What are your quirky deal breakers?

[MakingTheGrade]

Most people have deal breakers for potential partners. Aside from the givens like being violent, abusive, irreconcilable religious/political views etc, what are some of your personal deal breakers?

Some of mine:
1. Doesn't love pets. I need fur babies in my life and can’t really be with partners who can’t be around them.
2. Vegan. Sorry I just can’t. I love cheese and ice cream and eggs and love sharing/splitting those things with partners when we go out to eat! Vegetarian I can work with. Not to say I don’t like veganism, it’s really the most ethical way to eat, but I love sharing food and a lot of the food I love is animal derived.
3. Smoking. I hate tobacco smoke.
4. Doesn’t read (or audiobook).
5. Big beards. I don’t know why but the texture just Bothers me.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Things I just can't deal with:

Smoking
Facial hair
Bad teeth or missing teeth
Treats certain people as beneath him (ex waiters or waitresses)
Dislikes animals
Stingy with money
Bad spelling or grammar
Arrogance
Always running late (pet peeve with everyone not just a partner)

 

[kenny]

Long list ... Since I'm so picky it's astonishing I've ever found an SO.
First, I admit I have many qualities that I would not tolerate in an SO.

Wants children, or can't accommodate Bibi
Crime, dishonesty
Drug use, tough alcohol's okay

Smoker, cheater, gambler
Poor dental care
Theist, religious, selfish - politically right wing with a personality and world outlook that is fear-based
Nationalist - fascist - flies a 15 foot confederate or US flag from his pick up truck
Superstitious, low self esteem, overly needing the approval of others
Poor critical thinking skills, gullible
Disrespects diversity, racist against any group, including caucasians

Not my type, physically or in personality
Controlling - though I admit to being controlling
Not affectionate, physically or otherwise
Wants to bring too many friends into our home too often
Wants to go out partying, which (because I don't) would he goes out alone
Has manipulative, invasive, controlling family members
Plays music in the house or car that I strongly dislike

Lack of initiative, lazy, especially around the house
Low IQ, though formal education level is less important
Income too high or low
Excessively PC ... has a stick in the ass sense of humor
Doesn't care about the environment, drives a gas pig that he doesn't legitimately need
Is a fashionista, buying new things when fashions change, before the old things wear out
Has to have the house all perfect

 

[yssie]

Smoking. Can’t stomach the smell!

Piety. Dedication to the various lifestyle constraints imposed by different organized religions - abstinence from certain foods, avoidance of certain activities, requirements to be at certain places at certain times, etc. - works for some people... But I’m not one of them, and I dislike the day-to-day divides that these constraints create between me and pious partners.

I come with cats, dogs, and horses. Figuratively and literally - most of my clothing has fur in it! If you’re allergic to them you’re effectively allergic to me

When buying a house I want my partner to care about the state of the roof and the water heater and leave the paint and backsplash to me. He’s allowed to have an opinion but I get final say on interior decor. But I also want him to gush over my choices, and I’ll get irritable if he doesn’t notice the new stool in the breakfast nook... Poor fellow can’t really win here!


I was once at a friend’s house and his cat threw up on the (hardwood) floor. He wiped it up with a paper towel. Ran two Lysol wipes over the area. Sprayed some 409, let that sit for half a minute, wiped up with another Lysol wipe, then finally dried everything off very thoroughly with more paper towels.

Me - when one of my zoo has an accident? A bit of Nature’s Miracle and a paper towel - half a paper towel if I can get away with it - and it’ll dry eventually. Acknowledging this makes me sound dreadful - I couldn’t deal with someone who’s that fastidious about cleaning up after animal messes

 

[stracci2000]

Dealbreakers (things I won't tolerate in a partner)

Smoking
Doesn't like animals (I need cats)
Church-goer/ religious (don't preach to me)
Needy (I'm not your mom)
Fussy or a neat-nick (my projects can get messy)
Doesn't appreciate or understand art (I need galleries and museums)
Picky eater (must like ethnic food)

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Poor or non-existent personal hygiene
Dirty clothes
Racist/homophobe
Ridicules the way other people look, how they dress, what they weigh or the way they talk
Cruel to animals
Spends thousands on mediocre watches and jewelry but criticizes people who buy top quality items

 

[missy]

1. Doesn't love animals
2. Isn't kind in general
3. Is unclean/dirty/unkempt
4. No sense of humor (very important)
5. Not strong emotionally
6. Not calm (because I am not and need someone to keep me calm and cool when I get upset)
7. Not grounded and down to earth
8. Religious/Preachy/Self Righteous/Hypocritical/Insincere/Sanctimonious
9. Not generous (emotionally and in other ways)
10. Facial hair...I hate beards and moustaches and stubble with a passion
11. Not crazy in love with me

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I’m glad I’m not the only gal not into this recent facial hair trend!

And yes, I couldn’t deal with anyone highly superstitious or who believes everything the TV said.

 

[Bron357]

1. not wanting a family (why I divorced my 1st husband)
2. Not liking dogs and birds (I came with both)
3. Not being calm ( I am hyper and need a calming influence)
4. Not having goals or aspirations (I don’t like lazy people)
5. Being a party animal (I’m not overly social)
6. Heavy drinker, gambler or smoker (not my style)

 

[dk168]

Long list for me too!

Does not like cat and/or dog
Smoker (pipe is ok)
Someone who has his fillet steak well done
Vegetarian and Vegan
Teetotaller
Fussy eater
Boring non-adventurous eater
Bad teeth
Dirty hands and fingernails
Does not like to cook
Hairy shoulders and back
A high pitch squeaky voice
Brummie/Birmingham accent
Bad table manner

That's what I can think of so far, and no wonder I am single!

DK

 

[Maria D]

I was once at a friend’s house and his cat threw up on the (hardwood) floor. He wiped it up with a paper towel. Ran two Lysol wipes over the area. Sprayed some 409, let that sit for half a minute, wiped up with another Lysol wipe, then finally dried everything off very thoroughly with more paper towels.

Did he at least thank the cat for throwing up on hardwood as opposed to carpet? All but one cat I've ever had would always run TO a carpeted area to puke!

 

[JPie]

Did he at least thank the cat for throwing up on hardwood as opposed to carpet? All but one cat I've ever had would always run TO a carpeted area to puke!

Same! My cat preferred puking on our bedroom carpet.

 

[lyra]

Non-smoker is one of the first things. Can't think of anything "quirky". I will say ambitious is a good thing too. Thinking about my daughters and how both are ambitious and both chose partners who are the opposite. Great sense of humour required.

 

[House Cat]

I have requirements rather than deal breakers.

he must be kind
He must be clean
He must be funny as hell

 

[kenny]

I’m glad I’m not the only gal not into this recent facial hair trend!

...
Hairy shoulders and back

OH man!
A very thick dense beard, 5 O'clock shadow, and hairy back and shoulders is a major turn on, as is that male horseshoe balding pattern.
I think those are the result of a high testosterone level.
Yummmm. Woof!

A guy with little or no body hair brings to mind women and children ... uhm, no thank you.
Same for a guy with a very low BMI.
Give me a real man with lots of warm and furry to snuggle up to on a cold night.

I'm very sexual.
It took me decades to accept this about myself.
My parent's religion brainwashed tons of unreasonable shame into me.
I should send the bills for my years of psychoanalysis to that Christian church!

 

[missy]

OH man!
A very thick dense beard, 5 O'clock shadow, and hairy back and shoulders is a major turn on, as is that male horseshoe balding pattern.
I think those are the result of a high testosterone level.
Yummmm. Woof!

A guy with little or no body hair brings to mind women and children ... uhm, no thank you.
Same for a guy with a very low BMI.
Give me a real man with lots of warm and furry to snuggle up to on a cold night.

Haha, I can only speak for myself but I like a healthy testosterone too in my man but I like him to shave his face because it hurts my face. That is my reason for liking a clean shaven man.

 

[anne_h]

Not quirky per se... but I'm a strong believer in the equality of men and women. I could not partner with someone who felt differently.

Anne

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

1. Doesn't love animals
2. Isn't kind in general
3. Is unclean/dirty/unkempt
4. No sense of humor (very important)
5. Not strong emotionally
6. Not calm (because I am not and need someone to keep me calm and cool when I get upset)
7. Not grounded and down to earth
8. Religious/Preachy/Self Righteous/Hypocritical/Insincere/Sanctimonious
9. Not generous (emotionally and in other ways)
10. Facial hair...I hate beards and moustaches and stubble with a passion
11. Not crazy in love with me

What she said!!!
(Except in my current situation I'd have to change #1 to "my kids" and take off "stubbles" of no.10, but before I met Dh it was this list 100% ).

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

OH man!
A very thick dense beard, 5 O'clock shadow, and hairy back and shoulders is a major turn on, as is that male horseshoe balding pattern.
I think those are the result of a high testosterone level.
Yummmm. Woof!

A guy with little or no body hair brings to mind women and children ... uhm, no thank you.
Same for a guy with a very low BMI.
Give me a real man with lots of warm and furry to snuggle up to on a cold night.

Getting jealous here @kenny , seems like you're in love with my husband!!!
Lol

 

[kenny]

Uh Oh!

 

[lissyflo]

Did he at least thank the cat for throwing up on hardwood as opposed to carpet? All but one cat I've ever had would always run TO a carpeted area to puke!

I’m so glad it’s not just mine! They’ll pick the one fabric sofa (all others are leather for easier cleaning and less animal smell retention) to throw up on too, and I really love that sofa - it’s so lovely to cuddle into warm fabric, not cold leather, on winter evenings. But less lovely if it smells of washed cat vomit...

It’s a good job I’ve been married for years. I think I must be getting old and cranky as I’ve agreed with pretty much everyone’s hates so far, so there’d be no chance of me finding someone I’d put up with now (or who would put up with me and my foibles!).

 

[mom2dolls]

1. Does not love my children as if they are your own
2. Lack of kindness or compassion
3. Lack of sense of humor
4. Must love animals
5. Cleanliness (personal and home)
6. Must be willing to be a true partner. I am not your Mommy!!
7. Dishonesty
8. Dismissiveness (Bigggggg one for me!)
9. Lack of affection. I am touchy feely, get used to it lol

 

[MakingTheGrade]

OH man!
A very thick dense beard, 5 O'clock shadow, and hairy back and shoulders is a major turn on, as is that male horseshoe balding pattern.
I think those are the result of a high testosterone level.
Yummmm. Woof!

A guy with little or no body hair brings to mind women and children ... uhm, no thank you.
Same for a guy with a very low BMI.
Give me a real man with lots of warm and furry to snuggle up to on a cold night.

I'm very sexual.
It took me decades to accept this about myself.
My parent's religion brainwashed tons of unreasonable shame into me.
I should send the bills for my years of psychoanalysis to that Christian church!

So I recently started seeing someone who’s hairier than I’m used to and I actually quite like the chest fuzz! He’s blond so it’s soft and cozy and smells nice lol. And now I like playing with it when we cuddle.

Still a no on big beards though :p too scritchy scratchy

 

[voce]

I've never been with anyone with a beard, so...

Excessively hairy chest (my chest is just as sensitive as my face, if not more so)
Perpetually scowling face

are physical turn-offs, and in other aspects, I cannot be with someone who's not:
1. intellectual at least in some areas
2. curious about how things REALLY are (I have a passion for learning more about the world and correcting my own biases and mistaken beliefs including indoctrination by old-fashioned education)
3. game for being my partner in trying new things I want to try
4. kind
5. able to enjoy silly fun and not too serious

 

[SandyinAnaheim]

I echo what most people have said above, especially the must love animals. I love animals so much that I don't eat them anymore, but I don't impose that on anyone else and still cook for my omni friends and family.

I have great difficulty with those who:

Eat with their mouth open/Spit wherever they want to
Have to be fidgeting or clicking or moving constantly
Have no manners/Are disrespectful
Don't want to learn new things or have no intellectual curiosity
Don't have a sense of humor
Have bad grammar/spelling and REFUSE to learn
Are addicted to technology/video games/****/sports/shopping/gambling, etc.
Don't listen
Feel entitled
Don't want to work and prefer to sponge off of someone
Lie, cheat, steal or are hypocrites
Are super-hairy
Are not self-aware
Are generally negative and always have a complaint about everything
Are stingy and/or greedy
Don't have great oral and personal hygiene
Are not empathetic

I'll probably have another list by morning....

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

Anyone remotely like my parents! No! Just NO NO NO!

Thank goodness I married the complete opposite!

 

[jordyonbass]

OH man!
A very thick dense beard, 5 O'clock shadow, and hairy back and shoulders is a major turn on, as is that male horseshoe balding pattern.
I think those are the result of a high testosterone level.
Yummmm. Woof!

A guy with little or no body hair brings to mind women and children ... uhm, no thank you.
Same for a guy with a very low BMI.
Give me a real man with lots of warm and furry to snuggle up to on a cold night

Apparently he's only gotta tick a couple boxes for you though, right Kenny?

I tick only the beard and balding boxes and I'm still having to hide from you occasionally

 

[missy]

Anyone remotely like my parents! No! Just NO NO NO!

Thank goodness I married the complete opposite!

So funny because in many ways Greg is like my dad. Warm, wonderful, generous, kind, mad funny and sharp as a tack. But in appearance they look nothing alike. Thank goodness for that haha. I always say I lucked out because I have the 2 most wonderful men in my life. My dh and my dad. I love them both so much and they are such amazing men.

 

[MamaBee]

Same! My cat preferred puking on our bedroom carpet.

My dog, Bailey, does the same thing! He runs for the carpet with me making a mad dash behind him..He usually wins. I’ve learned to leave bath mats around..He’ll aim for those now..

 

[MamaBee]

1. Not loving animals
2. Unkind
3. Superiority complex
4. Moody or Grouchy
5. Not interested in the things I’m interested in..
6. Dirty fingernails or long toe nails..hahahahaha
7. Not open to discussion about relationship issues