What does "highly strung" mean to you?

[Phoenix]

And would you get upset if someone called you "highly strung"?

This came up in a conversation today and it came from a person that I like a lot, a person who's normally very nice and helpful and whom I respect. Admittedly, I was a bit excited and somewhat worried over something, but it still took me by surprise. I'm sure the person didn't mean to insult me but I was still taken back a bit.

I can be very calm and collected, particularly in a work context, but this was in a social context and I'm usually a very personable, quite passionate in the social context, but still ..."highly strung"? Don't know where that came from!

 

[tlh]

What I think of when I hear "highly strung" ....Anal, Impatient, tightly wound, anxious, restless, control freak...
I wouldn''t be offended if someone called me highstrung. I''d be more offended if they called me a spazz! I admittedly am very passionate about things, and often, get in a frenzy, but that is just a nice way of saying the same thing... but I admittedly call myself anal... because I am. I just don''t think it is ever nice for someone else to point out your faults... it isn''t too bad when you admit them to yourself, but having someone shine a spotlight on it is never very pleasant.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 5/12/2009 10:26:51 AM
Author: tlh
What I think of when I hear ''highly strung'' ....Anal, Impatient, tightly wound, anxious, restless, control freak...
I wouldn''t be offended if someone called me highstrung. I''d be more offended if they called me a spazz! I admittedly am very passionate about things, and often, get in a frenzy, but that is just a nice way of saying the same thing... but I admittedly call myself anal... because I am. I just don''t think it is ever nice for someone else to point out your faults... it isn''t too bad when you admit them to yourself, but having someone shine a spotlight on it is never very pleasant.

THL took the words right out of my mouth!

I think I would have to consider the source and the person who was calling my "high strung". If it were a friend or even my husband or my assistant, I would probably laugh it off because I could safely assume there was no ill-will intended by it. But if it were my MIL or someone who would mean it as an insult or a put down...then I would be offended.

 

[Lauren8211]

High strung to me just means anxious, impatient, easily startled.

It wouldn''t insult me because I know I have a tendency to be that way. I''d try to look at it as something that maybe was particular to that situation? Or you could be that way and not even know it. I''d probably take note that I''m viewed that way, analyze my behavior, and see if it applies. If I don''t see myself as high-strung, I''d probably dismiss it and move on.

Sometimes people are dead-on, and other times they couldn''t be more wrong.

 

[Steel]

It means somebody just insulted me.

Sorry Phoenix, however anxious you might have been about that particular issue there are nicer ways to tell you to chill; if she felt it necessary to poke her beak in at all. Go blind her with your bling

.

 

[dani13]

High strung- usually Type A personality/control freak/highly anxious person.

I can definitely be high strung, and I used to get upset when others would call me Type A/etc. Then one day I just decided to let it go- its just the way I am, and that's the way it is! There are worse things to be!!!

 

[bee*]

Date: 5/12/2009 10:30:33 AM
Author: Italiahaircolor

Date: 5/12/2009 10:26:51 AM

Author: tlh

What I think of when I hear ''highly strung'' ....Anal, Impatient, tightly wound, anxious, restless, control freak...

I wouldn''t be offended if someone called me highstrung. I''d be more offended if they called me a spazz! I admittedly am very passionate about things, and often, get in a frenzy, but that is just a nice way of saying the same thing... but I admittedly call myself anal... because I am. I just don''t think it is ever nice for someone else to point out your faults... it isn''t too bad when you admit them to yourself, but having someone shine a spotlight on it is never very pleasant.

THL took the words right out of my mouth!


I think I would have to consider the source and the person who was calling my ''high strung''. If it were a friend or even my husband or my assistant, I would probably laugh it off because I could safely assume there was no ill-will intended by it. But if it were my MIL or someone who would mean it as an insult or a put down...then I would be offended.

I agree with both of the girls above. I can get quite passionate about things as well but I don''t think that I''d like to be called highly strung by someone I work with.

 

[gemgirl]

Yeah, definitely a little bit of what everyone has said. Tightly wound, anxious, edgy. An A personality to the max!

We''re all like that sometimes. It depends on the situation.

 

[Sharon101]

Trust me, its always said as an insult ....because it implies that you are highly strung.......as oppossed to being normal like everyone else.

And I can relate to being highly strung myself, its very common.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

If you deviate from the mean and you know that you deviate from the mean, it''s a little unfair to become angry at someone and blame them for your uncomfortable feelings because they accurately pointed out the truth.

That said, it''s completely understandable for a person to be hurt about it if he/she hasn''t come to a 100% acceptance about himself/herself for having that trait; because people are rarely that in-tune to their own selves, most people know to not say such things directly to others for fear of hurting them.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 5/12/2009 10:39:39 AM
Author: Dani
High strung- usually Type A personality/control freak/highly anxious person.

I can definitely be high strung, and I used to get upset when others would call me Type A/etc. Then one day I just decided to let it go- its just the way I am, and that's the way it is! There are worse things to be!!!

Well, this is how I see it. I wouldn't be upset; maybe she is hinting to you to chill. You said you get along but maybe people are saying this about you and this is her way of saying take it a little easy. If you respect her I would take it as a gentle hint maybe? I don't think she meant it in a bad way but like, hey, we are friends this is a hint maybe? Or if it bothered you that much and you feel close enough I would ask her about it but in a way she doesn't feel cornered. (just a quick side note; I use to work with the nicest man but he was very much a Type A personality. He was very much caught up in the details and perfection, not such a bad thing.)

 

[Bliss]

Hey, it's not always bad. EVERYONE gets highly strung about things they are passionate about. If they didn't, they'd all be limp noodles. I'd so much rather be called highly strung than limply hung. LOL. Highly strung slightly implies that you're wound so tightly that if a musician used a bow the wrong way, you'd screech like a badly tuned violin...

But all those who work passionately and have genius are highly strung from time to time. It just means passionate. Sometimes wet noodles see passion as highly strung. Don't sweat it or then you WILL BE REALLY HIGHLY STRUNG! LOL. Let the wet noodles call over lazily from the broth pot they're simmering in... while the highly strung ones go out and do cool stuff. Heehee.

 

[february2003bride]

High strung to me = micromanager and not in a good way.

And now if someone called me high strung, I''d be a little ticked

 

[Phoenix]

Thanks very much, everyone, for replying and letting me know your viewpoints.

Truth to be known, I *am* a Type A personality. I can be very detailed oriented, a perfectionist, v. passionate and a real worry wart. This is my real personality, though at work I try to chill a bit.

The person who said this to me is actually a he, not a she, and an older person too and he hasn''t known me that long and doesn''t know anyone else I know. So maybe he''s a really wise person and able to suss me out quite quickly. As I said, I''m sure he didn''t mean to insult me but it was still a real surprise to hear him say that I''m "highly strung".

Oh well... I guess I''ll just shrug it off... unless he says it again. If and when he does, it''ll be WAR!!

Steel and Bliss, your posts are too funny!!

 

[Circe]

I interpret "tightly strung" or "highly strung" as being tense in the best scenario, on the verge of snapping at the worst ... and I get it too. I don''t think there''s anything wrong with it, really: on the great spectrum of life, some of us *have* to be the worriers and the planners. I''d say it''s the highly strung among us who''ll worry about it, too - laid back people wouldn''t care!

 

[Circe]

Grah, double-post. See, as a tightly-wound person, I'm all "Stupid technology!" and "People will think I can't use Teh Internets properly!" A laid-back person wouldn't even check the thread to make sure it'd posted ....

 

[whitby_2773]

Date: 5/12/2009 10:56:42 AM
Author: Sharon101
Trust me, its always said as an insult ....because it implies that you are highly strung.......as oppossed to being normal like everyone else.

And I can relate to being highly strung myself, its very common.

i dont agree with this. there is no ''everyone else''. everyone has something - everyone has tendencies to SOMEthing. and being highly strung is no big deal. i can be compulsive and a perfectionist, my best friend is vague and can be very ADD-ish, my husband is overly emotionally independent...EVERYONE has something.

being highly strung to me means edgy, perhaps a perfectionist or someone with high, maybe overly high, standards, someone who puts themselves under pressure with their self expectations, possibly nervy, maybe anxious...i mean, you really have to ask the person who said it what she means. since it''s someone you like, why not ask rather than being offended?

language is extremely perspectually driven. i mean - if someone says something is ''big'' - what does that mean to you? to me? to the person who said it? highly strung is even more subjective, but my guess is that if this is someone you''ve always liked and respected, unless your judgment of people is really missing the mark here, then it''s unlikely she''s suddenly become a horrible person. so ask.

and - ask yourself - do YOU think you''re highly strung? if you are - so what? nobody is perfect - you *could* have been overly aggressive, a tight-wad, constantly depressed, a cynic, manic, cruel and bad tempered, a misogynist, foul mouthed, had poor social skills, a loud mouth, overly timid, a push over, a perpetual victim, a momma''s boy, a hypochondriac, deceitful, egotistical, self deluding, uncaring, i mean....we ALL have something. if you''re just highly strung - gees phoenix! let''s be friends, cause you''re almost perfect!

besides, highly strung people, in MY definition, tend to be high achievers and performance driven. and, as a bit of a perfectionist myself, i am GOOD with that!

 

[Matata]

In my role as a Human Resources Director, high strung means edgy, tense, overly emotional & emotionally delicate which means they''re always on an emotional roller coaster. They often are high maintenance folks who disrupt the work environment through constant tantrums & meltdowns. Quick to judge & respond to situations without having or considering all the facts. There''s an overlying layer of paranoia. These characteristics tend to make personal relationships challenging for some folks. Like Whitby said, we all have aspects to our personalities that may not be compatible with the myriad relationships we forge throughout our lifetimes. Self-awareness is key. If we are aware of our strengths and weaknesses, we can harness them in positive ways.

 

[allycat0303]

I consider myself high strung. High maintence. Both of those things (they seem kind of entertwined to me). For high strung I think of: anxious, worried a lot (even if there''s nothing to worry about), easily excited or stressed. Translated to mean that someone with whom a love relationship with is *hard work*. I don''t think of it as an insult, but more of a personality trait. I wouldn''t be offended if someone said that to me. I would think of it as being truthful.

 

[Kelli]

I''d take it as uptight and high-maintenance, and it would definitely hurt my poor little feelings, but I''d try not to dwell on it. It sounds like you''re like me. Most times I''m pretty laid back, but I can sometimes get worked up over nothing. If that''s what was happening, laugh it off and let it go, because we all can be that way once in a while. No biggie! If she was just being rude, there''s not a whole lot you can do about it anyway.

 

[meresal]

I have been told that I am "high strung". I don't think I agree, I just get irritated easily. To my credit though, the people that irritate me easily are ususally making very selfish statments/actions that impact me or our plans in some way or another. I am always considerate of everyone else before myself, and I take offense when the favor isn't returned.

- If you say you're going to call/show-up at a certain time, and you know I have to work around that call or meeting, then don't blow me off. There are text and email capabilities for a reason. Sometimes it makes me worry for no reason and other times I get irritated.
- I think high strung doesn't necessarily mean a control freak, but more a person that has to be in control at all times. I consider myself a control freak about projects and work, but I could care less where/what we eat dinner or that my FI calls exactly 3 times a day. (Which he does not do, just an example)
- I HATE when major plans change last minute. There's a difference between spontaneous and inconsiderate.
- I can't stand when other people don't have patience. Especially when driving in a car.

Obviously it everyone around me

ETA: As for the situation, I have noticed that the only people that don't call me high strung, are ones that have very high aspirations for themselves. I get called "high strung" by aquaintences that are working at the lowest wage they could possibly earn, don't aspire to do anything major in their life, and just want to get by. Funny how being ambitious makes me "high strung". I've never really gotten that.
I'm not sure why he said that to you, but if this is someone you enjoy and respect, I am sure he didn't mean it in a hurtful manner.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 5/12/2009 12:30:43 PM
Author: Phoenix
Thanks very much, everyone, for replying and letting me know your viewpoints.

Truth to be known, I *am* a Type A personality. I can be very detailed oriented, a perfectionist, v. passionate and a real worry wart. This is my real personality, though at work I try to chill a bit.

The person who said this to me is actually a he, not a she, and an older person too and he hasn't known me that long and doesn't know anyone else I know. So maybe he's a really wise person and able to suss me out quite quickly. As I said, I'm sure he didn't mean to insult me but it was still a real surprise to hear him say that I'm 'highly strung'.

Oh well... I guess I'll just shrug it off... unless he says it again. If and when he does, it'll be WAR!!

Steel and Bliss, your posts are too funny!!

Oh okay, sounds like he was saying it in a friendly sort of way. Glad you aren't letting it get to you; you are a classy lady!!!

 

[purrfectpear]

High strung = making mountains out of molehills. Everything is drama prone. Worry wort to the excess.

Not a compliment by any means.

 

[Patchee]

My cat is high strung. We call her a crack addict looking for the next hit..... That''s high strung to me. People wise cannot help ya! LOL

 

[HollyS]

Yes, that would certainly annoy me; and then ''the friend'' would get to see me at my most highly strung.

When people say these things, usually, they are trying to diminish you in some way. It''s used to invalidate your feelings, your experiences, etc.

I''d take a closer look at my ''friend'' if I were you.

 

[Tuckins1]

To me, I read it as bi##y or snotty. Hyper, loud, obnoxious... All of these words come to mind.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Well, I would say a person IS "high strung" if they are offended if being told they're high strung! Non-high-strung people would shrug it off!!!

 

[cara]

Wow, I seem to fairly different impression in that I don''t immediately think of such a strong negative connotation with the term. I think of it as a temperament characteristic for someone easily stressed out, upset or agitated, sensitive, highly responsive, skittish, with some overlap with other Type A personality charactistics but not a term specifically regarding anal-ness or being detail-oriented, micromanager, etc.

Overall, I have a milder negative connotation with ''highly strung'' than people here seem to associate with it. That said, I don''t think I''ve typically used it to describe people to their face, unless I''m really good friends and its a pretty clear trait, so that probably means it is a term with at least some negative connotation. Definitely also used more on females than males, at least for humans.

Don''t know if this makes a difference, but my first association for the term is to horse temperament. It is commonly used to describe horse temperament with a high degree of specificity for how they need to be ridden. In particular, a rider needs to stay calm and firm, use milder signals (ie a gentle nudge where another horse would need a stronger kick) and a calmly ignore a little prancing or other signs of agitation from the horse, rather than get upset or tense themselves. Rider also needs to be aware the horse may startle easily at small things, etc.

So maybe my perception is based mostly on riding, whereas the applying ''high-strung'' to humans is seen as more insulting ??

As with all things, take this little comment with a grain of salt. I wouldn''t go worrying about it too much unless you get other back up evidence either that insult was intended or you are sometimes come off a touch more excited/excitable than you think.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Date: 5/12/2009 10:26:51 AM
Author: tlh
What I think of when I hear ''highly strung'' ....Anal, Impatient, tightly wound, anxious, restless, control freak...

Ditto. And I wouldn''t be insulted - I honestly think I am sort of highly strung by this definition, and while I try to tone it down as much as I can, I think its just in my nature to be Type A like that.

 

[Lynnie]

Two words - my mother! I agree w/ Cara and PP''s definition.
My brother and I were evil growing up. My mom is an extreme worry-wart, and stresses the small stuff. We didn''t help, though. We''d pour ketchup on our arms and run in the house screaming about being hit by cars... my brother used to fly and stomp down the stairs (pretend fall), just to get a reaction out of her. She''d scream for a minute, then laugh hysterically (relief?). In any event, I''m sorry, mom!
I don''t neccessarily associate the word with anality (is that a word?), or Type A personalities.