wedding entourage drama - oh the headache!

[cleokizzy]

the Church where we are holding our ceremony just told us that we are only allowed up to 5 BMs including the MOH! they said it''s because they want to preserve the orderliness during the wedding march. ok. i get their point. i have already picked my girls and all 4 BMs are coming from out of the country just to take part on my wedding.

the problem is this: FI has 2 sisters and he insists that they be included in the entourage as well. (i should mention that since there are few guys in FI''s side, he is taking 2 of my brothers to be groomsmen''s) now that he found out i don''t plan on having his 2 sisters as BMs - he''s taking my 2 brothers OUT as well!

he is saying that it would not look nice that his own siblings are not a part of the entourage while mine are. granted that it does not look nice, i just feel that he is so unfair! i''ve never been close to his 2 sisters and they never liked me. it has been several months since we got engaged and NONE of them have called or greeted me (not even FI received a greeting! their own brother!). whereas in my side of the family, all my siblings have expressed their congratulations the milli-SECOND they found out we were engaged! my side of the family has been completely supportive in every way and yet we have not received any support from his side!

i''m really close to my brothers and i want them to be part of the entourage SOOOO i''m willing to compromise by having 7 BMs and *fingers*crossed* that the Church allow us since i *think* i have a really good proposition.

my proposition would be this: since they (Church) want orderliness, NO BM/GM WILL MARCH. ONLY the flower girls and ring bearer and ME are marching down the aisle. the rest of the entourage will just be stationed there at the front from the very beginning. it may look weird but i am adamant that none of my best girls be taken out of their rightful place! plus, i do not want ANYONE walking down the aisle before me "dirtying" my path with negative vibes. you know what i mean?

has anyone done this? i know it may look weird but, do you think i can pull it off? FI said it doesnt look right but i am willing to do it just so i could keep my besties and bros in the entourage!

how bout some goodluck dust my way please?!?

 

[SassyB]

I think that you "do what you have to do" to make it work. If you are okay with this, then do it! It''s a good compromise to have all the people in the wedding that you want!

Loads of DUST!

 

[LilyKat]

Are you sure the church wouldn't make an exception for you on an individual basis? Especially if you presented to them as a way of keeping family unity and harmony by having your siblings in addition to close and loved friends, and if you promise they will be orderly. It's only two extra people. Definitely worth asking first.

 

[tlh]

I hope it works out, your entourage is supposed to be filled with those you love, and are your nearest/dearest.

 

[blackbetty]

I didn''t want a huge bridal party, but FI & I each have 2 brothers. Mine are not standing up. Instead, I have 1 doing all the music (processional, recessional, music during the unity candle) & the other brother ushering & doing 2 readings. Is there something else you could have them do? Do they sing? Would FI be satisfied with them doing the readings? Or what if you have one stand up and the other do readings or something?

 

[mayachel]

Hold up...the church thinks that it is somehow able to dictate the orderliness of your procession? Do they think you are a bunch of preschoolers? Seriously, this sounds a little crazy to me.

If I were in your shoes, I would talk to them in a very matter of fact, it''s already been decided tone that you just wanted to let them know, that due to family circumstances you will be having 6 BM. (That''s the right number?)

End of story. I mean, what are they going to do if you show up the day of your wedding with one more? Not let her go down the aisle?

Geesh.

 

[elrohwen]

I think it''s a tad ridiculous that the church is limiting your wedding party. Though I have no association with any church, so maybe this is more common than I think

I also think your FI is being a bit childish about the whole thing. If his sisters can''t be in it because of a rule you had no part in creating, then why would he take out your brothers who you are very close to? That just seems unfair to me.

I do like your idea of having them not march. I think it''s the best solution to your problem if the church will agree to it. Good luck!

 

[trillionaire]

I think maybe Gwen said that she is not having any bridesmaids? Or only one?

Perhaps she will chime in with her take on your situation...