Wedding guest attire please help!

[bananaboat]

It's my first time going to a wedding other than my own, and am not sure how to dress for the occassion.

The ceremony's going to be at a church at 2pm, and the STD says 'reception to follow' at a hotel.

I don't know the time of the reception but presume it'll be at 5 or 6?

It's a half Lebanese wedding, and was told by my friend "there'll be lots of dancing so bring your dancing shoes". There's no dress code.

In this case, do guests wear two different outfits, one suited for the church and the other suited for the reception?


If guests are to wear only one dress throughout, is one of these ok for the occassion? I believe the average age for the guests will be late 40's. I'm in my mid 30's. Are these appropriate to wear? Last time I wore anything beyond my ankle was my school uniform so am feeling a bit out of the box. My husband picked these.


These dresses are supposed to be above knees but with my short stature and fat legs, they're sort of looking longer. I'm gonna try to compensate visually by getting a Nude color 100mm heels (praying I could walk in them and survive).


If not, is this better to wear for the occassion? Would also switch to 100mm heels. This is supposed to be a midi-dress heh



Any advise would be very much appreciated! Thanks in advance!

 

[Avondale]

Ooh, if the church is at 2pm, I wonder if the newlyweds are planning their wedding photoshoot between church and reception. Otherwise it would make for a pretty early reception. And if they are, you should expect to have an empty gap of time between church and reception. That's usually not optimal for the guests, and most people would try to avoid it, so definitely don't take what I'm saying for granted.

You are certainly not required to wear two different outfits. If you want to - that's your choice. In any case, if a dress is not suitable for church, it probably won't be suitable for a wedding reception either.

All three dresses you're considering have identical neckline and all seem entirely appropriate for a wedding. With that said, the third one, in my opinion, is not giving you a good shape, the cut is not suitable. First and second dresses are identical aside from the colour, so go with whatever you like more.

In terms of "bring your dancing shoes" - now that's something people definitely bring to weddings. After all, you can hardly be expected to survive an entire day of moderate activity in restraining high heels, no matter how pretty they are.

 

[pearlsngems]

I think the lighter blue color (dress #1) is stunning on you and I would choose that!
With lower heels, though, unless you can actually feel comfortable, and dance comfortably, in 4" heels? Those would kill my feet.

 

[Austina]

I second @pearlsngems, you look stunning in the first dress (and the others too), but the colour looks fabulous on you. I think the style is very versatile too, and could certainly be worn at other dressy events, so win, win.

 

[m-cubed]

Dress 1 or 2 is my recommendation, and bring a shawl to cover your shoulders in case it's a more conservative church.

 

[telephone89]

I love how the lighter blue really pops on you!

 

[dk168]

Dress #1 gets my vote, however, I may be old fashion in thinking bare shoulders might not be too appropriate for the wedding ceremony in a church.

I would probably wear a bolero jacket or something similar to the church, for it to be taken off after leaving the church etc...

Personal preferences and all that.

DK

 

[Ally T]

Love the light blue on you

 

[Bonfire]

You look wonderful in all three, but that bright blue…
Va-va-voom!
(buy the one you will wear again after this wedding)

 

[bananaboat]

Ahhh!! Thank you so much everyone for your kind and warm advices! I was sort of dreading and expecting to hear that they're all bad><

Will get the light blue one as advised, and will also look for a lower heel than 100mm, it would definitely kill my feet too. The heels in the picture is the highest I've been on hehe... thought higher heels could make my legs look a bit longer..

I'll search for the bolero and shawl too, I do agree that it might be too exposed for the church,, I do want to respect the setting.

I'm not good with colors though, from what I have been learning on the web, for a royal blue/light blue dress clutch color should be silver. Is this correct? And also learnt to blend/hide my legs, I would need to go with a nude color heels with no accessories on them. Do you think the shawl/bolero color should match the shoes or clutch; so should be silver or beige?

This is the clutch I'm looking to get. I could get a beige color instead, but thought silver clutch might be a bit easier for me to match and use in the future.


As for the gap time between ceremony and reception, thank you! Now I'm getting a better idea of what's happening,, you're right, they will probably have photo sessions. Is this usually only for the families, or is it ok to approach the couple at this time to congratulate and take pictures with them?

They didn't send out the full invitation yet, but took dinner menu choice/allergies so the reception probably will start close to dinner time. I'm so relieved to learn that guests do not need to change clothes, I'm very novice at these so picking out another clothes will be another hard assignment

 

[PinkAndBlueBling]

I'm thinking that with your egg head, the lighter blue will match your yolk.

 

[MamaBee]

I love the first one the best..The second one also looks very nice..I would bring a wrap for your shoulders in church…

 

[Dandi]

You look gorgeous in all of them, but my pick would be the first one, it's stunning on you!

 

[Avondale]

Is this usually only for the families, or is it ok to approach the couple at this time to congratulate and take pictures with them?

It depends on the couple and the wedding, also on the local traditions. The number of guests is a huge factor. I've seen newlyweds accept greetings right after the ceremony with a loooong line of guests queuing up to offer their congratulations. For my wedding we had set aside time just before the reception during which we would take pictures with all of our guests as they were entering the venue (the wedding photo shoot was separate and happened before church). But our wedding was small, barely 50 people. Imagine doing something similar with a guest list of 250 - there's just not enough time.

In any case, you'll know more once you receive the official invitation, and you can also ask about the details of the schedule. The couple will let you know how they've planned things and what will happen when.

I'm not good with colors though, from what I have been learning on the web, for a royal blue/light blue dress clutch color should be silver. Is this correct?

Silver would definitely work. Also any neutral colour. With a dress that has a bright, strong colour, you usually want something understated colour-wise in the bag and shoe department. So beige, nude, ecru, even pale pink or black will also work.

The same applies to the shoes, in general. But I imagine you're looking for the visual effect of elongating your legs through nude coloured shoes? I don't have much experience with that as I'm tall myself, but I think even a black shoe will achieve the same effect with a high enough heel.

In any case the cut of the dress you're going with doesn't allow for low heels. I have one of similar length and it only works with high heels. Put anything remotely flat on it and I look short and stubby, and I'm 178/5'10''.

About the shawl, how do you feel about a gentle, pale blue?

 

[MMtwo]

The first dress is absolutely a dream on you. Very sleek and stylish. I will agree others to to cover shoulders in the church.

 

[kgizo]

It sounds like you would prefer the dress to hit above your knee. Do you have time to get the dressed hemmed?

 

[Calliecake]

I think you should wear the dress you feel beautiful in.

I love the first two dresses. The style looks stunning on you. That bright blue color looks amazing on you. I would wear the bright blue dress.

 

[seaurchin]

I agree with the lighter blue short dress, with a shawl etc. to wear in the church. Also agree with the suggestion of lower heels, for comfort.

 

[Piper70]

That royal blue looks beautiful on you!! If you do go with a nude shoe, you could go with a beige, ivory or silver bag. Do you wear white or yellow gold jewelry? Nude can be cool or warm so I’d let that guide me. I have dressy bags in black, silver and ivory/gold which pretty much covers anything. If you are looking for a strapping sandal, Genaya is a Nina ( mid price shoe brand ) shoe and is very pretty and extremely comfortable. I have them in 4 colors and they have been worn to 6 or 7 weddings in the last few years.

 

[jaysonsmom]

It sounds like you would prefer the dress to hit above your knee. Do you have time to get the dressed hemmed?

That is my thought too, a little shorter hem would lengthen the legs without wearing towering heels!

 

[bananaboat]

I got the light blue dress today and they said if I want it trimmed they can do it for me too!

I'm learning so much from all your comments, thank you so much sincerely everyone!! I'm building more confidence too and getting better idea of how the wedding event runs.

Based on what I learnt here I'll look for the shawls and clutch. Thank you for the colors suggestions and how they work Thank you also for the recommendationon shoes, I looked up and they're really pretty! I would also like to get one that I can wear again. For jewerly, I was looking to get white color,, but this is only based on web before I asked for help here hehe

---
Could I ask two last questions,,
On the RSVP, they mentioned that they do not have a registry. I asked my friend if there is anything they would like as a gift and they said none.

In this case, do I put money in the card? This is customary in Korea where I'm originally from, but am not sure if it's appropriate here.

Also apart from a monatery gift, I would really like to give personal gifts as well; something small from where we're from, something nice/proper, and something fun. But I'm not sure if what I picked are appropriate for the couple.

I'm friends with the groom but he's more of an older brother/academic mentor/person that I really look up to and respect, rather than hey buddy!- type friend. I'm grateful that he considers me a friend, and he has also helped my mom when she was alive. He's a med prof, and does a lot of good things for the community, and even goes on trips to Africa to provide medical help to those in need. His fiance, although I have not met her yet I'm sure she is also genuinely kind and truely a good person as couples are alike From this setting/characters, do you think these are ok, or nono very stupid just get the #2? They are in their mid-late 40's.

1. They're Bigfoot/yetis for something small from where we're from... We are living in Washington and Yetis are legendary creatures known to live in the mountains here. For my wedding 7 years ago, my friend gifted us something similar from where he lives, and they were our favorite gifts. We still have them sitting on our sofa! I thought it might be a nice gift for him and his fiance too, something handmade from Seattle, and got them when I spotted these; but am now second thinking this
I genuinely like plushies but doesn't mean others would :X .


2. Either a tea set or wine glasses for something proper- do you think these are ok or should I look for a different design?



3. Travel t-shirts for something fun- but in lighter color. My husband and I have the yellow one and we always wear them on our trip. Mostly because my husband plays Pokemon and often disappears :< So far it has been useful as I had quite a few people letting me know where my husband was last spotted heh. Some people found it fun and asked if they could take photos of our back (ours is printed on the back).
Of course the couple are not the type to get lost, but do you think it'll be a fun/appropriate gift?

 

[seaurchin]

Things vary in the US so these are my thoughts only:

With the weddings I know of, a gift card would be appropriate but cash might not. Some people think cash is tacky here, for some reason. It's also not the best idea to send cash through the mail, and gifts/cards are typically sent to couple ahead of time, not carried to the wedding/reception.

I think adding a little gift is nice. Personally, I might pass on the Bigfoot/Yeti thing though because it seems more a private joke between you and the groom, which leaves the bride out, sort of.

I'd usually want teacups/saucers in a larger set than two, and those do not look dishwasher or microwave safe anyway so imo not very practical.

I don't know that jokey couples' t-shirts would actually be worn by many people I know.

So by the process of elimination, I'd go for the wine glasses. That's more a traditional wedding gift than stuffed animals or t-shirts and sweet to have a pair just for the couple. Even better imo is to go somewhere like "Things Remembered" and get them a pair of wine glasses or a photo frame or whatever with their names and the wedding date engraved on them.

All JMHO.

 

[Avondale]

If it were my husband and I, we would've loved those yetis! But every couple is different and enjoys different things. The most precious thing I've kept from our wedding are the greeting cards. I remember the evening after the event was done, my husband was pulling bobby pins out of my hair while I was going through every single card we'd received, reading it out loud. A beautiful greeting card with a heartfelt message inside trumps every gift you could possibly receive.

But if you're on the lookout for more simple ideas - how about a picture frame? Just an elegant and beautiful picture frame, in which they can put their wedding photo and have it on display at their home.

 

[Ionysis]

Dress #1 gets my vote, however, I may be old fashion in thinking bare shoulders might not be too appropriate for the wedding ceremony in a church.

I would probably wear a bolero jacket or something similar to the church, for it to be taken off after leaving the church etc...

Personal preferences and all that.

DK

Agree with DK.

Also in my experience Lebanese weddings are BLiNGtASTiC affairs. The ones I have been to have had people in full in ball gown, sequins, professional make up and jewels galore. So don’t hold back on the jewellery front!

 

[Ionysis]

I would go for a bolder shoe personally and I think silver goes with that colour very well but entirely personal preference. Add pics from the day pleeeease!!

 

[hardwear]

Agree with everyone---go with the Royal blue dress. Maybe get it hemmed/shortened to hit right above the knee. It is visually a nice length and works for most everyone. A nice pashmina/shawl for shoulders.
Gold/silver muted strappy sandals with matching bag. Nude or black will certainly work as well. Also Nina shoes as mentioned above has some of the best selections, they also make dressy wedges that work perfectly for weddings/parties and dancing.
Or take off your shoes if the dancing starts hurting your feet, I've done it.

Lebanese weddings, like Indian weddings are crazy over the top blingy affairs. Clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc... everything!
Some gorgeous chandelier earrings, stack bracelets will be perfect for that outfit.
Have fun!

Oh---gifting.. cash is fine or gift card in the card. A nice frame or check out ETSY for something personalized that will be used. Like a cheeseboard, coasters with coordinates of where they are from/met, etc.... Save the yetis for someone closer to you.

 

[telephone89]

If they specifically don’t have a registry and said specifically that they don’t want ‘gifts’ I don’t think it’s a good idea to give them stuff. Perhaps they don’t want to/aren’t able to transport gifts and if everyone disregards their request and brings 1-3 gifts that could end up being a lot. I’ve never heard of giving cash as tacky, especially for weddings (very $$$), in my circle that’s quite common so may depend where you are.

 

[elizat]

I would not do a gift if you aren't close to them
to know they'd love it *and* there is no registry. If I got something like the plush items, I'd donate them. If you really want to get something, have it shipped to their house, but my position would be don't. They didn't register for a reason. A picture frame is likely safe, if it's a classic/basic design. The glasses and tea cups are pretty, but very taste specific. They may not even want cash. We had a no registry wedding and did not want money either.

 

[bananaboat]

Omg I'm so glad I asked because I was going to carry a huge box to the wedding with assorted things and was wondering whom I can pass too...... that would have been a total nuisance to the couple >< thank you and whoa I also didn't think gifts can be mailed;; that's also cool!

Reading advices and understanding more, I will keep the Yetis for myself... and if gifting, I will find a nice frame as suggested and a really pretty card with warm message and giftcards



I can't thank you all enough!!! Thank you all so so much, and wish everyone loads of happiness Hope I can also return good advices to others in need in the future!

 

[Bron357]

Yes, I love the first dress too.
I‘d add a shawl to match (in case it’s cooler) and I’d wear strappy sandals to the church but take along a pair of sensible flats for later on dancing the night away.