What if you hate your coworker more than you like your job?

[sonnyjane]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

that sounds VERY positive on your end! You were proactive and discussed the matter in a (hopefully) constructive way - and how wonderful to learn that they see it too!! Her plan may just be foiled----I'm rooting for you as the new lead - yeah sonnyjane!!! (ok, a tad premature, but still, I'm hoping it works out well for you!)

Ha. Oh, don't worry. I am being VERY diplomatic in my discussion of her, because I've learned that being professional is key in situations like this. The funny thing is, I have no desire to be the interim lead - there is no supplemental pay - just supplemental responsibility. I'm just adamant that she NOT be it!

 

[Enerchi]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

....and that's motivation enough to go in to Thursday's meeting and put your best foot forward! It's not that there is a 'reward' for the role, its that you gain the experience from it.

And for the other shoulder where this person sits, , you get to lord it over her for the entire mat leave!!! Bwahhahahaha!

 

[sonnyjane]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

So.....here is my question...

The meeting is scheduled for Thursday morning, which is her "Monday". I have notes prepared for the meeting. Should I send her a text or email to let her know I've scheduled this meeting so that she has time to prepare her own thoughts?

 

[Enerchi]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

If you are currently a coworker and not her supervisor, I don't think it is mandatory. I think that should come from her supervisor/manager, not you.

But... not sure what the culture is in your work place. Can you ask your supervisor what is the best protocol - so she has a fair opportunity to express her concerns? (that alone, should put you in a good light - that you are willing to be equal and not take advantage of the situation!)

 

[sonnyjane]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

If you are currently a coworker and not her supervisor, I don't think it is mandatory. I think that should come from her supervisor/manager, not you.

But... not sure what the culture is in your work place. Can you ask your supervisor what is the best protocol - so she has a fair opportunity to express her concerns? (that alone, should put you in a good light - that you are willing to be equal and not take advantage of the situation!)

Good points. I have an unrelated meeting with the supervisor tomorrow so afterward I will ask him what he thinks I should do, and you're right, just asking should make me seem very fair indeed

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

I had an issue where I loved my job but had serious issues with my boss and the corporate culture...I left as soon as possible, ended up making a vertical move to a company I never had considered, and am so much happier I can't even begin to tell you!

Life is too short and work days are too long...

P.S. I was and basically still am the sole breadwinner for our family, we live in NYC, and the decision to leave was terrifying, but I am so glad that I did and in the future I would not hesitate to make a major change like that again, thoughtfully and intentionally, but seemingly crazy. Best.choice.ever!

 

[sonnyjane]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

I asked my supervisor if I should give the girl a head's up before 9:00 tomorrow so that she doesn't feel bombarded and he said no, that he prefers not to have people stress out about it ahead of time and to go off of "raw emotion" lolol. I'm oddly looking forward to this! I'll post the recap tomorrow after work!

 

[GliderPoss]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

Ok so a few thoughts:

Firstly fingers crossed for tomorrow's meeting - hope it goes well and you are rewarded with the Acting Lead role.

BUT also to be honest it does sound a bit like a personality clash which can be difficult! You sound very much a "loner" of sorts and prefer to work on your own/get on with it etc and perhaps this lady is more sociable? Viewing it from the other side maybe she finds you prickly and awkward eg. wont even chat at lunch! I've worked with somone like that and it was painful for both sides.

Stop advising her on her mistakes - that is your bosses job not yours! If she is hopeless -he/she needs to sort this out. I realise she needs to practically die on the job to get fired (this is why I hate unions) but it's not your problem.

Honest opinion - get your big girl pants on and deal with it if you love the job enough. Don't let someone else force you out of it!

 

[sonnyjane]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

Well, no scratches or bruises, no punches were thrown. She cried three times but that's about it. It was civil and professional. They basically said they have decided not to name anyone as lead in the interim (fine by me) to avoid tension. We also decided that this girl, from this point on, needs to give me space and privacy. We are also going to work on evenly splitting the work load. As of now, it's just "let's all keep working until it's done" but that has left me doing most the work since I am more efficient. This way, if I finish early, I'll have time for projects etc. and she will still have to do her half regardless of how slow she works. Overall I'm happy. It's clear we still differ DRAMATICALLY but at least she will hopefully let me keep to myself.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

Well it sounds like it turned out OK, especially the part where she is NOT going to be the lead!

Hopefully this will resolve a lot of the issues and she really does just leave you alone to do your job. Plus, I bet it will be interesting to see how much more efficient she becomes when she doesn't have you to lean on!

 

[Enerchi]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

Sounds like a decent compromise - splitting of the work load and no one is 'favoured' over the other as a temp lead position. Are you comfortable with how the discussion ended? I wonder if from here on in, someone will be watching BOTH of your work loads? I would assume, if they can monitor the output of one, they could monitor the other too... Hoping that is not the case, but just be cautious in the event they do decide to see who's up to what!

I'm glad there were no scratches or bruises!

 

[partgypsy]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

Sounds like it was a good meeting. I know this sounds like a stupid question, but do they have an actual process in place to document who is doing what work, such as each of you turning in a spreadsheet at the end of each week to a supervisior to sign off on? Otherwise if there is no supervision, I can imagine it will slide back into former situation.

Just that I've been in meetings where something has been agreed, but no system in place to make sure it actually happens.

 

[sonnyjane]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

Sounds like it was a good meeting. I know this sounds like a stupid question, but do they have an actual process in place to document who is doing what work, such as each of you turning in a spreadsheet at the end of each week to a supervisior to sign off on? Otherwise if there is no supervision, I can imagine it will slide back into former situation.

Just that I've been in meetings where something has been agreed, but no system in place to make sure it actually happens.

We do manual labor so not really spreadsheet type stuff to sign off on, ya know? I agree that it might not stick, but in a sick way, I kind of hope it doesn't? What I mean is, this last meeting was neutral and we made some compromises. They said they will follow up with us in a month. If I keep up my end and she doesn't, then it will shift from being neutral to being against her. So best case, we both improve and things are better, but next best case is she doesn't change and finally can get reprimanded.

 

[crown1]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

yup, that is sick. if she does her job and leaves you alone that is what you wanted. i would think that would be the best for all involved. why wish for an unpleasant situation and her reprimand? none of my business, just sayin.

 

[sonnyjane]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

yup, that is sick. if she does her job and leaves you alone that is what you wanted. i would think that would be the best for all involved. why wish for an unpleasant situation and her reprimand? none of my business, just sayin.

Oh. There are parts I have left out of the story for posting purposes and also parts that I left out of our little 30 minute mediation session because frankly they wouldn't be professional to address at that time. Her doing more work and leaving me alone helps many things, but it doesn't solve those other issues that I haven't gone into, either here or with my managers. I can see how, not knowing the extent of it, I look bad, but this girl isn't disliked by me, my boss, and my other supervisors and peers by coincidence. It's just that, as I said earlier, we are part of a union which means it's extremely hard to take disciplinary action against someone. I'm hoping that if she doesn't improve, it will finally be a tangible example that can be used against her.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

I always think at work and in life its best to stay out of the drama. For me that would include feeling competitive with co-workers or wishing them ill. Whatever happened in the past. I think perhaps your own thinking about this and action are contributing to your expeirence. You can't control her, nor should you try. But you can control YOU. So perhaps focus on that and leave everything else to just go the way it goes.

 

[Imdanny]

Re: What if you hate your coworker more than you like your j

HI:

You love your job--that is very important. How many of us can say that?

And of course there is no guarantee leaving would provide happiness or satisfaction elsewhere.

You have been given good advice. Put on the rose colored glasses and be selective in what you hear and how you hear it. You'd be surprised what "your perspective" can do for your situation. You will be an asset to your organization (that may be recognized) because you can work well in less than ideal circumstances.

cheers--Sharon

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