Wedding advice needed please....

[disneybride]

When we started wedding planning everything we checked out was an exorbitant amount of money...around $23,000 with zero extras and a lot of basics cut down - no limousine, student photographer, and no videographer. We had flexible dates and still had a hard time getting one. We decided it wasn't worth the expense to try and have a fall wedding near our home (Boston) and followd our hearts to a Disney wedding. We were planning an escape wedding and maxed out our guest list, but still had extra family coming who wanted to watch the wedding and would do it from the boardwalk overlooking SBP then join us for our reception dinner. A lot of our family was upset that we were marrying in Florida because they wanted to be there for it (hence why some are still coming even though they aren't technically invited).

Well, Joe was looking online for activities to do in Salem, MA on our day off. He came across the Hawthorne Hotel (something that I never found during my venue research). I looked into it and it's BEAUTIFUL. It's $53.95/pp, so we're looking at about $6,500 before taxes...but it includes:
wedding coordinator
four course meal
champagne toast
place cards
candlelight centerpieces
custom wedding cake
complimentary menu tasting
souvenier wedding knife
guestbook and pen (oh boy, I know, free pen)
prive photography room
coatroom attendate
deluxe wedding night accomodations in a one bedroom suite for bride and groom
selection of floor length linens

It's all included in the 53.95/per person price, and I think that's a very reasonable price. It would be amazing to get married in Salem near Halloween. The town is all lit up, the smell of firewood and autumn is in the air, and it's all around just a beautiful place.

I would still need a limo, dj, and photographer. My mom has a dj friend that can do it at a low cost as a wedding gift so that would be terrific. I would probably be looking at about $10,000 for everything not including my wedding dress, tux, and the extras that come along with it. I talked to my parents about it and they told me that it's completely up to me, that they will either come to Disney with us or giive us the money they would have spent on the trip to help with a wedding near home. Even if we have a Disney wedding, the costs are going to be around $10,000 after including an at-home reception.

I'm really torn. My fiance REALLY wanted to marry in Disney, then he found this hotel and is somewhat excited about the idea of getting married in Salem. It's a long drive for my family though...about 1 1/2 hours from Worcester to Salem so they'd probably have to stay at the hotel. If I got married here I could have a bridal party, have my theme and colors, and have a traditional wedding. But the main drawback is that it's not Disney. We will Disneymoon no matter what though.

The main reason I'm so torn is because of my dad. He's undergoing chemotherapy right now and I know that this trip to Florida may be our only chance at a family trip. My parents were thrilled at the idea of going to Florida and having an oceanside wedding, going to parks and getting to see the magic that is Disney...plus the food and wine festival and MNSSHP that will going on.

I'm completely torn. Right in half. Half of me really wants a wedding with all our family and friends back home and the other half of me wants to do Disney with our family and friends. I'm afraid of disappointing people no matter what we choose and doing both is not an option. His family is not quite as thrilled as mine about going to Disney but they are happy we are getting married and willing to do whatever we want. Our families have both been great sports with our mind-changing and haven't complained or said one negative thing. I know my parents really just want us to do what will make us happy and I'm sure that his do too. It's so much pressure because a wedding is (usually) a once-in-a-lifetime deal and I'm so scared I'll have regrets no matter what we do.

Any insight/advice you girls have would be much appreciated. We're at the point now where we have to start making decisions and I'm so nervous about making the right one that I'm losing sleep over it.

 

[MustangGal]

How about splitting it down the middle. Have the wedding in Salem, and honeymoon with your family at Disney? With the savings in having the Salem wedding you could probably even pay for most of the close family to travel to Florida.

 

[zoebartlett]

Personally, I love the Salem idea. I'm from NE too, and it's wonderful, isn't it? I know exactly what you mean about the smell and the sounds (and sights, of course) of autumn here. I've never been to the Hawthorne Hotel but I've heard it's such a great place. I see that MustangGal has suggested going to Disney as a honeymoon destination, and I think that sounds like a fun idea. I'm not sure about bringing the whole family though. I'd go alone -- no relatives allowed. That's just me though.

ETA: I missed the part about your dad and how it may be the last family trip. Could you plan a trip elsewhere for your family and save Disney for the honeymoon? Or you could meet your family in a different part of FL if you have your heart set on that destination for a family vacation.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Why do you need the limo? You mentioned it a few times and if it is too much, don''t do it. I have access to free limo service I am not going to use because I don''t need it.
Personally, I would much rather get married someplace "real" like Salem rather than Disney. I see nothing wrong with Disney, but it is very fake and for something as profound and important as a wedding, I would want to do it somewhere really charming, but I know many people feel differently.

The fact that your FI was still looking at places even after you decided on Disney sounds to me like that may be what he wants. Plus, more people would be able to go to that one, and that''s what you will remmeber most I suspect; the love of the people around you.

 

[rockzilla]

disneybride -

How cool that you''re from Worcester - I grew up there too! Actually, my cousin had a wedding in Salem a while ago, and I don''t remember the drive from Worcester being that bad. All of our family was in the Worcester area too.

Which is your dream wedding?

While it may be nice for your dad to go on a family trip, it may also be nice to be able to invite more people so that he can see them all at the wedding. Just a thought.

Also, I have a feeling the costs of the disney wedding would really add up. I remember one bride on here talking about how, since they had to do everything through disney, things were costing a LOT more than if they had been able to use their own local vendors (florists, etc.)

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 6/4/2008 7:27:58 PM
Author: rockzilla
disneybride -

How cool that you''re from Worcester - I grew up there too! Actually, my cousin had a wedding in Salem a while ago, and I don''t remember the drive from Worcester being that bad. All of our family was in the Worcester area too.

Which is your dream wedding?

While it may be nice for your dad to go on a family trip, it may also be nice to be able to invite more people so that he can see them all at the wedding. Just a thought.

Also, I have a feeling the costs of the disney wedding would really add up. I remember one bride on here talking about how, since they had to do everything through disney, things were costing a LOT more than if they had been able to use their own local vendors (florists, etc.)

Small world! Well, I didn''t grow up in Worcester but I did go to college there. A.C. -- if that means something to you. I''d rather not give the actual name out but it''s part of the consortium of schools in the city. I was thinking the same thing about the drive. It''s not that far. Worcester to Boston is just about an hour away on the Mass Pike. Add a little bit of time to veer off the Pike and head to Salem, and you''re there.

Also, I had the same thought as RZ about the cost. I know nothing about getting married at Disney but it seems like they''d charge a pretty penny for all that magical romance.

 

[disneybride]

Hi. The cost of an intimate wedding in Disney is $4,000. That''s why we gravitated toward it...the family experience and the low price. It''s a full package, the only thing we pay for is dinner after, which is about $1,000. Brazen, we initially cut the limo out and we still may if we have an at-home wedding. I''m from Worcester and grew up there but I live right outside Boston now. Boston prices are ridiculous for a wedding, even going 20 miles outside the city. Zoe, I know the school you''re talking about and have a bunch of friends who went there. It''s right down the street from my old house. Thank you for your suggestions. We''re considering having people save the money they would spend on Disney instead of putting it toward the wedding and come with us for a big family honeymoon!

 

[Gypsy]

I''m with Rockzilla... which one is more your thing?

If convenience and ease are at the top of your list.... Disney. They do weddings all the time, and can no doubt help you with any emergency/ issue/ problems that arise with the click of a button. So, you can relax, sit back... and just pick out a gown and a couple of details and let them handle ther rest. It''s one stop shopping.

But if family and a big celebration with lots of people dancing and laughing and sharing the day with you is at the top... go with the Salem wedding.