What to do in between ceremony and reception?

[Sabine]

When the ceremony doesn''t start right after the reception, is it customary to host some sort of gathering for people to attend, especially the ooters who probably don''t want to go back to their hotel?

Our ceremony is a full Catholic mass at 3:00, so it will probably be over at 4-4:15ish. We have our reception venue for 5 hours (that includes cocktail hour), and I really don''t want the wedding to be over at 9:30 at night, which is when it would be over if the reception immediately followed.

First question: If the reception started at 5 and ended at 10, would that seem weird? I don''t think we would need to host any event in between due to travel time, time taking pictures at church, etc.

Or, if we had the reception start later, what time would be good? Would it be weird for the parents of the groom to host a luncheon type thing with pre-appetizers? They are the only ones who own a house that people could come to anywhere near the wedding.

Finally, are there any ideas on things we could have our guest do other than stop at the parents of the groom''s house for snacks? I don''t really want FI''s parents having to worry about hosting this on top of all the other wedding stress, but I can''t think of any other options.

 

[kimberlina13]

Is there anyway you would consider the reception from 6-10? If your ceremony doesn''t end until 4:15, will 45 minutes be enough for you to get all the pictures you want AND get all the family and bridal party to the reception in time? I wasn''t planning a cocktail hour either, so what I did, was just ordered a couple of passed hors d''oeuvers (spelling? can NEVER spell it correctly) that were passed around my ballroom instead of setting up another area. The room and bars were already set up in the ballroom, so we just let people right in to mingle and munch a little bit and get something to drink. We started introductions right at 6 and didn''t leave until 10..just my .02

 

[Sabine]

See, the thing that confuses me about all of this is that I know the bridal party and probably family will be at the church taking pictures for a bit, and then the bridal party is taking pictures at the reception site outside...but this is when most of the other people invited to the wedding would be at the cocktail hour, right? Our reception is only about a 20 minute drive from the church (if that), so if the ceremony ended around 4, and I had the cocktail hour at 5, and the reception start at 6 and end at 10, would that work? Would people think 10 is too early for a wedding to be over?

 

[gtn]

Sabine - I have been to a full catholic masses that last anywhere between 1-2 hours (I know those two hour ones are painful). Have you talked to priest to see how long he expects the mass to be? I would start walking down at 3:30, so the mass ends at 4:30 at the earliest, then start dinner at 6. Having the FIL''s host something is added stress and cost. If people show up early to the reception, will they be turned away, if not, perfect. Have the reception start at 6.

One thing to keep in mind is when are you getting married. What type of shots and type of shots and what kind of lighting are you looking for?

 

[kimberlina13]

10 would definitely not be too early, especially if your ceremony starts at 3, that''s 7 hours for guests. If your reception room will be ready to go at 4:30, then my advice would be to let them go in, find their seats, and mingle with some light appetizers to munch on. That way by 6, they''ll be primed to party! Also, if you''re wanting your guests to not get there so early, is there a scenic route that you can take them that would be a little longer? Instead of having my guests get on the freeway, I let them meander their way up Peachtree Street, which is beautiful to drive through in October, so that bought me some time as well.

 

[zoebartlett]

Hi Sabine!

Okay, you''re not going to want to hear this, but I''d really recommend having the reception (cocktail hour, etc.) right after the ceremony/Mass. I''d feel more comfortable just continuing the party after the wedding and not going to anyone''s house to hang out first, regardless of whether I was an OOT guest or not. I think having a long gap in between breaks up the celebration.

I don''t think ending the reception around 9:00 or 10:00 is too early. You could always have an after party at a bar, hotel, restuarant or somewhere else, if you think people will want to continue to hang out.

 

[musey]

All I can say is that I've been to one wedding where the reception didn't immediately follow the ceremony... and oh, MAN was it an obnoxious wait! It was supposed to start 45 minutes after, so everyone went straight there from the church (not really time to go anywhere else in between) but we all had to sit in the lobby of the reception hall waiting for them to let us in. There were no chairs, so all the ladies were wobbling in their heels after awhile. The bridal party and family were about 20 minutes late because of pictures, and the management wouldn't open the hall until the person holding the contract (bride's father) got there.

All in all, we spent about an hour and a half standing outside the reception hall, with nowhere to sit and nothing to do. Some people even gave up and went home. There are too many hiccups that can happen with this kind of situation, IMO.

Anyway, sorry for the tangent... but I would really suggest having your venue opened for the cocktail hour within the minimum amount of travel time between locations, if not immediately. It should be open and ready to go when they get there. You might end up with some cranky guests otherwise!

 

[indecisive]

ditto musey and zoe. We went to a wedding where there was over an hour between the ceremony and reception. We didn''t know the area so we drove straight to reception location, as did most of the guests, and we had to stand outside the location. They wouldn''t even let us in. We all had to stand outside (girls in heels!) and wait. The would only let the elderly go in to use the restroom and then they were escorted out to wait. Not a fun start to the evening and right then I decided I would have my ceremony and reception at the same place one after the other.

 

[Sabine]

Thanks for the advice. I agree that it does make the most sense to have the reception start immediately. Now I guess I''ll have to ask my reception manager whether they would make our guests wait outside for the reception to begin (because Musey, that does sound OBNOXIOUS) if they got there up to a half hour early, or if they would be able to go in and sit down/start eating the hors d''oevres as soon as they get there (and if there is an extra cost if it is before the reception "officially" started).

 

[HollyS]

I think you''ll be giving your guests just about the right amount of time between ceremony end and reception start, if your reception begins at 5pm. I don''t think you''ll have to worry about what to do with guests. Some may stick around to see you pose for pictures afterwards -- at least quite a few relatives would probably do that. Ask your venue if they can have cold beverages available for guests as early as 4:45pm; they may be able to accommodate you on this without too much hassle or extra $$.

 

[Pandora II]

I was at FBIL's wedding in Chicago last month and approx. 50% of the guests were from the UK.

The ceremony was 3.00 till 3.30 and we all arrived at the reception venue at 4.00pm. No-one had explained to us or even the groomsmen that they would go off to do photos before getting to the reception.

They didn't get back to the reception venue until nearly 7.30pm, by which time we had all been waiting 3.5 hours. None of us knew the city, so about 50 of us just stood around in the road waiting!

If it was about an hour wait and people knew I think that would be okay, but warn everyone!

 

[nebe]

I know it''s a very odd idea, but what if you showed a movie at your coctail hour(s)? Like, have everyone go to the ballroom/venue and show a short film on a projection screen with simple foods and drinks (non-alcoholic?) so they have something to actually focus on while you''re doing your thing. It''ll help with the kids too!! You could even make it a film about you and your SO with fun facts or something.

I''ve never heard of it done or been to a wedding where anyone did it, but I know from experience that cocktail hours suck. ESPECIALLY in heels. I''m going to have chairs and stuff available for guests and if it''s possible have a film or games for them to play.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 11/9/2007 10:33:48 AM
Author: Pandora II
I was at FBIL''s wedding in Chicago last month and approx. 50% of the guests were from the UK.

The ceremony was 3.00 till 3.30 and we all arrived at the reception venue at 4.00pm. No-one had explained to us or even the groomsmen that they would go off to do photos before getting to the reception.

They didn''t get back to the reception venue until nearly 7.30pm, by which time we had all been waiting 3.5 hours. None of us knew the city, so about 50 of us just stood around in the road waiting!

If it was about an hour wait and people knew I think that would be okay, but warn everyone!

Wow! A 3.5 hour wait?! Let that be a lesson: don''t let your guests wait that long while you do pictures -- how annoying! A half hour/45 min. is all you should need, unless you''re the dang royal family with gazillions of attendants.

 

[musey]

Date: 11/9/2007 10:50:25 AM
Author: nebe
I know it''s a very odd idea, but what if you showed a movie at your coctail hour(s)? Like, have everyone go to the ballroom/venue and show a short film on a projection screen with simple foods and drinks (non-alcoholic?) so they have something to actually focus on while you''re doing your thing. It''ll help with the kids too!! You could even make it a film about you and your SO with fun facts or something.

That''s actually a really common thing to do at weddings!! Usually a slideshow, though. Videos are a bit more of an undertaking

Could be a cute idea to compile a video of all your favorite "romantic movie moments." It''s not as obnoxiously "me me me!" as I usually find those slideshows to be, and would certainly put people in a romantic state of mind!

 

[Haven]

Ditto Musey--start the reception right after the ceremony.

And 10 is not even close to being too early to end a reception--remember, all of your guests are not going to be young and full of energy like you two! A seven hour day is very long for your guests, especially after sitting in a full mass (which is so nice--I''ve been to three Catholic weddings with full masses and they were beautiful) and eating and drinking.

I''ve noticed that a lot of the "older" relatives leave receptions early, and I''m sad to say that even though I''m young, I know I''d run out of steam by 9 myself.

 

[nebe]

Date: 11/9/2007 11:28:04 AM
Author: musey

Date: 11/9/2007 10:50:25 AM
Author: nebe
I know it''s a very odd idea, but what if you showed a movie at your coctail hour(s)? Like, have everyone go to the ballroom/venue and show a short film on a projection screen with simple foods and drinks (non-alcoholic?) so they have something to actually focus on while you''re doing your thing. It''ll help with the kids too!! You could even make it a film about you and your SO with fun facts or something.

That''s actually a really common thing to do at weddings!! Usually a slideshow, though. Videos are a bit more of an undertaking

Could be a cute idea to compile a video of all your favorite ''romantic movie moments.'' It''s not as obnoxiously ''me me me!'' as I usually find those slideshows to be, and would certainly put people in a romantic state of mind!

That is a REALLY good idea. I''m SURE you could find one already put together. Like "50 most romantic hollywood scenes" or something. Those shows are on daytime cable ALL the time!!

 

[Krissie]

Hi Sabine!

I''m in a similar situation to you. Our wedding (full Catholic mass) starts at 2.30 and will end around 3.45.

We have a cocktail hour (passed hors d''oeuvres and drinks) beginning at 4.30, and the entire reception will end at 10 pm. I initially thought this was a really early end to the night, but the guests will have joined us for at least 7.5 hours by that time!

Luckily our reception venue is very close to the hotel where most guests will be staying (half our guests are coming from outside the US), so after the ceremony they can pop by the hotel to freshen up if they so desire; also, there are a lot of nice bars and lounges in the immediate vicinity if they want to carry on drinking after our reception ends at 10 pm.

Our photographer does only about 20 minutes of posed photos after the wedding; he''s a photojournalist. We are not attending our cocktail hour - our parents will probably show up halfway through the cocktail hour to mingle with guests, and we''re undecided as to whether the bridesmaids and groomsmen will join them, or just stay with us. After the cocktail hour, the guests will be escorted to their dinner seats, and then we''ll make our grand entrance around 5.30 pm.

Hope that helps!

 

[Sabine]

Thanks for all the reassurance and ideas! I think it will work out well to have the reception start really soon if not immediately after the wedding, with something entertaining for guests to watch at the cocktail hour while we are taking pics! I LOVE the idea of movie clips!