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Home what do you call your inlaws??

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by their first names.

when my mom''s partner was still alive, he was the same age as my grandma and even he would call her "grandma"! haha.
 
I call my inlaws by their first names, and DH does the same for my parents. DH is very close to his grandmother who he calls Nanna, and I call her that too! Not sure why, I just always have!
 
If I like my inlaws better I would not mind calling them mom and dad since that is what is done in my culture (Chinese). DH likes his stepmom and tolerates his stepdad, and he calls them by first name, so I don''t feel calling FIL and MIL by their 1st names is inappropriate at all.
 
I always felt uncomfortable knowing what to call my in laws so I avoided the issue. My husband and my SIL called my parents by their first names but I never wanted to do that.
My son is not married but when he has had serious girl friends they have called me Mom and it never
occurred to me that it would be disrespectful to their own mothers. I just don''t think that way. I am fine with Mom
or a nickname but not being called by my first name.
To me it would be like my son calling me by my first name.
 
by the way, just wanted to add that calling my in-laws by their first names has nothing to do with how I feel about them. they are like my own parents to me.

when my brother was staying with my parents-in-law during our wedding, my FIL said he got another son. it just amazes how loving and inviting they are!
 
We''ve agreed to call our in-laws Mom & Dad, but I have yet to say it to them. I''m trying to adjust to it by saying it to DH in casual conversation, but I still think I may ask his parents if they''re ''okay'' with it. I know my own parents want DH to call them "Mom" and "Dad", as they''ve always used those titles with their own in-laws. This is how I know they won''t take offense if I start using mom/dad titles with mine.
 
I''ve always called them by their first names and will continue to do so. I don''t think it''s very common over here to call your in-laws mom and dad.
 
Yeah not calling them mom and dad has nothing to do with my comfort level or feelings toward them. I love them very much, but I have a mom and dad thank you. I never got the whole "mom and dad" to your inlaws thing. They arent your parents, it creeps me out to be honest.

LOL tlh, I do the same thing. I only call his''s dad by his first name when its necessary (as in- conversation with other people and I''m referring to him, or if I need to get his attention). Otherwise, I just start talking! hehe
 
We call them by their first names.
 
I call my IL my their first names. For those of you like me who don''t call them Mom and Dad what do you address cards to them as that are from both you and your husband?
 
Date: 1/1/2010 1:38:15 PM
Author: NakedFinger
Yeah not calling them mom and dad has nothing to do with my comfort level or feelings toward them. I love them very much, but I have a mom and dad thank you. I never got the whole ''mom and dad'' to your inlaws thing. They arent your parents, it creeps me out to be honest.
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+1. My MIL really wants me to call her mom, but I find it so unnatural. It''s actually a bit of a relief to me that our language barrier prevents us from talking frequently!
 
I call my MIL either by her first name or "mom". I call my mom "Ma", so there is a difference... like, I would never call MIL "Ma".
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DH''s dad lives 1000 miles away, so I don''t see him too often. He known as "Big Tim" to family... DH is Tim (or Timmy to older relatives). So I call him Big Tim when I see him.

DH calls my mom "Ma", and my dad by his first name.

Both sets of our parents are divorced. His mom remarried, and his stepdad we both call by his first name. Same for my stepmom. Or I half-jokingly refer to her as the ''evil stepmother'' lol
 
Date: 1/1/2010 1:38:15 PM
Author: NakedFinger
I never got the whole ''mom and dad'' to your inlaws thing. They arent your parents, it creeps me out to be honest.
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I''ve been trying for days to think of a way to respond to this without a knee-jerk reaction. I''m a little offended!

My in-laws may not be my biological parents, and my parents are not DH''s, but both families have been incredibly happy to welcome another family member, and both mothers love to go on and on about how they have three or six kids now instead of two and five, and have said they couldn''t wait to have another son/daughter.

In marrying, we became part of each others'' families for better or worse, for the rest of our lives. And since they''ve readily welcomed another child, I have no problem welcoming my in-laws as parent figures. When I call her "Mom", NEITHER of us (nor anyone else!) is under the impression that I don''t love my own mother as much as before, or that DH''s mom really is my mother. It''s a sign of comfort and respect, IMHO.

So maybe even if you won''t find that level of comfort yourself, now you understand how the rest of us feel.
 
Date: 1/3/2010 9:48:45 AM
Author: KatyWI
Date: 1/1/2010 1:38:15 PM

Author: NakedFinger

I never got the whole 'mom and dad' to your inlaws thing. They arent your parents, it creeps me out to be honest.
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I've been trying for days to think of a way to respond to this without a knee-jerk reaction. I'm a little offended!


My in-laws may not be my biological parents, and my parents are not DH's, but both families have been incredibly happy to welcome another family member, and both mothers love to go on and on about how they have three or six kids now instead of two and five, and have said they couldn't wait to have another son/daughter.


In marrying, we became part of each others' families for better or worse, for the rest of our lives. And since they've readily welcomed another child, I have no problem welcoming my in-laws as parent figures. When I call her 'Mom', NEITHER of us (nor anyone else!) is under the impression that I don't love my own mother as much as before, or that DH's mom really is my mother. It's a sign of comfort and respect, IMHO.


So maybe even if you won't find that level of comfort yourself, now you understand how the rest of us feel.
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Don't mean to offend. I totally get and respect where you and others are coming from, and have no problem with people calling their in-laws Mom & Dad if that is what they feel comfortable with. For me though personally, its very odd. I dont think I could ever bring myself to do it, even if they wanted me to.

For me, I have an unconditional love for my parents, and love them more than anything else in the world. We have a very close relationship, and the title "Mom" or "Dad" for me will only ever be used endearingly toward my parents. I respect them and care for them so much, that calling someone else those names would be unnatural for me. Its like Elmorton said, "Calling DH's parents "Mom" or "Dad" would be hurtful to my parents, I think. Now, if I didn't have a parental relationship at all and my in-laws had basically taken me in as their own child, maybe "Mom" would be more appropriate...but I just don't think it's appropriate to call in-laws the names that are reserved for your own parents."

Those titles are reserved for my parents, who raised me, and for no one else. I'm not implying as you stated that people dont "know" i have my own parents if I call my inlaws Mom & Dad, of course they do. I just choose to only call my real parents that. And its not because I dont have a level of comfort with my inlaws. Like I said in the rest of my post, it has nothing to do with a lack of affection. They welcomed me in as the daughter they never had, we love each other very much, even his aunts and uncles call me their "niece" and his cousins call me their "cousin". I just personally cant bring myself to share a title with his parents that in my opinion carries so much weight with two other very important people in my life.
 
Date: 1/3/2010 12:37:56 PM
Author: NakedFinger

Date: 1/3/2010 9:48:45 AM
Author: KatyWI

Date: 1/1/2010 1:38:15 PM

Author: NakedFinger

I never got the whole ''mom and dad'' to your inlaws thing. They arent your parents, it creeps me out to be honest.
Click to expand...


I''ve been trying for days to think of a way to respond to this without a knee-jerk reaction. I''m a little offended!


My in-laws may not be my biological parents, and my parents are not DH''s, but both families have been incredibly happy to welcome another family member, and both mothers love to go on and on about how they have three or six kids now instead of two and five, and have said they couldn''t wait to have another son/daughter.


In marrying, we became part of each others'' families for better or worse, for the rest of our lives. And since they''ve readily welcomed another child, I have no problem welcoming my in-laws as parent figures. When I call her ''Mom'', NEITHER of us (nor anyone else!) is under the impression that I don''t love my own mother as much as before, or that DH''s mom really is my mother. It''s a sign of comfort and respect, IMHO.


So maybe even if you won''t find that level of comfort yourself, now you understand how the rest of us feel.
Click to expand...

Don''t mean to offend. I totally get and respect where you and others are coming from, and have no problem with people calling their in-laws Mom & Dad if that is what they feel comfortable with. For me though personally, its very odd. I dont think I could ever bring myself to do it, even if they wanted me to.

For me, I have an unconditional love for my parents, and love them more than anything else in the world. We have a very close relationship, and the title ''Mom'' or ''Dad'' for me will only ever be used endearingly toward my parents. I respect them and care for them so much, that calling someone else those names would be unnatural for me. Its like Elmorton said, ''Calling DH''s parents ''Mom'' or ''Dad'' would be hurtful to my parents, I think. Now, if I didn''t have a parental relationship at all and my in-laws had basically taken me in as their own child, maybe ''Mom'' would be more appropriate...but I just don''t think it''s appropriate to call in-laws the names that are reserved for your own parents.''

Those titles are reserved for my parents, who raised me, and for no one else. I''m not implying as you stated that people dont ''know'' i have my own parents if I call my inlaws Mom & Dad, of course they do. I just choose to only call my real parents that. And its not because I dont have a level of comfort with my inlaws. Like I said in the rest of my post, it has nothing to do with a lack of affection. They welcomed me in as the daughter they never had, we love each other very much, even his aunts and uncles call me their ''niece'' and his cousins call me their ''cousin''. I just personally cant bring myself to share a title with his parents that in my opinion carries so much weight with two other very important people in my life.
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I agree with NakedFinger. I don''t think she meant to hurt or insult anyone who calls their IL Mom and Dad. My own mother would call her IL Mom and Dad. I always would ask her why when I was younger because I knew they were my dad''s parents not hers.

I think for some of us the title of Mom and Dad is so special and only belongs to one set of people. To others they can give those titles to others. Some people where bought up by more then one set of parents due to divorce or other circumstances.

I call my husband''s aunts, uncles and grandparents my aunt, uncle and grandmother. But that is more easy for me because I have multiple aunts, uncles and grandparents already. I guess in a way that is what it is like for parents to welcome another child into their lives as their own- they already (or it is possible) to have more then one.

I don''t think either way is right or wrong- just a personal preference.
 
I don''t think it''s very common in the UK at all - on NYE I was at a party with some friends one of whom was saying that his cousin''s new wife was calling the cousin''s parents ''Mum'' and ''Dad''. The general consensus I''m afraid was that this was a bit ''Ewww'' and as Naked Finger said, a bit ''creepy''. Certainly I don''t know anyone IRL who does it.

Personally I call DH''s parents and their partners by their first names and he does the same with mine. I get on extremely well with all of them, but I have my own parents and would feel it was inappropriate to use those terms for people who didn''t raise me.

As the eldest child I grew up calling my parents as much by their first names as by ''mummy'' and ''daddy'' so the use of those words is particularly important to me as I don''t use them that often, my father almost always signs things to me with his first name. It happened as they always said ''Go and give it to X'' when I was little rather than ''Go and give it to Mummy''...

I would be very hurt if my daughter chose to call her MIL ''mummy'' in the future and I would be furious if my brother''s wife called my parents ''Mummy'' and ''Daddy''.

Cards - MIL signs them Janet/Mum and FIL signs them with his first name only. My parents use first names unless they are only writing to me. I write all the cards etc in our house and they go to first names on both sides.

ETA: Just out of interest, what happens if people divorce? If you remain on good terms with the ILs, do you call them a different name or stick with Mom and Dad? If you remarry what do you call the next lot?
 
I call them by their first names
 
I call MIL and FIL Mom and Dad. DH and I decided that was appropriate, and our parents are fine with it. Maybe it''s because I call my parents Mama and Daddy, so I"m not using the same name for my inlaws as I use for my own parents (if that makes any sense). Same with DH- he calls his mother Mama, and my mom Mom. It works for us, and it''s not "creepy" at all.
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I call my ILs by their first names. DH calls my dad by his first name and my mom "mei mei" which is a our dialect''s version of aunt/step-mom/older female relative. My parents had almost an hour long discussion on what DH would call them once they got married. DH was planning on just calling them Mr. & Mrs. MaidenName, but I had to tell him I don''t want him to. And I had to tell my dad to tell DH to use first names. Why are men so out of it sometimes...?
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J/K... sorta.

~Lisa
 
Date: 12/28/2009 3:34:09 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
I call them Mom and Dad, not because they are MY parents, but because they are my DH''s, and they are very important to my life now. But I am one of those lucky people that get along fabulously with my IL''s
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I''m the same here, I call them Mom and Dad. It took a LONG time to do that though. For a while it was Mr. and Mrs, then their first names, now Mom and Dad, since we''re married. For the LONGEST time MIL signed cards from them with their full first AND last names. It was odd, this years xmas card just had Mom and Dad. It was nice.
 
Date: 1/3/2010 1:12:42 AM
Author: JerseyGrl81
I call my IL my their first names. For those of you like me who don''t call them Mom and Dad what do you address cards to them as that are from both you and your husband?
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because they sign "Mom and Dad" on their cards and letters address to the both of us, when we write them something from the both of us, we also write Mom and Dad.
 
I call MIL and FIL by their first name unless I''m talking to JT about them and then it''s Nana and Papa. DH calls my parents by their first names too. I call his grandparents Grandma or Grandpa first name. I started calling them Gma and Gpa the day that DH''s grandma came up to me and gave me a big hug at Christmas (before we were married) and told me she loved me. I miss her.
 
First names only, we''re not really close. DH on the other hand, calls my parents mom and dad.
 
I call my ILs by their first names. At first, I tried to avoid calling them anything but that got old quick!

My sister calls her ILs Mom and Dad but calls my step-dad by his first name. It rubs me the wrong way for some reason. I kind of feel bad for my step-dad when we''re all together. He probably doesn''t give a crap but I can''t help but be annoyed on his behalf!
 
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