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What do you expect from your SO on your birthday?

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It depends what kind of birthday it is. I turned 30 this year, so I really wanted a piece of jewelry to commemorate it. I'd been going on and on about wanting to save money and pay off debt, yadda yadda, and finally, he just said, "Go ahead and spend up to $1k... no, make that $1.5k... on something you really, REALLY want." That shut me up. :cheeky: I debated starting to upgrade incrementally, but DiamondSeeker2006 posted a comment that I wouldn't want to trade in my present later, and she was right. I got the band in my avatar instead <---- and spent half the budget he gave me.

We were in Pittsburgh for my sister's commencement from graduate school, so I got to pick the restaurant that night. While we were there, we got the 'eating tour' of Pittsburgh, which was great. :appl:

If it's a non-big birthday, though, I tell him what $50-$100 gift I want and my parents usually take the whole immediate family out to dinner to wherever the birthday girl or boy wants to go. That's always been the tradition in my family.

Since DH is also turning 30 this year (in two days on 12/12!), I told him he had to get something at least as nice as what I got. He had fun making up his mind between an iPad, an upgraded laptop, and a smartphone. He got the phone and a bunch of accessories a few weeks ago, and he has loved having one (finally).
 
I agree with Circe- it is so important to communicate what you want and need from your SO and though it may not be something they necessarily are used to they can learn and rise to the occasion. We are all different but can learn what our partners need from us without negatively affecting the other. Communication is a mitzvah because it allows each individual to flourish within the relationship and grow. Btw Circe, Congratulations on your little one!!!!! He is so beautiful and I am so happy for you and your family!!

For us birthday's are special. We try to take a birthday week and spend it with each other doing things we love.

My dh's birthday is in October and we always take a week off cycling at the shore and enjoying the outdoors and each other. We will go out for a birthday dinner at a nice restaurant and my dh chooses whatever gift he wants. We stopped surprising each other a long time ago as we are both so choosy and this allows us to purchase what our heart desires.

For my birthday which is in August (ugh, so hot and humid LOL) we also take a week off (though not always my bday week if it doesn't work out schedule wise- I am not married to the exact date and am OK celebrating around my bday and this year we did it the week after my birthday) and go cycling etc.

We don't do cake on our birthday's or flowers anymore because though I love flowers I would rather not spend the money on them because they do not last too long. And though I loved the ice cream birthday cakes when I was younger I don't want them on my birthday anymore.

Sometimes we celebrate with our family because my mom still likes to celebrate all that stuff but more usually we do not as we are away on our birthdays but we do celebrate all the younger kids bdays with them.

We write each other special cards for our birthday's that I really love. For us, it is not about the gift so much or what we are doing but just that we are spending time together just the 2 of us. That is what makes it special.
 
Haven|1323441660|3077775 said:
I came back to apologize for unloading my feelings in this thread, and here you are being all sweet and understanding. Thank you. ::)

Speaking of cake . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-o-u4IwXkbE
Click to expand...

LOL- funny video!! I could easily eat a whole cake for sure!! But I could also eat a whole pie so you can't go by me... :oops:

Haven, it is so OK to unload feelings here (it's cathartic)- We all do it. Isn't that what PS is all about (that and jewels of course)... :halo:
And when is your birthday btw- I agree we should all celebrate here!
 
Birthdays were Huge in my family growing up.My twin and me were given major treatment and gifts on our birthday.I have never worked on my birthday and plans are made and gifts picked out well in advance of the this major holiday where state and government offices are closed to celibate this day! :bigsmile: since my 12th birthday i have always received a gift of jewelry from my family, friends or parents. it has been new,per-owned or an heirloom piece.I always plan each year for my own gift to myself. ;) and in years past it has been out of control (one year a trip to Hawaii that took months to plan or finding the right carat plus diamond ring) to a simple string of carved bone beads from India for $5.Because I don't work on my birthday, I take the day and treat myself to do whatever i want to do...usually its sleep in late,go shopping, go to a movie and treat myself to lunch.One thing is cool about being a twin,you always have someone to share your day with!
 
Well what my husband did last year was take me out to a nice dinner, also got flowers. He also gave me a piece of jewelry (he got the category right!) but unfortunately it was not my style so I returned it. But it's usually just the dinner if there is a gift it is a token. As an aside we've been together for almost 20 years so we are not in the "honeymoon" stage of giving gifts.
 
Haven|1323441660|3077775 said:
I came back to apologize for unloading my feelings in this thread, and here you are being all sweet and understanding. Thank you. ::)

Speaking of cake . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-o-u4IwXkbE
Click to expand...
Haven! you seriously just made my day with that cake video! sooooo funny! no problem on the unloading part. we all do it here now and again.Its hard to be un appreciated on our birthday.
 
Thanks, friends! My nearest and dearest like to joke that DH and I don't have emotions, which is obviously untrue, but I'm just not usually one to share them with others. Says a lot about all of you and PS that I did, though, doesn't it?

I'm glad you liked the Jim Gaffigan video. He's hilarious. I follow him on Twitter, and he doesn't post a lot, but when he does it makes my day.

My birthday is October 8th, but for the record: I do not expect anyone on PS to write me a handwritten note OR to make me feel special on that day. That's my hubby's job. ;))
 
I don't expect anything, so whatever happens is a nice bonus rather than a disappointment. My main reason for wanting my own birthdays to be very low key indeed is that I am lame at picking gifts and organising stuff for other people, and it puts less pressure on me if I don't have to reciprocate for a lavish surprise or gift.

It isn't like we ignore the occasion - although it isn't a big deal to either of us, we always acknowledge each others' birthdays. We usually have cake and champagne at home, and this year he organised a sitter so we could go to the ballet, but that was the following week.

For his birthday, I have learned over the years that the only thing her really wants is a home baked cake. He's very anti-stuff, so nigh on impossible to buy gifts for. Cake I can do, that's easy.
 
Haven|1323452487|3077879 said:
Thanks, friends! My nearest and dearest like to joke that DH and I don't have emotions, which is obviously untrue, but I'm just not usually one to share them with others. Says a lot about all of you and PS that I did, though, doesn't it?

I'm glad you liked the Jim Gaffigan video. He's hilarious. I follow him on Twitter, and he doesn't post a lot, but when he does it makes my day.

My birthday is October 8th, but for the record: I do not expect anyone on PS to write me a handwritten note OR to make me feel special on that day. That's my hubby's job. ;))
Click to expand...

Haven, Happy belated Birthday!!! You are only a day before my dh's birthday- Libra right? Happy happy Birthday and now I will always remember since my dh's is Oct 9th. :appl: Watch out for next year!!!
 
We make a big deal out of each other. We usually eat out a few times that week.

We do:
a gift, that we try to make a surprise
cake
special home made breakfast and lunch
dinner out
balloons or candy
go do something fun
 
I don't really expect much....then again in the last 6 years my husband and I have been together, he has never been here for my birthday. :nono: he is always away training or deployed. I think he will be here his year..fingers crossed. I think on my actual birthday, which will be a week day, I would like to have him bring home something yummy for dinner and spend the evening watching movies/playing games with him and our one and a half year old daughter. Then on one of the days on the weekend I want to get a babysitter so that we can have a date night....movie, nice dinner, ect. I am not expecting a gift, I am rolling this year's anniversary, christmas, birthday, and push present for my daughter into my upgraded e-ring. :naughty:
 
Expect? hard to say. My birthday is a month after Christmas so they say gift giving is tough. I get roses, a card, a gift and a dinner.

This Christmas i have to get a new computer as mine is on its last legs. The rest of our gift giving budget will go directly to our local Veterans Home/Hospital.

I already told him that this year I will be turning a TRAUMATIC age and it is definitely a jewelry occasion. But I'll wait until after Christmas to show him what I want.t
 
I expect my husband to smile and shake his head "Yes" while I tell him what I"M going to buy MYSELF.

Its just that he works and hates to shop (too indecisive). I dont work and love to shop. It really takes the pressure
off of him and he thanks me for doing my own shopping. I do expect dinner out with either the family or just the
two of us. We usually celebrate birthdays on the weekend (no matter what day of the week it is) and he usually
cooks on the grille Sunday which is nice.
 
I always remind DH about 2 weeks ahead of time, although I don't think he would ever forget. He usually makes a nice dinner or we go out. I expect a card and flowers, at least. ;)) I always think it would be nice for us to both take the day off for his birthday, but my work schedule hasn't cooperated the past 2 years.
 
My husband always asks me what I want, and I decide whether I want dinner out or cooked by him at home. If there is no gift that I want, he'll usually bring home flowers. But when there is a jewelry item that I want, I tell him and he gets it! Loooong ago we learned that he could not bring me surprises! Usually our birthdays are low key but nice!
 
Not sure if I *expect* it, but every year I HOPE for it. What is it?

Anything thoughtful. :))
 
Missy--Thank you! My oldest and dearest friend's birthday is October 9th! We were born in the same hospital, one day apart. We didn't meet until the second grade, but I like to think we were meant to be BFFs. I'll always remember your DH's birthday now!
Go Libras!
 
We usually go out for dinner to celebrate each other's birthdays. Other than that, I don't expect anything because we don't really exchange gifts. We usually buy tickets to something or take a trip and call it our birthday (or Christmas) present to each other.
 
In a perfect world, I agree with the post above where it would be a national holiday filled with parades and adoration 24/7 focused on me! but in reality... it gets forgotten as its Christmas Eve. Most restaurants are closed by 6pm so going out for dinner is a non starter. Thankfully, my husband is amazing in the kitchen, so we all get to pick our own dinner (I usually request roast beef) and cake (carrot cake with cream cheese icing). Gift wise, I just want to be remembered (sometimes I write out a birthday/Christmas wish list... sometimes no) and there must be **NO** Christmas wrap used on a birthday gift!!! NO NO NO! :nono: :nono: :nono:

Just being remembered is good - anything beyond that, is a total bonus!
 
My birthday is 7 days before Christmas. He can give me anything...as long as he never says "Happy Birthday & Merry Christmas too!" :nono: A foot rub is always a favorite... A bottle of red wine I wouldn't normally buy, chocolate and Flowers....I'm a happy girl!
 
OMG, I thought I was the only one that dropped reminders in fear of disappointment! I solved this problem by keeping a current Amazon wishlist. He doesn't even have to remember anything, he can just search by my name and surprise me with things I want. I threw him a surprise party for his milestone b-day, so I better get something as extravagant for my milestone b-day :naughty:
 
Oh Stepcut ... so much of relationships is managing expectations! But to your question ... what do I *expect*? I *expect* to be able to choose what to eat for dinner, but that it will most likely be takeout because DH hates eating out. Probably some sort of cake or cupcake situation. About a 50% chance of a card. And the 99.7% likelihood that I've already bartered away my "birthday present" for some portion of a larger gift and/or upcoming mutual trip.

On the flip side, DH has been away for 1/2 of his birthdays since we've been together. This year, his 40th, he drove 14 hours w/me and a very grumpy dog to a family vacation beach rental & ate cold Subway sandwiches about 11pm. Though, I've made up for that a bit now with the watch of his dreams. For my 40th we went to get my ears pierced at the mall -- and groomed my puppy w/ a puppy cut so she'd seem "all new" because I wasn't able to keep my promise to myself to get another dog @ 40.

Is this making you feel better? :halo:
 
Nothing.

Except for kids in my life I don't do birthdays.
 
DH and i don't exchange birthday or christmas gifts - we prefer to go out to a nice dinner together, since that almost never happens.
 
I'm also in the camp of birthdays being huge for me and not very important to SO.
I always go out-of-my-way thoughtful for his birthday and he never knows what to get me, now, post-PS he's afraid to buy me jewelry--even after sending inexpensive things that I'd genuinely love :((

For my birthday, from SO, I want LOVE and FLOWERS. There are no flowers that I hate, so there's no going wrong there.
My last birthday was unfortunate due to my expectations and for his upcoming 2012 birthday I'm not going as "crazy" as I have in years prior. You reap what you sow. Why should I go out of my way another year when he won't do the same for me? :/
 
I want some fuss made, and CAKE! And a gift from my wish list (I like to make it easy for him ;)) )

I didn't get a big gift last year as I got 5 carats of diamonds in the form of engagement and wedding rings instead so I thought it was quite enough. I'm thinking ahead for next year....

My husband isn't big on birthdays, but he knows it's important for me so he goes above and beyond. It's this sort of thing that makes me truly love the man :love:
 
He usually takes me out to dinner, and he gets me a gift. If I haven't gotten anything expensive in awhile, then the gift is usually larger. Otherwise, he'll get me something, but it won't be quite as big. No matter what though, he usually puts a lot of thought into my gifts, and that's what I love.

We also get a cake sometimes, but it depends on how we're feeling. Sometimes, we'll just consider the dessert at the restaurant to be my 'cake'.
 
I don't really expect anything. He surprises me with little stuff - which, to me, are the best. This year he was on business on my birthday. So he left tons of post-it notes ALL over the house for me. He also made me a mixed CD (!!!!) with some of my favourite tunes to listen to in the car - because he knows good beats while driving to work totally make my day. He also got me a few little things...one being a book on wines I wanted. Little things, but each very thoughtful.

I love celebrating the day though. If it's a week-end, we start the day at my favourite breakfast restaurant. Then spend the day doing some fun activity (my birthday is in September, one of the few odd months when we can actually do outdoor activities here!). But my favourite part of the day would be the dinner. We'll have a nice evening out at one of our favourite restaurants, get a vintage wine and spend 3+ hours at dinner just chatting - this ends up being fairly pricey though (approx 250-300$, so in my eyes it's a gift!) . He also gets a cake for me from whatever patisserie I'm currently loving. We go home and have cake and then call it a night.

He doesn't care much for birthdays, but I do. I never really celebrated my birthday at home....my mum would rarely as much as wish me. So I kinda feel like I have 20+ years to catch up on!
 
I love birthdays but my SO doesn't really care about them too much. I have been slowly bringing him around to my way of thinking and he has had a great time at the parties I plan for him but....last year we spent my birthday at a dumpy outdoor burger stand under the highway. My birthday is Dec 31 too! After last year I expressed the fact that birthdays are special days and I wanted to feel special on my birthday. I'm really hoping he will do something special this year. There are always great parties where we live so I would love to get all dressed up and go out to a nice dinner then go dancing (both things he also likes to do). I'm not expecting much but I would love a little recognition. I haven't had a good birthday since I was 16 and I will be 24 this year.
 
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