Wedding attire etiquette question.

[stepcutnut]

I realize that wearing all white to a wedding is not a good fashion choice, but I found a dress that I like and was wondering if you all find it unacceptable? The accessories would likely be colorful.

 

[manderz]

I think it's adorable! I don't see why it would be inappropriate.

 

[LALove]

I think its totally fine! I wore a very similar dress to a wedding a few years ago (white with black flowers) and had the same concerns. But once I arrived to the wedding I felt totally comfortable. I wore red heals and had a red clutch.

 

[marymm]

That is a lovely dress with gorgeous styling! I think it would be perfect to wear to a wedding, and definitely appropriate.

I wouldn't even it describe to someone else as a white dress, it is so clearly a black and white dress (or white and black dress), with the color split almost 50/50 -- I couldn't imagine it raising that "uh oh, she's wearing a white dress and competing with the bride" concern.

 

[slg47]

yes I definitely think it would be appropriate for a wedding.

 

[somethingshiny]

Definitely good for a wedding! I have a similar black and white dress that I always get compliments on. I think it just works anywhere.

 

[texaskj]

It's adorable; go and snap it up now!

 

[Miss Sparkly]

Hot pink shoes anyway... I think it would be just fine

 

[Echidna]

I'd love someone to wear that to my wedding Go for it!

 

[stci]

Go for it go for it! This dress is really beautiful and perfect for wedding!

 

[mayerling]

It's completely acceptable.

 

[mrscushion]

Really cute dress! And perfectly appropriate IMO.

 

[pennquaker09]

Yes, it's fabulous.

 

[zoebartlett]

I love it! Go for it.

 

[JewelFreak]

Yes!!!

 

[vc10um]

I'd love someone to wear that to my wedding Go for it!

Ditto!

One of my readers is wearing a printed dress where the background is white, but it has colorful flowers on it. I have not seen it, but from her description, it's very similar to your dress, just in shades of blue and pink for the flowers. I am so excited for her to wear it, mostly because it sounds so HER, that I didn't give a second thought to the fact that the background is white!

 

[y2kitty]

I was going to suggest red shoes too.

 

[stepcutnut]

Thank you all for the positive feedback

I was unsure if I was having a momentary laps of judgment and didn't want to pull a fashion faux pas-I just kept hearing my mother's voice telling me to never wear white to a wedding as a guest!

I plan on waiting to make my final accessories choice until the invitation arrives, but if I want to go the fun route, I just picked up some lovely glass beads that are orangy-red, orange and off white -I planned on pairing them with black glass and red and orange swarovski crystals when I make the necklace. If I go this route, for the necklace, I will likely pair the dress with red shoes. If I go the refined/classic route over the fun route for my necklace-I will wear a diamond pendant and likely go with black, red or purple shoes. Of course diamond rings, bracelet and earrings with either necklace choice and the clutch will depend on my shoes choice.

 

[iLander]

I think this would be spectacular on you CCN!

After you've purchased it, you've got to tell us where you got it, this looks like a great site, based on just that one dress!

 

[Pandora II]

Looks fine to me!

In the UK it's fine to wear white or cream or ivory to a wedding - as long as it doesn't look like a wedding dress. At least 3 people wore cream to my wedding and it was very formal.

 

[tigian]

Yes, very appropriate!

 

[Camille]

Very pretty!

 

[Prana]

Two people wore white to my wedding (like plain white, cocktail length dresses), and I didn't care. I don't understand why you aren't supposed to wear certain colors to weddings. White, black, red...does it really matter?

 

[marymm]

Etiquette and social courtesy matter to many people - I do not know if these things matter to you. Historically and traditionally, weddings were and are an occasion in which the bride and groom are the focus of attention. It is generally considered ill-mannered to act or appear in a way that shifts the focus off them and onto you.

Tradition (and most etiquette books and experts) holds that a woman wearing an all-white or ivory or cream dress or a dress in the same style as the bride is "competing" with the bride. It is thought a woman wearing all-red (a dramatic color) is also dressing in order to shift attention from the bride to her.

That said, today is a new day and brides often elect to have their attendants wear white or black or red... guests are simply constrained from wearing the same style garment. And many brides make it known that they do not mind what their guests choose to wear; and other brides decide guests should dress to conform to her chosen theme (ie, "black and white").

You may come from a different culture or tradition, or you may not value the social courtesies and traditions associated with weddings, but it doesn't mean they don't exist.

A true story -- years ago, my cousin married a very sweet girl who wore a gorgeous cream full-length full-skirted gown with elaborate wedding hat... my cousin's mom (my aunt) showed up in a full-length form-fitting ivory satin dress -- the bride and groom were mortified by her selection of attire, and it was the talk of the wedding and the reception... sadly, the beautiful outdoor wedding location and the splendid reception were commented on only as a sideline. To this day, the mom's dress is the main topic when talk of that wedding arises.

 

[Haven]

Etiquette and social courtesy matter to many people - I do not know if these things matter to you. Historically and traditionally, weddings were and are an occasion in which the bride and groom are the focus of attention. It is generally considered ill-mannered to act or appear in a way that shifts the focus off them and onto you.

Tradition (and most etiquette books and experts) holds that a woman wearing an all-white or ivory or cream dress or a dress in the same style as the bride is "competing" with the bride. It is thought a woman wearing all-red (a dramatic color) is also dressing in order to shift attention from the bride to her.

That said, today is a new day and brides often elect to have their attendants wear white or black or red... guests are simply constrained from wearing the same style garment. And many brides make it known that they do not mind what their guests choose to wear; and other brides decide guests should dress to conform to her chosen theme (ie, "black and white").

You may come from a different culture or tradition, or you may not value the social courtesies and traditions associated with weddings, but it doesn't mean they don't exist.

A true story -- years ago, my cousin married a very sweet girl who wore a gorgeous cream full-length full-skirted gown with elaborate wedding hat... my cousin's mom (my aunt) showed up in a full-length form-fitting ivory satin dress -- the bride and groom were mortified by her selection of attire, and it was the talk of the wedding and the reception... sadly, the beautiful outdoor wedding location and the splendid reception were commented on only as a sideline. To this day, the mom's dress is the main topic when talk of that wedding arises.

I'm an etiquette maven, myself, but I have to say--anyone who focuses on another's bad form at the expense of focusing on the beauty of the event is just as bad, if not worse, than the original offender. In my experience, those who care about these things do so from a desire to be considerate of others, so this behavior (focusing on the mother's dress rather than the location and reception) is very unusual in people who truly care about decorum and propriety.

It's very shocking (and sad) to me when people use etiquette as a weapon against others. That is not its purpose. The purpose of etiquette is to enhance everyone's comfort and ease, and thus to heighten everyone's enjoyment of life, by making things like expectations of attire known so people can spend less time worrying about what to wear and more time enjoying the party.

Those who spend their time talking about your cousin's mom's dress are in fact making the worst etiquette faux pas of all, actually, which is pointing out another's bad form. And what's worse, they're dwelling on it years after the fact! How very ill-mannered.

Snobbery is the antithesis of good form.

Stepcutnut--I agree that the dress is lovely and you should wear it. Enjoy the wedding!

 

[marymm]

A true story -- years ago, my cousin married a very sweet girl who wore a gorgeous cream full-length full-skirted gown with elaborate wedding hat... my cousin's mom (my aunt) showed up in a full-length form-fitting ivory satin dress -- the bride and groom were mortified by her selection of attire, and it was the talk of the wedding and the reception... sadly, the beautiful outdoor wedding location and the splendid reception were commented on only as a sideline. To this day, the mom's dress is the main topic when talk of that wedding arises.

Those who spend their time talking about your cousin's mom's dress are in fact making the worst etiquette faux pas of all, actually, which is pointing out another's bad form. And what's worse, they're dwelling on it years after the fact! How very ill-mannered.

I agree wholeheartedly. But then, social gaffes often start a domino-effect of poor behavior. The main reason I myself remember this wedding is because my dad suffered a heart attack on the dance floor during the reception and was rushed to the hospital -- but most people I speak to about this wedding do not remember this happening.

And I do hope my post above was not taken for reproof or lecturing, and I apologize if anyone was offended by its content or tone - I was responding to the poster who wondered if it really mattered, and I was explaining why to many people it does matter. I myself did not care who wore what to my wedding, and when I attend others' weddings I simply try to conform to the style of their wedding. But I still wouldn't wear an all-white dress to a wedding unless the bride specified it as required.

 

[Lauren8211]

Etiquette and social courtesy matter to many people - I do not know if these things matter to you. Historically and traditionally, weddings were and are an occasion in which the bride and groom are the focus of attention. It is generally considered ill-mannered to act or appear in a way that shifts the focus off them and onto you.

Tradition (and most etiquette books and experts) holds that a woman wearing an all-white or ivory or cream dress or a dress in the same style as the bride is "competing" with the bride. It is thought a woman wearing all-red (a dramatic color) is also dressing in order to shift attention from the bride to her.

That said, today is a new day and brides often elect to have their attendants wear white or black or red... guests are simply constrained from wearing the same style garment. And many brides make it known that they do not mind what their guests choose to wear; and other brides decide guests should dress to conform to her chosen theme (ie, "black and white").

You may come from a different culture or tradition, or you may not value the social courtesies and traditions associated with weddings, but it doesn't mean they don't exist.

A true story -- years ago, my cousin married a very sweet girl who wore a gorgeous cream full-length full-skirted gown with elaborate wedding hat... my cousin's mom (my aunt) showed up in a full-length form-fitting ivory satin dress -- the bride and groom were mortified by her selection of attire, and it was the talk of the wedding and the reception... sadly, the beautiful outdoor wedding location and the splendid reception were commented on only as a sideline. To this day, the mom's dress is the main topic when talk of that wedding arises.

I'm an etiquette maven, myself, but I have to say--anyone who focuses on another's bad form at the expense of focusing on the beauty of the event is just as bad, if not worse, than the original offender. In my experience, those who care about these things do so from a desire to be considerate of others, so this behavior (focusing on the mother's dress rather than the location and reception) is very unusual in people who truly care about decorum and propriety.

It's very shocking (and sad) to me when people use etiquette as a weapon against others. That is not its purpose. The purpose of etiquette is to enhance everyone's comfort and ease, and thus to heighten everyone's enjoyment of life, by making things like expectations of attire known so people can spend less time worrying about what to wear and more time enjoying the party.

Those who spend their time talking about your cousin's mom's dress are in fact making the worst etiquette faux pas of all, actually, which is pointing out another's bad form. And what's worse, they're dwelling on it years after the fact! How very ill-mannered.

Snobbery is the antithesis of good form.

Stepcutnut--I agree that the dress is lovely and you should wear it. Enjoy the wedding!

Great post, Haven. I was thinking along those same lines, but you said it so eloquently that a ditto will be all that's necessary from me!

Love the dress, Stepcutnut! Wear the hell out of it!

 

[Haven]

A true story -- years ago, my cousin married a very sweet girl who wore a gorgeous cream full-length full-skirted gown with elaborate wedding hat... my cousin's mom (my aunt) showed up in a full-length form-fitting ivory satin dress -- the bride and groom were mortified by her selection of attire, and it was the talk of the wedding and the reception... sadly, the beautiful outdoor wedding location and the splendid reception were commented on only as a sideline. To this day, the mom's dress is the main topic when talk of that wedding arises.

Those who spend their time talking about your cousin's mom's dress are in fact making the worst etiquette faux pas of all, actually, which is pointing out another's bad form. And what's worse, they're dwelling on it years after the fact! How very ill-mannered.

I agree wholeheartedly. But then, social gaffes often start a domino-effect of poor behavior. The main reason I myself remember this wedding is because my dad suffered a heart attack on the dance floor during the reception and was rushed to the hospital -- but most people I speak to about this wedding do not remember this happening.

And I do hope my post above was not taken for reproof or lecturing, and I apologize if anyone was offended by its content or tone - I was responding to the poster who wondered if it really mattered, and I was explaining why to many people it does matter. I myself did not care who wore what to my wedding, and when I attend others' weddings I simply try to conform to the style of their wedding. But I still wouldn't wear an all-white dress to a wedding unless the bride specified it as required.

I definitely didn't mean to sound like I was trying to correct YOU, Marymm, I'm sorry if it came across that way.

Etiquette holds a special place in my heart, and I absolutely HATE that it has become a platform for people to abuse others and posture in ways that are just plain unsavory. My response was just a small defense of etiquette, and I'm sorry if it seemed to come at your expense. It seems to be en vogue these days to act nasty towards others in the name of etiquette, when in reality such behavior is the biggest offense of them all!

I'm so sorry about your father's heart attack. What an interesting and sad thing that people remember the white dress and not your father's attack.

I absolutely agree that social gaffes often start a domino-effect of poor behavior. I wish people would remember that being kind in the face of ill form is the truest test of grace. There's no easier way to make yourself look afool than to scowl at another's poor choice. If people really care about others (and thus, etiquette), they'll behave in a manner that will help everyone feel at ease, white dress or not.

ETA: Thanks, Elle!

 

[Tuckins1]

I don't think this dress would be inappropriate at all! It's really cute, and has enough color in it to "not be white", ya know?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I would never wear solid white to a wedding, but the second I saw the picture of your dress, I wondered why you even asked! It isn't even close to solid white, so enjoy!