LiW "Wedding" etiquette

[that_someone_special]

I just wanted to write a quick rant. I was recently invited to an old high school friends bachelorette party. I was not invited to the engagement party, or any of the showers OR THE WEDDING.

In the bachelorette invite that I got, which was literally a week before it was supposed to happen, it also gave me a running total of how much money to bring with to help pay for the party bus and the amount of drinks I should buy for the bride to be. "Also, bring $45 to help pay for the party bus and XX number of drinks for the bride".

I kid you not! I am so furious, insulted, and mad! The bride and the MOH are both girls that I was faily close with in high school. In the last few years we''ve grown further apart, but apparently I''m only good enough to them if I bring money! Also, the wedding is not small. Everyone else from our high school group of friends was invited except me... I''ve never said anything bad about them or anything. I think it is just coming down to piss poor planning and the WORST etiquette-ever!!!!

Needless to say, I politely declined their invitation (that was left in my door, no name on the envelope). Agh!!!

Anyone else have similar or stories they''d like to share as well?

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Wow, no similar story here, but that''s really rude!

 

[bee*]

Oh wow-that''s so rude! I can''t believe that they didn''t invite you to anything else but expected you to turn up with $45 for her party!

 

[Deelight]

Thats really rude like seriously

 

[onvacation]

Wow.. and you were actually nice enough to even respond to the invite? I would have just tossed it into the wind, especially since they didn''t even bother to write your name on the envelope. How rude!

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

I have a friend who is marrying a girl who has viewed her entire wedding, shower etc. as a cash cow. First, she had a "joint" shower which was basically the grooms friends and both sides of the family. Her friends did not attend this shower. The invite made it very clear they only wanted cash. I was so turned off by this greedy gesture that I did not attend the shower and did not give them a gift. Then, she had a second shower, this one with her friends and the family members again where her actual registry was presented on the invite and every item clocked in at over $100.00.

One evening I was talking to them about their wedding and they announced how much they were hoping to make off the wedding. Um. I don''t know about you guys but when I think of my wedding day, the one thing that never crosses my mind are the gifts. It is not as though they have spent their life savings on this wedding...her parents have paid for pretty much everything.

Greedy. Greedy. Greedy.

 

[Snickerdoodle]

And the "A$$hole of the Day" Award goes to...

Keepingthefaith21''s friend''s bride!

Wow, that''s pretty ballsy of her. Maybe Karma''s gift to this greedy little girl will be killer cramps during the ceremony and an unexpected visit from "Aunt Flo" on her wedding night!

 

[Just_Me]

Oh my, that is awful!!

Some people are so self-involved that it is disgusting!

 

[Pushin40]

Date: 5/7/2008 10:44:56 AM
Author: Snickerdoodle
And the ''A$$hole of the Day'' Award goes to...

Keepingthefaith21''s friend''s bride!

Wow, that''s pretty ballsy of her. Maybe Karma''s gift to this greedy little girl will be killer cramps during the ceremony and an unexpected visit from ''Aunt Flo'' on her wedding night!

LOL!!!! Let''s invite Aunt FLo!

Un-Be-LIEVABLE

Poeple can be so pathetic. People like that drive me INSANE and That_Someone_Special''s friend too.

WOW

 

[Dreamgirl]

I've had a similar situation with an old friend of mine. For starters, we grew up together and she had promised I'd be a bridesmaid of her's when she got married. (but I wasn't) But I was invited to the wedding and for the reception, she wanted you to tag along only if you paid for yourself. WHAAAT?!?

It was several years ago so I can't remember exactly what the invite said, but I was so insulted myself. Needless to say, I didn't go because I was unable to.

Oh, and did I mention that for her wedding registry, they registered at Target and asked for several pairs of men's underwear! Who registers for men's underwear! Along with several other things that I personally wouldn't register for my wedding gifts...(ie toilet paper is another thing she asked for)

On top of that, 2 years ago she had a baby (I HAD NO idea about) and sent me the birth announcement just last summer. The kid was already a year old by the time I got the announcement! This past Christmas, she sent me an email and in the email it said "This is what my son would like for Christmas" listing all these toys. What was that about by the way?

Now she had another kid in March. I was invited to her baby shower back in Feb. I was unable to go, so I bought some baby clothes, wrapped them up and sent them to her. I never heard from her...No thank you, no baby announcement. I had to find out from another friend of her's on if she even had the kid or if there were birth complications. She had also registered for baby gifts but in the registry asked for like 6 boxes of Mike & Ike candies, and other candies, movies (not baby related) when you darn well know that isn't for the baby! By the way, the baby registry was under her HUSBANDS name and not her's! Are you freaking kidding me?!

She makes me so mad, Im seriously not sending her anything ever again. I think the next time I send HER something is my wedding invite. lol May as well because the only time she contacts me is when she wants something.


Another quick story, my boyfriend's "old" best friend lives in another state. He got married last year but didn't invite my boyfriend to the wedding. But HE DID invite my boyfriends grandparents and mother. He's a jerk too! Can you believe that? As if he didn't know my boyfriend would find out about the wedding! Who does this crap?! I haven't decided yet whether to one day send him a wedding invite, or just send it to HIS parents. ha! Then again, I don't want to jinx myself either......



Thanks for the vent! I feel better now.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 5/7/2008 9:39:07 AM
Author: Keepingthefaith21
I have a friend who is marrying a girl who has viewed her entire wedding, shower etc. as a cash cow. First, she had a ''joint'' shower which was basically the grooms friends and both sides of the family. Her friends did not attend this shower. The invite made it very clear they only wanted cash. I was so turned off by this greedy gesture that I did not attend the shower and did not give them a gift. Then, she had a second shower, this one with her friends and the family members again where her actual registry was presented on the invite and every item clocked in at over $100.00.


One evening I was talking to them about their wedding and they announced how much they were hoping to make off the wedding. Um. I don''t know about you guys but when I think of my wedding day, the one thing that never crosses my mind are the gifts. It is not as though they have spent their life savings on this wedding...her parents have paid for pretty much everything.


Greedy. Greedy. Greedy.

 

[Bia]

These stories are unbelievable!!! I cannot believe there are people out there so gutsy that they would expect people they invite to their wedding to pay their way! WHAAAAT???!!!

I hope bad wedding karma paid its visit to each of them! Despicable!

 

[dragonfly411]

My aunt and future uncle are asking for cash at their wedding showers as well, not to be rude or just to get money, but because they are in the middle of a renovation, and would rather have the money to spend towards supplies than cookware they''ll never use. We spoke with them and agreed that if groups wanted to contribute to a Home Depot or Lowe''s card we could do that as well, and they were thrilled with the idea, but they know that some will come who wouldn''t be able to collaborate before hand so they plan to simply explain at the shower why they asked. They''ve already done the kitchen and bathroom, but still have to redo the two front rooms (mainly serving as reception rooms now) and the main bedroom.

 

[choro72]

I''m sorry, but these stories are a little funny to me...Makes me shake my head.

 

[that_someone_special]

dragonfly, I totally understand situations like that. My BF and I (*crosses fingers* soon to be FI) are in/ will be in a similar situation. He has his own place, and believe me, he has NO LACK of kitchen ware, towels, furniture... anything you could think of-- he has. In fact, he''s such a pack rat he probably has at least 2 of everything

For our wedding, I''d like to sign up for one of those honeymoon websites (whatever they''re called) where people can pitch in for things like a spa day, part of the airfare.. etc.

What it comes down to though, is that people we love and care about are there for our special day. I don''t care about the gifts whatsoever-- I just want to know that our friends and family bless us and want to share in our day.

As far as cash goes.. it''s always a great gift. LOL The last 4 years for christmas everyone has given me cash-- sadly not to buy my own gift but to pay school bills

However I would never ask someone to pay their way to any event! Since being "poor" these last few years while I was in school and all, I came up with many ways to entertain myself without money, or to have a good time with little money. I would apply that to my wedding as well--- What would be the most fun for my guests that wont cost them a penny??

ok I see I''m trailing off here.. blabbing. My point though, is that I''ll probably pick a cheaper venue, but then get something fun like a photo booth and singing.

ok I dont know what I''m even saying anymore.. lol... I have a kitty sitting on my lap distracting me and reading everything I type!

 

[lliang_chi]

Wow, seriously tacky! I was invited to a shower (1 wk before), and never invited to the wedding. I thought that was pretty cheeky, but nothing compared to the stories here!

 

[redfaerythinker]

That''s just horrible. I give you major kudos for being able to politely decline. I would have been so pissed. What is the world coming to?

 

[partgypsy]

OMG! These stories are terrible! I would think they were made up, that someone would have the balls to do that.

The worst story I have is a good friend from graduate school, she was Canadian but had a civil marriage performed here. But her mother was put out and wanted to have a big fancy wedding. Basically the wedding was all about the mother, not the bride. The mom did all the planning down to the cake, decided who was invited, etc and whenever my friend made suggestions they were rejected "well you''re not around to be making these decisions, plus we know what our friends (the parents'' friends) would like". The mom even rejected my friends wedding dress - she had to wear a completely different dress for the fake ceremony and for the reception! The final straw was that her mom informed her that her friends (a very small number, like 7!) would have to pay for their own dinners. But she backed down on that point when my friend said she wasn''t going to attend the wedding. My friend was in tears at this point. She was considering moving back to Canada, but (perhaps in part to this?) she ended up staying in the states with her husband and they became vegetarian buddhists.

 

[Bliss]

That is so nuts! I can''t believe it.

Some people seem to only think of themselves... appropriately enough, it''s hard for them to find true friends.

Let''s hope it was just a horrible oversight!!!

You know what used to bother me? Some weddings at which only I was invited -- and not my significant other. I''d understand completely if someone wanted to bring a random date, but a FI? Geez.

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Date: 5/7/2008 3:13:11 AM
Author:that_someone_special
I just wanted to write a quick rant. I was recently invited to an old high school friends bachelorette party. I was not invited to the engagement party, or any of the showers OR THE WEDDING.


In the bachelorette invite that I got, which was literally a week before it was supposed to happen, it also gave me a running total of how much money to bring with to help pay for the party bus and the amount of drinks I should buy for the bride to be. ''Also, bring $45 to help pay for the party bus and XX number of drinks for the bride''.


I kid you not! I am so furious, insulted, and mad! The bride and the MOH are both girls that I was faily close with in high school. In the last few years we''ve grown further apart, but apparently I''m only good enough to them if I bring money! Also, the wedding is not small. Everyone else from our high school group of friends was invited except me... I''ve never said anything bad about them or anything. I think it is just coming down to piss poor planning and the WORST etiquette-ever!!!!


Needless to say, I politely declined their invitation (that was left in my door, no name on the envelope). Agh!!!

Anyone else have similar or stories they''d like to share as well?

In all fairness, doesn''t the MOH or other friends plan the bachlorette? Maybe whoever planned it did not realize you were not invited to the wedding and assumed you were. Alternatively, maybe the bride is a complete dumba** and thought she invited you to the wedding even though she didn''t. I just don''t get why she would invite you to the bachelorette, an event for close friends, and not the wedding. There must have been some kind of a mistake or misunderstanding.

That being said - if she clearly did it on purpose and you know this forsure - you should just tell her to F-off and never talk to you again!

 

[gwendolyn]

I've experienced that before, where I got invited to the bachelorette party and nothing else. I was told that not enough of the relatives had declined the invite so I didn't get to go, but they figured I'd want to go and party it up with them the week before. Like a consolation prize. This from the same couple who had a yearly Halloween party and then, one year, decided it'd be for couples only and didn't invite me because I didn't have a boyfriend at the time. Nice! Needless to say, I was busy (read: made myself busy) and didn't attend her bachelorette party.

 

[Mediterranean]

Oh, man, I guess we ALL have a story like this, LOL!!!!!


For me, it was a girl who was working for an agency with which I was affiliated.

This gal photocopied (yes. Really.) invites to her showers (plural) and handed them out as she ran into people. Her photocopied invites had little mass-produced cards with them that let people know where she was registered. There were 3 or 4 different stores, and 3 different showers (her friends were throwing one, her family was throwing one, and her groom''s family was throwing one). The stores were places like Tiffany & Co. (china, crystal, flatware) Williams-Sonoma (high-end cookware, and some EXPENSIVE appliances--hello? $1000 cappuccino maker?) and I don''t remember what else.

Like the poster above, nothing was less than $100. And there were 3 showers.



The kicker, besides the photocopied invites?




I wasn''t invited to the actual wedding, nor were any of the people who got photocopied invites. It was a sheer stuff-and-cash-grabbing-tactic.


Pretty ballsy, IMHO, to ask for at least $300 worth of stuff from people you don''t even invite to your wedding.....

 

[that_someone_special]

Yikes. Some people get so greedy! They turn such a great and beautiful wedding into "What can we get as gifts?" I''m sure if they could, some people would have more than one wedding just for the gifts..

But then again, there are many people that are lovely and nice and kind