Wedding date flop

[that_someone_special]

I''ve been trying to wait on this... I''ve been so cranky about it.

This time of year is when FI work is allowed to take off time for next year. He put in the time, and then was told, NOPE, SORRY, you can''t have any time off AFTER your wedding.

Our wedding date is in vegas 10-30-10 and we would go down there the previous week on thursday or so. Well his work is saying that even if we get married on a saturday, they want him back in on the following Monday. He is trying to work it out, and he has more than enough days off to cover it.

They might allow him the previous week off, or whatever, basically telling us to change our wedding date.


I feel like this

but I look like this

and I''m going

(crazy).


Gah! I am tempted to just say eff it and go to city hall.


Has anyone had to change their wedding date due to work/ major obligations?

 

[caribqueen]

Geesh, that''s really horrible. Come on! You guys are putting in for the time off this early and they''re being that unreasonable? I just don''t understand that.

I don''t know what your FI does, but I''ve personally been through the ringer the past year with my former job, that I''m personally not putting any company in front of my personal life anymore (let alone my wedding). Don''t get me wrong, I understand it''s how we eat and pay bills, but I used to put work ahead of everything in the past and missed out on family events, vacations, holidays, and much more for almost a decade.

The only thing I can think of is that the date is still a ways off that unless it has been officially announced to family, as in "Save the Dates," then you might just have to change it to a week earlier, right? At least you guys thought to request the time off early.

 

[that_someone_special]

I guess I''m mostly upset because we already paid for the deposit for the 30th... and I know they charge more to change the date. I really was set on the 30th as our wedding date, but I don''t want FI stressed either, so we might have to change it.

Just bummed.

Things could be worse I guess!

 

[princessplease]

SB, I am so sorry. This really infuriates me

I''m sure FI told his work the second he knew the day, and frankly, they''re acting like a**holes. This is you and FI''s wedding for heaven''s sake, not just some random trip to Vegas. If I was you, I would ask FI to sit down with his superiors and explain (calmly, lol!) that the time between the request and the day far exceeds adequate, and that non refundable money has already been paid, as well as changing the date would cost a significant amount of money to do.

 

[Winks_Elf]

What line of work is your fi in? We''re having issues with my fi''s work too. He transferred from a different store to the one he works in now (an automotive place, he''s an assistant manager), and the store''s manager was told when he transferred that he needs to have off two Sundays a month. He''s been working the opening shift 8 Sundays in a row, and closed 7 Saturday nights in a row! Can''t wait to see what crap they give us when he takes a few days off before the wedding and the following week. Its not like he doesn''t have the vacation time. They''re just sphincters.

With this much notice (almost a whole year), getting the time off should not be an issue for your fiance. It''s your WEDDING for heaven''s sake!

 

[purselover]

***HUGS***

I''m sorry FI''s work is being such a pain! I can sympathize I have to work the week before and after our wedding because it''s one of our busy times and unfortunately with FI''s schooling we didn''t have a lot of options. I hope it all works out for you.

 

[monarch64]

My first guess was that your FI is in retail. SB, I think you said you are/were in retail as well? Companies have that policy so they can be fully staffed for the holidays, I mean, when you''re hired on you''re agreeing to adhere to that policy. Can he try to bargain with them and get at least that Monday off as well? That way you''d still have Sunday as a "free" day between the wedding and traveling back home.

 

[LilyKat]

Deleted post as I just saw you're getting married in Vegas and will have to travel, so not relevant!

I would try to negotiate just for the Monday - you might get further with that than asking for the whole week off. It's a shame they're being so difficult.

 

[meresal]

His company is just being jerks. I''m so sorry.

Even if you are in retail, that is absurd that they KNOW they will need him the first week of Novemeber.

And why in the world would the week before be ANY different than the week after? Sounds like they are just trying to be in control.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 12/22/2009 11:15:23 AM
Author: meresal
His company is just being jerks. I''m so sorry.

Even if you are in retail, that is absurd that they KNOW they will need him the first week of Novemeber.

And why in the world would the week before be ANY different than the week after? Sounds like they are just trying to be in control.

My BF (supervisor at retail store) isn''t allowed to request any days off starting in October/November (I can''t remember which month, but it''s one of those 2), up until January (it''s really touch-and-go until February).

I don''t know if that is anything similiar to OP''s situation, just wanted to throw it out there that it is possible in the retail world .. Unfortunately!

 

[meresal]

Date: 12/22/2009 3:45:24 PM
Author: lilyfoot

Date: 12/22/2009 11:15:23 AM
Author: meresal
His company is just being jerks. I''m so sorry.

Even if you are in retail, that is absurd that they KNOW they will need him the first week of Novemeber.

And why in the world would the week before be ANY different than the week after? Sounds like they are just trying to be in control.

My BF (supervisor at retail store) isn''t allowed to request any days off starting in October/November (I can''t remember which month, but it''s one of those 2), up until January (it''s really touch-and-go until February).

I don''t know if that is anything similiar to OP''s situation, just wanted to throw it out there that it is possible in the retail world .. Unfortunately!

If that was the case, and I knew it ahead of time, I wouldn''t have planned my wedding during said time.

Lily- I have a friend that is a teacher, and keeps complaining about not being able to take a single sick day this school year, so that she can use all 5 of her "Vaca/Sick Days" to have have some time off around her wedding at the end of March... in my head, I''m like, "HELLLOOOO???? You get 3 months off in the middle of the year... why did you plan your wedding for the school year?!?!?!?"

 

[jaylex]

Wow! that is horrible! Especially because he is asking so far in advance! What is so "ordinary" about the week before that they can allow him the time off, and so "special" about the week after that he can't? And the fact that it's your WEDDING! That's a once in a lifetime thing.

Since you asked:
Fiance and I are going through a similar situation.. except I work for my parents..
And they are being just as ridiculous. Basically, I am one of two people in our office and one of two interior designers on staff... so they depend on me doing my job for half of the company to run smoothly so they are refusing to give me any paid vacation time at all (and have refused for the past 3 years). Fiance can basically take off as much as he needs, as long as it's not during the months of December/Jan/Feb, or June/july ish... He does HVAC and that is their busiest time of the year.

We'd like to get married in may of '11.
I am off Wednesday and Sunday which means i work all of the other days (including Saturday)... fiance and I would still like to have our wedding on a Saturday.
I would like to allow myself 3 days before the wedding to get ready... which means Weds (already off) take off Thursday and Friday to get everything set... and taking off Saturday for the wedding.

Not having vacation time and wanting to take a relatively long honeymoon (ten days, half cruise, half land) means that I will be missing ALOT of work and thus ALOT of my paycheck. So I either have to triple my sales the weeks before the wedding (hah) or work 80+ hours a week to make up for it (who sleeps in the weeks leading up to their wedding anyway?!) to recoup that loss.

OR...
And this is the wonderful plan fiance and I came up with

Take off Thurs, Fri and sat for the wedding.. and then Monday and Tuesday so we can have a mini "honeymoon" on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday where we would maybe go to a pretty state park resort or something close... just to get away for a lil.

THEN in November (the week before and during Thanksgiving) go on our ten day "official honeymoon".

Here's the brilliant part:
We actually get to relax on our honeymoon.. as i should have most of my larger projects wrapped up by that time and I won't have to worry about missing too many hours.
By leaving the week BEFORE Thanksgiving, we'll hopefully avoid the "thanksgiving" flight rates.
By cruising and "resorting?" during Thanksgiving, we also save money because rates are usually a lil cheaper.
We avoid our crazy annual run between 4 crazy family thanksgivings (if anyone has seen "4 Christmases", our life is like that lol) and we can reflect on our wedding all over again!
I spread my time off between 6 months. Recouping funds from 3 days missed before the wedding and an additional 7 days six months later will be easy.. compared to having to make up for 11 missed work days all in one paycheck. That's actually almost an entire paycheck now that I think about it.
Spending our first thanksgiving as a married couple together without our parents will be ALOT less stressful.
We live in Ohio.. so it can get really cold in November... so it'll be nice to escape to a tropical place.
We will in a sense, have 2 honeymoons. Which is awesome b/c fiance has informed me that we will not have vacation money for a while after the wedding.. "I think we'll be able to take a family trip for our second child's college graduation". (We don't have any kids yet... and aren't planning on having any for about 5 years lol).



I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Especially because there doesn't seem to be a "quick fix". but maybe try bargaining for that Monday off (like people have mentioned) and having your honeymoon 6 months later!?

 

[that_someone_special]

Yeah he doesn''t work retail- but he works in communications.

The way that his work does this is that in any given day 1 person in his team can have the whole day off and 2 people are allowed a half day- 1 for the morning and 1 for the afternoon.
The entire week was taken up for the full days by someone that has worked there much longer than him. The half stays are still 100% open. He is trying to see if he can just take 10 half days (5 full days) or whatever.

Ridiculous.

 

[that_someone_special]

jaylex! Wow I can''t believe you don''t have paid vacation.. that doesn''t help when planning a wedding. It does sound like you have multiple plans that would work though... so that''s a start!!

Our wedding is in Vegas so we weren''t going to take a honeymoon right away. I was thinking if we could get married on that saturday, look at pictures on sunday, and then have monday, tues, and wed to ourselves to see shows and do WHATEVER, and then fly back Tuesday, and I guess he could work friday, or just take it off. I think spring of 2011 I would maybe want to look at a longer honeymoon. If it were up to me, he would save all of his vacation for our wedding and then we could take a few week vacation

It''s ok though. I mean, if I get to marry my honey one week early, I guess I don''t have much to complain about


I know the wedding is 10 months away.. but the last year has gone SO FAST.

 

[princesss]

Date: 12/23/2009 10:52:33 AM
Author: swedish bean
Yeah he doesn''t work retail- but he works in communications.

The way that his work does this is that in any given day 1 person in his team can have the whole day off and 2 people are allowed a half day- 1 for the morning and 1 for the afternoon.
The entire week was taken up for the full days by someone that has worked there much longer than him. The half stays are still 100% open. He is trying to see if he can just take 10 half days (5 full days) or whatever.

Ridiculous.

Unfortunately that sounds pretty normal. Our group can only have 2-3 people off at any time, and it''s generally decided by seniority. It sucks, but it seems like you have a few options: only take a few days before the wedding, fly back on Sunday, and honeymoon later; change the date; or honeymoon first and get married at the end.

At the end of the day, businesses only care about protecting their business, and rank has it''s priviledges.

 

[ts44]

Total bummer, swedishbean.

At my company we''re not allowed to take any time off in the 4th quarter - yes that includes Christmas. We must use all of our vacation days in the first 2/3rds of the year.

That being said, my boss is the sort that wouldn''t enforce it for my wedding, and my fellow coworkers would make it work for me no matter what date I chose. I can''t believe they aren''t being more lenient for your fiance!