- Joined
- Jun 25, 2007
- Messages
- 3,160
So DH and I recently started seeing a therapist. The main goal was to proactively come up with solutions to help DD through the last few years of her teens. She just turned 15, DH is not her biological dad (BD is not in the picture) and we're about to have a baby. We really felt like we needed some *coaching*. What I've learned so far is that I parent almost entirely on fear and worry.
For example, I had DD at 17 and the thought of her *dating* makes me nauseaus - not just uncomfortable. In turn, DD does not feel comfortable talking to me about boys because she thinks she's doing something *wrong* because she can sense my discomfort. I really have put a lot of focus subconsciously on making sure she doesn't get pregnant as a teenager instead of really giving her the tools to make good decisions in general. I imposed so many rules on her out of my own fear that she really doesn't know how to make decisions on her own.
I'm definitely learning a lot from therapy but sure do wish I had done it sooner! This is going to be a long road to undue a lot of my mistakes.
For example, I had DD at 17 and the thought of her *dating* makes me nauseaus - not just uncomfortable. In turn, DD does not feel comfortable talking to me about boys because she thinks she's doing something *wrong* because she can sense my discomfort. I really have put a lot of focus subconsciously on making sure she doesn't get pregnant as a teenager instead of really giving her the tools to make good decisions in general. I imposed so many rules on her out of my own fear that she really doesn't know how to make decisions on her own.
I'm definitely learning a lot from therapy but sure do wish I had done it sooner! This is going to be a long road to undue a lot of my mistakes.