What do you do when . . .

[Haven]

someone corrects you, but her correction is actually incorrect?

I''m interested in how you respond, especially when the person is subtle about making the correction. (e.g. She repeats what you just said or wrote, but changes a word or punctuation to include an incorrect edit that she believes is the correct form.)

Do you ignore it? Do you subtly correct her correction? Do you begin to second-guess yourself, even though you *know* you''re correct?

I''m asking because I''ve noticed this happen both online and in real life, and it''s interesting to see how different people react when they''re corrected.

I have a good friend who often uses "I" as an object pronoun, but I never correct her because, well, it would just feel like a rude thing to do. I do use "I" and "me" correctly when speaking with her, of course, but never as a means of correcting her misuse of these words. However, she often corrects my use of these words, although her corrections are wrong. I don''t say anything, as she is subtle about these "corrections" and it''s not really something I care to address.

And, there is one word that I''ve used a couple times here on PS, and then posters later quoted my post and used the subtle correction technique on me to show me the "correct" version of that word. I''ve always ignored it, but I will admit that I always want to say "Hey! Wait a minute! I used that word correctly!"

So, what do you do? My guess is that everyone ignores it, but I can''t help it, it bothers me to be incorrectly corrected!

I''m a nerd. Go ahead, point and laugh. I suppose I should be thanking my lucky stars that I have time to worry about these things, right?

 

[akmiss]

It depends on my mood but I am making a consciences effort to be less reactive in general

hey, what word are you talking about? I am curious now

 

[mrscushion]

Date: 6/16/2009 8:02:49 PM
Author: akmiss
hey, what word are you talking about? I am curious now

I''m curious, too!

I''m not sure that it''s happened to me, but if it did, I would ignore the incorrect correction altogether. However, I might afterwards go double-check that I am in fact correct.

 

[Haven]

I love your signature quote, akmiss! Great movie.

I should have added that I *know* I make a lot of errors when writing on these forums, and certainly when speaking in real life, as well. I don''t really mind if someone corrects me when it''s actually constructive, I kind of view that as telling someone she has broccoli in her teeth--it saves her future embarrassment. It''s only when the correction is incorrect that it irks me.

As for the word, I feel badly saying what it is now, because someone *just* corrected me on it and I don''t want to call anyone out.

 

[Haven]

mscushion--I always check myself, too. It always makes me paranoid!

 

[hlmr]

LOL Haven, because that reminds me of someone who makes a habit of correcting other's misuse of english (in some cases - english as a second language english) yet she's 'seen' this and 'seen' that.

You are an English teacher. If someone is 'correcting' you incorrectly, I would gently recorrect.

 

[Haven]

hlmr--Oh boy, that sounds like a trying situation.

I rarely correct others, but I will admit to doing it here on PS once. One poster incorrectly corrected another poster, so I jumped in to defend the original (correct) poster''s use of a particular phrase. Otherwise, I make as many mistakes as the next person, so I keep my typing fingers still.

 

[decodelighted]

Oh come on. You have to tell us now! I''ll admit attempting to correct typos & such when quoting folks from time to time -- if I''m bored or it just bugs me for some reason at the moment. But I hope I''d have the good sense to be able to laugh at myself if I''d "corrected" incorrectly. Ironic! Oh having a good laugh at yourself is so cleansing sometimes.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

GAAAH!!! One of my bosses does this alllllllll the tiiiiiiiiime, and it drives me nuuuuuuuuts!!!

I''ll give him a document that I''ve drafted, and he reviews it and marks it up with his "corrections." His punctuation isn''t quite what it should be, but he thinks he knows what he''s doing. He doesn''t.

Of course, I can''t really tell him that he''s wrong and I''m right (since he''s my boss), so I usually just keep my mouth shut and make his incorrect corrections.

He''s really the only one who corrects me incorrectly, so I don''t know what I''d do if someone other than my boss did this. Honestly, I''d probably just let it go.

 

[Sabine]

I would probably ask them why they made the correction. Every once in a while, when I correct someone, they will correct me back and explain why they believe it, and sometimes I learn something new, but it still makes me feel a little righteous.

For example, on another forum, there was a question about how to make "boss''s secretary" possessive correctly. I wrote that it would be boss''s for singular and bosses'' for plural. But then the poster wrote back and said that according to AP rules, if you have a word like boss followed by a word that starts with an s, the rule is different (and I''m blanking on what they said the rule was, boss'' maybe?) and I realized that since I''m not familiar with AP rules for grammar, that could very well be true and something I''d never heard of before.

I like to look at all of those kind of situations as learning opportunities. I know some people might get offended, but if you ask them about their reasoning instead of just imposing yours, it might go smoother.

 

[mimzy]

i was just thinking about this because i definitely encounter it on a daily basis

as an SLP i deal with a lot of patients with dysphagia, which is pronounced "disFAYzha", as determined by some asha council who my dysphagia professor happened to sit on when they determined it a million years ago. well sometime between then and now someone started pronouncing it "disFAHzha" and it has really stuck. My professor made it a big point to correct anyone who mispronounced it, but for some reason in my new job EVERYONE (including the other SLP) pronounces it that way that and I just can''t bring myself to say anything, even though it really is like nails on a chalkboard....and i KNOW they are all thinking to themselves...''geez, you''d think she''d know how to pronounce it correctly!''.

so...no, i never correct them, i just keep using the correct pronunciation and hope that they catch on

(which no one has yet

)

 

[iheartscience]

Ha, I would totally call the person out on it. But I''m petty like that!

Honestly, I think it''s EXTREMELY rude to correct someone. (Obviously if it''s a teacher/student relationship or something similar, it''s fine, but otherwise, I don''t see the point.) I read somewhere that as long as you understand what a person is trying to say (or write), you shouldn''t correct them, and I completely agree. If someone has a fact wrong I will usually politely say "Actually, blah blah blah," but as far as grammar, spelling, pronunciation, etc., I never correct someone.

A new person at my job CONSTANTLY corrects people on pronunciations, and he''s not always right, either! It drives me crazy because it''s so rude. He corrected our boss on the pronunciation of the name of HER OWN DOCTOR the other day. Our boss was like "I''ve heard them call him Dr. X. That''s how you say it." He still didn''t get it and kept going on and on about it. So rude!

 

[Haven]

Date: 6/16/2009 8:36:38 PM
Author: decodelighted
Oh come on. You have to tell us now! I''ll admit attempting to correct typos & such when quoting folks from time to time -- if I''m bored or it just bugs me for some reason at the moment. But I hope I''d have the good sense to be able to laugh at myself if I''d ''corrected'' incorrectly. Ironic! Oh having a good laugh at yourself is so cleansing sometimes.

I''ll give you a clue--President Obama LOVED using this word when he was on the campaign trail, and *he* used it incorrectly a few times. So, the "correcters" are in good company, at least!

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 6/16/2009 9:11:21 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 6/16/2009 8:36:38 PM
Author: decodelighted
Oh come on. You have to tell us now! I''ll admit attempting to correct typos & such when quoting folks from time to time -- if I''m bored or it just bugs me for some reason at the moment. But I hope I''d have the good sense to be able to laugh at myself if I''d ''corrected'' incorrectly. Ironic! Oh having a good laugh at yourself is so cleansing sometimes.

I''ll give you a clue--President Obama LOVED using this word when he was on the campaign trail, and *he* used it incorrectly a few times. So, the ''correcters'' are in good company, at least!

Ooooh, ooooh, ooooh! I know!

It''s POCKiston, right?!?!

 

[Haven]

Irishgrrrl--Oh, that sounds horrible. You must have a lot of patience!

Sabine--I love learning a new bit of grammar trivia, and I''m certainly not above admitting that I was wrong. It''s when I *know* there''s no way the correction is valid that I get a bit irritated.

Mimzy--That would really irritate me, especially knowing that people must think that you are the one pronouncing it incorrectly.

thing--I agree that unsolicited grammar corrections are very rude, and they rarely make the person giving the advice look good. Your new coworker sounds like a real doll.

I don''t find the subtle corrections rude, though, because it''s not like anyone is saying "Hey! You used the wrong word/punctuation/tense/etc."

 

[D&T]

I''m terrible at English, it is my second language, however, I always welcome someone to correct me, I have a problem with misusing the correct term or word, so PSer''s please correct me

I really welcome it, sometimes I feel dumb asking. The word I mis use frequently is Has and Have... I still don''t get it. go figure.

 

[House Cat]

I think I would have to be a very brave soul to correct an english teacher''s grammar. It would be like telling a Samurai how to use their sword.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

If it is something like spelling and grammar and the person is at my level, I tell them thanks and tell them I can''t spell, that usually stops it.

If it is someone above me, I suck it up, but once I had this NP who kept making me correct my entire notes like I was in grammar school. After a few weeks of that, I just formally complained, and it stopped.

If it is not a spelling issue, but a factual issue, if the person is at my level, I pull the reference. If they are above me and don''t have an ego, I will nicely say "do you mean .....????" They will usually stop, say yes and thanks for catching it. If it is someone above me with an ego issue, I nod, and than clarify the issue myself either with a reference or with a different person, but I don''t address it with the person who made the error.

 

[Haven]

D&T--I found a quick reference guide on the Internet. Note that you only use "has" for the third person singular, so if you can remember that you''ll be great!
(I think you write extremely well, by the way.)

The singular forms are

1. I have (this is the first person singular)
2. You have (this is the second person singular)
3. He has (this is the third person singular). This includes ''she has'' and ''it has''.

The plural forms of the verb to have are all the same:

1. We have (first person plural)
2. You have (second person plural)
3. They have (third person plural)

 

[Haven]

Date: 6/16/2009 10:02:40 PM
Author: House Cat
I think I would have to be a very brave soul to correct an english teacher''s grammar. It would be like telling a Samurai how to use their sword.

This is great, House Cat!

I will admit that I am certainly not a grammarian, English teacher or not. In fact, I HATE teaching grammar. I''m just in it for the literature.

 

[Haven]

Emm--HA! I missed that earlier. (POCKiston)

 

[D&T]

Date: 6/16/2009 10:06:10 PM
Author: Haven
D&T--I found a quick reference guide on the Internet. Note that you only use 'has' for the third person singular, so if you can remember that you'll be great!
(I think you write extremely well, by the way.)

The singular forms are

1. I have (this is the first person singular)
2. You have (this is the second person singular)
3. He has (this is the third person singular). This includes 'she has' and 'it has'.

The plural forms of the verb to have are all the same:

1. We have (first person plural)
2. You have (second person plural)
3. They have (third person plural)

sweet- thanks Haven!. I did better when I was in school and after eight years out. It all goes down hill, now that i have spell check and grammar check on both Outlook and Word.

 

[luckystar112]

This happened to me when I was preparing to send out our invitations to our post-wedding barbeque. The invitation included a silly poem with the line, "We flew to Jamaica/ to say our ''I dos''". Well, the editor at this company changed it to "do''s". I remember I was so thrown off by it that I emailed the company just to be sure. "Yes, this is the correct way of spelling ''do''s". Yours was the incorrect way". So I went ahead and approved them.
Afterward it was STILL driving me crazy so I started a thread here. Of course Haven told me I was right and THEY were wrong.

At that point it was too late to do anything about it but looking back I really wish I would have sent another email letting them know.

 

[somethingshiny]

Haven~ I''m in the group of "why are we correcting the English teacher?" I usually just let it slide when someone corrects me. I am a fairly good speaker (albeit not as good of a typer) and I''m usually viewed as an intelligent person. So, when someone corrects me, it makes me think they''re trying to one-up me in some way. Obviously they think so highly of themselves and their intelligence, my re-correction isn''t going to accomplish much so I don''t bother. DH''s grandma used to do it to me ALL the time. At first it really bugged me, mostly because I didn''t want the rest of his family thinking I was an idiot. Finally, I realized they didn''t think I was an idiot at all. In fact, they were grateful that I didn''t correct their mother for mis-correcting me. They thought it was very kind. SO, for me, I''d correct someone that you actually care about. You don''t want your sibling talking like an incompetent, so sure, correct them. But, Jo or Jane Schmo--who cares? Let them sound stupid.

 

[Munchkin]

Well, it depends.

If someone corrects me and I''m not sure they are correct, I am likely to ask them about the correction in order to learn. I''ve definitely been known to say "that''s how it''s pronounced? I had no idea. I though it was...." If a person is clearly wrong and I fear they may continue to sound foolish, I might "gently" correct them back. I usually only do that to family and very close friends, though.

My mother loves to say "I feel badly about that." I''ve told her multiple times that using "badly" to modify "feel" means that her sense of touch is poor, not that she is sorry. I think she has decided that it sounds more intelligent/correct to use use the phrase incorrectly. I''ve given up on that one.

Sometimes I think I may be perceived as the one making "gentle" corrections, but I rarely do it intentionally in conversation unless we have a close relationship. For example, I''ve been in conversations at work in which a person said "me and her went there yesterday." I would respond something like "She and I are going there tonight, too." It isn''t meant to correct people (as that is how I would reply to anyone), but I think it may sometimes come across that way. Conversely, I''ve never said anything to my coworker who uses "whom" incorrectly ALL THE TIME! I work with one or two people who seem to think they sound more intelligent using certain phrases, not knowing they are grammatically incorrect.

If there is an error in written communication at work, I correct it. I am SO tired of seeing apostrophes to demonstrate a plural without possession! I get absurdly fired up about it, and I''ve started seeing it in commercial print as well! I cross out/white out any such apostrophes. I usually try to ignore incorrect "they''re/their/there, you''re/your and its/it''s" usage unless it will reflect negatively on me or my work. That''s a battle I''m tired of fighting.

 

[Haven]

Correct away, as long as you''re sure it''s a correct correction!

somethingshiny--You make a good point that we should correct people we care about, and not worry about relative strangers. I like that view.
I can imagine it took some serious restraint to keep your composure in front of the correcting grandma!

Munchkin--I have the same bad habit as your mother, I really have a hard time correcting that one. I have no idea why.

 

[somethingshiny]

You have no idea how hard it is to not correct someone who is telling you that "Tylenol" is pronounced "tide and all"!!! Or that the plural of "deer" is "deers"!

 

[TravelingGal]

As an English major whose fingers have a mind of their own, I make mistakes on PS all the time. Plus I tend to "speak" casually here, which can mean incorrect grammar.

I''d probably ignore the correction, unless it got obnoxious.

Sometimes I might quote someone and then spell something correctly that someone spelled incorrectly, but I don''t mean it as a correction, which wouldn''t make it too insulting, correct?

 

[phoenixgirl]

It all depends on whether or not I am concerned about the person''s feelings being hurt. But as an English teacher, I do find myself correcting people out of habit.

A few years ago a coworker (a fellow English teacher!) made a poster full of pictures of herself (which were inappropriate in and of themselves . . . one was obviously shot in a bar with beer bottles visible) entitled "What [First Name] Rely''s On." I think out of the beer bottles, the use of her first name, and the bizarre decision to conjugate "rely" with an apostrophe, I was most appalled by the apostrophe. This poster was affixed to the front of her cart and wheeled from classroom to classroom with her. I did not correct her--I knew she would be offended--but I finally couldn''t take it any more and said innocently to a gossip, "Oh, I just noticed there''s a mistake on her poster. Do you think I should tell her?" Sure enough, the poster was gone that day.

One reason I love my husband is that he unabashedly uses nominative case pronouns with linking verbs. "Did you hear that murderer was he?" and such. But when I''m speaking to people who I think don''t know the rule, I might just decide to use "him" because I know they''ll think, "Huh?" if I say it that way. I always conjugate "to lie" (as in recline)correctly, though, even though I think that one''s misapplied across the board. And I always use "whom" for objective case.

I think many people want to speak correctly--that''s why they overcompensate with unnecessary "whoms" and "for DH and I," etc. The poster was on her cart for at least a month and no one else noticed the mistake. One time my classes and I couldn''t figure out the answer to a grammar question, so I emailed the whole department and the retired department chair, who forwarded it to several grammar mavens. I got three distinctly different answers and a bunch of, "Ugh, I hate grammar! I don''t know!" responses, and this was from English teachers! One teacher finally provided the right answer.

The sentence was something like, "We elected Obama president," and the question was the role of "president" is in that sentence. (BTW, the exercise gave answer choices of subject, predicate nominative, direct object, indirect object, and object of the preposition.)

I think we are just seeing the effects of people reading less (or at least reading sophisticated writing less) and the movement away from teaching grammar by rules and sentence diagramming and toward correcting problems as they are spotted (if the teachers can even spot them!).

 

[D&T]

Date: 6/16/2009 10:51:25 PM
Author: somethingshiny
You have no idea how hard it is to not correct someone who is telling you that ''Tylenol'' is pronounced ''tide and all''!!! Or that the plural of ''deer'' is ''deers''!

lol... can you just ask for the Tylenol and say it slowly enunciating the word correctly in front of the person? or would that just go over their head?