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What are your quirky deal breakers?

missy said:
So funny because in many ways Greg is like my dad. Warm, wonderful, generous, kind, mad funny and sharp as a tack. But in appearance they look nothing alike. Thank goodness for that haha. I always say I lucked out because I have the 2 most wonderful men in my life. My dh and my dad. I love them both so much and they are such amazing men.
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My parents are a piece of work.

Profiteering, abusive, violent, erratic, close minded, severe God complex, gaslighting, live in their own reality whereby they are superior to everyone else, delusional

Hubs and I have a theory that because they are so awful, they left no room for any fantasies whereby I marry someone as awful as them to "fix" the past. They were the perfect amount of awful that was enough for me to think "Yowsers, I need to get out of here."
 
My list is so long you don’t have time to read it.
But on the « deal » list, it’s easy...
Kind
Trustworthy
Respectful to all animals and humans
Intelligent
Sense of humor
Loves me lots.
 
mellowyellowgirl said:
My parents are a piece of work.

Profiteering, abusive, violent, erratic, close minded, severe God complex, gaslighting, live in their own reality whereby they are superior to everyone else, delusional

Hubs and I have a theory that because they are so awful, they left no room for any fantasies whereby I marry someone as awful as them to "fix" the past. They were the perfect amount of awful that was enough for me to think "Yowsers, I need to get out of here."
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I am so sorry. What a horrible reality you had to endure. :(
You overcame despite the challenges you experienced at such a young age and look at you and your family now. Amazing. Sending you (((hugs))) and all the best for a happy and healthy and blingy New Year. @mellowyellowgirl you are such a wonderful person from what I can see on PS and truly amazing to have gone through all that and become who you are.
 
Jimmianne said:
My list is so long you don’t have time to read it.
But on the « deal » list, it’s easy...
Kind
Trustworthy
Respectful to all animals and humans
Intelligent
Sense of humor
Loves me lots.
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Not so long at all and a big Amen to your list. You hit all the highlights indeed. XO. (And by the way, I love you lots. I know it's not the same thing but still...)
 
missy said:
I am so sorry. What a horrible reality you had to endure. :(
You overcame despite the challenges you experienced at such a young age and look at you and your family now. Amazing. Sending you (((hugs))) and all the best for a happy and healthy and blingy New Year. @mellowyellowgirl you are such a wonderful person from what I can see on PS and truly amazing to have gone through all that and become who you are.
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No worries hun! I really am fine now and have so much to be thankful for.

There are lots of challenges in the world. I still think mine were manageable compared to many, many other things.

Getting back to the thread:

Anyone who adores skiing holidays or the cold. I hate the bitter cold and hate wearing clothes. Loathe wearing layers. It would be very challenging for me to have a relationship with someone who loved skiing and loved the snow because I'd be miserable on a skiing holiday in pants.

My bestie actually didn't pursue online dating with a perfectly nice fellow because of this. She loves layers and rugs up but she runs so very cold. She met a lovely ski enthusiast online but decided not to go there since she just could not bear the cold. He was really into snow. Had hopes to move somewhere where it snowed and the only vacations he took were at the snow.
 
Omg spitting, yeah that is gross and a total turnoff. My sons know not to spit so anyone I'm with should know better too.
 
Mamabean said:
My dog, Bailey, does the same thing! He runs for the carpet with me making a mad dash behind him..He usually wins. I’ve learned to leave bath mats around..He’ll aim for those now..:appl:
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That’s very considerate of him! :lol:
 
JPie said:
That’s very considerate of him! :lol:
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The funny thing he always gets a biscuit after doing poo or pee outside. Now he wants a cookie after vomiting on the bath mat!! :lol:
 
Mamabean said:
The funny thing he always gets a biscuit after doing poo or pee outside. Now he wants a cookie after vomiting on the bath mat!! :lol:
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Gotta love dog logic! :lol-2:
 
I agree with most of things already posted, surprised that so many of you agree with me that facial hair is deal breaker. Other deal breakers for me:

Bad table manners
Scraggily unkempt hair
Potty mouth
Impatience/rudeness
 
Mamabean said:
The funny thing he always gets a biscuit after doing poo or pee outside. Now he wants a cookie after vomiting on the bath mat!! :lol:
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LOLOLOLOLOL
 
HI:

A partner who doesn't like fragrance/perfume.

cheers--Sharon
 
Oh. Yeah. Speaking of fragrance, I don’t think I could have a partner who smelled bad to me.

I read somewhere that different people have different preferences for how a person smells that might be related to genetics somehow. I’ve definitely had partners whose natural scent I just didn’t like so it made cuddling awkward and I felt bad about asking them to put on deodorant constantly...
 
The whole smell thing is interesting.
I've read the natural smell of mens' armpits makes women ovulate, and aren't there pheromones in there that are an aphrodisiac?
I believe some of those components make their way into colognes.

Then there's the whole industry that makes billion:$$): from deodorant.
One view is those companies, through ads and the radio/TV/film content itself that they pay to support, have brainwashed us to think what's natural is bad so we must buy something they make.
"Invent a problem, sell em the solution, works for products, including of course religions.
 
Speaking of the BO thing ...

There's an interesting little corner of the gay world called bears.
Bears are men who accept what happens to some mens' bodies particularly as they age, they put on weight.

Then there is the hair thing.
Certain body hair is another natural thing society looks down on.
Conditioning and social pressure is why women in the west shave their legs and pits.
What's natural is unquestionably bad. :roll:
If you don't conform you're a social outcast.
They make zillions of bucks on products, waxing and electrolysis.

I say let people vary.
Let em have hair everywhere, or if they want let em have no hair anywhere.

Some men have hairy chests, shoulders, backs.
Society draws a line regarding what hair is acceptable and where not just for women, but for men too.
Many women in Europe don't shave pits or legs, yet many Muslim men shave their pits and pubes.
I think it's called for in the Koran.

Bear culture calls BS on the West's hair dictates.
Many bears, and their admirers (like Kenny), celebrate natural men, in scent and hair.
Obviously when out in public, especially at work, my SO and I wear deodorant.
I see it as being considerate to the brainwashed masses.
But on the weekends, nope.
 
Haha I actually like some people’s BO and not others. Not a judgement thing, just sort of reflex olfactory response. Certainly I don’t think people are shaming people’s preferences for (or against) their own body hair and odor expressions or that of their partners.
 
MakingTheGrade said:
Haha I actually like some people’s BO and not others. Not a judgement thing, just sort of reflex olfactory response. Certainly I don’t think people are shaming people’s preferences for (or against) their own body hair and odor expressions or that of their partners.
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I agree with you that nobody intentionally "shames" anyone.
The shaming originated with the corporations who manufactures the products to "solve" the "problem" they invented over 100 years ago.
We are educated and trained not just by parents, and schools, but also by religion, media: (radio TV films etc.)
The money in media comes from advertisers.
They provide more than ads, the influence content in the shows produced by media.
Media content that reflects well of the advertisers ( the hands that feed media) is encouraged.
Media content that reflects poorly on advertisers is discouraged, or forbidden ... and I'm not just talking about a show where Pepsi pays to have their can turned so the camera can see the PEPSI name.

We are not really free spirits, or blank canvases on which we paint our lives.
We have long been the bitches of media, which is the bitch of corporations.
Follow the money.
 
HI:

Another deal breaker. Preachers. :roll: :devil:

cheers--Sharon
 
Haha. Considering how much we all spend on diamonds here, let’s not pretend any of us are beyond the “social conditioning”. Having implicit bias is honestly part of the human condition, being aware and honest about It is at least a start.

As far as blank canvases are concerned there are whole complex arguments to be made for free will vs determinism. But that’s for my philosophy forums. This one is for good times and bling.
 
MakingTheGrade said:
Haha. Considering how much we all spend on diamonds here, let’s not pretend any of us are beyond the “social conditioning”. Having implicit bias is honestly part of the human condition, being aware and honest about It is at least a start.

As far as blank canvases are concerned there are whole complex arguments to be made for free will vs determinism. But that’s for my philosophy forums. This one is for good times and bling.
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Hangout is for everything that's not bling.
 
My DH's deal breaker: No sense of humor... goodbye.

My DH's laughing hysterically right now remembering last week when we went to get ice cream and the owner arrived with a big box and I asked him "is that a puppy" ?

LOL well everyone lost it but I wasn't trying to be (that) funny. I mean on some level I knew it wasn't a puppy but a girl can dream right? :lol:
 
When I first meet someone (potential friends as well):

No sense of humor
Doesn't "get" sarcasm
Vapid
Judgy
Lack of adventure
No "drive"
Nitpicks over a bill
Pushes their beliefs onto others
 
I don't have a conscious set of "deal breakers" though I also have to admit I'm basically not attracted to say 90% of men out there so I must have a subconscious list!
Big dealbreakers are smell bad -to me (I like how some men smell : ) I don't like smoking, or cruelty to people or animals, climate change denials or people who don't believe in science. I want someone gainfully employed, and is curious and likes to learn. Someone who wants to share my life.

The thing I often think about is I have been seing a guy for last couple years ago, keep asking, are these dealbreakers or not? I am with a guy whom we have fabulous chemistry, we enjoy each others company (things like, working on my house together -he has been a godsend, making meals, going on walks or dog walks, going on small trips) He is a decent man with a great work ethic, financially self sufficient. I appreciate his personality in no matter how crazy things are, he doesn't stress out. But- we have so little in common! He is more religious than me (and an different religion), I am a nerd with nerd or artist friends and he is a businessman and jock. So, 90+% of social stuff I do on my own as far as seeing friends, spending time with my kids, doing hobbies (which he is totally OK with me doing, just that he doesn't join me). Not into books or films. Sometimes it really bothers me, but then the times we are together are so pleasant. And he did join me and my kids for dinner the other night, and is going to help source work out items for her since that came up UGH! My brain is such that I want to figure things out and make a decision and I can't figure this out.

Eta we both have been previously married and neither of us is looking to rush into marriage. However I WOULD like to end up in a relationship where we live together, while I think he envisions us living together only when say kids are not involved (kids are grown up) otherwise have separate households. So, I think that is probably the biggest dealbreaker in that we have different priorities. Also his preference is to live in a large house with land; my preference is a smaller house with neighbors. So I'm living in my smaller home (and he is helping fix it up) and he has his 2 big houses.
 
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My first boyfriend was a hairy guy, hairy arms, hairy back, hairy butt (sorry for the tmi) and I guess that was a good thing because my husband is also a hairy guy although a little less so, well with the exception of his head lol!

Be as hairy as you want everywhere but keep that face clean shaven, I imagine as I get older he will ask the same of me...haha.
 
StephanieLynn said:
My first boyfriend was a hairy guy, hairy arms, hairy back, hairy butt (sorry for the tmi) and I guess that was a good thing because my husband is also a hairy guy although a little less so, well with the exception of his head lol!

Be as hairy as you want everywhere but keep that face clean shaven, I imagine as I get older he will ask the same of me...haha.
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You’re so funny @StephanieLynn! :lol:
 
Maria D said:
Did he at least thank the cat for throwing up on hardwood as opposed to carpet? All but one cat I've ever had would always run TO a carpeted area to puke!
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I guess this isn't really funny for my poor kitty, but I have a cat that starts making a noise before yakking as a warning. From there, I can usually run her to the bathroom in time to do her business into the toilet. The first time my husband saw it, we were newly married and living together and he had that look on his face like, "What did I just do?" haha

I can't contribute much more here. You guys hit the big ones-hygiene, motivation, mental match, pet acceptance, lack of major vices, parenting, etc... That said, I know I can be a "complex" person to get to know and get along with. I hope my big heart outweighs that! I think I've mellowed a bit with age, which probably isn't a bad thing.:lol:

eta @Maria D -the reason I quoted you-yes! I think they think it's grass or something. My dear Siamese I had until months shy of 20 did this. There could be one patch of carpet in a sea of hardwood and she would seek it out.
 
I don't find body hair a turn on or turn off either way. I've been with both hairy guys and also pretty hairless guys. I do have a preference for clean shaven faces but not a deal breaker. Hygeine, honesty, etc are more important. I do have a def preference for dark haired guys...
 
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