Wedding breaches of etiquette

[anchor31]

I saw something I couldn''t believe this weekend, and I thought we could share wedding-related gross breaches of etiquettes... Sometimes they make pretty funny stories!

FI just received a wedding invitation (his teenaged cousin is getting married in two weeks) and I couldn''t believe my eyes...

It was a standard store-bought invite on which the groom''s mother added the location, time and place of the ceremony on it. Not too bad so far. BUT there were no names on it, not the bride and groom''s, parents'', nothing. AND on the left part of the card, the groom''s mother added in sloppy writing (with spelling errors), the place where the reception would be held, and the costs for which every guest would have to pay for to attend. Then she wrote a reply address to which guests had to send a letter to to respond. No RSVP card, no pre-addressed and stamped enveloppe. Not to mention that it was sent two weeks before the wedding... And FI and I live 300 miles away from them! Not much time to organise for travel accomodations, and the trip would cost us over 100$ in gas only.

We all know these people don''t have much money, everyone pretty much knows that the bride and groom (both 18-ish) are getting married to get government grants to married students... My FSIL also told me that the marriage was the bride''s parents idea so their daughter would get the money, an idea they got after the bride and groom learned of our engagement last New Year''s. Talk about a money-grab wedding...

Needless to say, we will not attend.

If you can''t afford having guests to your wedding, don''t invite any. Ugh.

 

[sumbride]

WOW! That''s a new low!!!


Right after I got engaged, one of my co-workers dropped her cousin''s wedding invitation on my desk with a note at the bottom that she highlighted for me. It said something like "In lieu of gifts, monetary gifts appreciated." This of couse not only made no sense, it was such a breach of etiquette that we passed it around the office in horror! The invitee not only did not attend, she sent an EMPTY card!

 

[Munchkin]

CRASH! OUCH!

Sorry, that was just my jaw hitting the floor.

FI wants to know - how much were they charging

?

 

[anchor31]

Date: 4/1/2007 10:05:17 PM
Author: Munchkin
CRASH! OUCH!

Sorry, that was just my jaw hitting the floor.

FI wants to know - how much were they charging

?

Oh, 12$ and something. It''s a rushed courthouse wedding with the reception in a basement somewhere, in an area where things are generally cheap, and they''re probably having something uber-cheap like spaghetti or the likes. *shrug*

 

[enbcfsobe]

this is just awful. i would rather get an invite that asking me to participate in treating the couple to dinner at a restaurant than have to pay money for food i don''t even get to pick. ugh. this whole wedding sounds like a bad lifetime movie waiting to happen.

 

[cara]

OK, paying your way is just absurd. The only redeeming detail at all is that at least it was a cheap pay your own way... $12 and not, oh, $100.

But the preformatted reply cards are a modern invention and are not required traditionally (though this doesn''t sound like a traditional invite at all). You are allowed to expect folks to be capable of communicating their reply without the prestamped envelope. Not that this expectation will help the hosts when they are trying to track down delinquents, but.. there it is.

yeah, as for the timeline what can you do. at least it seems this is just a thrown-together wedding and not a b-list invite that you have received. unless all the guests are really being given a b-list level of consideration.

my FFIL invited us to his wedding (3000 miles across the country in a fairly remote area) with about a week and a half notice. The plane ticket at that point was 4-digits in price so we just sent my FI (his son) and when he got there it was clear that his stepmom''s relatives had all been given more notice, not a lot more notice, but enough to make a big difference in getting time off and cheaper airfare. the groom (FI''s father) clearly cared less about his own wedding than we did and that was just kind of sad.

anyway. at the end of the day this is about celebrating the bride and groom''s life. you clearly don''t feel its worth celebrating but sometimes its best to support those making foolish decisions. From your description, I can''t help but feel a bit sorry for the teenagers involved in that they are surrounded by adults encouraging them into poor, poor decisions.