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What is the bridal shower for?

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laine

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I was having this discussion with my mom the other day. I said that most brides expect gifts off the registry, that its to "shower" the bride with things to start her new home. She said that when she was my age, bridal showers were to shower the bride with personal things for her, like nightgowns and such. She said it was never registry gifts, that that was for the wedding. She still prefers to buy off registry for showers. I suspect most brides don''t like that, but she''s a pretty good gift giver and always gives gift slips.

Anyway, I was wondering if this was a generational thing, a regional thing, a cultural thing or what? Any thoughts? What are showers for in your opinion?
 

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CrownJewel

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While I am far from an expert on the topic of bridal showers (see my other post "to have a registry or not"), I think most bridal showers are like you said, "to shower the bride with new things to start her new home." But I saw a thread on here about a lingerie shower. I believe it depends on what the hostess of the shower plans for you.

I would hate to have a lingerie shower because I already have enough, and I can''t imagine other people picking out clothing or undergarments of any kind for me, since style is a very personal choice.
 

VRBeauty

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Wedding showers were originally given, in lieu of a dowry, to help a new couple set up their households:

http://www.birthdayexpress.com/bexpress/planning/BridalShower.asp

I think lingerie showers are a relatively new phenom -- can you imagine anyone throwing lingerie showers back when people referred to "unmentionables" in polite company? On the other hand, many modern brides and grooms are combining households and just don''t need as much "stuff" to set up house, and a (girls only!) a lingerie shower can be a fun alternative. So I think it depends in part on the couple and their circumstances and preferences.

BTW you''re not the only one uncomfortable with the idea of a lingerie shower. Many years ago I was unable to make it to a lingerie shower thrown for a friend, so I share my gift with her over lunch later on. She really appreciated the silk shortie nightgown I gave her. She said no one had given her anything remotely sexy at her shower -- and her future mother-in-law had given her a full-length flannel nightgown!
 

fisherofmengirly

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There are different kinds of showers, and they are usually indicated on the invitation. My sister-in-law gave me a *nothing from the registry* shower when I was in Cali, because she wanted me to have things that made me feel like a "BRIDE," and not a wife yet. I got lotions, bubble baths, silky jammies, things to *pamper,* or have fun with. We did get a couple of things off the registry, but no pans or kitchen gadgets. My shower at work didn''t indicate what to do, so it was all registry items. Then we had a shower from my side of the family in this area of the country, and we had a COUPLE shower. We got things for the home, tools, that sort of thing, too. Paul loved that we finally had something similar to a *man* shower! Anyway, a shower can be whatever you want it to be. I had one cousin who did a *cash only* shower, but to some, that''s impolite and just not done. Whatever the invite says, you can do. Just be prepared for things you don''t expect, that don''t fall into any category you create. People don''t like to be tied down too much as to what they buy, I''ve seen.
 

laine

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I know that showers can be anything (I''ve been to a kitchen shower, a lingere shower, etc), but I was wondering what you would assume if there was no indication past "bridal shower" I thought it was interesting that I would assume registry stuff, while my mom would have assumed personal things. I was wondering if maybe the personal type showers were more common 30 years ago?
 

Maria D

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Laine, I don''t go to showers anymore but women that I know that do almost always buy something from the couple''s registry. Years ago I remember people giving both kinds of gifts; off the registry and personal. Registries were not as easy to do back before the days of computers and internet. A couple would register at a store but that store might not be convenient to all guests and there was no online shopping.

Here''s a question for you: if someone couldn''t make it (or didn''t want to come) to your shower but bought you a gift off the registry and sent it to you, how would you feel? Honored? Offended? Just plain happy to get the gift?

I''m just curious.....
 

sumbride

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My favorite is the "Honey-do" shower. I think it''s a southern thing because nobody up here seems to know anything about it. It''s a couples shower and you give items that might complete the sentence "Honey, will you do ________" like mow the lawn, do the dishes, cook dinner, fix the fence, etc... it''s sort of a practical shower but people have fun putting together theme presents. Of course, it also leaves room for racy gifts or pampering gifts too. It''s one of the few times I''ve enjoyed watching people open presents because you get the story along with it.
 

laine

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Feb 21, 2006
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Date: 11/22/2006 9:02:12 AM
Author: Maria D
Here''s a question for you: if someone couldn''t make it (or didn''t want to come) to your shower but bought you a gift off the registry and sent it to you, how would you feel? Honored? Offended? Just plain happy to get the gift?
Personally, I''d be honored that they thought of me and happy to get the gift. I sent a shower gift to a friend out of state (she didn''t expect me to come to the shower). She said she was rather shocked to see the package from us, and was thrilled that we had thought of her.

More limited registries in the past makes sense for why showers would have not been registry gifts. My mom mentioned she registered for china, silver, and crystal patterns, and "colors" for linens. That would have made for a very boring shower!


Sumbride---I love the sound of the honey-do shower. Its nice to include the whole couple, and I bet you see some really fun and creative, but also useful presents!
 
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