enough. I think that would be okay.

 

[diamondfan]

I think it depends on who is asking and where. When I got my second upgrade, which is a good size, I noticed that a lot of people make remarks and some of them make me uncomfortable. I was in the mall buying my son some sunglasses and the guy working there literally grabbed my hand and screamed OH MY GOD HOW BIG IS THAT?! He told me he noticed because he had worked in a Zales!!! This was of course a small store so everyone turned around, and I had just handed him my id with my address on it! Needless to say I was not pleased and just said, Oh, I don''t really know, my husband got it for me" I hoped not to sound like a dork, what woman does not know the size of her stone? Very few, I am sure. I think you have gotten good advice...just say thanks and give your guy credit. If you like their ring, compliment theirs, but otherwise just accept the words from them. If someone asks size, you can say what you are saying, and as long as you smile, it will be fine. If someone persists, then tell them if you think NOT telling will be worse than telling. I think you have to just know no matter what you do, some people will be nicer about it than others, and just smile and be mellow about it and it should be fine!

 

[blodthecat]

Date: 7/15/2006 9:18:00 PM
Author: MINIMS
Congratulations on your engagement, and I''m so glad that you love the ring your fiance picked out for you.

I know how hard it can be to just accept a compliment, but you have every right bask in all that attention for awhile. Besides, that automatically trading compliments back and forth thing can get very awkward!

So accept with a smile and keep it simple ... ''thanks, I like it too, '' or ''thanks, my fiance chose it, and I think he did a terrific job''.

As for questions about the stone size, I love the response you''re using now!

Ditto! (and enjoy your ring, you deserve it!)

 

[MINE!!]

I would just tell thgem.. If someone asks about my ring, they want to know. I go into a long speal about it being a 2.3 carat sepssertite from Nigeria with .5+ carats of diamonds. Then I tell them the cutter (Richard Homer) of my stone...

If you are going to ask... you are going to know.

I am proud when people ask about my ring. If they didn;t want to know they would not ask.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I don''t mind telling people the size. They are just curious and it doesn''t bother me but I am a laid-back person. I totally understand how it does get uncomfortable when people GUSH over the ring. I never know what to say because "thank you."

 

[ephemery1]

I think ring-admiring is a classic case of "do unto others..." I have no trouble accepting compliments about my ring, because I have no trouble giving other people compliments about their rings!

If it is inappropriate, like in DiamondFan's situation, that is a different matter... but when it comes to coworkers or family members or neighbors or friends, I'm perfectly happy to share the details when asked. That said, I've only been asked the size by people who know enough about diamonds to care... most other people are just interested in the shape (oval) and setting... especially since most people I know have simpler RB solitaires.

But I think sometimes we PSers have a tendency to assume that the rest of the non-PS world is as impressed and overwhelmed by our rings as we are... when in actuality, as they're gushing over your left hand, they're probably just thinking "oh that's pretty, I wonder when she's getting married?" or "hmm, that looks similar to my cousin's ring... I really should email her to see what she's up to..." or even "wow... she REALLY needs a manicure".

If someone had showed me MY exact ring about 3 years ago, I would have ooohed and aaahed and maybe even asked for details... then immediately forgotten it. Diamonds just weren't a big deal to me... and I kinda have a feeling the majority of people out there are the same way... we're just the exception on here!

 

[E B]

I''m confused as to why it''s rude to ask the size. I mean, it''s a diamond, it''s on your finger, and carat weights are weird as it is. If you don''t want people to admire/ask about (or notice) the size, why wear it in public?

To answer your question, just tell ''em!

 

[ladykemma]

Date: 7/17/2006 12:10:02 AM
Author: EBree
I''m confused as to why it''s rude to ask the size. I mean, it''s a diamond, it''s on your finger, and carat weights are weird as it is. If you don''t want people to admire/ask about (or notice) the size, why wear it in public?

To answer your question, just tell ''em!

another from the south!

would be a good poll. i don''t know how to do it, though.

 

[diamondfan]

Ebree, I guess it might be construed as rude if someone is a bit uncomfortable because of the financial aspect. I always loved diamonds and asked size and shape because I was curious. But, I have had people ask me the size and then ask me how much it cost, and THAT is the part I think is rude...and potentially uncomfortable. But if someone likes my ring and admires it, or my other stuff, I am flattered!

 

[Mara]

i love your answer ''big enough'' with a smile, haha that''s perfect!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I agree DF! I always answer the "how big is your ring" question but never the "how much does that cost?" If they are so curious I am sure they could research how much a certain size diamond is but I never give them a dollar amount. It is none of their business.