Were you deeply sad when it was over?

[winston26]

I got married yesterday! I can''t believe it!! It was surreal. I tried to soak in as much as I could but it was hard to do that and orchestrate several things at the same time. I was verrrrry stressed out during planning. 3 days up until the wedding I lost my appetite and just felt ill!! We also had a lot of family drama. So when I heard people say they went through planning withdrawal, I thought "absolutely not happening to me!" So I''m not missing planning but when the last person left gift opening today I just balled. I''m just so sad it''s over! Anyone else feel that way?

 

[pocahontas]

Oh Winston, I''m so sorry that you''re feeling sad. I''m not married yet - I just got engaged in April - so I have no real words of wisdom to offer you. But, I wanted to send a hug your way and say CONGRATULATIONS on your marriage

I hope you feel better really soon

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I''ve heard this is really common Winston, so you are totally not alone. Congrats and best wishes by the way!

It''s a confusing feeling because you''re so happy, but the build-up is all gone. You spent all this time preparing for one day and it''s over. It totally makes sense, even if it was a bit rough to plan. Also, this may or may not be the case for you, but for me I know I will be feeling some bittersweet feelings for one phase of my life ending and another beginning. It''s just like any other happy, yet huge life-changing event (graduations, etc.) it''s exciting and you''re happy, but at the same time it''s a new place to be and wow all of the sudden all of this stress and time-consuming planning is gone. It takes up a lot of time, so it''s like losing a job or something in a way. Hopefully I''ve made some sense, but to summarize it''s totally normal and I expect to feel the same way. Best wishes again!

 

[Hera]

Yeah, it''s sad. There''s all that work and excitement keeping you busy all for one day and then it all stops. You get all caught up in the romance and all of a sudden it seems like it goes back to where you were before you got engaged. It''s just the two of you at lunch. I was even like, "what now?" My mom had warned me of it, so I knew a little about the sadness. It hangs out for a little while and then it eventually it disappears. The sweet side to it is that you look at your left hand and see your wedding band and you are MARRIED and you''re having lunch with your husband

 

[AmberGretchen]

Honestly, I think I felt sad for about 2 minutes during the last song of the night at our reception. Then I realized I was married to my best friend, and everything was pretty much wonderful from there. Try to focus on how relaxing it is to be able to just spend time with your new husband (!) away from all the family drama and wedding stuff - you''ll feel better soon

 

[iheartscience]

I haven''t gotten married yet but I bet I''ll feel the same way.

I always get kind of depressed after Christmas because I love it so much and then BAM! It''s over! I''m sure it will pass-try to ignore the family drama and enjoy life as a newlywed!

 

[ringster]

Date: 6/9/2008 12:00:35 AM
Author: AmberGretchen
Honestly, I think I felt sad for about 2 minutes during the last song of the night at our reception. Then I realized I was married to my best friend, and everything was pretty much wonderful from there. Try to focus on how relaxing it is to be able to just spend time with your new husband (!) away from all the family drama and wedding stuff - you''ll feel better soon

i didn''t feel sad -- like amber i felt so extremely happy to be starting a new phase of life with my guy.

though i do think that it is common for people to feel this way. my good friend''s husband actually told me that he felt depressed a bit after the wedding. he had been so busy with planning the wedding with his wife that afterwards when there wasn''t much to do, he felt kind of blah. so don''t worry! it''s like any big project you take on, once it is over it can feel like there is void. ambergretchen gave some great advice. just focus on the happy thoughts! and maybe time to start a new project -- i''m all into redecorating now ! (much to mr. ringster''s chagrin!)

 

[zoebartlett]

I''ve wondered about this myself. Like Thing2, I was going to relate it to Christmas. You wait so long to celebrate with loved ones, and then the day comes and goes so quickly. I haven''t gotten married yet but I imagine I''ll feel the same way. It''s like, "well, now what do we do? What do we talk about?" I''m sure that feeling goes away, but I imagine there would be some adjustment time needed.

 

[swimmer]

I was really sad on the flight back home to Boston after the wedding down south. We were leaving all our relative and many of our friends and headed back to our tiny apt, the end of the semester, and bad weather. I snapped out of it, but only because DH made a list of things that would be new and fantastic because we were now married. Also, here is a plug for not going on the honeymoon immediately, we have something to plan together and get excited about. If we had honeymooned immediately we would have had a thrown together trip because the wedding took such effort. Now we are getting the research and will have a better time together since we will have more planned and have more familiarity with what we want to and can do. I know some of you amazing folks can plan both a wedding and a honeymoon, but we need to break our assignments into smaller tasks.
Things to do to overcome the coming down from cloud nine:
Attack the paperwork to change your name
Design your photo album
Write personal thank you notes
Use all those gift cards with friends
Create oragami with leftover papergoods from the wedding
Recycle all those peanuts
Take turn making dinners with DH that necessitate the use of random kitchen equipment that you just got from well meaning folks
Write imaginary wedding announcements for yourselves (and then submit a real one)
Donate things you no longer need/want to Goodwill or have a yard sale, the season is upon us!
Volunteer with DH, check craigslist or idealist for local places that need folks to paint, clear brush, something you can collaborate on together.

What else? I must get some coffee, better brains will come up with more ideas.

 

[IrishBreakfast]

I was lucky in a way: we got married and moved to Arizona 9 days later so there were more plans and arrangements to deal with after the wedding. I can totally understand how you would feel a little down but it will pass - promise!

 

[Pandora II]

It''s normal.

I run a lot of events for work, the biggest being an annual ball for 300-400 people. It''s about 8 months of planning with the last 2 dedicated to only that.

Every year I sit and bawl my eyes out for 2 hours once it''s over - just a complete release of pent-up stress.

I get the day off afterwards and I always feel really down - and I don''t even have the emotional interest that one does with a wedding! It wears off after about a week.


I''ve planned our honeymoon for a few months after the wedding so I get to plan that - plus I have the ball starting to close in, so I probably won''t get a really bad downer.

 

[Selkie]

Absolutely, but not until after the honeymoon when we were on the plane back to Los Angeles from Boston. And then I was REALLY sad. At least I had a west coast reception to plan for the next month. Then the proofs came, then the actual photos, and we designed the albums. So, gradually you get through it. Now we''re planning our first anniversary!

I do have to say, PS was a great "nicotine patch" to help me through my post wedding blues! First with posting pics and the story, and then with watching other BIW friends go through the same process.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I was actually very happy when the wedding ended--I was tired! Our guests were all staying on the property, though, so when they all left 2 days later and it was just me and DH on the property and we packed up our car and left, I was a teensy bit sad. It just felt odd...not because of all the planning, but just because it was such an important day and I kind of felt like we were leaving it behind or something. Seriously, though, it only lasted a few minutes...by the time we got home a half of an hour later I was sort of filled with a whole new excitement. We were walking back into our home as a married couple and it was fun. I remember saying "Hey, husband, do you want to go see a movie?" and he said "yeah, that would be perfect" and that was it. Right back to our normal lives!!

 

[surfgirl]

yeah, it''s normal. To a point. Dont get lost in forgetting how lucky we all are in that we can afford to even have weddings, let alone pretty rings and dresses and all that stuff. So many of my colleagues in developing countries dont have anything like that so it helped to keep me in check. Did I feel a bit let down afterwards? Sure. I planned it all in less than 3 months and then it was over. But it went off perfectly and then I planned how to print and present photos to our family. Presents came in for months afterwards so each one was like a little reminder of our wedding day. And we had to postpone our honeymoon so we still have that to look forward to. So all in all, just keep a healthy perspective on things and you''ll be fine!

 

[winston26]

Thanks you guys! PS has been a help in so many ways. Thanks for all the advice. And here I thought in the beginning it was just about diamonds!

Swimmer, I might just print out that list you gave. Good ideas!
Pandora, that is exactly how I feel. That makes me feel better that someone else reacts the same way!
IrishBreakfast--How do you like AZ? One of our big discussions is whether or not we should move from WI to Phoenix. I''m curious what you think of it there.

I''ve been analyzing why I feel so weird. I think it''s a few things--seeing my tattered, dirty, never to be worn again wedding dress in my closet and my browning, wilting bouquet hanging, and the stained wrecked shoes is just down right sad in itself! Maybe I should pack them away. It also might be that DH and I knew each other 14 yrs and felt kinda married already; I was thinking we''d feel all together different but we don''t really. And....I invited a lot of friends I haven''t seen for a very long time. I just loved seeing them so much and am sad to see them go again! Although...the coolest part is that my friends had such a good time with other friends of mine that they didn''t know before and now they are making plans for us all to get together.