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Who What about Gypsy?

Yay, Gypsy, I''m so happy to see you have a Who''s Who! You''ve always been one of my favourite PSers, and I''m so happy to read more about you and I especially loved your story of meeting John.
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I just read your excerpt and I really wanted to keep reading!
 
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OMG! I'm such a BAD PSer... I haven't checked this thread in forever (just assumed everyone had let it drift to obscurity)...

Iluvcarats... when I was young, because my dad had abandoned us, and then right after that happened I nearly lost my mom to meningitis my mom was my sun moon and stars. She could do no wrong, and I always assumed if something was wrong... it was me that was the problem. It's taken a long time to try to get a balanced my view of my mother, and I actually don't think I'm there even now. I just got our wedding pictures and I realized how much while I was stressed and wigging out about the wedding I had pushed my mom away, and how angry I was at her. She's in 9 pictures out of over 700. And she kept her distance from me on my wedding day, which I was glad about at the time... but now that I'm saner (weddings make you crazy) I am filled with regret about that. Strange how hard mother daughter relationships can be. Nothing (except John and the cats and my grandfather) can hurt me like my mom... and nothing (except the same) can make me as happy. It's such a double edged sword, and I find myself getting cut no matter what I do, or don't do. I'm sorry you have dealt with that as well. ((HUGS)). And happy (EXTREMELY belated) anniversary.

Linda, yes I did and thier kids didn't come. I'm so glad the wedding is over. I just found out the Melting Pot in San Jose (the one we went to) closed. Don't seem to have a long life these fondue places. We'll have to find a place and go together. BREAD AND CHEESE!!!!


Thank you DF. Miss Maya is such a love from your stories about her.

ChinaCat, I will have to try that, although right now... I'm not writing at all. I'm trying to get John to write. He's got a much greater gift than I have ever had... and if I can get him writing again (not for publishing purposes, just so that he does it for himself, even if it never goes anywhere other than on a harddrive, he needs it in a way I don't)... and he's stuck, so I will share your advice with him!!

Sorry I didn't update Sarah. ((HUGS)) I hope our honeymoon (when we get one) is amazing too. Thank you for hte compliments on the non-pro... it was a lovely day!

Harleigh, how wonderful it was to meet you!! I will try to be better about sharing more in this thread. Actually I have something I want to share.. not sure I want to do it here, or in Family and Home. Hmm...

Hi Tacori, I promise to write more about the wedding in my pro-pic thread (still 2 months left till we get those). Thank you very much for the compliments.

Married life is good. It's weird though... this is the thing I was wondering if I should share here or elsewhere. I guess this is as good a place as any. What's weird is... all my life I've been working toward things. When I was a child I was in a hurry to grow up, when I was a teen I wanted to be an adult to experience love and to have my heart broken to feel and to live. In college I wanted to excel, and to grow and understand how to socialize with my peers, so I strived for that. When I was in lawschool it was a struggle to keep going to work toward that bloody degree, but I did... with John's help. With John... it's always been about getting to the next place in our relationship. When I graduated it was about finding a job, then it was about finding the RIGHT job. Then I found the right job for a while, was abused at it, and looked for a better job. Wedding planning was an intense goal driven process...

Now... I am an adult, I have graduated, I have a better job, I make a decent salary and John and I are married, the wedding is over. And... I'm left wondering... what's next? I wonder if this is part of why people have children-- so they can do it all again, experience all that drive, that constant motion, that feeling of being alive again through their children's eyes.

And yet, I don't want kids. At least... I don't want to be pregnant ever. I'm rather phobic about it actually. It terrifies me. I think I might eventually be okay with adopting an older child (4-5-6-7), but John and I are both not there yet, and don't know if we'll ever be.

Which has left me wondering... what next? What do I work toward? I'm not a particularly ambitious person about my career. I secretly hate what I do. I'm thinking that once I kick this illness (okay so I can't kick it, but once it's being managed better) and regain some strength and get some energy I might start taking courses again. I loved learning. I almost feel like I *should* take useful courses... business courses or courses that further my career, but I don't want to. I want to take pottery, and art, and drawing... I want a portal to some creativity in my life that I lack now. But I worry about the time that will take away from John and my cats, and since I work so much as it is. But then I think, a once a week course, if I can take it on the weekend might be great. But I wonder if that will fullfill that need for movement, for striving for feeling alive again. I feel stuck. Not in my marriage. But I think the fact that we weren't married, and were working TOWARD getting married, then tossed into the hectic mess that is wedding planning masked the feeling, covered it up... but now that we are married and everything. It's there... and it's unavoidable.

Does that make sense to anyone?

Hi Isaku... hugs! Hope this works for an update.

Monarch... thank you. I need to read your thread (just saw it). How are you? I've missed you!

Sarah! Good for you honey! Shoot for the best schools you can... but please honey, be careful of debt. G-town is expensive and I'm still paying for it. If I could do it all over again, I would have gone to UCLA for sure (public school and I was in state. 1/4 the tuition at the time). Have you heard anything?


Hi VR!! It was SO great meeting you! I wish we lived closer... and that I was more social. It was so great sitting next to you and getting to know you!


Lauren-- Thank you so much! You are definitely one of my favorite PSers and I hope you will be around for a very long time!!! ((HUGS))
 
Okay... so as a way to make up for being so bad... here''s my favorite pic from our engagment shoot (and the only one I have a digital of). It personifies our relationship. I''m the visible one... but he''s always there...strong and silent... and looking out toward the possibiliities. But we shelter each other.

I''m getting poetic. Must be the pain meds. LOL.

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Date: 2/12/2009 3:00:02 AM
Author: Gypsy
Okay... so as a way to make up for being so bad... here's my favorite pic from our engagment shoot (and the only one I have a digital of). It personifies our relationship. I'm the visible one... but he's always there...strong and silent... and looking out toward the possibiliities. But we shelter each other.

I'm getting poetic. Must be the pain meds. LOL.
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I love this picture, you are so gorgeous!!! Is that the ocean in the background? The pictures gives a sense of peace and love. John sounds like a fabulous hubby! You two were made for each other; you compliment each other perfectly
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I am thinking of you (((((hugs))))
 
What a beautiful photo, and analogy of your relationship with your DH.

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Gypsy-

LOVE that picture and love your description of it. You look so beautiful and have perfected that mysterious Mona Lisa type smile! Now I wish we''d done engagement pictures. Oh well.

Hope the adivce helps- not that I follow my own- I am stuck in serious writer''s block at the moment, which is really just pure laziness.

Don''t have much advice on how you are feeling, except to say that I think you are too hard on yourself. Try to give yourself a break. On the feeling stuck part- I really really really encourage you to take whatever class you want to the most- pottery, art, whatever- you are dealing with so much real world stuff right now, give yourself the gift of escaping for an hour or two each week. My DH and I both work a lot, but I take a writing class once a week and it helps our relationship because it recharges my creative batteries and I am happier and my mind feels free. You need to recharge. Also, just opening up your mind to creativity may help you figure all that other stuff out.

Wishing you the best, I always love reading your posts.
 
Hi Skippy, yes that''s the ocean. The pics were taken in Santa Cruz and it was such a wonderful relaxing day. So romantic too... which is strange cause we had a camera following us around, but our photographer was so great that it was just an awesome day. Thank you Skippy for the insight. I know you are right, what we have works and I''m so grateful for it. The funny thing is there is a similar photo to this one (a little different we''re sitting facing away from the camera, but I had turned back for a moment) in our wedding pics, and it too is one of my favorites. Again for the same reason. (((((HUGS))))))) honey. I don''t ask this enough, because you are so giving... but how are you Skippy?

Thank you thl. John just says I like the photo cause it captures his best side.
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Aww thank you ChinaCat, I felt beautiful that day... actually every time he looks at me I feel beautiful. And I feel wonder. I think you are 100% right on the recharging. The idea of pottery is appealing to me IMMENSELY. Getting my hands dirty, making something... firing it. I''ve done it before and it''s very... satisfying. I think I''m going to take your advise and see if I can find a course to take. Thank you so much for your wisdom, you are a good friend. ((HUGS))
 
Date: 2/12/2009 8:22:47 PM
Author: Gypsy
Hi Skippy, yes that's the ocean. The pics were taken in Santa Cruz and it was such a wonderful relaxing day. So romantic too... which is strange cause we had a camera following us around, but our photographer was so great that it was just an awesome day. Thank you Skippy for the insight. I know you are right, what we have works and I'm so grateful for it. The funny thing is there is a similar photo to this one (a little different we're sitting facing away from the camera, but I had turned back for a moment) in our wedding pics, and it too is one of my favorites. Again for the same reason. (((((HUGS))))))) honey. I don't ask this enough, because you are so giving... but how are you Skippy?

Thank you thl. John just says I like the photo cause it captures his best side.
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I just now saw this, sorry I didn't get back to you sooner.
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I think the ocean has that soothing effect and I bet you and John are at home with each other so that makes sense you didn't notice the cameras; awwww, true love
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Awww, thanks for asking; I am doing well, I have had bad allergies lately but I am taking Zyrtec and it is helping but makes me a tiny bit sleepy. hehe I have been worried about you; I have you in my thoughts and prayers dear friend. (((((HUGS))))) I always love getting a Gypsy hug back.
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I''m sorry about your allergies Skippy! I know that they are particularly bad for you. Zyrtec is great, but it does make for some heavy eye lids. I find that if I can, a quick nap helps with that. Or taking it at night.

I''m much better now. Returning to work (hopefully this time for good) tomorrow. Don''t worry about me, I''m doing okay.

(((HUG)))
 
We're just supposed to babble here right?

So I'm gonna babble.

I sold my earrings that I wore on my wedding day on Thursday. I was really happy about it. Honestly, the only thing I really want to keep is my head peice and veil. John commented that he was surprised that I sold them. He thought I'd be more attached. But I have the pics, and they are wonderful... why do I need earrings I'm never going to wear again? of course by that logic I shouldn't be attached to my head piece and veil, and yet I am.

I am thinking about doing a TTD, but would want to have my makeup and everything done by Maria again, and she's expensive, and I'd rather have bling. Otherwise, I don't know why I'm keeping the dress. Maybe I can wear it around the house and watch the cats chase my tail... ahem, train.

I just read a comment in BWW about how the hardest part of ordering your wedding band is when it comes in and you have to leave it in the box. So true. But you know what it reminded me of... how I felt wearing that ring before we got married. you all know that we'd been together for a WHILE before getting married, and that I had commitment issues. Well I always thought, getting married isn't going to be any different than this, we live together, share everything, have joint account. And you know what... I was wrong. When I look at my wedding band I get such a feeling of peace, being married really is different. Can calling John husband is still thrilling. Calling my in-laws "in-laws" instead of FUTURE in laws, still takes me by surprise. And John sent me something today that referred to me as his family. And I realized that I truly am. I think the difference is a personal one. I think I was, without realizing holding something back before we were married, and now I'm not. We're family. Really and truly. And it's not a legal designation, or a religious one. It's like a flipped switch in me.

It's neat.
 
Oh Gypsy--you are beautiful!!

I adore that photo above...so lovely.
 
Awesome photo!! Even better description.

I loved reading the description of the relationship with your Mom. It''s so true. btw, I don''t think I was in more than 10 photos of my daughter''s pics either. Mom''s get the shaft on wedding day. It''s not our day anyway. Don''t feel bad about it. Just make sure you pick the best pics. One good pic is better than 5 iffy ones...for us Mom''s anyway.
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Sending you a big hug. (((((((((((((())))))))))))
 
style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 381px">Date: 2/12/2009 2:43:44 AM
Author: Gypsy

Married life is good. It''s weird though... this is the thing I was wondering if I should share here or elsewhere. I guess this is as good a place as any. What''s weird is... all my life I''ve been working toward things. When I was a child I was in a hurry to grow up, when I was a teen I wanted to be an adult to experience love and to have my heart broken to feel and to live. In college I wanted to excel, and to grow and understand how to socialize with my peers, so I strived for that. When I was in lawschool it was a struggle to keep going to work toward that bloody degree, but I did... with John''s help. With John... it''s always been about getting to the next place in our relationship. When I graduated it was about finding a job, then it was about finding the RIGHT job. Then I found the right job for a while, was abused at it, and looked for a better job. Wedding planning was an intense goal driven process...

Now... I am an adult, I have graduated, I have a better job, I make a decent salary and John and I are married, the wedding is over. And... I''m left wondering... what''s next? I wonder if this is part of why people have children-- so they can do it all again, experience all that drive, that constant motion, that feeling of being alive again through their children''s eyes.

And yet, I don''t want kids. At least... I don''t want to be pregnant ever. I''m rather phobic about it actually. It terrifies me. I think I might eventually be okay with adopting an older child (4-5-6-7), but John and I are both not there yet, and don''t know if we''ll ever be.

Which has left me wondering... what next? What do I work toward? I''m not a particularly ambitious person about my career. I secretly hate what I do. I''m thinking that once I kick this illness (okay so I can''t kick it, but once it''s being managed better) and regain some strength and get some energy I might start taking courses again. I loved learning. I almost feel like I *should* take useful courses... business courses or courses that further my career, but I don''t want to. I want to take pottery, and art, and drawing... I want a portal to some creativity in my life that I lack now. But I worry about the time that will take away from John and my cats, and since I work so much as it is. But then I think, a once a week course, if I can take it on the weekend might be great. But I wonder if that will fullfill that need for movement, for striving for feeling alive again. I feel stuck. Not in my marriage. But I think the fact that we weren''t married, and were working TOWARD getting married, then tossed into the hectic mess that is wedding planning masked the feeling, covered it up... but now that we are married and everything. It''s there... and it''s unavoidable.

Does that make sense to anyone?
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Um, yes! :)

I am not married, but what you have stated describes much of what I have been thinking and feeling. I have been with my BF for 10 years, so obviously, we have not been rushing to get married. However, we will eventually get married and I often think about "what''s next?" We are really not sure about children, though I need to stop avoiding the topic, as I am approaching 32. Kids scare the heck out of me and so does being preggo. Like you, my life has been goal oriented...especially with school. I had to do well in school so that I could go to a good college, and then I had to excel in college so that I could go to a good grad program. Struggled through grad school with the vision of having some great job, etc. So now I am working in a field I could care less about, my BF has an ok job, we live together, so now what? For me, getting married is a moment in time that passes quickly, so it is really not something I am looking forward to planning. I suppose I could distract myself with recreational activities to pass the time, however, I do not just want to pass the time. Ugghghgh.

You also stated that you were holding back before you were married, which I can totally relate to as I am going through that now. It is hard to describe, but even after all of these years, I still have an emotional wall up. Not sure why or where it comes from, but it driving me crazy. Hopefully, I will be able to let my guard down after we are married.

So anyways, did not mean to threadjack, sorry about that, just feeling emotional today...


Your engagement photo is beautiful and it is so wonderful that there is so much meaning behind it. So for you, it is not just a pretty picture, it is a meaningful photograph.

Glad to hear your new job is going well. Are you having dreams about your old job? Once in a while, I will have a dream about my last job, which can be disturbing, but at least I experience that maybe every few months.

So anyways, I am glad you are doing well and that married life has been a wonderful experience thus far...
 
Hey girl! Just wanted to send a hello and some hugs your way. I''ve been MIA a lot lately (obviously). Also, I am taking your advice on school, I am going to a more regional, but a bit less expensive school. It''s going to be great (well as great as law school can be anyway)! I am very excited as you can tell!
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Date: 8/27/2008 2:12:07 PM
Author: Gypsy


Let’s see. This is weird, I am self absorbed, but it does seem strange just to prattle on about myself. Not that I don’t anyway, but in short spurts, not like this.




Okay so, John.
John and I met while I was in law school. We had a mutual acquaintance that kept telling us we’d be perfect for each other but… both of us shrugged it off. I was in the beginning stages of seeing someone else, and he was put off by the whole “wants to be a lawyer thing”… then one night we ended up talking, and didn’t stop till 12 hours later! We had a lot in common, made each other laugh and just had a really good time. The next night was talked for another 12 hours. John isn’t a talker normally, either. After a couple of weeks, I told him I was moving back to CA for the summer, and wasn’t sure I’d be back to the east coast as I was seriously re-considering law school. He panicked and blurted out… “But… you can’t, I think I’m falling in love with you.” Then he realized what he said, and fell off his chair. We spent a few days together after that, and really got to know each other more. He helped me move out of my apartment, and put my furniture into storage. Then took me to the airport. We talked for months after, and then he sent me a ticket to come out and see him for my birthday (2 months later). I went and things were just… magical. I had already decided to take that semester off of school, but in that week with him I decided that I would give law school another shot. Honestly, more to be with John than anything else. So in December of 1999 we moved in together, I returned to law school. And we’ve been together since. I did graduate law school, but it was a difficult process for me because I REALLY hated it. But I have to say now, I’m glad I didn’t quit. I don’t think I could have gotten through it without him, and I can’t imagine my life without him. Or my cats.


Linda, Thank you! I can’t wait to meet you either. We’ll have to plan one for November. Or late October. What do you think?




Miranda, yes, that’s exactly it. I spent hours poring over websites and magazines and anything I could get my hands on. Writing is very therapeutic, honestly. I wish I had time/inclination to do it now. Although, the first couple months of this job here have really given me a lot of material to work with. It may not be as hard to start this book off again as I thought.




If you guys like… I can share a passage out of my novel with you and you can tell me if I should keep going? I used to want to be a writer. Now, I just want to finish a book, for me. Just to be able to say, in my own mind. I finished that. Ya know?




Sarah, I have NEVER done fondue. I’ve been with John since I was 24 so… by the time I was old enough to have discretionary income to afford that kind of stuff I was with him, and HE doesn’t like fondue. BUT just a couple months ago he broke down and PROMISED that we’d go. I would actually love to do it next week for my B-day. But I can’t afford anything like that before the wedding. Maybe in October we’ll go. We have a couple of places around here with good reviews. I think I’m going to ADORE IT though. What are you favorite romance novels? I’ve been reading them since my VERY early teens, so if you need any recommendations, let me know.




Miracles, not really a closet romance reader. I have so many of the things (I like to keep my books and re-read them) they permeate my home (usually just my bedroom and office). Yes, the no editing thing takes some getting used to.
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Wow, psycho much?
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Yes Beau, stay out of Gypsy''s Whos Who.
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We thought you were leaving. Why are you back, again and again and again.
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RUDE and absolutely uncalled for.

More importantly, I love that engagement photo of you and John, Gypsy! You look gorgeous and I love the sentiment behind it.
 
Hey Gypsy,
Looks like someone is very jealous. Take THAT as a compliment. I hope all is well. I am home tomorrow, boo. I want to stay here forever.
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Holy passive aggressiveness there...This could be a new Animal Planet show..."When emoticons attack"
 
Please be respectful of Gypsy and her thread and stay on topic. Thank you.
 
Date: 2/12/2009 3:00:02 AM
Author: Gypsy
Okay... so as a way to make up for being so bad... here''s my favorite pic from our engagment shoot (and the only one I have a digital of). It personifies our relationship. I''m the visible one... but he''s always there...strong and silent... and looking out toward the possibiliities. But we shelter each other.


I''m getting poetic. Must be the pain meds. LOL.
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This is such a sweet picture. I love it.
 
Ohhhhhh.


Gypsy, I just wanted to tell you how absolutely beautiful that photo of you & your hubby is. It seems so familiar, somehow.
 
Aww, Coati, thank you. I felt beautiful that day. It was such a special day.


Hi Miracles-- Thank you. As for mother daughter relationships. Ours goes through some seriously heavy up''s and down''s. Crazy times man. I think my whole family is surprised at how few pictures they were in (except for grandma who kept popping in on the pics).

Skippy, you give the best hugs... (((HUG BACK)))

Omi... that totally wasn''t a thread jack at all! It''s comforting to know that someone else understands this feeling. John and I have been together for 10 years as well, and it''s definitely a question. I am phobic about being preggers, seriously terrified, so we are thinking about adopting within the next five years. We''ll see.

Feel free to chat with me about this here, I''d love to Omi... maybe we can work through it together.

Sarah!!! YAY! I''ve missed you, but I''m so glad that you are on the right path for yourself! Tell me more when you have time (or link me to a post where you talk about it all!)

Wow. Thank you Wishful, Linda (ROFLMAO), Icekid (I love that picture!), Kaleigh-- oh I''m sorry it has to end, vacations are so wonderful I''m so happy you enjoyed it so much! Thank you Hudson and Big T!!!
 
Gypsy, just popping in to say how much I love the pic, it is stunning!!!
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What a sweet picture, gypsy! You look beautiful and in love!
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Aww, thank you both very much Lorelei and Joflier!!
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Gypsy, I just love beach pictures and yours turned out great!
 
Thank you very much Steph!

Any day now I''m expecting all of our digitals (not just the one) ... so I''m gonna be posting like a lunatic because so many of the pics were just wonderful!
 
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