What Items Would You Cut for an Inexpensive Wedding

[Alybetter]

We cut the whole cost out by getting courthouse married. We took all that money we saved on wedding costs and used it to make a sizeable payment on our first house.

We had a lovely celebration with family up in the mountains.

I used to sell wedding packages at a beachfront resort and, after seeing all the expense, I sort of became dead set against it all, (for myself). Since my husband is a bonafide miser and lives a monk-like existence, he wholeheartedly agreed.

That said, I would cut band, cake, I would do my own minimalist centerpieces, and the whole thing would be laid back. Buffet, not plated. I would eschew the entire attire ideals as well, comfortable clothes, beach party type of thing.

 

[Elizabeth35]

Anything except the traditional suburban wedding. Church ceremony early afternoon and several hours with no place to go before the country club/banquet hall reception. They all have a one hour cocktail hour followed by a plated dinner and then DJ/band dancing. All a dreadful formula that takes up an entire day. And the food is usually marginal and the wine is always awful.

Do something smaller, more personal, shorter and with really good food and wine.
I have been to 2 weddings that were memorable. One was at 10 AM followed by champagne and waiter served hors d'oeuvres with a string trio in a lovely historical venue next door to the ceremony church. Served wedding cake before we left. Done by noon. Perfect.
Second was in a lofty industrial venue owned by a farm to table caterer. Champagne when you entered, then ceremony in one room, wine and beer in another room after with waiter passed appetizers. No hard liquor but really nice wine and beers. Followed by dinner served family style of the best wedding food I have had. Salmon,beef (not that awful thin stuff in gravy), and chicken, with awesome fresh roasted organic vegetables, fresh baked breads, etc. It was like dining in a nice restaurant and you could eat what you chose in the portions you like. All farm to table fantastic food. Plus it was a small wedding so everyone was family or close friends so really celebratory.

I would reduce the size and increase the quality. Favors---skip them because nobody really cares.
So my recommendation is to do something non-traditional. Skip the all day hoopla and do something intimate, but beautiful.
Absolutely no cash bar and for the love of god, do not allow the bar to put out a tip jar. That is the ultimate in tacky when you are the host.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Agree.

Cut down on how the food is served by not having a sit down waiter-serviced meal in an expensive venue, and opt for self-service with good food instead.

DK

A Mickey D's Happy Meal for all the attendees.

 

[GoldenTouch]

I love casual weddings & don’t understand big over the top affairs (I have attended many & enjoyed them but I wouldn’t want it for myself)
When I was married we got married at our home. I didn’t want a venue wedding. I would not of liked people I don’t know stopping for a look.
We lived on 4 acres at the time. We spent money in the huge back yard where the reception was (retaining wall, new pavers, turf & plants - all DIY). We enjoyed that area for YEARS.

My mother wrote our invitations.
A friend took our photos.
A friend played music at the ceremony & he and some of his friends took turns to do individual sets. That was a gift.
the bar & dance floor were set up in a new 5 bay shed. Plenty of room. I bought CHEAP fabric and lined the walls. Looked amazing,
Roof filled with helium balloons.
My friend (who has done my hair for 35 years) did my hair as a gift. She also made our wedding cake (& two others to serve as desert)
I didn’t do heaps of flowered (just a spray of lilies) I could of done my own as I trained when young to be a florist - but it wasn’t important to me.
my dress was $250.00. I was very small at the time & needed a lightweight dress & I’m not a tizzy person. A friend hand beaded sections as a gift. Beautiful! My x husband bought his suit ($$$). His ring was very $$$ as well.
my 18ct gold band was $140 - (marked incorrectly at the jewellers - bargain! I only wanted a plain band.
my stepdaughters dress was made as a gift.
Our catering was done buffet style from our local hospital. It was fantastic & not expensive. The apprentices need to do “fancy” food as part of their qualifications so this is how they do it for assessment. They set it all up & took it away. All dressed beautifully. Everyone thought we had paid expensive caters.
We had a wine tasting with family & friends a few weeks before. My uncle bought the wine & covered up the labels. People voted on their 2 favourite whites, favourite “bubbles” & two favourite reds - which happened to be the cheapest!! One was only $5.00 a bottle…. & we had lots of wine snobs attending & no one knew they were drinking cheap wine. I still find that funny.
My dad’s friends ran the bar we set up taking turns. Dad bought kegs of beer. Glasses provided by dad’s local barman (he was a guest).
I bought my sisters dress- but she chose it (twice the price of mine).
Best man wore a suit he owned. We had a jumping castle for the children which cost more than the person who officiated the wedding.
It was a lovely day - pity the marriage couldn’t last.

 

[Queenie60]

I would cut the guest list. I love elegance and would rather have fewer with quality.

 

[lambskin]

The bulk of our wedding expense was on the engagement ring ( my priority)and the honeymoon ( his priority). Was married on a Friday early afternoon -immediate family only, lace dress from reduced rack $75 from Lord &Taylor after 5 shop, one bridesmaid who wore a dress from another wedding. Hubby had tux custom made abroad and has worn it for years thereafter. Reception at parents’ house…no limo… mom and I cooked.Wedding Cake was custom bakery made and flowers were silk from Michael’s. Bouquets made by Michael’s. Photographer hired to take photos but gave me the rolls for my own processing. Was on plane headed to France, Africa, Seychelles, Mauritius, Reunion and Madagascar that night for honeymoon. Been happy with engagement ring and have never re set it and been married for 33 years! Hardly look at photos…Absolutely no regrets!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Daisy, just wanted to let you know the Stone Pony is up and running and having concerts. Please excuse the thread jack Annette. Thanks.

Normality is alnost within reach

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I love casual weddings & don’t understand big over the top affairs (I have attended many & enjoyed them but I wouldn’t want it for myself)
When I was married we got married at our home. I didn’t want a venue wedding. I would not of liked people I don’t know stopping for a look.
We lived on 4 acres at the time. We spent money in the huge back yard where the reception was (retaining wall, new pavers, turf & plants - all DIY). We enjoyed that area for YEARS.

My mother wrote our invitations.
A friend took our photos.
A friend played music at the ceremony & he and some of his friends took turns to do individual sets. That was a gift.
the bar & dance floor were set up in a new 5 bay shed. Plenty of room. I bought CHEAP fabric and lined the walls. Looked amazing,
Roof filled with helium balloons.
My friend (who has done my hair for 35 years) did my hair as a gift. She also made our wedding cake (& two others to serve as desert)
I didn’t do heaps of flowered (just a spray of lilies) I could of done my own as I trained when young to be a florist - but it wasn’t important to me.
my dress was $250.00. I was very small at the time & needed a lightweight dress & I’m not a tizzy person. A friend hand beaded sections as a gift. Beautiful! My x husband bought his suit ($$$). His ring was very $$$ as well.
my 18ct gold band was $140 - (marked incorrectly at the jewellers - bargain! I only wanted a plain band.
my stepdaughters dress was made as a gift.
Our catering was done buffet style from our local hospital. It was fantastic & not expensive. The apprentices need to do “fancy” food as part of their qualifications so this is how they do it for assessment. They set it all up & took it away. All dressed beautifully. Everyone thought we had paid expensive caters.
We had a wine tasting with family & friends a few weeks before. My uncle bought the wine & covered up the labels. People voted on their 2 favourite whites, favourite “bubbles” & two favourite reds - which happened to be the cheapest!! One was only $5.00 a bottle…. & we had lots of wine snobs attending & no one knew they were drinking cheap wine. I still find that funny.
My dad’s friends ran the bar we set up taking turns. Dad bought kegs of beer. Glasses provided by dad’s local barman (he was a guest).
I bought my sisters dress- but she chose it (twice the price of mine).
Best man wore a suit he owned. We had a jumping castle for the children which cost more than the person who officiated the wedding.
It was a lovely day - pity the marriage couldn’t last.

That was the most awsome post
Till the end
But nice to look back on some of the good times and it sounded an awsome wedding

 

[qubitasaurus]

I think get married in a restaurant, the food is needed anyway so you'll end up either with catering or a restaurant as some part of the proceedings. Venue and catering turns out to be the dominent cost, so it makes sense to look straight up at that cost first. Most of the rest of it is unneccessary, flowers, band vs someone playing songs from a laptop, save the dates, accessories/hair clips/jewelery/shoes/decorations arround the getting ready location/robes almost everything in this preceremony category, actually arent likely to change/contribute towards your lasting impression of the day. I garauntee you, that no one else remembers it nearly as impactfully as you -- so it defintiely doesn't long term register for everyone else.

I did notice that if it got to any size at all, then people appreciated decent food, ability to chose where they sat with enough room and freedom to move table to table, some wine/champagne, and someone making annoucements/mc-ing. I wouldn't have neccessarily identified all of these is critical at the outset, but they were actually quite important to how smoothly/relaxed the event ran.

Photographer is nice, I dont think more than one is necessary though.

 

[GoldenTouch]

That was the most awsome post
Till the end
But nice to look back on some of the good times and it sounded an awsome wedding

Yes… some good things come to an end…. mind you it wasn’t good in the end sadly.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

This will make me unpopular. I love Jamblyas idea with one exception. NO Children. I have been to weddings like this in my church when I was younger. It was nice. I always think parents need a rest from children so they can socialize without being pestered by them. Let the parents relax, enjoy a home cooked meal in peace.

Of course there is always that parent who refuses to go anywhere without their children. Don't invite them. They usually have at least 4 kids.

Unpupular poster,

Annette

 

[kenny]

Hi,

This will make me unpopular. I love Jamblyas idea with one exception. NO Children. I have been to weddings like this in my church when I was younger. It was nice. I always think parents need a rest from children so they can socialize without being pestered by them. Let the parents relax, enjoy a home cooked meal in peace.

Of course there is always that parent who refuses to go anywhere without their children. Don't invite them. They usually have at least 4 kids.

Unpupular poster,

Annette

Prioritizing one's popularity is unpopular with me.
Those who are, rather, unashamedly true to themselves, and others, are popular with me.

 

[Arcadian]

we had our wedding on my lunch break (it was a longer than normal lunch break ) Heck yes I went back to work a married woman! We did of course have witnesses (only 2) and thats all that was really needed. People at work wondered what was up because I actually came in wearing a dress...that was something I NEVER did.

But we had one heck of a party afterwards...like few months after. We really did not need anything (had already been living together and had a house) we just wanted friends /family to be there and party it up. In lieu of gifts, we gave a list of charities near and dear to us. There were no real complaints about that (only a few ignored it and got gifts anyway) The wedding was maybe 200 dollars (yes I'll include my dress in there...lol) The party was more (of course!) But it was good money spent.

I figured if my parents could get married at the courthouse, it couldn't be all that bad right? He asked what I wanted and thats what I wanted.

I would totally do it over again. Keep It Super Simple, courthouse wedding with only the mandatory witnesses. Hell of a party afterward.

 

[bludiva]

Hi,

This will make me unpopular. I love Jamblyas idea with one exception. NO Children. I have been to weddings like this in my church when I was younger. It was nice. I always think parents need a rest from children so they can socialize without being pestered by them. Let the parents relax, enjoy a home cooked meal in peace.

Of course there is always that parent who refuses to go anywhere without their children. Don't invite them. They usually have at least 4 kids.

Unpupular poster,

Annette

Lol the kids don’t want to go either!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Yes… some good things come to an end…. mind you it wasn’t good in the end sadly.

We need a hug 'like' option

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

You can have a beautiful wedding without spending a lot of money. I think the important things to splurge on are: dress, bride's hair and make-up, bouquet, photography, and food. Even these items can be done well on a budget or DIY. Everything else can be optional or done pretty inexpensively (venue, having a friend officiate, etc.)

I am a very practical person and definitely debated whether it was worth spending so much money on one day. DH and I decided to splurge since it was a once in a lifetime celebration. I'm so glad we did because it was a truly magical weekend!

 

[Jambalaya]

This will make me unpopular. I love Jamblyas idea with one exception. NO Children.

If I had a posh wedding - think formal sit-down dinner. gorgeous decorations, harpist and/or string quartet - then I would prefer not to have children there. However, apparently the no-children clause on wedding invites is the fastest way to cause a massive bunch of arguments with people you otherwise love.

When going the non-posh, down-home route, I'd be fine with children there, causing a ruckus. I'd see it as a family occasion, and since we wouldn't be going posh, having the children running about would be OK with me (but not in the church).

Now that I come to think about it, I'd love to have my reception in a barn surrounded by bales of hay, and music/dancing like this. Kids would be welcome!

This is my ideal wedding reception:

 

[GoldenTouch]

If I had a posh wedding - think formal sit-down dinner. gorgeous decorations, harpist and/or string quartet - then I would prefer not to have children there. However, apparently the no-children clause on wedding invites is the fastest way to cause a massive bunch of arguments with people you otherwise love.

When going the non-posh, down-home route, I'd be fine with children there, causing a ruckus. I'd see it as a family occasion, and since we wouldn't be going posh, having the children running about would be OK with me (but not in the church).

Now that I come to think about it, I'd love to have my reception in a barn surrounded by bales of hay, and music/dancing like this. Kids would be welcome!

This is my ideal wedding reception:

We had children at our casual wedding (my stepdaughter was 3.5). We had lots of people there & had a jumping castle set up. No ruckus- just lots of fun for them.
I agree no children to a full sit down “stuffy” affair - to boring for them!