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What is the Bridal Shower for?

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Diamond Confused

Shiny_Rock
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Jan 14, 2008
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395
If i had a big engagement party, do i need a bridal shower? I''m not sure what the bridal shower is for. How is it different from a bachelorette (other than the raunchiness
) or an engagement party?
 

SailorsSweet<3

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
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The current trend seems to be engagement party for monetary gifts - bridal shower for houseware/registry/sexy underwear joke gifts - bachelorette party to let loose with your girls - and wedding comes full circle back to monetary gifts. Although, I've noticed the engagement party is more dependent on heritage and culture than social standard.

Personally, I'm a little uncomfortable with having an engagement party and a bridal party where gifts were expected at both. If they're going to be giving me gifts for the wedding I dont feel comfortable getting a gift for the engagement and the bridal shower.
 

dboatsupreme

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 9, 2009
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I am not sure what your engagement party entailed, but to my understanding, engagement party is mainly for the announcement of the engagement. Bridal showers are held by the bride''s close friends or family members, "showering" the bride-to-be since the new couple won''t have many household items to use in their marriage. :) A bachelorette party, held closer to the wedding, is kind of a "last hurrah" for the bride and her close friends, as they celebrate last moments of her singleness. Yay!
 

Diamond Confused

Shiny_Rock
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Date: 3/19/2009 8:38:41 PM
Author: SailorsSweetThe current trend seems to be engagement party for monetary gifts - bridal shower for houseware/registry/sexy underwear joke gifts - bachelorette party to let loose with your girls - and wedding comes full circle back to monetary gifts. Although, I''ve noticed the engagement party is more dependent on heritage and culture than social standard.

Personally, I''m a little uncomfortable with having an engagement party and a bridal party where gifts were expected at both. If they''re going to be giving me gifts for the wedding I dont feel comfortable getting a gift for the engagement and the bridal shower.
That''s exactly my concern. Everybody brought a generous gift to the engagement party. I feel like a bridal shower would just be asking for more presents.
 

Hudson_Hawk

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Nov 2, 2006
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10,541
Engagement parties are really not supposed to be a gift-giving event. They''re just to celebrate. Bridal showers are definitely gift giving events because the point was to help the bride and groom furnish their new house (which traditionally was purchased/rented after the wedding). The wedding is another gift giving event, but whether it''s monetary or physical present is up to the giver.
 

Haven

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 15, 2007
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13,166
Gifts are not expected at engagement parties, but they are expected at bridal showers because the purpose of a bridal shower is to "shower" the couple with gifts.

If you are uncomfortable with a shower, don''t have one. If your friends insist on throwing one, suggest a different sort where you all go out and do something, rather than sitting in a nice restaurant and opening gifts. I''ve been to a "shower" where we went to a trendy place downtown and all made our own handbags. Or, you could have high tea somewhere. Or attend a cooking class for the bride who can''t find her way to an oven.

If a couple or their parents throw an engagement party after the engagement has already been announced (which seems to say: Bring us gifts!), and people do bring gifts, I would find it interesting if they also have a shower. At that point, it does seem to be a bit much, especially if you are inviting the same people to both events. Ah, but such is the trend these days, so you won''t be alone if you choose to do this.
 

SarahLovesJS

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 2, 2008
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5,206
Well..I''m not expecting any raunchy gifts and would be offended honestly if anyone brought any. Believe it or not I''m not a prude however!
I had a medium sized engagement party, but asked people not to bring gifts..soooo for me the bridal shower is because it''ll be a nice chance to see everyone again before the wedding and it''ll be the first (and last place) for gifts before the wedding. But if you''re uncomfortable, you''re definitely not obligated!
 

elrohwen

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 20, 2008
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5,526
I''ll add to Haven''s awesome untraditional shower ideas. I didn''t register for household gifts because I really don''t need anything, so having a shower was a bit tricky. Since my family and FI''s family were getting together for Christmas, our moms decided on an ornament shower because one thing we do not have is ornaments! The women all brought really cute and different ornaments, and I''m sure nobody spent more than $20-30. It was really cute and untraditional and I loved it (we also only had maybe 5-7 guests, so keeping it really small was perfect for me; if everybody lived in the same place, we would''ve invited many more). Maybe you can think of some other cute idea where people can bring presents, but they are cheap and fun. If you just leave the present thing open ended, most people will just buy more stuff off of your registry (and possibly feel the need to spend a lot of money). I''ve also heard of kitchen utensil parties, where people bring spatulas and cheap useful suff like that.
 

katica

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 9, 2008
Messages
113
Well we''re having an engagement party tonight. It''s going to be 20 friends and us at a restaurant. We aren''t having this party in order to receive gifts at all, more like just a get together of our old friends (some of whom have not met each other) in order to celebrate the engagement and for some of our friends to meet each other before our wedding. That''s just us though and there''s nothing wrong with gifts at an engagement party. A shower is definitely for gifts though - I don''t know if I''m having one of those though.
 
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