What are your opinions about ''upgrading'' an engagement ring?

[MichelleCarmen]

For years I've gone back and forth on whether I'd want to upgrade, but over the last year have determined that upgrading would be the last way I'd spend my money. I've purchased three diamonds over this last year and the total I spent was $3K (and these were fun purchases, not eng. ring. I've had that for over 10 years). That has provided me with plenty of sparkle for a small amount of money.

Now, for me, my priorities have changed and aside from many clothing shopping trips, putting money in savings is my main priority. I worry Social Security may not be around for my generation and I'd rather NOT have a big diamond than be stuck working to an old age! Every bit in savings helps.

 

[sukiisukii]

I am guilty for changing the setting on my engagement ring

My husbands choice is definitely very elegant; it is a simple solitaire setting with single row pave along the sides, but I thought it did not match my center stone as it was a radiant cut, so I had it reset into a more fitting setting in my eyes.

But we made a deal with each other that we would save the original setting and reset a RB into the setting for our 10th anniversary. The setting is still in the safe waiting for its stone

 

[kcoursolle]

I personally am not very sentimental about things. I care more about the relationship than the rings that symbolize it. To me rings just show you are married, they don''t exemplify the relationship. I''m fine with upgrading as long as both parties are fine with it.

 

[Fly Girl]

He upgraded his wedding band first. It just didn''t fit after 17 years and about 40 additional pounds. Styles had changed and he wanted bling in his band! We figured upgrading his wedding band sure beat upgrading the wife in order to get a new one.

I expect most often people upgrade because there are issues with the original set. I guess having too small of a diamond can be an issue, but I notice that often in the posts that there are other problems with the set.

 

[Circe]

Date: 6/19/2008 2:41:32 PM
Author: rob09
I think that Circe is correct. There are different scenarios:... let''s not kid ourselves: upgrading an e-ring (according to (b)) is a sign of dissatisfaction. You are not satisfied with the initial ring any more. Does it mean that you were not grateful for it? No. But not being ''satisfied enough'' IS being dissatisfied in the end. Otherwise you would not get a new ring.

R.

This is really interesting to me. I can see your point, but I''m not sure if I agree: I think one can be satisfied with what one has, but still delighted at the prospect of *more* without necessarily delving into excess. I mean, just using myself as a jumping off point ... I adore my ring, but if a pile of money fell into my lap, I''d be eyeballing a marquise pretty soon thereafter. It would reflect changing circumstances, not a constant of niggling dissatisfaction, or even a newfound disappointment at the difference between reality and concrete possibility.

So, let''s say that pile of money falls into my lap in slo-mo ... say, in time for an equivalent sum to accumulate by our 10th anniversary. Does the time-frame change the set-up? I''d say no ... but I tend to be an argumentative little rat.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 6/19/2008 10:44:27 AM
Author: purrfectpear
I think a lot of PS''rs use the term upgrade but they aren''t actually trading in their original diamonds. Some have, but a lot are just calling the larger second ring an upgrade

Right, that''s what I did.

And actually, I wanted an inground pool first, but hubby said no, so I went for the larger diamond. He made me do it.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 6/19/2008 10:10:11 AM
Author: Deelight
I can understand why people do it but personally I never plan on upgrading my e-ring (when I eventually get it) the ring he proposes to me with is it .


However I am definitely not adverse to collecting

Ditto on all counts.

 

[Bliss]

Exactly! I''m not trading in my original diamond when/if we renew our e-ring. It''s either going to go to my mom as a present or I''ll keep it for our future kids (should we be so blessed). It''ll stay in the family forever. I can''t part with it! THAT would make me very sad!

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

Date: 6/19/2008 2:28:48 PM
Author: Circe
I think the terminology is the problem, as is frequently the case (anybody who says ''just semantics'' is either stupid, or being willfully deceptive). Personally speaking, I love the ring we chose together, and I''m so sentimental that I save the fortunes out of fortune cookies ... so while I''d never want to get rid of *this* ring, I certainly wouldn''t turn a different/additional one down, somewhere down the line! I don''t think ''upgrade'' is an accurate description of that scenario. I don''t think it fits situations where the wearer of the ring informs the giver of the ring that it''s lovely, but ... not what s/he had in mind immediately upon receipt, either. It''s frequently used to describe the acquisition of *any* additional ''better'' diamond (size, color, clarity, whatever), and it seems pretty inaccurate. Not to mention damning: it definitely carries connotations of dissatisfaction, ingratitude, etc. (which, even in straight-up scenarios where a couple makes the decision to buy another stone because they *want to* and they *can* seems ... icky and judgy: yes, those are the technical terms).

Why not just call it renewing one''s engagement ring, and have done with it? Works for the vows, ought to work for the paraphernalia ....

I LOVE THIS !!! Although I don''t call pushing my old marquise to the back of the jewelry drawer "renewing" anything. LOL!

 

[Circe]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:56:33 PM
Author: NeverEndingUpgrade

Date: 6/19/2008 2:28:48 PM

Author: Circe

I think the terminology is the problem, as is frequently the case (anybody who says ''just semantics'' is either stupid, or being willfully deceptive). Personally speaking, I love the ring we chose together, and I''m so sentimental that I save the fortunes out of fortune cookies ... so while I''d never want to get rid of *this* ring, I certainly wouldn''t turn a different/additional one down, somewhere down the line! I don''t think ''upgrade'' is an accurate description of that scenario. I don''t think it fits situations where the wearer of the ring informs the giver of the ring that it''s lovely, but ... not what s/he had in mind immediately upon receipt, either. It''s frequently used to describe the acquisition of *any* additional ''better'' diamond (size, color, clarity, whatever), and it seems pretty inaccurate. Not to mention damning: it definitely carries connotations of dissatisfaction, ingratitude, etc. (which, even in straight-up scenarios where a couple makes the decision to buy another stone because they *want to* and they *can* seems ... icky and judgy: yes, those are the technical terms).


Why not just call it renewing one''s engagement ring, and have done with it? Works for the vows, ought to work for the paraphernalia ....

I LOVE THIS !!! Although I don''t call pushing my old marquise to the back of the jewelry drawer ''renewing'' anything. LOL!

You renewed the engagement ring as in the ring you wear on your finger, though, right? And might someday renew the old one by putting it in a pendant, earring, RHR, etc.?

I KNEW I should have gone into marketing!

 

[Miranda]

Date: 6/19/2008 4:04:06 PM
Author: Circe

Date: 6/19/2008 3:56:33 PM
Author: NeverEndingUpgrade

Date: 6/19/2008 2:28:48 PM

Author: Circe

I think the terminology is the problem, as is frequently the case (anybody who says ''just semantics'' is either stupid, or being willfully deceptive). Personally speaking, I love the ring we chose together, and I''m so sentimental that I save the fortunes out of fortune cookies ... so while I''d never want to get rid of *this* ring, I certainly wouldn''t turn a different/additional one down, somewhere down the line! I don''t think ''upgrade'' is an accurate description of that scenario. I don''t think it fits situations where the wearer of the ring informs the giver of the ring that it''s lovely, but ... not what s/he had in mind immediately upon receipt, either. It''s frequently used to describe the acquisition of *any* additional ''better'' diamond (size, color, clarity, whatever), and it seems pretty inaccurate. Not to mention damning: it definitely carries connotations of dissatisfaction, ingratitude, etc. (which, even in straight-up scenarios where a couple makes the decision to buy another stone because they *want to* and they *can* seems ... icky and judgy: yes, those are the technical terms).


Why not just call it renewing one''s engagement ring, and have done with it? Works for the vows, ought to work for the paraphernalia ....

I LOVE THIS !!! Although I don''t call pushing my old marquise to the back of the jewelry drawer ''renewing'' anything. LOL!

You renewed the engagement ring as in the ring you wear on your finger, though, right? And might someday renew the old one by putting it in a pendant, earring, RHR, etc.?

I KNEW I should have gone into marketing!

Hahaha! You should! I''m gonna email that phrase to my sister who is having a heck of a time convincing her hubby to ''renew'' her wedding set. He''s feeling very hurt that the ring he got her 14 years ago is no longer ''good enough'' for her.

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

Date: 6/19/2008 4:13:35 PM
Author: Miranda

Date: 6/19/2008 4:04:06 PM
Author: Circe

Date: 6/19/2008 3:56:33 PM
Author: NeverEndingUpgrade

Date: 6/19/2008 2:28:48 PM

Author: Circe

I think the terminology is the problem, as is frequently the case (anybody who says ''just semantics'' is either stupid, or being willfully deceptive). Personally speaking, I love the ring we chose together, and I''m so sentimental that I save the fortunes out of fortune cookies ... so while I''d never want to get rid of *this* ring, I certainly wouldn''t turn a different/additional one down, somewhere down the line! I don''t think ''upgrade'' is an accurate description of that scenario. I don''t think it fits situations where the wearer of the ring informs the giver of the ring that it''s lovely, but ... not what s/he had in mind immediately upon receipt, either. It''s frequently used to describe the acquisition of *any* additional ''better'' diamond (size, color, clarity, whatever), and it seems pretty inaccurate. Not to mention damning: it definitely carries connotations of dissatisfaction, ingratitude, etc. (which, even in straight-up scenarios where a couple makes the decision to buy another stone because they *want to* and they *can* seems ... icky and judgy: yes, those are the technical terms).


Why not just call it renewing one''s engagement ring, and have done with it? Works for the vows, ought to work for the paraphernalia ....

I LOVE THIS !!! Although I don''t call pushing my old marquise to the back of the jewelry drawer ''renewing'' anything. LOL!

You renewed the engagement ring as in the ring you wear on your finger, though, right? And might someday renew the old one by putting it in a pendant, earring, RHR, etc.?

I KNEW I should have gone into marketing!

Hahaha! You should! I''m gonna email that phrase to my sister who is having a heck of a time convincing her hubby to ''renew'' her wedding set. He''s feeling very hurt that the ring he got her 14 years ago is no longer ''good enough'' for her.

Yeah, baby, it''s all psychology!

Circe--You do have a future in marketing. You better trademark it befor DeBeers gets a hold of it!

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

upgraded my ring twice before i even got married, now that i''m married i would never get rid of my wedding set but i wouldn''t mind getting a few alternatives, lol!

 

[diamondringlover]

Me and my husband both have upgraded 3 times since we have been married, it will be 25 years next May, now I cant afford to upgrade my diamond (wish I could) but I will be buying a new wedding band for my 25th (or maybe a new setting we will see where finances are at that time), I understand the sentimental side, I had my original ER changed into a new setting and I personally wish I had keep it as it orginally was, it was very unique and I have been looking on Ebay for about a year to try to find one like it, so I do regret changing it

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

Date: 6/19/2008 4:39:21 PM
Author: diamondrnglover
Me and my husband both have upgraded 3 times since we have been married, it will be 25 years next May, now I cant afford to upgrade my diamond (wish I could) but I will be buying a new wedding band for my 25th (or maybe a new setting we will see where finances are at that time), I understand the sentimental side, I had my original ER changed into a new setting and I personally wish I had keep it as it orginally was, it was very unique and I have been looking on Ebay for about a year to try to find one like it, so I do regret changing it

I know what you mean. I sometimes regret not keeping my original .24 ct. round to make a 3 stone ring with. It would have worked really well to find a matching .24, then get a 1 ct. oval or pear or even round center. Oh, frivolous youth!!! Oh well, my user name says it all--always in search of the perfect ring!

 

[honey22]

Imdanny, it's funny that you mention that PS may skew things slightly. When I first joined 12 months ago I was pretty mortified when I saw members posting about upgrading their erings. I couldn't believe that they would want to change something so special and meaningful as an engagement ring. However, I am a lot more comfortable with the idea now that I was 12 months ago. Did PS skew my thoughts? Maybe, but I can see the reasons why one would want to do that now. I never really understood before I had a chance to see the different reasons people do upgrade. I guess I am lucky in that my partner just asked me what I was comfortable spending, he said what he thought a ring would cost, and then we went over it by $2K, which wasn't a problem to us ($7k is not much to many PSers, but it's a very healthy budget compared to what my friends, family etc would spend, I think it may be different in Aust, but I don't know anyone who spent that much). It's even to the point that when we announce our engagement to our family, I am a bit nervous of how they will react to the cost of the ring. Not that I have a problem with my family asking, but my BFs family is not so well off and that would be an obscene amount of money to spend on a ring for them, I know they will be shocked and I don't want to feel like I have to justify. I have always felt they are sometimes a bit envious as we have worked hard to get good jobs and have a comfortable lifestyle and I don't want to feel like we are flashing money around.

I guess things may have been different if we were on a strict budget - if we sacrified size, colour, setting etc just to get a ring, then I think we would be open to upgrading down the road. But I am a sentimental gal, and I don't have any plans on upgrading my ering. I even bought 10 points over the ct weight I was aiming for in an attempt to ward of any future cases of DSS (how's that for planning hey?!).

It's really up to you. If you feel comfortable then it's ok, but I don't think you would always have the support of all your friends and family (especially non-PSers) but it's really not their business anyway.

 

[Hera]

For me, I like to think of my engagement/wedding ring as a sign (not a symbol) that I'm married. That means as long as I'm wearing a ring on my left hand then that's okay (and okay with my husband).

 

[butterfly 17]

Okay, I read some of the posts here and here are some random thoughts I had-

- First, if you never got an engagement ring, but got one a few years later after marriage, is that an upgrade or an engagement ring or an anniversary ring?

-Second, if you get a smaller stone that you were first engaged with or a colored stone, is that considered an upgrade, are only diamonds larger than what you were proposed with considered an upgrade?

-Third, if you did upgrade, how much bigger was your upgrade than the original stone?

-ETA a Fourth, is the original e-ring more sentimental when the man suprises his fiance completely, or when the fiance is involved in the whole process. For me personally, if my husband had completely suprised me, I would have attached a lot more sentimental value to the ring than if I picked everything out with him.


Fifth, does the size of the original e-ring factor into wanting to upgrade sooner than later, or even at all.

I would imagine those people who were originally proposed with a 2+ carat diamond are not thinking about upgrading, whereas those who were proposed with <1 carat (hope I don't offend anyone with a 1 carat or less stone) think about upgrading much more.

As for me, I didn't get an e-ring when we got married, bought myself my first two diamonds on my own a couple of years into our marriage. One of them was reset into an e-ring setting that my husband bought me for our 7th anniversary. Finally got a diamond from my husband for my 10th year anniversary present. Just did a recent, but fairly small trade in on that stone two weeks ago for my 15th anniversary.

I still have the two diamonds I bought during the first years of our marriage and still have the same e-ring setting that my husband bought me. I would not dream of trading them in or getting rid of them because I feel they represent different points in our life and the struggles that we went through. And even though I say I bought them, we share joint bank accounts, so my purchase was partly or even mostly his as well.

As far as the new diamond I just got, I love it and am very happy with the size. I can't say that I won't ever trade it in, but I think I am quite happy with it and rather than trading it in for a larger size, I would prefer to get a different shape diamond in the future, but not as a trade in, as a new diamond.

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

I don''t think there are defined parameters for "upgrades". I guess I consider a ring worn before marriage an "engagement ring" and anything after the wedding, an anniversary or other occasion ring. You are, after all, not engaged anymore.

I would imagine those people who were originally proposed with a 2+ carat diamond are not thinking about upgrading, whereas those who were proposed with font>

Yes, that was definitely me!

 

[AggieTexan]

Date: 6/19/2008 9:41:14 PM
Author: butterfly 17
Okay, I read some of the posts here and here are some random thoughts I had-

- First, if you never got an engagement ring, but got one a few years later after marriage, is that an upgrade or an engagement ring or an anniversary ring?

-Second, if you get a smaller stone that you were first engaged with or a colored stone, is that considered an upgrade, are only diamonds larger than what you were proposed with considered an upgrade?

-Third, if you did upgrade, how much bigger was your upgrade than the original stone?
The stone in my original ering was .8, and my new one is 2.43, so about 3X the size of my original. I also went from a pear to an RB.

-ETA a Fourth, is the original e-ring more sentimental when the man suprises his fiance completely, or when the fiance is involved in the whole process. For me personally, if my husband had completely suprised me, I would have attached a lot more sentimental value to the ring than if I picked everything out with him.
My husband absolutely refused to buy either my original ering or my new 20th anniversary ring without me picking it out! He has purchased other jewelry during our marriage, but I think the thought of making a style/taste mistake with a diamond scares him!

Fifth, does the size of the original e-ring factor into wanting to upgrade sooner than later, or even at all.

I would imagine those people who were originally proposed with a 2+ carat diamond are not thinking about upgrading, whereas those who were proposed with <1 carat (hope I don't offend anyone with a 1 carat or less stone) think about upgrading much more.
It was always something that was kind of in the back of our heads (or at least my head!) to do at some point. For me it was as much about my tastes changing over the years as the size of the diamond (although I do love my new stone). My old set had a lot of yellow gold, and I wear mostly silver and I knew I wanted platinum and something not as dated as my old set.

As for me, I didn't get an e-ring when we got married, bought myself my first two diamonds on my own a couple of years into our marriage. One of them was reset into an e-ring setting that my husband bought me for our 7th anniversary. Finally got a diamond from my husband for my 10th year anniversary present. Just did a recent, but fairly small trade in on that stone two weeks ago for my 15th anniversary.

I still have the two diamonds I bought during the first years of our marriage and still have the same e-ring setting that my husband bought me. I would not dream of trading them in or getting rid of them because I feel they represent different points in our life and the struggles that we went through. And even though I say I bought them, we share joint bank accounts, so my purchase was partly or even mostly his as well.

As far as the new diamond I just got, I love it and am very happy with the size. I can't say that I won't ever trade it in, but I think I am quite happy with it and rather than trading it in for a larger size, I would prefer to get a different shape diamond in the future, but not as a trade in, as a new diamond.

 

[vslover]

Date: 6/19/2008 5:54:15 PM
Author: heraanderson
For me, I like to think of my engagement/wedding ring as a sign (not a symbol) that I''m married. That means as long as I''m wearing a ring on my left hand then that''s okay (and okay with my husband).

I agree and so does DH...though I do have to say that I''ve accumulated MORE diamonds over the years and haven''t traded any in...so maybe I haven''t really "upgraded"?

 

[rickpiwo]

I am torn about this. Here are my two arguments.
a. I, for one, am totally against it! ! ! It should not matter what it is, as much as the process that he took to get it to you. A diamond, as awesome as it is, is just a stone....its symbology is far greater, hopefully....While I think it is great to get more diamonds ( you have ten fingers for Gods sake lol) as you mature in your relationship, I would say the ring you get when you decide to marry him is the ring you get......HOWEVER, wink wink, I think that the lady should be involved in the process to ensure that it is a ring that she wants, there is always a materialistic side to things. Plus, if you do it right the first time, there should never be a need to do it again....put that money toward a mortgage, school, car, kids school, vacation, etc..

b. why the heck not? As you and your marriage martures (i.e. more age and wisdom, SURVIVED raising children, beat cancer, milestone anniversary, change tastes, etc) so should that awesome stone that is a physical symbol........$25000 is alot when you are 23, maybe not at 43........

This maddness plays in my mind ALL DAY.....

rick

 

[Ellen]

I got proposed to without a ring, as hubby knew it would be best to let me pick. My stone was .30ish. Not exactly the size I wanted, and not necessarily what he could afford, but what he felt he could afford. I respected that, and wore it for 24 years.

I really did want the pool, but he didn''t, so I crossed that off my 2 item wish list and got the ring. I did feel I deserved it, for a variety of reasons.

 

[bee*]

Date: 6/19/2008 10:10:11 AM
Author: Deelight
I can understand why people do it but personally I never plan on upgrading my e-ring (when I eventually get it) the ring he proposes to me with is it .


However I am definitely not adverse to collecting

ditto

 

[lovewhitediamonds]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:04:32 PM
Author: kcoursolle
I personally am not very sentimental about things. I care more about the relationship than the rings that symbolize it. To me rings just show you are married, they don''t exemplify the relationship. I''m fine with upgrading as long as both parties are fine with it.

Ditto. My DH is happy as long as I''m happy (I''m a lucky girl)....and I happen to like diamonds... Just as our life is always changing, I view my new ring as part of a new chapter in our marriage. I will always cherish my first e-ring, but the poor thing hasn''t seen the light of day since I got my upgrade!

 

[Imdanny]

Date: 6/19/2008 4:53:00 PM
Author: honey22
Imdanny, it's funny that you mention that PS may skew things slightly. When I first joined 12 months ago I was pretty mortified when I saw members posting about upgrading their erings. I couldn't believe that they would want to change something so special and meaningful as an engagement ring. However, I am a lot more comfortable with the idea now that I was 12 months ago. Did PS skew my thoughts? Maybe, but I can see the reasons why one would want to do that now. I never really understood before I had a chance to see the different reasons people do upgrade. I guess I am lucky in that my partner just asked me what I was comfortable spending, he said what he thought a ring would cost, and then we went over it by $2K, which wasn't a problem to us ($7k is not much to many PSers, but it's a very healthy budget compared to what my friends, family etc would spend, I think it may be different in Aust, but I don't know anyone who spent that much). It's even to the point that when we announce our engagement to our family, I am a bit nervous of how they will react to the cost of the ring. Not that I have a problem with my family asking, but my BFs family is not so well off and that would be an obscene amount of money to spend on a ring for them, I know they will be shocked and I don't want to feel like I have to justify. I have always felt they are sometimes a bit envious as we have worked hard to get good jobs and have a comfortable lifestyle and I don't want to feel like we are flashing money around.


I guess things may have been different if we were on a strict budget - if we sacrified size, colour, setting etc just to get a ring, then I think we would be open to upgrading down the road. But I am a sentimental gal, and I don't have any plans on upgrading my ering. I even bought 10 points over the ct weight I was aiming for in an attempt to ward of any future cases of DSS (how's that for planning hey?!).

honey22, I like your ring because it's gold AND platinum. I think that's very discreet. It's basically gold, and most people expect gold (would it be more of an "issue" for people if you said "here is my platinum ring" vs "here is my gold ring"? Of course.) BUT you get to enjoy wearing platinum at the same time. The size is SUBSTANTIAL while again being discreet. The stone is no compromise in quality. TO ME, your ring is a perfect combination of quality, substance, and discretion. I totally get that you chose it with the intention of keeping it.

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR POSTS! I'VE REALLY ENJOYED READING ABOUT EVERYONE'S DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES AND VIEWPOINTS!

 

[ursulawrite]

For my 10th, I''m planning on an emerald or an alexandrite, but I intend to keep--and wear--my original e-ring until I''m zimmer-bound and long in the tooth. Which is not to say I''m a hoarder--quite the opposite, in fact--but I do have strong emotional attachments to certain gifts, and the e-ring falls into that category.

 

[honey22]

Date: 6/20/2008 5:59:55 PM
Author: Imdanny

Date: 6/19/2008 4:53:00 PM
Author: honey22
Imdanny, it''s funny that you mention that PS may skew things slightly. When I first joined 12 months ago I was pretty mortified when I saw members posting about upgrading their erings. I couldn''t believe that they would want to change something so special and meaningful as an engagement ring. However, I am a lot more comfortable with the idea now that I was 12 months ago. Did PS skew my thoughts? Maybe, but I can see the reasons why one would want to do that now. I never really understood before I had a chance to see the different reasons people do upgrade. I guess I am lucky in that my partner just asked me what I was comfortable spending, he said what he thought a ring would cost, and then we went over it by $2K, which wasn''t a problem to us ($7k is not much to many PSers, but it''s a very healthy budget compared to what my friends, family etc would spend, I think it may be different in Aust, but I don''t know anyone who spent that much). It''s even to the point that when we announce our engagement to our family, I am a bit nervous of how they will react to the cost of the ring. Not that I have a problem with my family asking, but my BFs family is not so well off and that would be an obscene amount of money to spend on a ring for them, I know they will be shocked and I don''t want to feel like I have to justify. I have always felt they are sometimes a bit envious as we have worked hard to get good jobs and have a comfortable lifestyle and I don''t want to feel like we are flashing money around.


I guess things may have been different if we were on a strict budget - if we sacrified size, colour, setting etc just to get a ring, then I think we would be open to upgrading down the road. But I am a sentimental gal, and I don''t have any plans on upgrading my ering. I even bought 10 points over the ct weight I was aiming for in an attempt to ward of any future cases of DSS (how''s that for planning hey?!).

honey22, I like your ring because it''s gold AND platinum. I think that''s very discreet. It''s basically gold, and most people expect gold (would it be more of an ''issue'' for people if you said ''here is my platinum ring'' vs ''here is my gold ring''? Of course.) BUT you get to enjoy wearing platinum at the same time. The size is SUBSTANTIAL while again being discreet. The stone is no compromise in quality. TO ME, your ring is a perfect combination of quality, substance, and discretion. I totally get that you chose it with the intention of keeping it.

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR POSTS! I''VE REALLY ENJOYED READING ABOUT EVERYONE''S DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES AND VIEWPOINTS!

Wow Imdanny - thanks for the lovely words about my ring. I love it too, in my eyes it''s totally perfect!

 

[LaraOnline]

I''m dying for an upgrade!

I got married at age 32, the proposal came suddenly (romantically) but without any thought of a ring, and our budget was soooo tight that I really had a hard time finding something I could be happy with, within our budget..., which was maximum $500, five years ago.

My husband hadn''t really planned to meet and marry me, you see!
Adore the husband, wouldn''t mind reflecting that in the ring I wear every day.

The one I have looks like the kind of ring a wealthy parent would give a child upon graduating from high school.
It''s a .20 with little points around it, like a flower. It was not marketed as an engagement ring, but it is sweet.
I''d love love love a real-life, grown up solitaire! But I feel I have at least another five years to wait, alas!

I wish he had come shopping with me, so he could see what quality engagement rings really cost, he didn''t intend to be ''cheap'' but just didn''t have any idea.

 

[Rhea]

Date: 6/20/2008 1:36:37 AM
Author: rickpiwo
I am torn about this. Here are my two arguments.

a. I, for one, am totally against it! ! ! It should not matter what it is, as much as the process that he took to get it to you. A diamond, as awesome as it is, is just a stone....its symbology is far greater, hopefully....While I think it is great to get more diamonds ( you have ten fingers for Gods sake lol) as you mature in your relationship, I would say the ring you get when you decide to marry him is the ring you get......HOWEVER, wink wink, I think that the lady should be involved in the process to ensure that it is a ring that she wants, there is always a materialistic side to things. Plus, if you do it right the first time, there should never be a need to do it again....put that money toward a mortgage, school, car, kids school, vacation, etc..


b. why the heck not? As you and your marriage martures (i.e. more age and wisdom, SURVIVED raising children, beat cancer, milestone anniversary, change tastes, etc) so should that awesome stone that is a physical symbol........$25000 is alot when you are 23, maybe not at 43........


This maddness plays in my mind ALL DAY.....


rick

This is us. According me to, we didn't do it right the first time. My setting is thin, uneven, and there is pitting in the prongs and band, and the prongs are all different heights and thickness's. According to DH, once is all you get. I picked a ring thinking it'd be forever but I didn't realise how many problems there would be with it. DH doesn't see the problems and until the ring finally breaks I doubt he will. Even then I don't think he'd see the want for a new one. Maybe I'm deluded in my thinking that if we'd done it right I wouldn't want a new ring, but I'll likely never get to find out.