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What to do.....

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~*Alexis*~

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 10, 2006
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1,750
As many of you all know, I was in a VERY bad relationship for over 2 years....(do a search if you want the back story...)
Well when we were together, we got a promise ring, and then...well we broke up....here is the thing...I paid for half of my promise ring...yeah...classy I know....lol
well I have a channel set diamond and sapphire ring as my promise ring. Since I paid for half of it, I dont just want to sell it, but I dont want to just let it sit there in a jewelry box either....so if you ever had a promise ring and then broke up with him, what did you do with it?

What should I do with this? I have an EC that I want to put into another setting but, I was looking to have sapphires on it and was thinking about taking them out of this ring...but...the back history...ick....


Any Advice???



promise ring 001.jpg
 

diamondfan

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 17, 2005
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11,016
I would leave it and let it remind me of what not to put up with. I am not a massively superstitious person but I am not sure I would want those stones with a ring I wanted to wear now...
 

aussiegirl23

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 25, 2006
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465
Alexis,

As hard as this might seem, and depsite any financial loss you might incur, just sell it. It''s not worth the headache and constant reminder, no matter how you use or reset the old stones. Cut your losses and create something entirely new.

Just my .02

Aussie
 

fire&ice

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 22, 2002
Messages
7,828
It''s a very pretty ring. The question you have to ask yourself - can you separate the ring from the bad experience? If so, wear it knowing you moving on and are stronger for it. If not, sell it.

Just me 2cent.
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
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31,003
Date: 1/30/2007 1:08:14 PM
Author: fire&ice
It''s a very pretty ring. The question you have to ask yourself - can you separate the ring from the bad experience? If so, wear it knowing you moving on and are stronger for it. If not, sell it.

Just me 2cent.
Ditto. Sometimes I had jewelry from relationships that I dug out years later. Most of the time it wasn''t to my taste anymore and I just tossed it or gave it away. It just really depends on if you think you might want to wear it or use the stones later (are they good quality?) or not and if you can disassociate memories from it.
 

~*Alexis*~

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 10, 2006
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1,750
Well the stones are great quality...they are a very pretty dark blue....the diamonds are si1 with no visible inclusions....its a great ring and I like it, but I am not necessarily superstitious but..I dunno. I know its a classic piece so its the kind of thing that will never go out of style....ugh...I dunno I just dont want these stones to go to waste...lol
 

Finding_Neverland

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2007
Messages
412
Personally, I''m too much of a memories/associative person to hang onto anything from old relationships. I''d probably get rid of it. Sell it or give it away.

You could try letting it set, put away for a while, and then see how you feel about the ring. As Fire & Ice and Mara both said, it is a pretty ring that you may want to wear again.

My sister went thru a broken Engagement where she kept the rings. They had bought a matched set, e-ring and w-band so she wound up with both rings when it was over. She held onto the rings for several years. Even after she married. She thought possibly about resetting the diamond into a ring that she would wear. But that never happened.

Sis'' Hubby was Military when they first married and money was very tight. They needed a new vacuum cleaner so Sis sold the rings and bought herself a new vac. At least that first dud of a guy finally did something good for Sis after all!
 

stretch4

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 25, 2004
Messages
4,360
I agree with F&I. If you won''t wear it or don''t want to use the stones in another project, then just sell it.
 

curiopotter

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 27, 2006
Messages
658
Alexis,

I completely understand where you''re coming from. I too have a promise/engagement/wedding ring, that looks almost exactly like the one you have, platinum, except my diamonds and saphires are smaller and go around the entire band. I''m not sure about the quality of the diamonds, however. I think he bought it at Zales so there''s no telling.

I''ve kept the ring for almost 6 years now, and I can''t let it go. I thought about selling it, I thought about re-using the stones... but I can''t even think about putting that ring on anymore, much less putting the stones into my engagement ring. I''m not supersticious, but to me, the symbol... of what that relationship was... is ingrained in those stones. It was a terriblly volitile relationship, and one that I''ll probably regret my entire life, but I realize that as my own engagement gets closer and closer, I should probably let it go.

I don''t think I''ll ever use it for anything, and I don''t have any inclination to use the stones inside.. even if I wore it as a pin, I would still remember the symbolisim of the stones and, I dunno.. like I said, I''m not a supersticious person, but it feels wrong. Especially infront of my SO (who knows nothing of the ring). I think I''ll eventually sell it, and use the money for something positive. I think it''ll give me closure.

You should do what you feel; if you love the stones and don''t see anything wrong with wearing them again, then go for it. In your heart, do you think you could live with it?
 

Janice61

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 21, 2007
Messages
12
Alexis, given the history of this ring for you, you really could sell it for the money you put into it and have the cash in hand. I am sure someone would love to have this for a good price.
 

divergrrl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2002
Messages
2,224
My philosophy?

Don''t blame the jewelry!!!!

Unless one is in a situation where it is appropriate to return the item (engagement ring--engagement broken before wedding, family piece from man''s family, etc...you can see where I''m going) I say just keep it unless it brings you bad juju.

I had a channel set diamond band like that, a Christmas gift from a live in boyfriend who was a jerk. I had to ditch it. I gave it to a pregnant girlfriend whose band didn''t fit & told her to keep it or throw it away.

diver...
 

Mannequin

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 16, 2006
Messages
1,733
Alexis, why not sell it and put the money toward a new setting for the EC? You could get something new and gorgeous and fresh to imprint a new round of memories upon. I know some people don''t tie anything to the ring, like my mom - she uses the marquis from her first marriage in her wedding ring from my father. When I broke my engagement a little over a month ago, she told me to keep my ring so I could "scrap" it later. I couldn''t do it, though. I wanted nothing to do with that piece of jewelry and likely would have sold it.
 

movie zombie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 20, 2005
Messages
11,879
yep, don''t blame the jewelry!

hold onto it as a reminder of what you don''t want in your life. reset it and wear the whatever as a reminder that you can remove yourself from a bad relationship and move on to something more beautiful. keep it to give to a special friend or relative at some point. keep it and reset the stones for your daughter one day.......

movie zombie
 

KimberlyH

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
Messages
7,485
My mom wears a diamond ring (channel set diamonds, 1/2 eternity) daily given to me by the man I was engaged to, pre-DH. It reminds her how thankful she is that I walked away, she also just really liked the ring. I''m thrilled she found a use for it as it''s trade in value is nil. I am not one to attach big meanings to posessions so it doesn''t matter to me (I use a wooden jewelry box made by the first man I ever had a real, long term relationship with if that gives you any indication of how I feel about such things). It''s all about personal choice; if you can''t let it go of what it stands for then sell the ring or recycle the stones, if you aren''t someone who cares about such things in a sentimental manner than hang on to it, you may want to wear it eventually, or turn it into a new project.
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
11,071
Date: 1/30/2007 1:07:00 PM
Author: diamondfan
I would leave it and let it remind me of what not to put up with. I am not a massively superstitious person but I am not sure I would want those stones with a ring I wanted to wear now...
OMG the first part is *exactly* what I was just going to post.... but I disagree about wearing it... I would wear it on my right hand as a CONSTANT reminder - even a promise to MYSELF - of what NOT to accept! And when the right guy came along I might just chuck it in the ocean ala titanic lol
 

Samantha Red

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 9, 2007
Messages
441
My two pennies worth is as follows:

Sell it

After my marriage broke up I sold everything, including my Ering. The only good thing that my ex did was panic every Christmas and go to the jewellers and buy some expensive bit of jewellry. Luckily the last one we were together I didn''t like the ring that he chose so I swapped it for something twice the price, ha ha. I sold my e ring to my boss at the time and I didn''t feel remotely bad or sad. I kept my wedding ring because my grandmothers ring was incorporated into that and one day I will have that converted into a different ring. At the end of the day they are only significant in the context of the relationship and if that ends they just become pretty baubles. You should then do whatever you wish and benefits you the most. I felt that if I kept them in a box it would be allowing ''him'' to still have some influence over my every day life, and why should they? If they have treated you badly in any way shape or form you are in control of minimising how long that goes on for.

Just my take on things, everyone should do what feels right for them
 

Independent Gal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2006
Messages
5,471
Here''s my 2 cents to add to the pile (gee, you''ll soon have enough 2 cents for an upgrade!
)

Today I''m wearing a micro pave diamond necklace which I love which was given to me by a man so bad that if I told you how bad he was (is?) you probably just wouldn''t believe me. I mean, this guy was truly unbelievable in his badness. But, for some reason, I don''t associate it with him anymore. And I love it.

If you love the ring. Wear it and just consciously disassociate it from him.

BUT, if it makes you think of him (and I followed your thread, and wanted to hit the jerk overandoverandover again for how he treated you), then trade it in and get yourself a ''(thank God I didn''t go for) Engagement Ring''. That''s what I did (my thread back in October-ish) when I decided not to get engaged after all. I ended up getting a Tiffany piece. Every time I wear it, it reminds me that i''m strong and independent and free, and that I made the right decision. That feels GREAT. The ring makes me so happy!

So, you could go that route and trade it in to get yourself something that reinforces good thoughts.

It all depends on whether it makes you feel bad to look at it.

I wouldn''t re-set the stones, since they''re small-ish and the labor costs might be more than would make it worthwhile.
 
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