What should I do?

[suchairman]

Hi Everyone!

If you've read my previous post then you know I am planning on proposing to my GF on Thanksgiving weekend. Like anyone else I want it to be a surprise. But the problem is some of her family and friends just have this hunch that its going to happen over the Holidays either Thanksgiving or Christmas. I have been very careful as to not let any hints slip or any changes from my normal behavior that she may detect. But as her arrival date approaches she gets calls from her friends asking "Does she think this is it?" Her aunt and parents have been expecting it since her B-Day which was in May. But I was aware of it so thats why I've delayed it. I want to tell them not to talk to her about it, but at the same time I want it to be a surprise to them as well, nor do I want to run the risk of asking them not to discuss it and the end up letting the "Diamond out of the Box", know what I mean? So what should I do? Since they seem to be expecting it:
1. Postpone it a bit to keep the suspense?

or

2. Go ahead and get it over with?

 

[Arlington]

I'm voting to go ahead and go for it, despite my generally mischievious personality. Have you considered throwing her off by having her parents or someone else plant doubt in some way? Maybe they could say that you had indicated to them you were considering proposing around New Year's or something?

 

[suchairman]

Arlington! How's it going? Thanks for your input. To answer your question. I thought about that but the thing is I haven't asked her parents about proposing yet. I'm going to to that once they get in town next Friday. But however, I have been doing my best to put doubt in her mind. I've been doing a pretty good job of it. Remember, from my last post she thinks I'm still window shopping. But the problem keeps coming in when her friends and aunt whom she is very close with, keep filling her mind with hope that I'm going to do it the next time I see her. It's like everytime I think I have the table set someone comes and breaks a tableleg.(lol) But anyway, I'm with you, I say go for it. But others who I've talked to say change the date. That's why I'm taking the poll.

P.S.~TO ALL READERS YOUR VOTES WILL BE VERY HELPFUL TO ME THANKS!

 

[NY SPARKLE]

Go ahead and do it. Let it "slip" to a family member that the december holidays is when it will happen. That will throw them off.

 

[hawaii_justine]

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 yrs now. We have been talking about getting mrried for the last year or so. In the last six months we got a lot more serious and he told me to start looking for the type of diamond I wanted. A month ago I found the perfect one and he purchased it. Since then I have been on the search for the setting. Two weeks ago I gave him the three I liked the best and now it is in his hands. everyday I gt called by somebody asking me if we are engaged yet. I know that it will be happening soon but don't know exactly when.

I guess this has just been a long way of saying that I voted for you to just ask her. I know (as I am sure she has a feeling) that it is going to happen soon and for me there is still a lot of surprise as to when it will be, where it will be, how he will do it, and a number of other things. Even if everyone she knows is asking her is she engaged yet she will still have the surprise of when it is going to happen. Hopefully I didn't ramble on too long.

Justine

 

[suchairman]

Hi everyone!

I have been monitoring the votes from the poll. I just wanted to thank everyone who has participated thus far and encourage all other readers to participate because my time is vastly approaching. Also, if anyone has any comments/suggestions I would be more than happy to hear your opinions. Thanks everyone!

 

[morgilla]

I may be wordy here....but well it's gets my point across. I was reading over your post and voted in your poll. I guess I'm sort of in the same situation that you are (well my boyfriend is). We've talked about marriage for about 6 months. And when we first started talking about it, I thought it was rushing into things and had to slow him down a bit. Since then he has bought a new house and lots of things have changed. My cat has moved in with him - because he was lonely (the cat...not my boyfriend) and is able to hang out with other cats now. I've also taken all of my furniture out of storage and had it shipped to me from 1800 miles away to help fill his house with furniture. I wouldn't do this if I didn't truely love him and know I was going to spend the rest of my life with this guy. However, I'm not living with him yet. I will not move in until I have a ring on my finger. He's known that since the very first date we went on and I'm sticking to that. He's always talking about how nice it would be to come home to me every night, etc...but still hasn't asked me yet. My family and friends and well his too keep asking...so is there a ring yet? I just went home to visit my mother and friends last month and I don't think there was one person who didn't ask me the same thing. He too is getting it from his side of the family. I get it everyday at work, etc...(I think you get my point). Anyway, he keeps telling me with everyone asking that they are taking the element of surprise out of it. And that everytime someone else asks, he just keep post poning it. It's almost like I'm being punished because people who care about us are curious. So, if you can't tell, I voted that you go ahead and give it to her. No matter how you do it...it will still be a day that the two of you will always remember. Best of luck with your plans whatever you choose to do. Keep us posted!

 

[suchairman]

Thanks Morgilla! I never looked at it that way

"...Punishing her because those who care about us are curious.") That's a good perspective that you pointed out. By the way, you are right me and your boyfriend are in the exact same predicament. I forgot about the curiosity she getting from her co-workers. But anyway, thanks you for your vote and comments. I'll be sure to keep everyone posted once I make my final decision.
From the looks of things it seems almost everyone wants me to get "down on one knee" we'll find that out on the last day of the poll 11/27/03.

Thanks Again!

 

[strmrdr]

Not too be mean but are you sure thats the real reason you put it off or just the excuse?
You need to be sure of the answer to that before you ask her.

If it is really what you want to do go ahead and ask her over the holidays.
Letting it slip that your asking on Christmas Eve to the busy bodies then asking on thanksgiving would be a good twist :}
If they tell her afterwards that they had been told Christmas eve and it becomes an issue you can always say I was going to wait but my great love for you made waiting unbearable so I had to ask :}

 

[BigB8405]

Hey suchairman! I'm planning on talking with my girlfriend's parents this Friday. And I know that they're gonna have a hard time keeping a secret, that's why I'm gonna tell them that I'm proposing to her on New Year's Eve, when actually I plan on proposing on the Dec 19th. I know my girlfriend wants it to be a surprise, and I can tell that yours does too. So I would try and throw her off track by hinting at a later proposal. Good luck man! And be sure to keep us posted

 

[suchairman]

To: "Strmrdr"
Thanks for your opinion, but to answer your question. There's no doubt in my mind that I'm ready to take this next step in my relationship. Actually, it's eating me up because I am so anxious to pop the question. I feel that she is soooooo deserving of it. I'm just glad that I'm the guy who gets to share this very exciting moment with her. No, I'm not having any second thought or jitters if thats what you're impling, so having said that, I guess I need to take your advice as well and follow my heart. I just want her to be surprised thats all. Thanks again for your input and vote. Check back to see how it turns out!

To: "BIG B"
Thanks for the good luck wishes and I wish you the same on this Friday, I'll also be asking her parents on Friday afternoon, but I'm planning on doing the actual proposal this Saturday evening. I like the idea, that's pretty much what everyone else is suggesting I do. Thanks again & Good Luck. You be sure to keep us posted as well!

 

[strmrdr]

I will be waiting to hear all about it!
Sorry about the question but I felt it had to be asked marriage isn’t something to be entered into lightly.

When I got engaged I found that the hard part wasn’t asking her but asking her dad was hard.

Good luck with the proposal :}

 

[suchairman]

I totally agree with you "strmrdr". No offense was taken about that question you asked sorry if it came off to you that way. But in reply to your last post, That's actually the part I'm most nervous about, although I'm 100% sure they (asking both parents) won't have any objections to me marrying their daughter. I just think this is the part most guys get the jitters. But I'll let everyone know how it goes!

 

[Colored Gemstone Nut]

Hi Suchairman....




I voted for go ahead and get it over with..I think you may have kept yourself in suspense too long...

Keep us posted..

 

[suchairman]

"Colored gemstone Nut": I'm not sure what you mean by me keeping myself in suspense, care to elaborate?

 

[Colored Gemstone Nut]

Hi Suchairman,




I hope you did not take offense...




What I meant was it seems like you want the element of surprise to be involved in your proposal..In the meantime everyone already has a good idea of what is going to happen (including yourself) but it's up to you to decide when.




Because "when" is going to be scheduled around the holidays and you stated earlier that last time you delayed it because the family had an idea, you might be to the point where it might not be a surprise if you keep delaying...




Everytime a special time of year or event comes up the family might be caught up in expecting and you might be caught up in wanting it to be a surprise too much...




I guess what I should have said was let things follow the course in how you set them in motion...If the family is expecting let them expect..None the less the moment will be special....




Does this make sense....

 

[suchairman]

I got you "Colored Gem.", no offense was taken, I just wasn't clear on what you said. But we're on the same page now thanks!

 

[suchairman]

Hi everyone, just wanted everyone to no today is the last day for the poll so if you have anymore last minute suggestions or votes I would be more than happen to read your post. From the looks of things looks like I'll be popping the question Saturday night. I plan to use the advise many of you suggested "Telling the parents I plan to do it around Christmas or New Years." Special thanks to everyone hear @ pricescope. I'll send a post on next Wednesday when I get back in town updating you all on how it went. Thanks so much everyone!

Wish me Luck!