What non-registry items did you receive? Good or bad.

[CrownJewel]

The concept of a gift registry is totally foreign to my family (especially my mom) and FI''s family. They both say that monetary gifts are the way to go in their cultures. Bridal showers are also foreign to them. My mom was already telling me about a gift that she got me, but the way she said it was so funny! She said "it''s not something you want. If you don''t want it, I''ll keep it." Even when she said it in Chinese it sounded really weird for her to say.

So now I''m wondering what it could be. And if any of you received things that you didn''t put on your registries. Which gifts were GREAT and which gifts were just

 

[Cleopatra]

My bridal shower was nearly two weekends ago - and the majority of the gifts I received were not off of our registries....

I can''t tell you how many platters and serving bowls I received...I love them all, but will be doing some SERIOUS entertaining in order to use all of them!

My favorite non-registry gift was a big patio ice bucket on a stand for outdoor parties....it was a metal ice bucket with our college logo on it! FI loves it!

 

[CrownJewel]

I will start, because to this day, I feel a little guilty for this wedding faux pas that I committed years ago. It was the first American wedding that I had ever been invited to, and my college roomate told me that usually couples register at a store for gifts that they want. I looked through their registry, and since I was totally naive about wedding registries (why so many pots and pans? that''s not a fun gift. or so I thought back then), I decided I would get them something more personal. So I got them fancy books related to their professions, from a fancy bookstore.

I wrapped them and brought these 4 HEAVY books to their wedding. (faux pas number 2?) I thought I was so cool getting them something more interesting and personal than housewares and linens!

I worked with the groom, so a few months later when one of my high school friends got married, he asked me what I was getting her and where is she registered. I told him that I don''t know what to get them because everything on their registry is either housewares or linens

. He said, "well it''s customary to either get something from their registry or give them money. Actually most couples prefer money." I guess that was his way of protecting me from future mistakes! Oops.

 

[CrownJewel]

Date: 5/29/2008 10:54:32 AM
Author: Cleopatra
My bridal shower was nearly two weekends ago - and the majority of the gifts I received were not off of our registries....

Interesting. Obviously I''m still new to this wedding registry thing...

Is it more common to receive mostly registry gifts, or mostly non-registry gifts?

 

[Cleopatra]

I was pretty suprised - because as people walked in, they TOLD me that this is just the "shower gift and not the wedding gift" - i really didn''t know what to say to that - i think they chose a thoughtful gift for the shower - and i''m not really sure if they will chose another gift or a registry gift for the wedding....

I was kind of dumbfounded - because where I''m from, the shower gift IS the wedding gift...hmm...

As far as etiquette goes, you got me! I have no idea! I usually ALWAYS buy off of registries...they are there to help poor, un-creative souls like me!

 

[jcrow]

we got a lcd tv that was unexpected and not on our registry. one glass pitcher a frame and a plaque. the rest were from our registry.
but we made sure the word was spread that we had a registry and could really use the items we put on it. in a tactful way of course

 

[CrownJewel]

Date: 5/29/2008 11:04:12 AM
Author: jcrow
we got a lcd tv that was unexpected and not on our registry. one glass pitcher a frame and a plaque. the rest were from our registry.
but we made sure the word was spread that we had a registry and could really use the items we put on it. in a tactful way of course

Please tell me there is a "plaque" that is neither a "First Place!", "Employee of the Year", "10,000 units sold. Salesperson of the Month", or the buildup between your teeth kind of plaque.

Do tell, jcrow, what was this plaque you received and what did you do with it?

 

[Pandora II]

I''ve found that amongst me friends and relatives it''s about 50/50 registry/non registry gifts. I''ve never known anyone give money - except my grandmother who gives ''ring-fenced'' money for a carpet/bed/bookcase or whatever.

My sister didn''t have a registry so all her gifts were whatever people brought. There was an ugly vase, but otherwise they were all lovely gifts.

I have a registry as we actually need the items on it - they''re very boring: linens, china, flatware etc

We don''t have showers over here so you get those kind of gifts for your wedding.

My mother has just rung me to ask for some non-registry suggestions for some of their computer illiterate friends, so I''ve got to go and dream up a few ideas.

I don''t really mind what we are given. My Polish cleaning-lady broke a very unimportant ornament a few months ago, and even though I said it wasn''t a problem, wasn''t expensive and we weren''t upset in the slightest, she turned up the next week with the most hideous china elephant I have ever seen! He has pride of place on our mantlepiece and every time I see him I remember her and how sweet she is.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/29/2008 11:03:20 AM
Author: Cleopatra
I was pretty suprised - because as people walked in, they TOLD me that this is just the ''shower gift and not the wedding gift'' - i really didn''t know what to say to that - i think they chose a thoughtful gift for the shower - and i''m not really sure if they will chose another gift or a registry gift for the wedding....


I was kind of dumbfounded - because where I''m from, the shower gift IS the wedding gift...hmm...

Where I''m from (or at least my circle of friends & family), some people buy registry gifts for both the shower and the wedding (most people do buy a gift for each occasion--the shower gift is usually fairly inexpensive compared to the wedding gift). Oftentimes what I do (whether this is what I''m supposed to do or not) is, if I am very close with the couple, I will get them a big registry item for the wedding, but something personal from me for the shower. That way, they are happy because they get something practical off the registry, and I am happy because I dislike buying off registries and get to give a personalized (and sometimes also practical!) gift to them as well! But I have no idea about etiquette rules so maybe that is uncouth of me, I dunno.

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/29/2008 11:10:26 AM
Author: CrownJewel

Date: 5/29/2008 11:04:12 AM

Author: jcrow

we got a lcd tv that was unexpected and not on our registry. one glass pitcher a frame and a plaque. the rest were from our registry.

but we made sure the word was spread that we had a registry and could really use the items we put on it. in a tactful way of course

Please tell me there is a ''plaque'' that is neither a ''First Place!'', ''Employee of the Year'', ''10,000 units sold. Salesperson of the Month'', or the buildup between your teeth kind of plaque.

You are so funny, CrownJewel!

We''ve received a lot of gifts that are not from our registry and we''re not even married yet.

We just had our first bridal shower last weekend and most of the gifts we received were not off the registry. It was a holiday-themed shower, so each guest was assigned a holiday for their gift, so we received SO MANY really meaningful Jewish gifts--seder plates, a home torah, that kind of thing. Ooh, we also received a champagne bucket for New Year''s, a margarita recipe book and gorgeous margarita glasses for Cinco de Mayo, a Snoopy sno-cone machine for Fourth of July, and a tonne of baby stuff for "Labor Day"! Ha, ha--my friend thought she was REALLY funny with that one. I had to declare "I AM NOT PREGNANT!" when I started opening that gift, and it took us a while to figure out her holiday.

Anyway, we''re happy to receive gifts at all, and our friends and family have found the most beautiful things for us. It was so surreal to show up to a shower and be "showered" with gifts. My FI said "Wow, we''re just getting married--I can''t believe people are being so generous!"

Crown--I don''t think you should feel guilty for buying off registry. A registry is just a way of making things easier for guests to choose a gift, but guests certainly do not have to use them. I think it''s wonderful that you took the time to find a gift that seemed personally relevant to your friends, and if they were ungrateful then they''re the ones who should feel guilty.

I think it''s so tacky when couples complain that their guests bought them things that weren''t on their registry. People are giving you gifts, you should be nothing but grateful and gracious about it, ya know?

In our circle I think people probably give gifts from the registry about half the time, and then the rest are either checks or off registry items.

 

[Independent Gal]

About 1/3 of our gifts were registry items, 1/2 were money, and the rest were non registry.

Non-registry items included:

- LOTS of picture frames
- a beautiful luscious luxiliscious leather bound picture album for our wedding photos
- art LOTS of art:

1) a diptych by FI's friend who is a very prominent and well-known conceptual artist. We loooooove it. It's visually very cheerful and interesting. Plus it has wonderful symbolic meaning for us too, since it reflects on variation, connection, similarity / individuality. The artist wrote a card that said "I hope these works stay together for as long as love has ever lasted."

2) a portrait of me (YIKES!) by another famous artist who is close friends with my parents - but this guy mostly does landscapes - not too conceptual! His works sell for 1000's (for wee ones) up to 10's of 1000's, but personally, I've never been a fan. Plus, it's super WEIRD to have a portrait of ME. I mean, what are we supposed to do with it? It's not like we can hang it.

3) a water-color by my dad's wife's mom. So not our style. We thought about donating it to a shelter or some such?

4) a 17th century framed woodcut (we like).

5) 18th century architectural drawings of the room where we were married (odd, but cool)

- limited edition ceramics from a funky store in Shanghai, where my friend lives, loooove them
- a trivet
- some Alessi serving platters
- a pair of two-way radios (from my brothers). I think this was supposed to be a joke. It fell pretty flat though.

etc.

So, overall we loved the off-registry stuff we got.

 

[CrownJewel]

Date: 5/29/2008 12:15:35 PM
Author: Haven


a tonne of baby stuff for ''Labor Day''! Ha, ha--my friend thought she was REALLY funny with that one. I had to declare ''I AM NOT PREGNANT!'' when I started opening that gift, and it took us a while to figure out her holiday.

Haha...that is really clever.

 

[CrownJewel]

Date: 5/29/2008 12:05:23 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Where I''m from (or at least my circle of friends & family), some people buy registry gifts for both the shower and the wedding (most people do buy a gift for each occasion--the shower gift is usually fairly inexpensive compared to the wedding gift). Oftentimes what I do (whether this is what I''m supposed to do or not) is, if I am very close with the couple, I will get them a big registry item for the wedding, but something personal from me for the shower. That way, they are happy because they get something practical off the registry, and I am happy because I dislike buying off registries and get to give a personalized (and sometimes also practical!) gift to them as well! But I have no idea about etiquette rules so maybe that is uncouth of me, I dunno.

Well Gwen, very little is uncouth in my book. Haha...maybe that''s because I also have no idea about etiquette rules!

 

[CrownJewel]

Indy, you got some coolio gifts there, lady! What are you going to do with the less attractive artwork? I would have a hard time giving it away. If you really MUST give something away, give your mom the Indy portrait. That way it''ll stay within the family, your mom would probably love it, and you won''t have to feel Portrait IndyGal staring you down everytime you relax in your living room.

 

[oobiecoo]

We got almost all registry gifts and money. These are the non-registry items:

Crystal "Marriage Bowl"... as long as the bowl is safe then your marriage will be good, or something like that. We really love it and its our only crystal piece!
Decorative plates... they are nice and pretty but just not my taste
Bridal or Wedding edition cookbooks... we recieved 2 and I thought it was really sweet since we both love to cook
Marriage Advice book... it belonged to my grandmother and my aunt passed it on to me the night before the wedding. I was completely shocked and love it!
lamp set... we do need lamps but these aren''t neccessarily my style. I''ll probably use them for a while at least... my best friend''s mom gave them to me so I don''t want to pack them away just yet.
glass goblets with platinum designs... pretty and we will probably use them. We definitely don''t need them though since we recieved a set of 12 already.
Magic Bullet... I always wanted one and FI wants to keep it, but we got a really nice blender so I just don''t think we need another appliance.

I think our favorite gifts have been the cash (not spent yet!), the crystal bowl, electronic trashcan, and a really awesome wall clock from our registry.

 

[AmberWaves]

We got almost all registry gifts for the shower and the wedding, but my favorite NON registry gift was at my shower. My cousins gave me a large steel bowl filled with bottles of lotions, creams and powders, all handmade and hand-bottled and labeled. It wasn''t so much the stuff, (minus one, I''ll explain in a sec) but it was because each bottle and container had a label with a picture of our late grandma smiling, and each label read: 100% Grandma Approved. It was such a happy day, and opening that gift seriously made me burst into tears. It was embarrassing how much I cried. I guess they knew how much I missed her, at that point in the planning. Even thinking about it now makes me tear up a bit.

It was probably the best gift I have ever been given for anything.

Now, the one item that did have significance in the gift was a bottle of rose-water spray. When we were kids, my cousin and I took some of our grandma''s rose lotion and mixed it with water and rose petals and tried to make it a perfume. I actually sold a bottle to a couple driving by!

Anyway, my cousins bottled that up for me for the shower. I can''t bring myself to use any of it, since the bottles make me smile, and I already got water on one of the labels!

 

[tberube]

Date: 5/29/2008 10:58:19 AM
Author: CrownJewel
I will start, because to this day, I feel a little guilty for this wedding faux pas that I committed years ago. It was the first American wedding that I had ever been invited to, and my college roomate told me that usually couples register at a store for gifts that they want. I looked through their registry, and since I was totally naive about wedding registries (why so many pots and pans? that''s not a fun gift. or so I thought back then), I decided I would get them something more personal. So I got them fancy books related to their professions, from a fancy bookstore.


I wrapped them and brought these 4 HEAVY books to their wedding. (faux pas number 2?) I thought I was so cool getting them something more interesting and personal than housewares and linens!


I worked with the groom, so a few months later when one of my high school friends got married, he asked me what I was getting her and where is she registered. I told him that I don''t know what to get them because everything on their registry is either housewares or linens

. He said, ''well it''s customary to either get something from their registry or give them money. Actually most couples prefer money.'' I guess that was his way of protecting me from future mistakes! Oops.

Well, you''re not alone, I''m guilty of such faux pas myself. Although I have no excuse, I guess, being that I''ve always lived in this country!!

I thought the same as you, that the registry didn''t have very fun or personal gifts in it, so I would put together something else that would be personal and pretty. Turns out those brides were probably none to thrilled with me for that. Now I know better....heh....and all those brides are probably attending my bridal shower! Maybe it''ll be payback time!!! Ha! Well, I deserve it!!

 

[lucy love]

We got everything off our registry at macy''s! We didn''t have much to start with since our place isn''t so big and we''re moving next year. I would say about 50% were gifts from our registry, 40% was monetary, 10% were not on my registry. That of course is just a rough estimate.

The non-registry things I received were things like:

1. an orange teapot (love it)
2. set of glass bowls in different sizes (they''re heavy, but very nice and useful)
3. flower cup & pitcher set (mmm.. not so much. thinking how i can get rid of it)
4. another cup & pitcher set (once again... give away?)
5. salad spinner (i have never used one, so i returned it)
6. large griddle (we actually got 2 of these, so we returned 1 of them)
7. spatulas/laddles/etc. (always useful to have extra)
8. laundry basket of household cleaning supplies (SO NEEDED and so neat!)
9. more stuff i can''t remember...

Most of the non-registry things we received were given to me at my 1st bridal shower. The 2nd bridal shower were mostly lingerie.