What has been YOUR biggest wedding-planning headache so far?
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ephemery1
Brilliant_Rock
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Tough question! I voted for "appeasing everyone involved"... not because our parents have caused any horrible problems... but because the reality is when you''re not paying for the wedding yourselves, you can''t expect to have total control over everything. Especially the guestlist... I''d love a small, personal wedding (for me, that means ideally both FI and I would have at least met most of the guests before... I just don''t want to spend the most personal day of my life being introduced to random people!)... but our parents are paying, so I can''t reasonably argue about who they choose to invite.
There have been other headaches along the way... invitations, worrying about overspending, etc.... but the guestlist thing has probably been the one that has upset me most.
There have been other headaches along the way... invitations, worrying about overspending, etc.... but the guestlist thing has probably been the one that has upset me most.
luckystar112
Ideal_Rock
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I vote option #9: Getting the guy to freaking ask you already!!!!!
anchor31
Ideal_Rock
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Definitely appeasing everyone involved. I've been having to deal with:
- a freaked-out overprotective twin sister who's afraid she'll lose me to my marriage. It's better now, by the way, I just hopes it stays that way when we'll have to go dress shopping before she leaves next July for 12 months to Australia;
- evil and manipulative FILs who are intent on making their son as miserable as they are. I don't know if I ever told you about the grand they promised to give us for the wedding... well, they're not going to give it to us. I never believed they would, but poor J wanted to believe it... I hate them for doing this to him all the time;
- my mother, who's a total bridezilla even though she promised she wouldn't be because her own mother was one too. Am I really sure I want to wear a strapless dress? It doesn't look comfortable... I can't let my BMs pick their own dresses, what if they pick different dresses? BM can't wear different dresses, and they have to be floor-length! I can't dye my crinoline pale blue to match my dress, we'll see it in the pictures! And the latest, I certainly cannot have an open bar (beer, wine and soft drinks) because people will drink too much and there will be accidents. As if people lose all common sense because it's a wedding...
Anyway, no matter what she says, I will be wearing a strapless dress, I am letting my BMs pick their dresses (and I don't care if they're different, I'm just picking the colour), I will dye my crinoline (off course we'll see it in the pics, that's the point!) and I will be having an open bar.
The guest list has also been a nightmare... But it's at 90 now and it will stay that way!
The rest has been going amazingly well. Finding our venues, photographer, musicians (ceremony and reception), baker and other vendors... easy as proverbial pie.
- a freaked-out overprotective twin sister who's afraid she'll lose me to my marriage. It's better now, by the way, I just hopes it stays that way when we'll have to go dress shopping before she leaves next July for 12 months to Australia;
- evil and manipulative FILs who are intent on making their son as miserable as they are. I don't know if I ever told you about the grand they promised to give us for the wedding... well, they're not going to give it to us. I never believed they would, but poor J wanted to believe it... I hate them for doing this to him all the time;
- my mother, who's a total bridezilla even though she promised she wouldn't be because her own mother was one too. Am I really sure I want to wear a strapless dress? It doesn't look comfortable... I can't let my BMs pick their own dresses, what if they pick different dresses? BM can't wear different dresses, and they have to be floor-length! I can't dye my crinoline pale blue to match my dress, we'll see it in the pictures! And the latest, I certainly cannot have an open bar (beer, wine and soft drinks) because people will drink too much and there will be accidents. As if people lose all common sense because it's a wedding...
The guest list has also been a nightmare... But it's at 90 now and it will stay that way!
The rest has been going amazingly well. Finding our venues, photographer, musicians (ceremony and reception), baker and other vendors... easy as proverbial pie.
Maisie
Super_Ideal_Rock
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I''m already married but if its ok I will chime in
With us it was our budget. I think we seriously underestimated how much things would cost so we kept on spending more and more and more! We ended up spending double what we planned on. We had a loan - maxed out credit cards and used our over draft too!!
Was worth it though!
Maisie
With us it was our budget. I think we seriously underestimated how much things would cost so we kept on spending more and more and more! We ended up spending double what we planned on. We had a loan - maxed out credit cards and used our over draft too!!
Was worth it though!
Maisie
Jaders731
Brilliant_Rock
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With us... it was appeasing everyone.. but not in the sense of who wants what.. but more of travel and accomodations... (more accomodations than anything.. )
We rented cottages (large ones) for family and friends to stay in... we rented enough for 36 people.. and barely got half of that to actually stay in them... and then the people who did want to... didnt want to stay here.. or didnt want to share with so and so... um... YOU ARENT PAYING FOR IT.. QUIT YOUR GRIPING!!! ughh.. can you tell that I''m a little stressed about it.. LOL
eh.. either way. its all settled now.. but I would NEVER ever play travel agent again... fend for yourselves.. thats my new motto!!!
We rented cottages (large ones) for family and friends to stay in... we rented enough for 36 people.. and barely got half of that to actually stay in them... and then the people who did want to... didnt want to stay here.. or didnt want to share with so and so... um... YOU ARENT PAYING FOR IT.. QUIT YOUR GRIPING!!! ughh.. can you tell that I''m a little stressed about it.. LOL
eh.. either way. its all settled now.. but I would NEVER ever play travel agent again... fend for yourselves.. thats my new motto!!!
sumbride
Ideal_Rock
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Jaders- I like your new motto!
I voted for appeasing everyone, but I''m not really trying that hard. I realize there are certain people in our lives that are never going to be completely happy with any decision we make, so I''m focusing on those that matter (FI and ME) and those that are paying (my parents). Luckily I''m not getting too much grief about it yet, but I imagine that will change as it gets closer. I definitely believe the saying that "You can''t please everyone" and I''m going to remind myself of that when I start to try.
I voted for appeasing everyone, but I''m not really trying that hard. I realize there are certain people in our lives that are never going to be completely happy with any decision we make, so I''m focusing on those that matter (FI and ME) and those that are paying (my parents). Luckily I''m not getting too much grief about it yet, but I imagine that will change as it gets closer. I definitely believe the saying that "You can''t please everyone" and I''m going to remind myself of that when I start to try.
Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
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well, since i still haven''t chosen a site then I went for choosing a venue!!!!!. We have narrowed it down to Florida (South Florida). The West Coast is still an option but not so much anymore....
This is so confusing! I just want to choose a site and get it over with so I can start the otehr things!!!!!
So, it''s frustrating to not find anything yet that I love!! (and that FI loves too!)
M~
This is so confusing! I just want to choose a site and get it over with so I can start the otehr things!!!!!
So, it''s frustrating to not find anything yet that I love!! (and that FI loves too!)
M~
Pandora II
Ideal_Rock
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That would make me so mad Musey. I''m the sort of person who would go and have a wedding on some remote island with just FI and two random witnesses dragged off the beach if someone did that to me.
Luckily FI''s mother is positively saint like and his father doesn''t interfere either. My father is difficult because he''s paying - but in a weird way, he''s worried about things being done properly and that they won''t be if we don''t spend enough and then worries about what it all costs.
However, he loves things like the battery operated candles I found - very odd. And he likes my stationery choice because the owner of the company is an ex-naval submarine commander. Whatever keeps him happy - I''m happy.
My nightmare is the guest-list as I have lots of people who I don''t want to be there who HAVE to be there and equally lots of people I''d love to be there and won''t have space for.
Luckily FI''s mother is positively saint like and his father doesn''t interfere either. My father is difficult because he''s paying - but in a weird way, he''s worried about things being done properly and that they won''t be if we don''t spend enough and then worries about what it all costs.
However, he loves things like the battery operated candles I found - very odd. And he likes my stationery choice because the owner of the company is an ex-naval submarine commander. Whatever keeps him happy - I''m happy.
My nightmare is the guest-list as I have lots of people who I don''t want to be there who HAVE to be there and equally lots of people I''d love to be there and won''t have space for.
firebirdgold
Ideal_Rock
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It was a close call between dress and location for me.
How I would look on my wedding day and in the photos was probably my biggest fear and I had a lot of trouble finding THE dress. Of course it was my own [email protected]## fault for not losing weight or getting into better shape.
Although the dress caused more tears and anxiety, picking a location narrowly missed being a giant family-discord causing pain in the ass. It seemed like almost all of them was going to make someone unhappy.. by the time we got engaged the whole thing was rapidly turning into a migraine level headache.
Thankfully his sister was getting married that september and DH got a front row seat for all the drama. It was his idea to have a wedding with just our immediate family and no one else. So Hawaii was the only logical choice that was far away enough from his east coast relatives that we''d have a good excuse not to invite them, and was still easy to get legally married!
I''ve got to say, that was the best decision we could have made! DW''s are the best!!
How I would look on my wedding day and in the photos was probably my biggest fear and I had a lot of trouble finding THE dress. Of course it was my own [email protected]## fault for not losing weight or getting into better shape.
Although the dress caused more tears and anxiety, picking a location narrowly missed being a giant family-discord causing pain in the ass. It seemed like almost all of them was going to make someone unhappy.. by the time we got engaged the whole thing was rapidly turning into a migraine level headache.
Thankfully his sister was getting married that september and DH got a front row seat for all the drama. It was his idea to have a wedding with just our immediate family and no one else. So Hawaii was the only logical choice that was far away enough from his east coast relatives that we''d have a good excuse not to invite them, and was still easy to get legally married!
I''ve got to say, that was the best decision we could have made! DW''s are the best!!
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