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Wedding dress options for the second time bride...

Trekkie

Trekkie

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 21, 2010
Messages
1,331
Yup. This will be my second marriage, his first.

I have no idea what to wear that's not too flashy and bridal, yet pretty enough to honour the fact that it's his first wedding. I realise a big white wedding dress is inappropriate, but I feel that at 26 I'm waaaaaaaay too young to wear anything matronly.

I'm at the end of my tether.

Any suggestions? Pictures will be appreciated!
 
My best friend had a second marriage with a first time groom and he -- or more accurately his mother -- wanted a WEDDING! So, she wore a wedding dress. It was very different stylistically than 1.0, but it was still very much a wedding dress and no one found it inappropriate. So if you want to go down that road, do!

That said, tell us more about your wedding. Location, size, feel would be helpful! That will help with thinking of suggestions!
 
Thanks Sillyberry!

Yes, his mom definitely wants a wedding! Not a big white wedding, but a celebration with relatives and friends. I don't want a white dress, but I'm wondering if I could "get away with" a wedding dress type dress in cream or off white?

We're planning a small, intimate ceremony with fewer than 40 guests, with the Tsitsikamma forrest in the background. His mom wants a morning wedding, followed by brunch. At this point our colour scheme is cream and gold...

We want something small and simple. Ideally all over by 12h00, 12h30 at the latest.
 
For my mom's second wedding, she wore a beautiful, beaded ivory wedding dress. It was a mermaid silhouette and I'm pretty sure it didn't have much of a train at all. I don't think she even had to bustle it for an outdoor reception.. but It was over 10 years ago so I may be forgetting it.
Here a picture of one that has a similar "feel". So yes... it was very wedding-dress-y.
But wear what you want to wear :)
If you are most comfortable in an ivory (or white, or purple) wedding dress, wear that. If you want to wear a pretty bridesmaid dress, wear that.
Happy Hunting!
 
My mom got married for the second time at 23 :eek: but wore a lace type dress in ivory with just a sweep train. Maybe something lacey, more form fitting, and with straps/shoulder coverage would still look bridal without being princess-ish?
 
vc's suggestion of a bridesmaid's dress is a great one. I might even consider a champagne color, since your color scheme is cream and gold!

I'm just going to throw out a bunch of suggestions (from Watters, as that's the website I'm most familiar with on BM dresses and it is super easy to search!):
http://watters.com/product.php?coll=watters&showid=2546
http://watters.com/product.php?coll=watters&showid=2478
http://watters.com/product.php?coll=watters&showid=2555
http://watters.com/product.php?coll=watters&showid=980
http://watters.com/product.php?coll=wtoo&showid=441
http://watters.com/product.php?coll=wtoo&showid=2574
http://watters.com/product.php?coll=wtoo&showid=2579
http://watters.com/product.php?coll=wtoo&showid=2476

Would you consider something elegant, but short? If so I'll make a few other suggestions!
 
we know what your FMIL wants, but really it's your wedding--what do you want?
 
I think you could wear a less wedding-y dress. As in no giant ballgown...something more fitted. Something without a train. The idea that a previous poster had of wearing a white/cream colored bridesmaid dress is a good one. Or just look online and find a white/ivory evening gown.
 
tina sparkle said:
we know what your FMIL wants, but really it's your wedding--what do you want?
Click to expand...

Exactly.


What do you want? What does your FI want?
 
Classy. Elegant.

Anything that says "I'm older and wiser and even my sense of style is better than ever".
 
I'm a second time bride as well, but a bit older than you (ok, ok, a LOT older at 33). I am going with an ivory dress than is from DB (my thread is around here somewhere if you want to see it). I'd originally wanted no train, but I'm in love with this one so I'll deal with a chapel length. You want something that's appropriate for your wedding, so once you have that figured out I'd just trek down to your local David's Bridal for an appointment to try on whatever you like. You might just find that it helps you figure out what you want much easier once you have a visual. 8) If YOU don't want a wedding-y dress, then that's just fine! If you DO want one though, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it! :twirl:

Good luck, I really enjoyed shopping for my wedding dress this time because I AM older, wiser, and have better fashion sense than I did when I was 20. ;))
 
Trekkie--I am in a similar boat! SO has never been married, but I have been married once before and had a large wedding, complete with big white (ok, ivory) gown, chapel-length train, etc.

I would honestly go to City Hall tomorrow and marry him; however, he really would like a WEDDING. So.

I've been thinking all this time (10 months or so, since we began talking about marrying) that I really love the J. Crew "Avery" gown in ivory. There has been at least one PS bride to wear it (and wear it well). I love it--I have the same dress in navy, cocktail length and it fits me like a dream.

However...I recently saw it in a you tube video...the one where the bride and groom dance into their reception to the tune of "Baby Got Back" and since seeing that, I am on the fence--do I really want to wear the same gown that millions of people have seen and maybe associate "crazy youtube video wedding" with in their minds? I might be overthinking, I don't know.

You're 26. I'm 33. There is NOTHING wrong with you wearing a formal wedding gown again. NOTHING. This is your forever day. Why SHOULDN'T you wear what you please? I'm not saying go all out with a huge gown complete with blusher and veil, but really...I think you should do it your way and wear exactly what you want. Have you chosen a venue, date, time of day yet? I would put those aspects of your wedding first when thinking about style of gown! If you're having a savvy evening affair, by all means, wear a beautiful white or ivory ballgown. Are you having an afternoon brunch? Then tone it down and wear something that is more daytime appropriate such as a pared down organza or less frilly dress that you can move easily around in. Beach wedding? Wear something beach appropriate, no veil unless it's weighted so as not to blow relentlessly in the wind! Know what I mean???

Do what YOU feel works for you. Life is too short to worry about what is deemed "appropriate" and what isn't. You have one huge supporter right here!
 
Im not a BIW, but my SO has been married twice, and this is my first. SO wants me to wear a wedding type gown, but ill also ahve a second dress for the reception, is it possible to do something like that? Maybe so you get the gown fo him, and the decond dress for you?
 
St00pid Firefox ate my post! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! :angryfire: :angryfire: :angryfire:

And it was really clever and detailed and witty. Of course. :angryfire: :cheeky:

The gist of it went, thanks everyone for listening to my fears and not belittling them.

Thanks Sillyberry for that awesome website, I know many waking hours will be spent drooling over those dresses. :lickout:

I've attached two pictures of potential dresses. I'd like them better in ivory and I'd wear them with strappy gold sandals. :Up_to_something:

Opinions and comments are very welcome!
 

Attachments

monarch64 said:
Trekkie--I am in a similar boat! SO has never been married, but I have been married once before and had a large wedding, complete with big white (ok, ivory) gown, chapel-length train, etc.

I would honestly go to City Hall tomorrow and marry him; however, he really would like a WEDDING. So.

I've been thinking all this time (10 months or so, since we began talking about marrying) that I really love the J. Crew "Avery" gown in ivory. There has been at least one PS bride to wear it (and wear it well). I love it--I have the same dress in navy, cocktail length and it fits me like a dream.

However...I recently saw it in a you tube video...the one where the bride and groom dance into their reception to the tune of "Baby Got Back" and since seeing that, I am on the fence--do I really want to wear the same gown that millions of people have seen and maybe associate "crazy youtube video wedding" with in their minds? I might be overthinking, I don't know.

You're 26. I'm 33. There is NOTHING wrong with you wearing a formal wedding gown again. NOTHING. This is your forever day. Why SHOULDN'T you wear what you please? I'm not saying go all out with a huge gown complete with blusher and veil, but really...I think you should do it your way and wear exactly what you want. Have you chosen a venue, date, time of day yet? I would put those aspects of your wedding first when thinking about style of gown! If you're having a savvy evening affair, by all means, wear a beautiful white or ivory ballgown. Are you having an afternoon brunch? Then tone it down and wear something that is more daytime appropriate such as a pared down organza or less frilly dress that you can move easily around in. Beach wedding? Wear something beach appropriate, no veil unless it's weighted so as not to blow relentlessly in the wind! Know what I mean???

Do what YOU feel works for you. Life is too short to worry about what is deemed "appropriate" and what isn't. You have one huge supporter right here!
Click to expand...

Thanks Monnie! You are so wise!

I hear you on the previous wedding, though. I mean, previously, I was married in a white dress princess dress with a veil and the whole hoo-ha. I feel so stupid and so phucking traitorous for saying this, but I feel like I have already had my big wedding, yanno?

That marriage did not work for a myriad of reasons, and now I want to give my SO his dream wedding. I just don't want to look and feel ridiculous.

As for the Baby Got Back Dress, Wow! That dress is gorgeous! No one will associate it with the video. I don't think people will even remember it when they see a similar dress on you...

And let's be honest, as much as we brides fuss about the dress, how many people really remember the dress months, or even years after our weddings? People remember, "she looked stunning!" or "she was a beautiful bride!". If they're particularly observant, they might say, "the dress was strapless" but they don't say, "her dress was from the '08 Vera Wang fall collection and had 12 000 Swarovski crystals hand beaded onto her 18 foot train..." :tongue:
 
Trekkie, I really love both the dresses you are considering! They would look amazing for a morning wedding.

Do you mind me asking where they are from?
 
Hi Diamondbuggy!

They're off the US website Sillyberry posted.

I will send these pics to a girl I know in PE who can order them from the States. I don't quite know how to pass on her details without violating forum policies. :(
 
Ah, I was wondering how you would get them. I thought maybe it was available somewhere around here.

Sometimes it's so frustrating being here in SA. Don't get me wrong, I love this country! But we're so limited in choice with a lot of things. There are so many things I wish I could order from the US! Oh well.
 
I know exactly what you mean!!!!!!

My dream ring was a warm 1ct AVC from GOG set by Leon Mege. Not asking for much am I? Well, when I made enquiries I was told that no US carrier will deliver to SA. The ring would definitely "go missing" in transit.

But hey, the positives definitely outweigh the negatives, right?
 
Hahaha! You crack me up! :lol:

Will definitely do that if I need to!
 
2 years ago I was in a friend's wedding and it was her second and his first. It was a traditional white dress wedding. She even ended up with a cathedral train cause that is the dress she fell in love with. No one batted an eye. It might be your second wedding, but it's your first wedding together! :) Look at it that way. Do what you both want to do. There are SOOOO many styles of dresses out there. From young and cinderella-y to mature and sophisticated. Maybe you should just do a bit of shopping and trying on. You never know what you might find!
 
Trekkie...I almost wore that second dress from Watters that you posted as a bridesmaid in another PS'ers wedding. I just didn't like the halter on me, so I chose the very similar style that had a V-neckline with tank straps. Watters makes GORGEOUS dresses, my bridesmaid dress was well-made and the only reason I haven't worn it time and again is because I lost weight (yay!) and it no longer fits (boo!). I think either of those will look absolutely stunning in ivory in your setting with some kick butt gold sandals!

https://www.pricescope.com/gallery/acidfree_albums/proposal_and_wedding/October's_Wedding12

I'm the one on the left. All the maids are in Watters dresses, FYI.
 
I thin you can wear whatever you like for a second wedding. Wear your dream dress for today. Ignoring anything about what you "should" or "should not" do or what others think, what would that gown look like?

There are so few opportunities to wear something you love, I think a wedding, whether first or second or whatever, is a time to really pull out the stops and treat yourself to a gown that makes you feel like a million bucks.
 
Dreamer_D said:
I thin you can wear whatever you like for a second wedding. Wear your dream dress for today. Ignoring anything about what you "should" or "should not" do or what others think, what would that gown look like?

There are so few opportunities to wear something you love, I think a wedding, whether first or second or whatever, is a time to really pull out the stops and treat yourself to a gown that makes you feel like a million bucks.
Click to expand...

I totally agree! Wear whatever you want, these days I feel like some of those old rules are out the window. I've had several friends' mothers' get remarried recently (in their upper 50s, but still with very great figures to pull it off) and although not some poofy giant "wedding" dress, they have both worn very elegant cream dresses that very much still say "bridal" to me. I think they've both looked beautiful and if that's what made them feel their best on the wedding day, so be it!
 
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