Weight loss bet with husband - any tips?

[Circe]

My husband and I could both stand to lose a little weight, but we need additional motivation (I do wonder if this is A Thing with married people generally - when you're single, you want to attract people, but once you're mated for life and still attracted to one another regardless of size ... harder to justify giving up the tasty treats). So, we made a bet: person who loses the most weight in a month gets to choose the next vacation spot.

The thing is, men have better metabolisms, generally, so I need an edge. I've started by scheduling in a half hour on the elliptical every day, and cutting all booze - I usually have a glass of wine or two at dinner, so I figure that should get me off to a nice start. No sweet tooth, and I'll be sorta-dieting in that less-food, much-more-protein sort of a way. Any other suggestions?

 

[amc80]

What works the best for me is cutting out flour (and rice). That leaves you with meats, fruits, and veggies.

 

[chrono]

Decrease carbs in a huge way, cut out sugar and bring your consumption of processed/packaged food as low as possible if you haven't already done so. Yes, alcohol holds a surprising large count of calories. The same goes for any liquids (carbonated, shakes, juices and specialty coffees). Lots and lots of plain unadulterated water.

If you enjoy eating out, be aware of where the hidden fats are. They are in salad dressings, sauces, and garnishes.

It sucks that men just look at their jogging shoes and shed pounds just like that.

 

[yennyfire]

Nothing to add, just want to wish you success! Where do you want to go on your next vacation, since we know that you'll win!!

 

[TooPatient]

Eat small meals more often. 5 mini meals leaves you felling fuller, keeps your body metabolism up, etc.... Just be super careful to really watch what you eat or you could easily drift into extra full size meals.

Park in the outer lot and walk.
Take the stairs.
Eat slow so your brain can get the signal that you've had enough before you have too much.
Lots of water.
30 Day Shred.

 

[wildcat03]

If I cut out dairy, I lose weight very quickly. Too bad I love all dairy.

 

[baby monster]

Are you doing absolute numbers or percentage of initial weight? Men can usually drop weight easily bc of metabolism and higher mass. Second major starch and sugar reduction. Nothing with flour, potatoes, rice, grains, sugar and alcohol. Lots of water.

 

[SMC]

I use an app on my phone, MyFitnessPal (also available as a website), to keep track of the calories I'm eating and the exercise I'm doing. It's handy because if you're eating any packaged food (including eggs, bags of washed spinach, etc), you can just use the barcode scanner on the phone to get all the nutrition info into the app quickly. I think this app helps because it makes me more conscious about what I eat as I have to put it into the app!

Is the bet as a percentage of body weight? I hope it's not absolute pounds as I assume he weighs more than you do.

 

[JewelFreak]

Good on the eliptical -- exercise is the key for me, groan. Walking is really really effective & all that fresh air good for the lungs too.

Weight Watchers recommends a small cheat when you have a killer craving -- keeps you from blowing it bigtime when you can't stand it anymore. Like only a couple of bites of something, just to take the edge off -- I allow myself that one time per week when dieting. It helps.

 

[Harpertoo]

Can you redefine the bet as who looses a greater % of starting body weight?
Otherwise it seems to likely really favor your husband. (I worked on trading floors for years, and these types of bets were a big deal among the guys for some reason. Although their extreme methods were scary.)


I agree with the other posters that cutting simple carbs or substituting for complex is great for general nutrition. And cardio will boost your metabolism...splitting into twice/day workouts if possible.
Good luck!

 

[missy]

Circe, you're on the right track. I would try to increase cardio to about an hour plus a day if you can manage to timewise with your LO. If not then just take stairs when you can and walk as much as possible. Cutting alcohol will totally help. When I cut a glass of wine with my weekend dinners I lost a few pounds without doing anything else LOL and I wasn't trying to. I cut it out for a different reason altogether.

You need to load up on complex carbs to give you energy as well as protein. And weight training increases metabolism too. Also ditto baby monster, harpertoo and sortmon re weight loss percentage. You shouldn't be comparing absolute lbs but instead percentage of weight lost IMO.

This is what works for me. Lots of veggies/salad/lean protein like chickpeas and black beans/fruit and I never let myself feel deprived. I eat a lot but I am eating high fiber/nutritious foods. And exercise exercise exercise. It really works!
Oh, and not eating out as much. Eating at home or bringing your lunch gives you absolute control over what you are eating.

Good luck and ultimately you'll both be winners!!!

Where do you want to vacation next?

 

[PintoBean]

I find cooking at home helps with weight loss, especially if you eat out a lot. I'm more mindful of my ingredients when I cook something.

Green tea in lieu of coffee. I drink my green tea plain, whereas my coffee is only palatable for me with a tsp of sugar and soy creamer or half and half.

Lunge around the house as opposed to walking. (that's LUnge, not LOUnge... )

 

[Kelinas]

Try to drink a full glass of water every hour. If you insist upon wanting a different beverage, drink a whole glass of water first. (This curbs the urge )
When eating, try to chew the food at least 10 times before swallowing. Try to only focus on eating- watching tv distracts you and you tend to eat more. If you are still hungry after eating, wait 30 minutes before getting seconds - most of the time, you aren't hungry, it just takes a while for your brain to realize that.
Snack all day- the less hungry at dinner the better.

Avoid all soda, fried food, processed food. Might be a nice time to try the paleo diet
And a brisk walk twice a day helps.
I did all the above, started walking (now I run at least 5 miles a day ) and I dropped 31 lbs
Good luck

 

[Rosebloom]

You can do it Circe!! I agree that cutting carbs is super effective. I go to a fabulous integrative health doctor and his weight loss advice is to cut all carbs (even fruit) for a week and then slowly add carbs back into your diet until you're no longer losing weight. Then you'll know how many carbs your body can handle without putting on the pounds.

Threadjack: this weekend we had a Chicago PS GTG. We saw a lovely ruby band so naturally the conversation turned into a discussion of how much we all covet your collection. But we had different ways of pronouncing your screen name. Could you give us a phonetic spelling? So when we're drooling over your jewelry collection half way around the country at least we're pronouncing your pretend name right?

 

[iheartscience]

Think about adding some weight training, especially squats. Those use your biggest muscles which will up your metabolism. And if you want to go all out, follow the "paleo" diet. So protein, veggies, not a ton of fruit, only complex carbs (like sweet potatoes) and no dairy or alcohol. I lost 8 pounds in 40 days eating paleo and working out 5-6 days a week.

 

[Rosebloom]

You can do it Circe!! I agree that cutting carbs is super effective. I go to a fabulous integrative health doctor and his weight loss advice is to cut all carbs (even fruit) for a week and then slowly add carbs back into your diet until you're no longer losing weight. Then you'll know how many carbs your body can handle without putting on the pounds.

Threadjack: this weekend we had a Chicago PS GTG. We saw a lovely ruby band so naturally the conversation turned into a discussion of how much we all covet your collection. But we had different ways of pronouncing your screen name. Could you give us a phonetic spelling? So when we're drooling over your jewelry collection half way around the country at least we're pronouncing your pretend name right?

PS I typed the above while eating a chocolate chocolate chip cookie warm from the oven. Just wanted to come clean.

 

[MissStepcut]

I would buy a food scale and fairly carefully count calories for a few days. Getting a clear picture of what you're really eating is important. I lost 100 lbs in high school by carefully counting calories, but over time your brain helps you cheat and think you are eating fewer calories than you really are. It helps to stop and really count once in a while instead of just estimating.

Some people have had a lot of success restricting carbs, but all that fatty meat didn't work for me. I went off extreme carb restriction and am FINALLY being successful taking off the baby weight. I think the ratios of macros just work differently for everyone.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I simply cannot count anything. But I think the most sure way to weight loss and keeping it off is basically using a diabetic diet of cutting out sugar and those white processed flour carbs and other simple carbs like corn and potatoes. We eat fruit such as apples, oranges, grapes, but no bananas. It works and you never have to count a thing. You can lose a pound a week doing this with zero exercise. Obviously with exercise it is greater. We have just decided to eat this way all the time because it is much healthier!

Everyone has already told you the food to avoid, but I found this list a big help when narrowing down what we could eat:

http://www.lifetimefatloss.com/support-files/printablelglist4.2.11.pdf

I have to add that I would never try to lose a bunch of weight in one month, because that is weight that likely will be gained back. I'd probably make the bet to end at 6 months (and by percentage lost, not total pounds). The thing is, if you eat healthy and then get to your target weight in a few months, you'll be used to eating that way, and an occasional potato or banana won't kill you!

 

[amc80]

I would buy a food scale and fairly carefully count calories for a few days. Getting a clear picture of what you're really eating is important. I lost 100 lbs in high school by carefully counting calories, but over time your brain helps you cheat and think you are eating fewer calories than you really are. It helps to stop and really count once in a while instead of just estimating.

Some people have had a lot of success restricting carbs, but all that fatty meat didn't work for me. I went off extreme carb restriction and am FINALLY being successful taking off the baby weight. I think the ratios of macros just work differently for everyone.

Agree on both these points. I think the key to losing weight is finding a strategy that works for you. At the end of the day, it's calories in vs. calories out. There are just so many different mechanisms of doing that. Would you like to be able to eat a wide variety of food, but limit quantity? Then try mydailyplate.com, myfitnesspal, or even weight watchers (their online program is pretty good). Would you rather be able to eat more but exclude certain categories? That's where South Beach and Atkins type plans come into play.

Personally, I know my body prefers low carbs (when I say carbs, I mean flour, rice, pasta, etc....not including fruit in this). Within a few days I feel a lot better and just lighter. Like I said, I did this before my wedding with great success. It was actually fun to stand on the scale every morning because I would have a loss (even if it was .2lbs) every day.

Damn. My loss has stalled recently (I was doing weight watchers) and I think I just talked myself into starting the low carb approach again. It works for me because it's easier for me to exclude certain foods all together than to have the willpower to be able to have just a little bit.

 

[ericad]

Consider Paleo. I've had great results in a short time, and know many people who have had success with it!

 

[missy]

I forgot to mention that I snack on nuts all day long. Mainly almonds but walnuts and pistachios and even pecans at times as well. I eat all day long to keep my energy up and my blood sugar stable. Eating this way also keeps my metabolism going.
This is what works for me and YMMV of course but just wanted to mention it.

I agree with DS in that you need to find a way of eating that you can live with comfortably and enjoy. Diets fail because you cannot keep up any weird way of eating/food restrictions etc.

 

[JaneSmith]

You're all going about this the wrong way.

Circe, just feed your husband extra calories. A pat of butter here, a spoon of sugar there. Or buy him some super high cal weight gain bars and tell him they are appetite suppressants, like in the movie Mean Girls.







I'm kidding.

 

[Kelinas]

You're all going about this the wrong way.

Circe, just feed your husband extra calories. A pat of butter here, a spoon of sugar there. Or buy him some super high cal weight gain bars and tell him they are appetite suppressants, like in the movie Mean Girls.







I'm kidding.

+1million
Jane- this comment made me choke on my water, and totally turned my ugly mood around. Thanks

 

[packrat]

Lift weights. Heavy weights, not light weights that you could do 20+ reps on. Unless you start taking 'roids you will not turn into Arnold-women are not made for it. Not weights that you can barely lift either, ones that you can lift 8-12 reps, 4 sets. Muscle burns more calories than fat does-the more muscle you have on your body the more calories you burn. Do HIIT, High Intensity Interval Training, two maybe three times a week for about 20 minutes-balls to the wall sprints, slap jumps, running bleachers, those kinds of things, w/short rest periods between.

Lots of water, 80-100 oz/day, depending. Lots of protein, veggies. No sugar. Don't cut your calories too much or you'll go into starvation mode.

 

[Fly Girl]

Yep, get rid of processed foods and added sugar. Eat real food, like what people used to eat about 100 years ago.

If you get hungry, remember, you can eat all of the vegetables that you want!

Good luck!

 

[Smith1942]

Hi Circe, I had to lose weight once and it was a nightmare until I got my head in the right place.

Let me just say that I don't believe in excluding any food from your diet except the junk: fried foods, chips, sweets, cookies, cakes etc. Bread gets a bad rap but it's low-calorie and comes baked with lots of vitamins, and is good for your colon if you get the good-quality wholewheat kind. You should eat both potatoes and brown rice because they each offer a set of nutrients that are different from one another. Variety is key to a healthy diet. I did adjust portions to have fewer carbs and more vegetables, but I did not cut out a whole food group or any one single natural food. I wholly disagree with cutting all carbs and avoiding natural foods that are rich in nutrients like corn and potatoes. You need complex carbs for energy. The only foods you should be cutting completely is the junk.

What do I mean about getting my head in the right place? Basically, I forgot about the looks aspect of dieting and started getting tons of pleasure from knowing I was being healthy and giving myself the best chance of fighting off the family cancers. I realized that, as someone not so young anymore (36 then) that looks just didn't matter enough to me to eat very little in order to get snake hips. Although I loved the way Jennifer Aniston looked, my looks just didn't matter enough to me to do it for that reason. Not that I didn't want to look nice, but being bigger than I used to be just didn't bother me at all, as long as I wasn't really huge. But I did need to lose about 25 pounds at one point.

But being healthy...that mattered to me a lot. And when I said no to dessert and had an apple instead, I felt I was investing in my future, I felt in control, I felt productive...it was great.

Once I had entirely forgotten about looks or wanting to squeeze into X item of clothing, and once I re-framed it ENTIRELY as a health issue and nothing but a health issue, it was so easy.

I began to include in my diet every day (include, so all the following is IN ADDITION to all the normal food, not instead of it) four pieces of fruit as snacks between meals, a tall glass of fat-free milk and two cups of green tea. With all that fruit, you won't want to eat the junk, and fruit is a great antioxidant.

Since then I've scoffed pasta and chocolate, sure, but I've never enjoyed it as much since.

Hope this helps! I think you just have to figure out what is YOUR motivator. It felt really liberating to admit to myself that although I love make-up, freshly styled hair etc, looks just don't mean enough to me to keep me on a diet. Similar to recently when, in a travel-crazy world where travelling equals cool, I've admitted that I am not one of life's travelers. Very liberating!

Good luck!

 

[Circe]

Wow, guys, thanks so much for all the good advice! Going in order ....

Amc80, I wish I could say done and DONE, but having done modified Atkins before ... I know I get too obsessive about it (I realized I had gone too far when I found myself eating the cheese off a pizza). But I'm definitely cutting WAY back on both, particularly the rice.

Chrono - good tips, thank you. I think I need to learn to cook more, 'cause about 50% of my diet is takeout and frozen foods, and who knows what's lurking in there. As for the unfairness of the male metabolism, I could not agree more. PLUS they tend to get the monster eyelashes! Where's the justice, I ask you.

Yenny, thanks! I'm pretty consistent in my attitudes towards jewelry and food and travel, I think: I find A Thing that works for me, and I'm happy to just stick to it. I will collect eternity bands until I unnaturally lengthen my fingers, I can eat tuna rolls every night of the week, and I would quite happily swing around from London to Paris to Florence to Venice for every vacation I ever get. My husband is definitely a bigger fan of variety ... and given that we travel a lot, he's starting to look towards places I'm not 100% comfortable with, especially not with a young child. So I NEED to win this bet.

TooPatient, thank you! I do 90% of those ... but I have no idea of what a 30 day shred is. You intrigue me ....

WildCat03, I hadn't thought of that! And me a cheese fan, too. Farewell, brie. Farewell, gouda. I will look forward to our eventual reunion fondly, cheddar. Adieu, adieu!

Baby Monster, wow, am I glad you pointed that out. I hadn't even thought about the need to adjust for percentage of body weight, but I am TOTALLY working that in tonight. You may have saved me from a backpacking trip!

... and ditto to Sortmon, you guys are much better at this than I am. Downloading the app this instant!

Jewelfreak, that is excellent advice. I would, I admit, be sad to give up the occasional glass of wine at the picnic. So, while I won't pursue it, if the occasion arises ... nor will I simply admit defeat.

Harpertoo, I'm sure going to try! And while I'm almost afraid to ask .... so, uh, what were these scary methods?

I will, as an aside, ask all of you - how the heck do you work in two workout sessions a day? My job is eminently flexible, I just think I'm a danged wuss, because woman can only get up so early, and if I work out too late I get madly wired. Bah. Perhaps I'll get that jogging stroller I was considering in addition to the elliptical ....

Missy, thank you for the tips! I love chickpeas, and had completely forgotten to get any for a while - definitely going into the basket the next time I hit the grocery store! If I win the bet, I'm pushing for some of the smaller Italian cities we haven't seen as of yet - Verona, Padua, etc. That, or Lake Como.

PintoBean, you actually made me laugh out loud - I'm definitely better at the latter than the former. But, advice duly noted (and I dug out the green tea for the first time in ages and quit enjoyed it: thank you!). I think I need to learn to cook, though - generally, I'm great with meat, not so much with veggies. Another fringe benefit, perhaps ....

Kelinas, wow, 31 lbs! That is quite an accomplishment. I will factor all of that in: I do have a tendency to wolf my food, especially these days. It's weird, it's like something about pregnancy messed up my relationship with my appetite: I used to be the Low Blood Sugar Queen, and feel hunger immediately. Now, I'll go 7 hours without a bite and realize I need food only because I feel ill. Definitely something to be mindful of ....

Rosebloom, that's a really intriguing idea! I never thought of doing that. Even when I did a modified version of Atkins, I never cut out fruit (I love apples too much). But, hm ... if I stick to a lot of egg white omelets and asparagus stalks ....

(And, hee, I'm flattered! Did you see the gorgeous one Asscherhalo_Lover just posted in SMTB? YUM.

If I were a proper Classicist, I'd be spelling and saying it Kirke (kir-kee), but I'm Western enough that I go with the new-fangled translation, Circe (sir-see). My tagline before I met my husband was "Turning men into pigs, one breakup at a time." It kind of ... stuck. )

Thing, am I wrong about this paleo thing sounding a lot like Atkins? Because that sounds like what I did the last time I needed to lose weight. I wound up losing 20 pounds in two months or so on a similar plan ... and while drinking, to boot. Then again, I was also 24. But I can see I need to look into what's new in the world of dieting ....

Exercise-wise, things will have to stay on the level of elliptical, jump-rope, hula-hoop, chin-ups, etc. - I don't belong to a gym, and that's all the equipment I have on hand! But, hopefully it'll be enough.

(Rosebloom, I just got to the bit about the chocolate-chip cookie. I shake my chubby fist wrathfully in your general direction! You and my mom, who thoughtfully - she didn't know about the diet! - brought me a delicious-looking box of chocolate-covered pretzels from Godiva. I will just take this as the first test of my willpower. )

MissStepCut, that's good advice, and, WOW, am I impressed by how well it worked for you. I think I may be a little too OCD for that (the last time I tried dieting, I was weighing myself twice a day and allowing the results to dictate my consumption the next day ... it didn't go into disordered eating territory, but it wasn't a happy place, either). So I think I'll see about combining the two approaches as best I can ....

DS, THANK you for that link, not just on my behalf, but for my mom, who is diabetic. That's tremendously useful! And I agree with your general attitude - I'm definitely not planning to yo-yo. This is more of an initial "cleansing" period: while I'm going to keep eating healthier and exercising, after we see the results of the bet, while I might allow the occasional glass of wine back into my dinner menu.

Amc80, those are good points. I know low-carb has worked for me in the past, too ... if you go with it, we can be work-out buddies.

Erica, I am going to look that up right after I post!

Missy ... interesting! I thought nuts were fattening, but perhaps I'll grab a bag of almonds and stick it in my purse ....

JaneSmith, I LOVE YOU. GENIUS.

PackRat - rats! That is great advice, and I love weight-lifting ... but no gym membership means I'm limited to home equipment.

Fly Girl, thank you! I can see I definitely need to learn to cook.

Smith, that's a good point. Looks don't matter enough to drive me, either - I'm an hour-glassy woman, and the weight that's stuck from the baby has just accentuated it. But that's no reason to slide on poor health. The bet it is initial motivator, but the catalyst was my husband's doctor expressing some concern. And since I want us to keep arguing over where we'll take our next trip for many, many, many years into the future ... adopting a healthier lifestyle seems like a good plan.

So ... my husband has made a counter-offer, since he feels percentage-of-body-weight is unfair. So, for ease of calculation, let's average out our weights: let's say he's 200 lbs and I'm 150 lbs. He wants to say that if I lose more pounds than him in absolute terms, I win: like, say, I lose 21 lbs and he loses 20 lbs. But if I lose less than him on a percentage basis, he wins - say, he loses 20 lbs and I only lose 14 lbs. And if it's an in-between number, like if he loses 20 and I lose anywhere in between 15 and 20, it's a draw.

I am bad enough at math that I suspect this works against me somehow, but I can't tell how.

Also, I am hungry.

 

[SMC]

So ... my husband has made a counter-offer, since he feels percentage-of-body-weight is unfair. So, for ease of calculation, let's average out our weights: let's say he's 200 lbs and I'm 150 lbs. He wants to say that if I lose more pounds than him in absolute terms, I win: like, say, I lose 21 lbs and he loses 20 lbs. But if I lose less than him on a percentage basis, he wins - say, he loses 20 lbs and I only lose 14 lbs. And if it's an in-between number, like if he loses 20 and I lose anywhere in between 15 and 20, it's a draw.

I am bad enough at math that I suspect this works against me somehow, but I can't tell how.

Also, I am hungry.

This is where it's not fair to you because this is the zone where percentage-wise, you've lost more than him but he's calling that a "draw." I think that you still aim for the % weight loss! Also, drink lots of water before you step on the scale for the initial weigh-in - because you're thirsty.

 

[TooPatient]

30 Day Shred is a Denise Austin exercise video. It does great combining aerobic & strength. It is pretty intense, but only 20 minutes (and I'm super out of shape so if I could do it you should have no problem) so it doesn't take a lot of your time. Weights (like 2 pounds) are useful, but you can use whatever you've got around.


My current exercise is this:

Mon-Fri from 7am to 8am group meets in the park and is led by Army ranger. (check out parks in your area, they are free and those "playsets" that look so kid-like make for a hard workout if you climb on the ropes and stuff) (Mon upper body, Tues abs/core, Wed varies, Thurs & Fri combine whole body -- look at BWW weight loss thread for more detail)

Mon-Fri additional 1 mile walk (split into one 1/4 mile walk, one 1/2 mile walk, one 1/4 mile walk) between classes.

Sunday -- yard work (ivy pulling for 3+ hours....)


I'm trying to also add in 20 min per day with an exercise ball to get some good stretching and additional workout.

 

[chrono]

Tell hubby his math can't fool you. His idea definitely tips it in his favour. Go by percentage of body weight.