What’s your mindset that helps you survive health challenges?

[diamondyes]

I’m feeling a bit distraught as I deal with some health issues. I feel like the mental worry is almost as bad as the physical discomfort.

How do you cope? What has worked for you? Maybe I should buy more jewelry?

 

[Dreamer_D]

I have had health struggles for years and have a few chronic health conditions. A combination of self-compassion (self kindness, reflecting on health issues as a shared reality for many, living in the moment) morbid humour (“life’s and bitch and then you die”) gets me through. Also a general practice of accepting that I have no control over these things. Easier said than done!

 

[Karl_K]

Mentally throw it in the f-it bucket and one step at a time and prayer.
Sometimes ya just have to say f-it and keep on keeping on.

 

[kenny]

Years back I had surgery for cancer, and now in my late 60s I have multiple life-threatening conditions.
I'm now on around 20 prescriptions.

But I wouldn't say I have any "mindset".
I just do what's necessary to survive: I endeavor to do my best with the cards life has dealt me.
That means aggressively getting the best medical care I can, and strictly obeying all of my doctors.
When a doctor sucks, I fire them.

Best of all, I have a wonderful DH!
Also I ruthlessly keep ALL toxic people out of my life.
For me, that makes all the difference in the world.
I do not remain in relationships that make me suffer.
It blows my mind how many people remain in abusive relationships to (in their minds) be a nice person.

I find nurturing my psychology, and guarding my mental state, reduces anxiety over my physical challenges.

 

[Mrsz1ppy]

Edited my previous post, and went past the time limit. Sorry for the double.

I don’t know if what I’m doing will be helpful, but I will share my process.

I was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer 8/22/23.

I started having panic attacks when I started pre-treatment MRI and Port placement and looked at wigs. Never had them before, (panic attacks or wigs, to clarify) although I’ve been on antidepressants since my mid 30s. Haven’t been in therapy for years, so I found a therapist and got my first Rx for anti-anxiety meds, and they really helped me submit to treatment. Rationally, I knew I needed to do it, but emotionally I didn’t want to die bald and mutilated.

The day my hair fell out, I watched every Sinead O’Connor video I could find.

Another big help has been the online breast cancer support group on Reddit, and the TNBC group on Facebook, although Reddit has been the best. I also got immunotherapy induced Hypothyroidism in February, and again Reddit has been a great educational source for the new diagnosis.

When my daughter was dxed 29 years ago with autism, my mother gave me some advice that works here too. She lost a 3 year old child, so had been through a traumatic situation. She told me that it will waste your energy trying to talk to and explain your situation to people who haven’t shared the experience. They can’t replenish and support you the way someone who has been through the same thing can.

I found that to be true with many of my life challenges.

Once I decided to commit to treatment for the breast cancer, I was/am compliant. Getting a treatment plan and over the first chemo hurdle helped. I do a ton of research on the various steps, and my (limited) choices, and so far my doctors have responded well to what decisions I have made.

To one of your questions, yes, I wanted an ‘I have cancer jewelry present’, a bracelet like Neptune’s gold cuff with the attached platinum diamond brooch (?). So I bought the most expensive single piece I’ve ever bought from Dolly, and found out there was no way to make it work. So I bought another bracelet I fell in love with from TRR, at 25% of the price of the other one. Love it! And have had DK make various pieces for me out of the big bad brooch. Will try to attach pictures. The longer this has gone on, though, the less the bling is a comfort. I’ve been trying to set my loose stones because that will be more saleable, but that comes more under the estate management side of things.

Unfortunately, my surgery found residual cancer, so I now have to have 6 more months of chemo that causes hand and foot syndrome. I have so many blisters on my hands that it is not even comfortable to wear jewelry now. But I did switch it up and blinged myself out during the first chemo cycle. Looking forward to October when this will be in the rear view mirror.

The other thing I am doing is writing a memoir about the experience. I have found that the trauma of cancer has brought back other traumas I have experienced. Some of the things I learned from previous experiences has helped, some has made my loss feel greater. It is another scary lonely journey.

As they say on Reddit, this is my experience. Your mileage may vary.

Hope you are getting the love and support you deserve.

And now, bling pics! All except the lavender spinel ring were made with sapphires and diamonds from the big bad brooch. Second bracelet I love, and the BBB.

 

[missy]

I do not find bling helps when I feel like this
No material thing helps quiet my mind/quell my fears when I am feeling overwhelmed or scared or worried

This is what works for me

I do the "one day at a time" and "one hour at a time" when I am feeling overwhelmed
I put it in perspective (which can be hard to do if it is life threatening or even life altering)
I count my blessings. I think of all I am grateful for and appreciate the good
I lean on my loved ones. Mainly my dh but a few good friends too
I realize we are all here for only a short time and we cannot control everything
So I control what I can and work hard at being at peace with the rest
And I find activity helps quiet my mind. Sweating is like a tonic that calms me
I run on the treadmill
I cycle many miles for many hours (love cycling by the sea...I feel free)
I lift weights
I dance
I listen to my favorite music
I cuddle with my cats, my dh

And when all else fails I have a good cry. It is cathartic for me. It cleanses my mind and soul and allows me to get the strength I need to get through the challenges


Life is finite
I am all to aware how finite it is
It can be hard to be at peace with the fact that yes, we are all going to die
But hopefully not for a long time
When I was little and upset about something my dad always said to me "Missy, no one gets out of this life alive" and I would laugh
But no truer words have ever been spoken


I am sorry for your challenges @diamondyes sending you well wishes and gentle hugs

 

[diamondyes]

Edited my previous post, and went past the time limit. Sorry for the double.

I don’t know if what I’m doing will be helpful, but I will share my process.

I was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer 8/22/23.

I started having panic attacks when I started pre-treatment MRI and Port placement and looked at wigs. Never had them before, (panic attacks or wigs, to clarify) although I’ve been on antidepressants since my mid 30s. Haven’t been in therapy for years, so I found a therapist and got my first Rx for anti-anxiety meds, and they really helped me submit to treatment. Rationally, I knew I needed to do it, but emotionally I didn’t want to die bald and mutilated.

The day my hair fell out, I watched every Sinead O’Connor video I could find.

Another big help has been the online breast cancer support group on Reddit, and the TNBC group on Facebook, although Reddit has been the best. I also got immunotherapy induced Hypothyroidism in February, and again Reddit has been a great educational source for the new diagnosis.

When my daughter was dxed 29 years ago with autism, my mother gave me some advice that works here too. She lost a 3 year old child, so had been through a traumatic situation. She told me that it will waste your energy trying to talk to and explain your situation to people who haven’t shared the experience. They can’t replenish and support you the way someone who has been through the same thing can.

I found that to be true with many of my life challenges.

Once I decided to commit to treatment for the breast cancer, I was/am compliant. Getting a treatment plan and over the first chemo hurdle helped. I do a ton of research on the various steps, and my (limited) choices, and so far my doctors have responded well to what decisions I have made.

To one of your questions, yes, I wanted an ‘I have cancer jewelry present’, a bracelet like Neptune’s gold cuff with the attached platinum diamond brooch (?). So I bought the most expensive single piece I’ve ever bought from Dolly, and found out there was no way to make it work. So I bought another bracelet I fell in love with from TRR, at 25% of the price of the other one. Love it! And have had DK make various pieces for me out of the big bad brooch. Will try to attach pictures.

Unfortunately, my surgery found residual cancer, so I now have to have 6 more months of chemo that causes hand and foot syndrome. I have so many blisters on my hands that it is not even comfortable to wear jewelry now. But I did switch it up and blinged myself out during the first chemo cycle. Looking forward to October when this will be in the rear view mirror.

The other thing I am doing is writing a memoir about the experience. I have found that the trauma of cancer has brought back other traumas I have experienced. Some of the things I learned from previous experiences has helped, some has made my loss feel greater. It is another scary lonely journey.

As they say on Reddit, this is my experience. Your mileage may vary.

Hope you are getting the love and support you deserve.

And now, bling pics! All except the lavender spinel ring were made with sapphires and diamonds from the big bad brooch. Second bracelet I love, and the BBB.

Thank you so much for sharing all of this. Your strength and taste in bling inspires me. I feel your strength and I admire the beauty of these! Thank you thank you. I also admire Neptune’s cuff… did she have it made?

 

[diamondyes]

Edited my previous post, and went past the time limit. Sorry for the double.

I don’t know if what I’m doing will be helpful, but I will share my process.

I was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer 8/22/23.

I started having panic attacks when I started pre-treatment MRI and Port placement and looked at wigs. Never had them before, (panic attacks or wigs, to clarify) although I’ve been on antidepressants since my mid 30s. Haven’t been in therapy for years, so I found a therapist and got my first Rx for anti-anxiety meds, and they really helped me submit to treatment. Rationally, I knew I needed to do it, but emotionally I didn’t want to die bald and mutilated.

The day my hair fell out, I watched every Sinead O’Connor video I could find.

Another big help has been the online breast cancer support group on Reddit, and the TNBC group on Facebook, although Reddit has been the best. I also got immunotherapy induced Hypothyroidism in February, and again Reddit has been a great educational source for the new diagnosis.

When my daughter was dxed 29 years ago with autism, my mother gave me some advice that works here too. She lost a 3 year old child, so had been through a traumatic situation. She told me that it will waste your energy trying to talk to and explain your situation to people who haven’t shared the experience. They can’t replenish and support you the way someone who has been through the same thing can.

I found that to be true with many of my life challenges.

Once I decided to commit to treatment for the breast cancer, I was/am compliant. Getting a treatment plan and over the first chemo hurdle helped. I do a ton of research on the various steps, and my (limited) choices, and so far my doctors have responded well to what decisions I have made.

To one of your questions, yes, I wanted an ‘I have cancer jewelry present’, a bracelet like Neptune’s gold cuff with the attached platinum diamond brooch (?). So I bought the most expensive single piece I’ve ever bought from Dolly, and found out there was no way to make it work. So I bought another bracelet I fell in love with from TRR, at 25% of the price of the other one. Love it! And have had DK make various pieces for me out of the big bad brooch. Will try to attach pictures.

Unfortunately, my surgery found residual cancer, so I now have to have 6 more months of chemo that causes hand and foot syndrome. I have so many blisters on my hands that it is not even comfortable to wear jewelry now. But I did switch it up and blinged myself out during the first chemo cycle. Looking forward to October when this will be in the rear view mirror.

The other thing I am doing is writing a memoir about the experience. I have found that the trauma of cancer has brought back other traumas I have experienced. Some of the things I learned from previous experiences has helped, some has made my loss feel greater. It is another scary lonely journey.

As they say on Reddit, this is my experience. Your mileage may vary.

Hope you are getting the love and support you deserve.

And now, bling pics! All except the lavender spinel ring were made with sapphires and diamonds from the big bad brooch. Second bracelet I love, and the BBB.

Oh and your TRR bracelet makes me want to weep with its beauty! TRR you say? Incredible.

 

[diamondyes]

I do not find bling helps when I feel like this
No material thing helps quiet my mind/quell my fears when I am feeling overwhelmed or scared or worried

This is what works for me

I do the "one day at a time" and "one hour at a time" when I am feeling overwhelmed
I put it in perspective (which can be hard to do if it is life threatening or even life altering)
I count my blessings. I think of all I am grateful for and appreciate the good
I lean on my loved ones. Mainly my dh but a few good friends too
I realize we are all here for only a short time and we cannot control everything
So I control what I can and work hard at being at peace with the rest
And I find activity helps quiet my mind. Sweating is like a tonic that calms me
I run on the treadmill
I cycle many miles for many hours (love cycling by the sea...I feel free)
I lift weights
I dance
I listen to my favorite music
I cuddle with my cats, my dh

And when all else fails I have a good cry. It is cathartic for me. It cleanses my mind and soul and allows me to get the strength I need to get through the challenges


Life is finite
I am all to aware how finite it is
It can be hard to be at peace with the fact that yes, we are all going to die
But hopefully not for a long time
When I was little and upset about something my dad always said to me "Missy, no one gets out of this life alive" and I would laugh
But no truer words have ever been spoken


I am sorry for your challenges @diamondyes sending you well wishes and gentle hugs

My dad says that too. <3

Thank you.

 

[missy]

Also I'm ruthlessly about keeping ALL toxic people out of my life.
For me, that makes all the difference in the world.
I do not remain in relationships that make me suffer.

I find nurturing my psychology and mental state helps put physical problems into perspective.

100% agree. I feel so much lighter after getting rid of toxic relationships in my life. Sometimes you are so close you cannot even see how toxic til after you leave. Wise words Kenny

 

[Begonia]

I succumb to crying and despair for a few hours. Then I put one foot in front of the other and start/restart again using every resource available to me.
I pray.
I meditate.
I walk.
I try to stop thinking and breathe.
I listen to music and dance.
I drink tea and summon my ancestors.

 

[Mrsz1ppy]

Thank you so much for sharing all of this. Your strength and taste in bling inspires me. I feel your strength and I admire the beauty of these! Thank you thank you. I also admire Neptune’s cuff… did she have it made?

No idea. Neptune doesn’t share very much. I think she values her privacy. But I think she found it as is. Sure is gorgeous!

 

[maryjane04]

Thinking of you @diamondyes and although I don't have any wisdom to offer, I can offer a distraction. Please feel free to start a thread if you need help looking for a cuff bangle as I too have admired Neptune's cuff and looked at a few myself.

Sending you healing vibes!

 

[Amber St. Clare]

I have had crappy heath for the last 3 years. After feeling sorry for myself {and making everyone around me miserable} I decided to listen to the universe and what it is trying to tell me; I meditate and pray. I also stopped getting upset about things I couldn't control.

eta: I don't my meditation in the morning and a quick prayer throughout the day My friend has brain cancer and I usually do one dedicated to him.

 

[marymm]

I do sufficient research about what's happening to my body and what things I may be able to do or buy that may ease any symptoms during the interim, I take great self-care, I ask questions of the medical professions, I make sure I trust the medical team, I keep loved ones in the loop sufficient to support me, I change my priority to do what I can and must to get through each day, I try to keep doubts and fears away, and I keep plugging away each day .... I remind myself that worrying is actually hurting my body and mind, and try to keep it in check to the extent it is realistic.

I'm really pragmatic, but for sure distractions like rereading favorite books, rewatching favorite movies, listening to my music , talking/seeing people who are easy and comfortable helps me get through the limbo period of waiting for diagnoses etc.

I am sending you positive vibes for best possible outcome.

 

[kenny]

Great post, marrym.
Lot of good points!

 

[Kim N]

I'm sorry you're having health issues, diamondyes. I found that leaning on my loved ones and on the forum helped me feel stronger mentally. Don't hesitate to come here for support. It also helped to do little things that I enjoy, like taking a walk in a pretty forest (and enjoying the bling light show) or reading a new book from a favorite author. Sending you healing vibes and wishing you a positive outcome.

 

[dk168]

My health issues are nothing compared to what some of the posters have mentioned in this thread, and I wish you all a speedy recovery!

In 2017/8, I realised I could be heading towards being a diabetic with increase in thirst and more frequent need to go to the loo, and it came as a blow when I was confirmed as being Type 2 Diabetic in 2018.

I believe I would have started my menopause around the same time.

I had been relatively healthy until then, with only the odd bouts of heavy cold usually once a year, and had full blown flu only once or twice.

When I was employed by one company for 12 years, I had taken less than 5 days of sick leave in total, and every time I had to fill in a sick form, I discovered it had been updated!

My cholesterol had also started to rise, not uncommon with being diabetic.

I had to make some changes to my diet, and am on oral medications to keep the diabetes and cholesterol under control most of the time. There had been some occasional blips, e.g. when I went on holiday in Canada to visit my family recently and drank a lot of sugary drinks like bubble teas and slushy!

In 2020, during a routine mammogram shortly before the Covid pandemic had started, Calcium deposits were found in one side and set off alarm bells. I was advised to have biopsy and to take out the Calcium deposits at the same time, and two trips were made to the hospital during the pandemic, including a day surgery.

My mind had been set for some time prior to this health scare as to what I would do in the event of a degenerative or terminal illness that would significantly reduce my enjoyment of life. However, it was still a relief when I found out there was no indication of cancer, and I had been given the all clear since then with no further signs of Calcium deposits.

If and when I am diagnosed with a degenerative and terminal illness, I would like to know how much longer I would live without treatment except for pain relief, so that I could go about sorting out my affairs, go and say goodbye to my nearest and dearest, have a nice holiday and some very nice food and drink, before I go to Dignitas in Switzerland (I am a member).

I have seen and experienced the devastating effects of people going through degenerative and terminal illnesses, and also the effects to their loved ones, and I do not wish to be a burden to anyone.

Hence I made the decision while I still have my marbles to do so, to have a managed exit when the time comes.

Staying in control on how I want to end my time on this earth is more important to me than actually dying.

It may sound very morbid, however, that's what I have planned. I suspect my time working as a HCP in palliative care, and having experienced the loss of a parent through cancer have affected my views about dying.

In the meantime, it is business as usual, and I am going out and about enjoying what I do as much as I can.

I cashed in most of my pensions/retirement funds when I was able to a few years ago, so that I could have a RV and go out and about while I am still relatively fit physically and mentally, instead of waiting for another 12 years or so.

To this day, I believe I have made the right decision.

Some time ago, I lost my late partner when he died suddenly of an accident. It was a life-changing event, and it was then when I decided to live life to the full.

Same thing happened with one of my best friends last July when she died suddenly via an accident. She was meant to be a decision making when I am incapacitated, and we talked about her working less so that she could enjoy life more only a few days before she died.

I miss them both dearly.

Not sure if the above helps, however, that's my approach to health and life in general.

Good luck to everyone who is dealing with health issues and get well soon!

DK

 

[HollyC]

Thinking of you @diamondyes. Take care x