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What is the most extravagant/OTT/luxurious wedding you've ever attended, and how much do you estimate it cost?

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AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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Apr 22, 2020
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My friend is a wedding planner and we're just entering wedding season here in India so we got to chatting, and discussed what I consider the most luxurious wedding I've ever attended - held in a literal palace converted into a hotel over 3 days; the couple hosted all of their guests (and they had so many guests there weren't any rooms left at the palace so they had to book another 5-star hotel nearby to host the spillover); the couple wore high-end designer wear (I estimate the bride's outfits would've cost upwards of $20k); the most spectacular bridal jewelry (all real, I would guess all total worth close to $175-200k including her 5ct MRB engagement ring); open bar with top-shelf liquor; fantastic food (with chefs flown in from around the country); wedding favours made out of silver that would've cost at least $100 each (I found that the most extravagant detail, tbh); and even the smallest details taken care of (for eg the couple hired assistants to help guests drape their outfits properly, covered by the couple). According to my friend, that wedding likely cost upwards of ~$500k. I will never forget that experience.

I'd love to hear any wild stories if you have any!
 
Avondale said:
As if anyone would be able to top that! :lol:
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I’ll take any cool stories! I don’t know why but wedding content is like my crack cocaine :lol:

Also I’m pretty sure my wedding planner friend could top that. She told me she worked on a wedding where they spent $250k on decor alone :lol: but getting the professional to tell stories feels like cheating!
 
well my sister had three bridesmaids (and not me) but i thought three was way over the top
i think a lot depends on local culture and traditions
 
It was years ago when I went to one of my cousin's wedding, and was about 15/16yo at the time.

He was the only son, and his mother decided pushed the boat out and invited many friends and relatives (my dad's family was big in terms of the number of siblings).

Typical of a HK Chinese wedding banquet with big round tables, and each table had a bottle of Martell Cordon Bleu Cognac and a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label to start with, replenishments and all the drinks were FOC.

Before the banquet, there were quite a few attendees who played mahjong in the afternoon after the morning's wedding ceremony.

Can't remember what was on the menu, however, I remember fondly the whole suckling pig (my dad and a couple of other uncles on the same table requested for some of the pig's carcass to take home), and also remember my mum and dad commented afterwards in private that the menu included some cheaper dishes to compensate for the more expensive ones.

I remember seeing some nice jewellery, and my dad even wore a suit (he seldom wore suits as he disliked wearing long trousers).

No clue how much it would have cost, however, according to my dad who was close to the father of the groom who was his younger brother by about a year, it was quite a lot

DK :))
 
dk168 said:
It was years ago when I went to one of my cousin's wedding, and was about 15/16yo at the time.

He was the only son, and his mother decided pushed the boat out and invited many friends and relatives (my dad's family was big in terms of the number of siblings).

Typical of a HK Chinese wedding banquet with big round tables, and each table had a bottle of Martell Cordon Bleu Cognac and a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label to start with, replenishments and all the drinks were FOC.

Before the banquet, there were quite a few attendees who played mahjong in the afternoon after the morning's wedding ceremony.

Can't remember what was on the menu, however, I remember fondly the whole suckling pig (my dad and a couple of other uncles on the same table requested for some of the pig's carcass to take home), and also remember my mum and dad commented afterwards in private that the menu included some cheaper dishes to compensate for the more expensive ones.

I remember seeing some nice jewellery, and my dad even wore a suit (he seldom wore suits as he disliked wearing long trousers).

No clue how much it would have cost, however, according to my dad who was close to the father of the groom who was his younger brother by about a year, it was quite a lot

DK :))
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that's funny about your dad but sounds like a fun memory of a family occasion with your parents

my sister's wedding looked very expensive
we got lost leaving the accomidation as no one waited for us plus we were out of towners
when we got there we thought we were at the wrong place as we knew no one
im pretty basic, i had never seen those big rounds of bri cheese before, there was this roast beef that was cut as thick as a steak, we had to leave early in the morning so mum got us a couple of plates for breakfast, i grabbed a couple of the cheese wheels me thinking as it was my inheritance !!!
 
The most expensive wedding I've been to was my cousin's. She married a guy from a pretty well off family. They flew their guests over from Singapore/Malaysia etc.

Usually the tea ceremony is for close family. So for the "tea ceremony" we had them offer everyone in the family tea and then had a 10 course banquet for about 300 guests (this was not the real wedding). It was open bar and had expensive liquor that I can't remember what they were because my sister and I got too drunk we didn't even make it back to the hotel room. My poor husband had to drag both of us back.

The next day was the real wedding reception. This time it was for 500+ guests and everything was all paid for by my cousin's in laws. They were gifted Rolex's for their wedding gifts and even had fireworks and an ice cream truck!

I mean it was nothing compared to @AllAboardTheBlingTrain but it was one of the top weddings I've been to!
 
Quotes aren't working properly for me anymore so I'll just tag you guys instead in my replies!

@Daisys and Diamonds I still don't know what a bridesmaid does other than stand next to the bride and attend a bachelorette, we don't really have that concept in our weddings and that's all I've seen bridesmaids do, haha. Also cheese is life, good on you! Brie and roast beef sounds amazing!

@dk168 I've attended one Chinese wedding banquet before, it is such an incredible experience! The FOOOOOOOD! I am drooling!

@maryjane04 I can't imagine what two banquets must've cost, especially for THAT many guests. To say nothing of the cost of flying their guests from Singapore/Malaysia to the US! That's a few thousand per guest, easy. Also, the idea of an ice cream truck has me dying, I would've loved to have been at that wedding and satisfied my childhood dream of eating allllll the ice cream I want from the truck :D
 
@AllAboardTheBlingTrain we're in Aus so a bit closer to Malaysia/Singapore. So apparently my cousin wanted to recreate their first date which was eating ice cream whilst watching fireworks haha it was really amazing!! And no expense was spared. They had this 7 tier wedding cake that I was dying to eat but instead it was a faux cake and they already had desserts planned but that cake... Lol I just want cake (most Asian weddings I've been to have never served wedding cake).
 
maryjane04 said:
@AllAboardTheBlingTrain we're in Aus so a bit closer to Malaysia/Singapore. So apparently my cousin wanted to recreate their first date which was eating ice cream whilst watching fireworks haha it was really amazing!! And no expense was spared. They had this 7 tier wedding cake that I was dying to eat but instead it was a faux cake and they already had desserts planned but that cake... Lol I just want cake (most Asian weddings I've been to have never served wedding cake).
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I love that your cousin wanted to recreate her first date - details like that are so special and imo really make a wedding memorable (even more than just lavishness does). Indians don't traditionally do cake either (though nowadays of course couples do) so I must admit that extravagant wedding cakes always amaze me :D
 
I'm in the U.S. and have only been to weddings here, but in my experience, a lot depends on what part of the country they are in. When I lived in the South, a lot of the weddings were garden type, outdoor weddings, in the daytime, while in other places, they are held indoors in the evening. This is regardless of ability to pay more, or less. I have to say, that most of the evening weddings I've been to seem a bit more elaborate than the daytime weddings, but other than that, all have been very nice. Although I have been to some where there was a cash bar, which was very foreign to me. I remember the first time I saw that, neither my husband nor I had brought much cash, not expecting to be buying drinks. Most though are open bar. I've never been to anything as elaborate as what a few here have described.
 
This goes back a bit but I was raised in the South. I remember when most weddings were held in the church and a reception was held in the church basement. It consisted of cake, coffee and Jordan almonds! Since then, weddings became ‘events’ to be celebrated with food, drinks and music. Neither is bad but definitely different. The wedding industry - dresses, flowers, reception venues, etc. have exploded with lots of money being spent. Proposals were not formal things back then, mothers gave birth with no expectation of a push present, and people got married without breaking the bank. My, my how things have changed! Elegant weddings are fun though and it is always nice to be treated to all of their pageantry!
 
The most expensive, OTT wedding is my cousin's SECOND wedding (black tie event), at the Ritz Carlton in Santa Barbara. Since none of the bride or groom's family are from Santa Barbara, we all had to fly/drive in from different parts of the world, and they paid for immediate family to stay with them at the Ritz Carlton and paid for a few babysitters to watch the kids so that they could have an "adult" only reception . My parents, husband an I drove 3.5 hours and stayed at a nearby beachside Marriot, which was still very pricey. The wedding, cocktails and and reception was attended by about 400 guests, and since it was open bar with top shelf liquor (and my cousin family, friends are all borderline/full alcoholics), I couldn't even imagine what the total cost of the wedding was!

It was the bride's first wedding and she was in her mid-30's and is a partner at a law firm....so would like to think that she paid for the wedding of her dreams since my cousin's first wife took him to the cleaners when they divorced!
 
Lookinagain said:
I'm in the U.S. and have only been to weddings here, but in my experience, a lot depends on what part of the country they are in. When I lived in the South, a lot of the weddings were garden type, outdoor weddings, in the daytime, while in other places, they are held indoors in the evening. This is regardless of ability to pay more, or less. I have to say, that most of the evening weddings I've been to seem a bit more elaborate than the daytime weddings, but other than that, all have been very nice. Although I have been to some where there was a cash bar, which was very foreign to me. I remember the first time I saw that, neither my husband nor I had brought much cash, not expecting to be buying drinks. Most though are open bar. I've never been to anything as elaborate as what a few here have described.
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I've never seen a cash bar either. Considering how tiny clutches are I'd have to be a teetotaller at a cash bar wedding!

I feel like evening weddings are usually more expensive generally as well, because people also tend to consume more alcohol, and you need to spend more money on lighting etc.

MissGotRocks said:
This goes back a bit but I was raised in the South. I remember when most weddings were held in the church and a reception was held in the church basement. It consisted of cake, coffee and Jordan almonds! Since then, weddings became ‘events’ to be celebrated with food, drinks and music. Neither is bad but definitely different. The wedding industry - dresses, flowers, reception venues, etc. have exploded with lots of money being spent. Proposals were not formal things back then, mothers gave birth with no expectation of a push present, and people got married without breaking the bank. My, my how things have changed! Elegant weddings are fun though and it is always nice to be treated to all of their pageantry!
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I was actually talking to my mom about this as well, according to her weddings back in the day were longer but less extravagant in terms of expectations. Like, back in the day, no one wore designer clothing, food was much simpler, entertainment was just piped music or family members singing and dancing; it was more about the religious aspect of getting a couple married. Nowadays people hire professional choreographers to train their guests into doing a well rehearsed dance performance, sometimes complete with props or even professional backup dancers (in really OTT cases); and no one really cares about the wedding part of the wedding :D

jaysonsmom said:
The most expensive, OTT wedding is my cousin's SECOND wedding (black tie event), at the Ritz Carlton in Santa Barbara. Since none of the bride or groom's family are from Santa Barbara, we all had to fly/drive in from different parts of the world, and they paid for immediate family to stay with them at the Ritz Carlton and paid for a few babysitters to watch the kids so that they could have an "adult" only reception . My parents, husband an I drove 3.5 hours and stayed at a nearby beachside Marriot, which was still very pricey. The wedding, cocktails and and reception was attended by about 400 guests, and since it was open bar with top shelf liquor (and my cousin family, friends are all borderline/full alcoholics), I couldn't even imagine what the total cost of the wedding was!

It was the bride's first wedding and she was in her mid-30's and is a partner at a law firm....so would like to think that she paid for the wedding of her dreams since my cousin's first wife took him to the cleaners when they divorced!
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oooh this wedding sounds fabulous! And yeah, food and booze is a real killer - must've been wildly expensive for 400 guests!!
 
Oh I have another wedding lol it's not grand in the whole scheme of things but it was pretty grand for 20 people lol.

Here's my wedding reception.

received_10155207547790957.jpeg

This was only one room in the entire palace that was booked not including the gardens.
 
I live in South East Asia, and local culture favours big weddings.

I actually haven't been too many, as most of my friends have had small civil ceremonies and just went to drink in a bar (theyre not local and weddings are often abruptly bought forward by someone needing a visa). But the few local weddings I have seen I always get blown away by the number of events. There's usually a civil ceremony, a tea ceremony if either side has chinese heritage, a temple blessing, a mehndi if either side has indian heritage, a local wedding with at least 100 guests, then an international destination wedding with a beach ceremony and potentially events the day beforehand and afterwards. Because of the need for so many events, people take about 3 months worth of ceremonies to get married.

Being a complete simpleton I think when I first started turning up to these I asked why/was it all needed as my culture has one wedding and then it's done . Ofcourse this went down like a tone of bricks.
 
maryjane04 said:
Oh I have another wedding lol it's not grand in the whole scheme of things but it was pretty grand for 20 people lol.

Here's my wedding reception.

received_10155207547790957.jpeg

This was only one room in the entire palace that was booked not including the gardens.
Click to expand...

I think I'd lay down flat on the floor just to stare at that ceiling all night!!! This was your wedding?? It's incredible (my compliments) and DEFINITELY qualifies for extravagant in the best way :D

So so so gorgeous! I can't wrap my head around it!!
 
qubitasaurus said:
I live in South East Asia, and local culture favours big weddings.

I actually haven't been too many, as most of my friends have had small civil ceremonies and just went to drink in a bar (theyre not local and weddings are often abruptly bought forward by someone needing a visa). But the few local weddings I have seen I always get blown away by the number of events. There's usually a civil ceremony, a tea ceremony if either side has chinese heritage, a temple blessing, a mehndi if either side has indian heritage, a local wedding with at least 100 guests, then an international destination wedding with a beach ceremony and potentially events the day beforehand and afterwards. Because of the need for so many events, people take about 3 months worth of ceremonies to get married.

Being a complete simpleton I think when I first started turning up to these I asked why/was it all needed as my culture has one wedding and then it's done . Ofcourse this went down like a tone of bricks.
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I think Asian culture definitely holds weddings to be a source of huge importance. The number of ceremonies and guests would usually outstrip the average western wedding. Just different strokes for different folks!

Though 3 months of ceremonies is WILD - I'm Indian and the longest wedding I ever attended was around 9 days!
 
I really love all this wedding talk!! I'm excited about weddings haha we just attended one over the wedding which was in the top #3 of most fun weddings I've been to! I am quite sad that after all the planning that's involved it's over in a few hours. I really hope that my wedding was memorable for those that attended.
 
AllAboardTheBlingTrain said:
I think Asian culture definitely holds weddings to be a source of huge importance. The number of ceremonies and guests would usually outstrip the average western wedding. Just different strokes for different folks!

Though 3 months of ceremonies is WILD - I'm Indian and the longest wedding I ever attended was around 9 days!
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I think it's because there's a few different ethnic cultures here. While I don't think they litterally intentionally repeat the wedding multiple times over for the different cultures, they end up effectually not being able to put all the different events into the same block of time -- I also suspect they dont want hena all over their big white western wedding, they want people who've traveled for the local ceremony to have a break before traveling again for the destination one etc. So they end up with ceremonies for the different cultural heritages scattered over the course of a few months.

Actually I didn't have great appreciation for the different cultures at all when I first went encountered this -- my reference point was my expatriate friends who all got married in the park, at the bbq pit of the condo, at the registry of marriages, or even in a car park. All weddings which needed to happen fast to meet a visa requirements for them to stay. I think I told a very stressed out friend that 'it is OK we can fix this by getting rid of most of those wedding dresses and some of those events!' As she tried to work out something like 4 wedding dresses and essential 3 completely different weddings. I actually had no reference point for the cultural expectations -- which I now realise were probably immense.
 
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@maryjane04 I'm sure your wedding was memorable for everyone who attended! I'm not engaged but I honestly am itching to plan a wedding lol. I love weddings.

@qubitasaurus oooh I misunderstood you. I thought you meant 3 months of daily back to back celebrations, which seemed... a lot haha. How you described it here makes a lot more sense :D
 
I know this deviates from the discussion a bit, but reading about all those weddings with hundreds of guests...

Here's the deal. My wedding barely had 50 people. It was a formal evening event but we only invited those closest to us. And even with those less than 50 people, it was so difficult to find time to pay attention to every one of the guests, to talk to everyone and spend time with everyone. 50 people is a lot.

What do people do with 400 guests? Surely, you end up not ever talking to most of them. They're just there... to look at you and eat the food you bought for them, and maybe dance a little. Doesn't that feel actually... bad?
 
Avondale said:
I know this deviates from the discussion a bit, but reading about all those weddings with hundreds of guests...

Here's the deal. My wedding barely had 50 people. It was a formal evening event but we only invited those closest to us. And even with those less than 50 people, it was so difficult to find time to pay attention to every one of the guests, to talk to everyone and spend time with everyone. 50 people is a lot.

What do people do with 400 guests? Surely, you end up not ever talking to most of them. They're just there... to look at you and eat the food you bought for them, and maybe dance a little. Doesn't that feel actually... bad?
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Lol I had 20 people and I felt the day went so fast I barely got time with everyone.

In saying that usually at Asian weddings the bride and groom take photos with the guests as they come into the reception and they would go and greet the tables (so 10 people per table) at time. Still pretty tough logistically and there's always something to complain about.
 
Avondale said:
I know this deviates from the discussion a bit, but reading about all those weddings with hundreds of guests...

Here's the deal. My wedding barely had 50 people. It was a formal evening event but we only invited those closest to us. And even with those less than 50 people, it was so difficult to find time to pay attention to every one of the guests, to talk to everyone and spend time with everyone. 50 people is a lot.

What do people do with 400 guests? Surely, you end up not ever talking to most of them. They're just there... to look at you and eat the food you bought for them, and maybe dance a little. Doesn't that feel actually... bad?
Click to expand...

Indian weddings usually have a reception line so you get a chance to meet all your guests for at least a couple mins (and get a picture together). The conversation is pretty standard too - “thank you so much for coming” “congratulations, you look beautiful. Such a lovely couple. This is for you” (hands gift) “oh thank you! You really didn’t need to!” “No no, of course I did” “we must get a picture” (picture is taken) “thank you again for coming! Please make sure you have dinner!”

And then rinse and repeat, ad nauseam :D

I think though, weddings in our culture are considered more about the families than the bride & groom, which is how you can accumulate 300+ guests. They’ll find some way to entertain themselves, and in the 2-3 days you see them, you’ll get a chance to spend at least a few mins with them if you play it right.
 
maryjane04 said:
Oh I have another wedding lol it's not grand in the whole scheme of things but it was pretty grand for 20 people lol.

Here's my wedding reception.

received_10155207547790957.jpeg

This was only one room in the entire palace that was booked not including the gardens.
Click to expand...
So spectacular! I couldn’t make the heart emoji work, only a “like” option was available. :kiss2::kiss2::kiss2: So here are some hearts. :D
 
One of the most fun weddings I've ever been to happened in San Diego. They chose a fabulous little old Art Deco hotel for their reception, and the bridal party and many of the out of town guests stayed there for the weekend. The hotel had a pool in the central courtyard, and during the cocktail hour, the couple had hired a group of synchronized swimmers to perform to entertain the guests. It was a really unique and memorable choice.
 
MissGotRocks said:
This goes back a bit but I was raised in the South. I remember when most weddings were held in the church and a reception was held in the church basement. It consisted of cake, coffee and Jordan almonds! Since then, weddings became ‘events’ to be celebrated with food, drinks and music. Neither is bad but definitely different. The wedding industry - dresses, flowers, reception venues, etc. have exploded with lots of money being spent. Proposals were not formal things back then, mothers gave birth with no expectation of a push present, and people got married without breaking the bank. My, my how things have changed! Elegant weddings are fun though and it is always nice to be treated to all of their pageantry!
Click to expand...

This is very much the culture I was raised in too. Very low key affairs.
 
Well it certainly wasn’t mine! I paid for the licences, which cost £12.50, we spent about £100 on drink, and probably less than that on food. I bought a Frank Usher dress that cost £89, which was not a wedding dress, it was the most I’d ever spent on a dress.

I couldn’t even begin to imagine spending a vast fortune on a wedding. We started off married life in our own home, with all new furniture and appliances.
 
I'm actually curious about many people saying they had very simple weddings. I also had a very simple one.

Do you ever wish you could go back and spend a bit more on your wedding? Or if you could go back now would you not change a thing?

My own wedding maybe cost ~12 k. For us at the time this was not chump change. But I live in what often ranks as the world's most expensive city-- worse than New York. So 12 k meant we simply did not do a lot of the usual wedding stuff. I remember using a standard excel wedding planning template, and congratulating myself on the fact that of the 7 sheets worth of content to fill and massive budget table I only needed to update like 10 rows of one sheet! Because we weren't doing any of the rest of it. In reality we had to cut a lot and run it more like a dinner to stay under 12 k -- most line items started at 5 k once you added the word wedding. Now life has moved on, and I pay like 36 k a year for one child's preschool and extra curricular activities (next year I'll have to start to also pay for the second one!). So I sometimes wonder as I sit on a household budget which is understandably pretty high (HCOL area + 2 kids) if I could go back would I have done a little more on this one day.
 
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