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Wedding What DID and DIDN''T you regret splurging on?

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Gypsy

Gypsy

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This is for everyone, but probably most applicable to those who are already married.
For the wedding:
What items, service etc did you spulrge on that you regret splurging on... like you look back and think-- I could have gotten the less expensive version of X and I don't think anyone would have noticed.

And what items, services etc are you REALLY HAPPY you did splurge on, despite initial trepidation??
 
I don''t regret spending the money on the food... it was fabulous! The caterers told us that we were picking a lot of high end items (it was a hors d''ourves buffet) but now they have reported that people are asking for a buffet "like at Summer''s wedding" and it is now the "new benchmark". My mom is glowing having set a trend. ha.

I don''t know that I really regret anything, actually... I didn''t have a lot of "excess" stuff. We didn''t do favors (and I don''t regret that), and we didn''t do anything cutesy or "wedding-ish". Just what we wanted. There wasn''t a lot of "stuff" at our wedding.

Oh... we didn''t get a cake server set, and I''m totally ok with that. I''d thought we would have one, but never got around to it. Doesn''t bother me at all. We used the silver that the club provided and that was more than fine.
 
Oh I really want to hear the responses. Just got a quote back from photographer/videographer and I nearly fainted. Of course, that is taking into account the whole ''''I look like poopy in pics'''' I really hope someone says ''''I regret spending on photos''''
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Can't think of anything I regret splurging on, but our wedding was really pretty pared down budget-wise to start with. I am SO SO SO happy we splurged on photography, despite the fact it was the one item giving me heartburn beforehand. And I'm so glad I rented a B&B for the whole weekend to serve as both lodging for OOT guests and our rain venue.

ETA: Sorry, Ally!
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We splurged on the classical guitarist who, to a person, was a crowd pleaser. He was a professional who had trained with some of the great musicians of our time, and it showed.

We did not splurge because she is a friend (who offered us a steal of a deal), but we would have splurged on our photographer. We hired the very best, and it shows in the photos. No one could have done a better job for us.

We splurged on a country inn location which was inclusive of most everything. They know what they''re doing, right down to the fabulous food.

But, I have to admit, splurging in our neck of the woods is considerably less stratospheric than some other regions of the country.


We did not splurge on favors (our wedding planner assured us that many get left behind), invitations (I didn''t want anything too labor intensive for me!), decor (simple candles and florals suited our venue perfectly), special table linens in expensive fabrics (price far exceeds actual impact as decor).
 
We regret spending a lot of money on the wedding night hotel! I can''t even remember anything about it we were so tired, and then we checked out early the next day. Would have been better to not have spent so much $!
 
Our wedding isn''t for another couple of weeks but I already regret not spending a little more on the photographer. Our''s takes some decent, some not so decent, and a few great shots and they are terrible at communicating. I just saw on my credit card statement that they already put my remaining balance on the card we used for the deposit. The owner called me and specifically asked if I was going to be using the same card and I said "probably not,I''ll get back to you on it". Well lo and behold, he charged my card and won''t return my calls!
 
Date: 4/30/2008 1:40:55 PM
Author: oobiecoo
Our wedding isn''t for another couple of weeks but I already regret not spending a little more on the photographer. Our''s takes some decent, some not so decent, and a few great shots and they are terrible at communicating. I just saw on my credit card statement that they already put my remaining balance on the card we used for the deposit. The owner called me and specifically asked if I was going to be using the same card and I said ''probably not,I''ll get back to you on it''. Well lo and behold, he charged my card and won''t return my calls!
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That is not good! Any other way to get in touch with him? Try blocking your number? Have you thought about disputing the charge?
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Food and alcohol. Our wedding was really small, so we were able to really splurge on these things without the budget getting way out of hand. The food was important to us, so that was a priority.

The dress. My dress wasn't as much as I thought I'd have to spend, but the moment I bought it I had this sinking "buyers remorse" feeling. The whole engagement period I somewhat regretted buying something so expensive that I'd wear for a day. When I put it on the day of the wedding, though, I nearly cried. I felt beautiful and so elegant in a gown that had been perfectly tailored to my body--any feeling of regret melted away quickly!

Gifts. Having so few guests and only a few people IN the wedding allowed us to spend money on accommodations, personalized welcome bags, nice gifts for my MOH and his groomsmen, etc. I was glad to make everybody feel appreciated for coming.

There are a few things I wish I hadn't been so cheap with, though, mainly the photographer. I wanted a landscape photographer to capture our outdoor ceremony and reception--he did weddings, but preferred landscape photography over weddings. He did a great job, but I don't think he was as seasoned as some wedding photographers. I liked him, I just wish I'd maybe hired a more traditional photographer in addition to him or something.
 
I''ve left a message and sent an email. I''m going to call again after classes today. I only called him yesterday but I still feel like he should have gotten back to me already on a matter as important as an unauthorized charge!
 
i''m not even married yet and can already answer on some things! i seriously regret plunking down the dough for the largest package available at our venue because we''re not even using most of what we paid extra for, and they won''t let us downgrade the package, so GGRRR. i also feel serious guilt for paying as much as i did for my wedding dress--i always figured i''d be a $200 david''s bridal bride, but i actually spent $800 on my dress. i''m hoping i''ll have a newenglandlady moment and not regret it once i put it on for the wedding! everything else i comparison shopped for so well that i feel i got a killer deal on. for example, my cousin paid $10,000 for the largest package her photographer offered; our photographer offered us a larger package than that for under $4,000, and IMO, her pictures are better, and she''s an absolute JOY to work with, so i can''t wait. our caterer is also incredible, and that''ll be our biggest wedding splurge, but well worth it because, for $5000, we''re getting a silly amount of food and for close to 200 people, too--gotta love the prices of italian cuisine! i''m also feeling bad about how much i''m going to spend on invites because they''re disposable, but my designer''s work is just so gorgeous that i couldn''t NOT do it!
 
We had the least lavish wedding, aside from a civil ceremony, that you could possibly imagine. It was held in a chapel and we had 10 guests - no pro pictures, no gorgeous dress, small reception etc. etc. Why? Two reasons: My parents didn''t like my choice of husband, and we had just put all our savings ($1200- 1963 dollars) into the downpayment for a house.
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. Back in those days, you didn''t live together under any circumstances.

The good part is that we''re still married and happy, but thinking back, I regret not having had at least a semi-lavish wedding with some decent pro pictures to show our kids and grandkids.
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My advice to all of you brides-to- be: It''s going to be one of the most special and memorable days of your life: plan it accordingly
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Date: 4/30/2008 1:20:53 PM
Author: sumbride
I don''t regret spending the money on the food... it was fabulous! The caterers told us that we were picking a lot of high end items (it was a hors d''ourves buffet) but now they have reported that people are asking for a buffet ''like at Summer''s wedding'' and it is now the ''new benchmark''. My mom is glowing having set a trend. ha.

I don''t know that I really regret anything, actually... I didn''t have a lot of ''excess'' stuff. We didn''t do favors (and I don''t regret that), and we didn''t do anything cutesy or ''wedding-ish''. Just what we wanted. There wasn''t a lot of ''stuff'' at our wedding.

Oh... we didn''t get a cake server set, and I''m totally ok with that. I''d thought we would have one, but never got around to it. Doesn''t bother me at all. We used the silver that the club provided and that was more than fine.
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I''m not married yet but we''re not having a lot of cutesy or excess stuff, as Sumbride said, at our wedding either. We decided not to do favors (although we are doing simple welcome bags for hotel guests). I''m okay with that -- it''s one less thing to worry about and plan for.

We''re not having a cake, we''re doing a dessert buffet instead. We knew all along that we didn''t want a wedding cake, and I don''t think we''ll regret that decision. I love looking at everyone''s cakes, but we wanted to have lots of options, so this worked out for well for us.

We may regret not splurging more on a photographer and I really hope we love what she does for us, but right now, we''re pleased that we''re saving money.

I''m happy that we''re staying in the honeymoon suite for three nights. My parents booked 2 nights for us, and I just called to reserve the Thursday night before the wedding as well. We''re paying for that, and I''m happy.

I''m REALLY excited about our new honeymoon destination. It turns out that we''re going to save a ton of money, so that''s great! We''ll still splurge on romantic dinners, etc., but it will be way less than what it would have been if we kept our original plans.
 
So far I''ve only splurged on a couple of things:

My invitations - very formal and plain but I''m having them hand-engraved by one of the engravers from the Bank of England. They are costing me double just for that, but I would regret it forever if I hadn''t.

My dress - I had the final toile fitting last Saturday. My dressmaker is 26 and absolutely lovely as well as being super-talented. Even though it was still in calico it still looked amazing. She did nearly kill me for going down 2-3 dress sizes since the last fitting, although now was the time to do it before we start on the real thing.

I can''t think of anything I regret yet...
 
This is great! So many intersting posts. I obviously haven''t had the wedding yet, but...

I am already second guessing my flower choices. My flowers are very important to me. I love flowers, used to work as a florist, and our reception hall is very plain. But they cost a lot, even with the great deal I am getting, and I am seriously considering cutting back on the expense of them as I wonder if anyone, but me, will really notice and appreciate them.

My tablecloths are giving me fits. I''m thinking of nixing them and going to runners (actually rented chair sashes doubling as runners) as it would cost significantly less and also be considerably easier to arrange. But I''m afraid the hall will be too plain. ESPECIALLY if I cut back flowers.
 
For what it''s worth, Gypsy, I rarely notice flowers, and when I do notice them it''s because the centerpieces are huge and the only thing I can see when seated at the reception.

I also love flowers, adore them actually, and I used to work at a flower shop, too.

I ordered our flowers from proflowers.com off of a PS recommendation. It was easy and I think relatively inexpensive ($2200 for bouquets, centerpieces, bouts, corsages, and flower girl flowers.)

I say cut down on the flowers. You are going to make the room beautiful as the glowing bride, and my guess is all eyes will be on you and not the flowers, anyway.
 
FWIW, as a fellow flower lover, that''s the first thing I look at
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I''m not married yet.

I splurged on my venue. It was more pricey than our second choice by quite a bit, but we really fell in love with it. I don''t regret it because our second choice told us that we could not reserve more than 1 year in advance, but assured us that it would be no problem. Then when we checked later to try to set up a brunch there, they had scheduled a regatta for our weekend so were not available for any events.

We also splurged on our photographer. But she is the best and photography was the most most important thing for me.

My parents are splurging on food, but that''s their thing.

I came in under budget on my dress, though I don''t see it as a compromise because I love it just as much as those I tried on that were twice the price.

I am not splurging on flowers. I went with a newer florist who doesn''t have the portfolio that some of the more established florists have. But she is really easy to work with and super cheap (<$1500 for everything). It remains to be seen if she can recreate my vision, though.
 
Date: 4/30/2008 5:40:57 PM
Author: Haven
For what it's worth, Gypsy, I rarely notice flowers, and when I do notice them it's because the centerpieces are huge and the only thing I can see when seated at the reception.

I also love flowers, adore them actually, and I used to work at a flower shop, too.

I ordered our flowers from proflowers.com off of a PS recommendation. It was easy and I think relatively inexpensive ($2200 for bouquets, centerpieces, bouts, corsages, and flower girl flowers.)

I say cut down on the flowers. You are going to make the room beautiful as the glowing bride, and my guess is all eyes will be on you and not the flowers, anyway.
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Yeah. I'm leaning that way. I'm thinking of asking for snap dragons instead of white orchid sprays in the centerpiece arrangements.

Isaku-- I notice them first too. I really do. But as long as they are nice, I'm wondering if anyone but ME will care if there are orchids sprays or snap dragon sprays. I'm also thinking of nixing the flower petal "gutters" for the ceremony. And just asking for a handful sprinkled in the aisle. Cutting back on headtable so there are only candles, the cake topper I bought that I love and AM NOT using as a cake topper (never intended to use it as a cake topper) and some flower petals.

I'm paying about $1950 for everything right now. I think I could save about 250 by making the changes above. So, again... I'm wondering if it's worth cutting back. Not sure.
 
I''m the wrong person to ask about saving money on flowers of any sort......I''m the flower enabler!
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Do you have other guests who love flowers too?
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Gypsy - $250 is not a lot in the grand scheme of things. Given the fact that the flowers seem to be so important to you, I think you should just get what you want. Even if no one else notices it - you will!
 
gypsy, you just have to decide if you''re going to regret tailoring your flowers for such a small difference in the budget. if you love them that much and not having your original vision is going to bother you, $250 isn''t all that much. i lucked up on mine--i LOOOOVE orchids, but i didn''t think we''d be able to have them because they''re so pricey. thank GOD, my florist loves orchids as much as i do, so she charges the same for them as as she does for roses so that she can work with them more often. we''re paying $1500 for 20 centerpieces, a mantel arrangement, 7 bouquets, 7 bouts, plus however many bouts, etc. we need for parents, grandparents, officiant, etc. would it be possible to tweak your arrangement somewhat to cut down price without taking away from what you envisioned?
 
Date: 4/30/2008 7:17:27 PM
Author: basil
Gypsy - $250 is not a lot in the grand scheme of things. Given the fact that the flowers seem to be so important to you, I think you should just get what you want. Even if no one else notices it - you will!
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ITA.
 
Okay. I'm going to go with the flower enablers-- basil, doodle and Isabel. And yes, we'll have a few people at the wedding who are professional wedding critics (sarcasm, they just like to complain) and my cousins owned a chain of flower stores before they sold them, so they will be there too. It's not a huge savings. To do that I would have to do high/low centerpieces instead of all high, and I'm not willing to go there. THANK YOU LADIES. I AM saving money by RENTING (you read that right) my earrings. That counts, right?

Doodle... before I throw a fit about the high price of things in Nor Cal... what do you plan for centerpieces (do you have a pic) and where are you located?
 
RENTING your earrings? From where? And what happened to losing 15 lbs and buying yourself those other ones?
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Date: 4/30/2008 8:26:11 PM
Author: FrekeChild
RENTING your earrings? From where? And what happened to losing 15 lbs and buying yourself those other ones?
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Well. A bride on another board has the exact earrings I wanted to buy (although hers all all crystals including the drops, instead of pearl drops like I planned on buying). She''s local and offered to let me rent them from her for a nominal fee. I''m not that sentimental so I was like ''great''! So I get to wear the earrings I love, without paying the purchase price for them. As for the weight. I still REALLY need to lose it. But I figure, I can use something ELSE as motivation. I get my cake and eat it too (as long as it has no calories and helps me lose weight).
 
Date: 4/30/2008 8:45:28 PM
Author: Gypsy
Date: 4/30/2008 8:26:11 PM

Author: FrekeChild

RENTING your earrings? From where? And what happened to losing 15 lbs and buying yourself those other ones?
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Well. A bride on another board has the exact earrings I wanted to buy (although hers all all crystals including the drops, instead of pearl drops like I planned on buying). She''s local and offered to let me rent them from her for a nominal fee. I''m not that sentimental so I was like ''great''! So I get to wear the earrings I love, without paying the purchase price for them. As for the weight. I still REALLY need to lose it. But I figure, I can use something ELSE as motivation. I get my cake and eat it too (as long as it has no calories and helps me lose weight).
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Sorry for thread-jacking, but Gypsy I still need to lose weight, too.
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I''ve been trying to do little things, let''s hope it helps.
 
Hm what about substituting your earrings with a pair of kick a$$ shoes. Nice motivation. Or maybe that''s just me....
 
I''ve said this before in this forum, but I regret splurging on the honeymoon... we were exhausted and didn''t enjoy the vacation as much as we would have a few months later. And, I just love Mexico so I felt like we overspent by going to the Caribbean - Mexico has prettier beaches and just feels more authentic.

Other than that, honestly, no regrets on any of it. We splurged on an amazing wedding suite, which was the perfect place to get ready as well. We spent a bunch of money on photography (package, prints, album - we did the whole thing pretty much to the max), and I look at our photos all the time and love all of the pics. I had my hair and makeup done by a pro as did my mom, and it''s the most beautiful I think either of us have ever looked. We splurged on food and the bar, which was a great thing - the food was amazing and um, the party was too :)

We went simple (but quality!) on a LOT of things, and I don''t have regrets there, either. I had minimal, but beautiful flowers. We had student musicians from a local college known for its arts programs. We DIYed most of our stationary (but I love the invitations that I ordered from Jean M - glad I didn''t DIY that!).
 
Date: 4/30/2008 10:38:42 PM
Author: lliang_chi
Hm what about substituting your earrings with a pair of kick a$$ shoes. Nice motivation. Or maybe that's just me....
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Definitely a thought! Something nice, certainly. I was actually thinking that IF I lost weight AND got a new job I would get myself a Jeff White gem. An asscher, a green asscher from Jeff White. Something that will last me. But I haven't discussed it yet. And WF bangle or diamond huggies are on the possibles list too. Depends on how much I achieve.

Although.. EL's post got me thinking about a trip to Mexico as a reward. That sounds like something that I actually WOULD work toward. Hmm. Mexico.
 
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