Wanting to Propose: Would a CZ be OK for now?

[LAJennifer]

Getting a CZ could potentially embarrass your GF when others compliment her engagement ring. There are some types of catty women out there who would secretly love to watch her squirm. Your heart is in the right place, but unless she has asked specifically for a CZ, it's not a good idea at all.

Please find a cheaper setting and a smaller diamond in your budget, and I'm sure she will be proud to wear it. Good luck!

My friend got a CZ as ER, they are getting the real deal next year. Nobody has made fun of her, the ring actually looks very pretty and a lot of people complement it. Not everybody gets diamond rings and not everybody thinks getting a CZ it's a reason to make fun about. Just a thought.

This. And for the record, I've never asked anyone the specs of their engagement stone - it would be rude to do so, IMHO. My friends know I am a diamond nut job. However, they don't offer up details and I don't ask.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Getting a CZ could potentially embarrass your GF when others compliment her engagement ring. There are some types of catty women out there who would secretly love to watch her squirm. Your heart is in the right place, but unless she has asked specifically for a CZ, it's not a good idea at all.

Please find a cheaper setting and a smaller diamond in your budget, and I'm sure she will be proud to wear it. Good luck!

My friend got a CZ as ER, they are getting the real deal next year. Nobody has made fun of her, the ring actually looks very pretty and a lot of people complement it. Not everybody gets diamond rings and not everybody thinks getting a CZ it's a reason to make fun about. Just a thought.

they'll probably gossip behind her back.

 

[LAJennifer]

Getting a CZ could potentially embarrass your GF when others compliment her engagement ring. There are some types of catty women out there who would secretly love to watch her squirm. Your heart is in the right place, but unless she has asked specifically for a CZ, it's not a good idea at all.

Please find a cheaper setting and a smaller diamond in your budget, and I'm sure she will be proud to wear it. Good luck!

My friend got a CZ as ER, they are getting the real deal next year. Nobody has made fun of her, the ring actually looks very pretty and a lot of people complement it. Not everybody gets diamond rings and not everybody thinks getting a CZ it's a reason to make fun about. Just a thought.

they'll probably gossip behind her back.

Not of they don't know - it is really none of their business.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Getting a CZ could potentially embarrass your GF when others compliment her engagement ring. There are some types of catty women out there who would secretly love to watch her squirm. Your heart is in the right place, but unless she has asked specifically for a CZ, it's not a good idea at all.

Please find a cheaper setting and a smaller diamond in your budget, and I'm sure she will be proud to wear it. Good luck!

My friend got a CZ as ER, they are getting the real deal next year. Nobody has made fun of her, the ring actually looks very pretty and a lot of people complement it. Not everybody gets diamond rings and not everybody thinks getting a CZ it's a reason to make fun about. Just a thought.

they'll probably gossip behind her back.

Not of they don't know - it is really none of their business.

if her friends ask about her Ering should she lie???...

 

[jackofdiamonds]

Found the pic. I've been talking to the designer for the past 6 months or so. I saw his ad in a bridal magazine. Company is called canera, and the ring is on their website too under the bridal, model # is 20-1084. I saw the ring personally, and and I NEED TO GET IT!

 

[LAJennifer]

DF - like what kind of question? I've never had anyone ask me a question about my ring. Not one. The only comments I received was, "Congratulations," or "that's so pretty".

I suppose if someone were to ask her a rude, personal question, then I guess she could respond with, "I can't believe you just asked me that" and call it a day.

 

[LAJennifer]

Jack - what does your girlfriend think of that setting? Has she seen it?

 

[jackofdiamonds]

She hasn't seen it but I know her taste very well. I'm 99% sure she'd love it. I actually saw a few other ones while at their shop but this one was like bam, you're it buddy. We sat down for like a half hour together looking at settings and styles, owner is a young guy probably 30. I also went downstairs and looked at a few shops in the jewelry district there but nothing else grabbed me. The workmanship was super on their mountings. This was a few weeks ago. I've been bugging the hell out of him since then lol.

 

[Dancing Fire]

DF - like what kind of question? I've never had anyone ask me a question about my ring. Not one. The only comments I received was, "Congratulations," or "that's so pretty".

I suppose if someone were to ask her a rude, personal question, then I guess she could respond with, "I can't believe you just asked me that" and call it a day.

is it real??...

 

[Kaleigh]

I know YOU love it, and are 99% sure she will love it... BUT what if she doesn't?? You are so emotionally invested in this setting... I think you are going about this backwards... BUT that's just me.. I would propose with a nice diamond, have it put in a simple setting... And then down the road pick out the setting of your dreams... One that reflects both of your tastes.. JMHO... Wishing you all the best. Take some time, no rush right??

 

[LGK]

I've seen some gorgeous settings by Canera posted here over the years; the workmanship is top notch from what I've seen. So the price isn't outrageous for a designer setting IMO. And personally I think it's lovely, for whatever that is worth anyway since she's the one who needs to love it of course, not me! If you're well acquainted with her taste and know she'll adore it, the setting is definitely beautiful.

If you're sure you both will love it, I would totally go for the awesome setting w/ a colored stone like a spinel or something. (I do like really ornate settings however.)

 

[slg47]

I know YOU love it, and are 99% sure she will love it... BUT what if she doesn't?? You are so emotionally invested in this setting... I think you are going about this backwards... BUT that's just me.. I would propose with a nice diamond, have it put in a simple setting... And then down the road pick out the setting of your dreams... One that reflects both of your tastes.. JMHO... Wishing you all the best. Take some time, no rush right??

this is what I would do too.

 

[E B]

I'd be open and honest with your girlfriend and ask her what she'd prefer given your budget. Beautiful CZs that look *just* like real diamonds exist, but I wouldn't recommend giving one to someone without their approval. Price out what you'd be able to afford in both scenarios, and let her decide.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I most definitely would not buy her a cz. This stone http://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-2428270.htm - which would be a beautifully cut stone - leaves about $400 for a white gold solitaire setting.

I don't dislike the mounting you've shown; however, you are trying to make it look like a big honkin' ring when actually it would be just a fake. I surely wouldn't go down that road without discussing it with her. She must be somewhat aware of your financial situation so she's probably not expecting a designer setting with a 1.5 carat diamond.

Buy her the best cut stone you can with a vendor here that has a trade up policy. Start your life together on the right foot - I don't think there's a woman on this forum that would disagree. A $3k ring is nothing to sneeze at and it would be beautiful. It would be real and something you would both be proud for her to own.

 

[LAJennifer]

DF - like what kind of question? I've never had anyone ask me a question about my ring. Not one. The only comments I received was, "Congratulations," or "that's so pretty".

I suppose if someone were to ask her a rude, personal question, then I guess she could respond with, "I can't believe you just asked me that" and call it a day.

is it real??...

LOL - it is! And for the record, it is a 3 stone with pave, engraved setting. Center stone is .95 carats E, VS1. Sidestones are .25 carats each, F VS2. It is beautiful, but I never would have gone that high in color or clarity had I been involved in the process.

 

[jackofdiamonds]

Well, I'm debating in my head what kind of a bonus my bank gives to first year employees... lol. I think I'll just pull the trigger and sweat out the next couple of months...

 

[Lady_Disdain]

I'd be open and honest with your girlfriend and ask her what she'd prefer given your budget. Beautiful CZs that look *just* like real diamonds exist, but I wouldn't recommend giving one to someone without their approval. Price out what you'd be able to afford in both scenarios, and let her decide.

Yup - it is an expensive purchase, it is going on her finger.

 

[LAJennifer]

I'd be open and honest with your girlfriend and ask her what she'd prefer given your budget. Beautiful CZs that look *just* like real diamonds exist, but I wouldn't recommend giving one to someone without their approval. Price out what you'd be able to afford in both scenarios, and let her decide.

I agree with this. And DEFINITELY let her see the setting before you pull the trigger - that is a large amount of money to spend on a setting she may not like. FWIW - I would not have been happy with a simple solitaire setting, so I do understand where you are coming from. But she is the one that is going to be wearing it.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Ooooohh.. I just joined this group today, and the only rule I know for certain is we are not allowed to talk about this stuff.. and with good reason. Are you seriously going ot pick her a ring out of avon catalog for $19.99?? You do want her to say yes right?.. My suggestion is ...Do not do that!!..

First of all, the OP is clearly not buying a $20 ring.

Second, if the lady in question is going to turn him down based on the ring he got her, then I think he is better off without her.

 

[jackofdiamonds]

Well the whole point was to "pop" the question no? Not to slowly drag the question along through a few weeks. Anyway, the jeweler promised to exchange the ring for me if I didn't like it for something else. He had a bunch of other designs that I could go with.

 

[Aoife]

jackofdiamonds, unless your girlfriend pointed out this specific setting, couldn't take her eyes off it, and tried it on, don't buy this setting, especially if you are planning on skimping on the gemstone to put in it so you can afford it. You may love it, but seeing something in a picture, looking at it in a jewelry store, and actually wearing it are two different things. I see settings on PS all the time that are beautiful, that I love the workmanship of, and that absolutely, positively would not look good on me, or I would find very uncomfortable to wear.

 

[E B]

Well the whole point was to "pop" the question no? Not to slowly drag the question along through a few weeks. Anyway, the jeweler promised to exchange the ring for me if I didn't like it for something else. He had a bunch of other designs that I could go with.

Well, sure, but you said you'd already been shopping with her, right? So she knows it's coming at some point. Once she's made a decision, you can still pop the question with THE ring, whichever it may be, during a surprise proposal. She hasn't seen the setting yet, or the diamond/setting you'll buy her IF she wants the real thing. But instead of *possibly* being disappointed with the end result, she'll have what she wants, and you had a hand in picking it out. Win/win!

 

[lovemybling]

I like the setting, It is beautiful and unique. The thing you need to ask them is WHAT SIZE stone will fit in to it? Certain settings can only hold certain sized stones. And as long as the store will willing to exchange it in the event she doent love it I think you are safe getting it for her. I like that you are trying to do this all with out ASKING her spacifics. I helped pick out my ring and it really took the "surprise' of beinging asked. Somethings you NEVER get back.

I say go with your gut. If you know this is THE ONE. GO FOR IT. and don't let us talk you in to anything else. Other than maybe thinking about getting a REAL center stone.

GOOD LUCK

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Sorry to be blunt about this but... I think putting a 1.5 CZ in to an ornate setting when you are just out of college and have no money is going to SCREAM fake.

You REALLY need to figure out your GF's preferances for a blingy fake stone or a simple real one.

But you are going to get biased opinions on people telling you to go for the smaller real stone you can afford. This is a diamond forum after all!

 

[agapitor]

Alright, I got the idea everyone... Just graduated from Uni is all and just started to work.

A lot of us can completely relate. There are a lot of young people on this site, myself included. Spending this level of money on something isn't easy. In fact, it's easy to feel like you're just a sucker but the fact of the matter is: These gems are often far more important to women than you or I will ever realize (and a lot of girls have been thinking about them and looking forward to this moment the way you or I might look forward to owning our first nice car) and it's not just the "status" but more the statement that you've made a big financial sacrifice for somebody other than yourself (You could have bought a new car/Xbox 720 whenever that comes out, etc) but, no, you decided to instead put your hard-earned money aside for something selfless that will last well past the point when you're both old and gray.

I'm not a salesman and I'm not trying to guilt you but I have talked about this with a bunch of different guys and I grew up in a house with two older sisters (both of them married in their twenties) so I think I understand both sides a bit better than most people my age. As a result of that I tell you that if you:

a) Get the CZ and don't tell her there's a very good chance she'd be suspicious of the size, dig around and the next big argument you get in she'll pull that out of the woodwork on you, start crying, and a huge portion of trust and respect for you will drop.

b) Get the CZ and tell her but can't deliver the diamond relatively soon... you'll start to wonder what the point of even getting a real one is anyway because you'll feel like the CZ is good enough and tricked most people... You'll start to convince her she doesn't need it. She might even accept that at first because she loves you but deep down it may eat away at her every time she sees another girl she works with having a smaller, but real, diamond ring. Subconsciously, you run the risk of having her questioning your commitment-levl and ability to make sacrifices for her and your future family.

You, me and many other guys might think it's "just a ring" but to a lot of women it means a whole lot more than just that. And you want that thing to be something that she can look at when she's mad/sad and have it cheer her up, not bring her down. Because if your girl's not happy... you won't be happy. A happy wife is a happy life.

Randall you made me laugh. "Happy wife happy life" is my husband's favorite quote and religiously follows it.

 

[Dreamer_D]

You need to find out if your gf is ok with a CZ.

In my opinion, diamond rings are about engagement and commitment, sure, but they are also a status symbol. Part of me, a big part, thinks it is really lame to try and pretend to be able to afford more than you can at the moment. And that is why I do not like fakes.

But I know people who feel differently. If your gf feels fine with a CZ and the decision you are making, then go for it and who cares what people think?

But let me tell you, people will comment. They may not ask if it is real, but if your gf shows up with what looks like a $25000 ring -- a 1.5ct D color in an ornate setting -- then they WILL ask about how much is cost and will talk about how in the world you got the ring. And then you will probably need to tell the truth or else get a lot of flack. If you are ok telling the truth, go for it. But it could be very embarassing.

 

[Dancing Fire]

You need to find out if your gf is ok with a CZ.


But let me tell you, people will comment. They may not ask if it is real, but if your gf shows up with what looks like a $25000 ring -- a 1.5ct D color in an ornate setting -- then they WILL ask about how much is cost and will talk about how in the world you got the ring. And then you will probably need to tell the truth or else get a lot of flack. If you are ok telling the truth, go for it. But it could be very embarassing.

no he don't...

 

[kelpie]

I heard a story about a guy who was making the perfect ring for his GF by hand. It ended up taking longer than expected so he proposed with a 5ct CZ ring. Once her ring was complete and on her finger all she could think of was, "Gee, this 1 ct looks pretty small when you are used to 5cts).

Lots of jewelers sell their sample designer mountings at an extreme discount with the CZ already set. One of our local brick and mortar stores is always divesting of these really high end settings on ebay:
http://jewelry.shop.ebay.com/Engagement-Wedding-/91427/i.html?_catref=1&_fln=1&_ipg=&_ssn=whiteivorystore&_trksid=p3911.c0.m282

 

[vespergirl]

My best friend got engaged with a CZ, and, well, she hasn't worn her fake engagement ring once since her wedding.

Her situation was different, because her husband makes a high 6 figure salary, and collects cars (he has 5 Corvettes) so it's not like he couldn't afford a diamond - it's not at all a "fresh out of college" type situation.

The way it happened was that they were on vacation, saw a ring that she loved in a jewelry store window, and her husband decided to propose. However, he told her that he didn't want to buy her a diamond out of the country (a good idea) so they only got the fancy micropave 3-stone WG setting (the setting was around $3K).

So, they get home, and find out that the setting can only fit a 9 mm stone, and she wanted a princess cut, so that means a 4 ct princess or a 3 ct round (she thinks that my 2 ct diamond looks small, so she wanted something really big). So instead of buying a diamond, he bought her a CZ & had it set in their setting, promising that he would put a diamond in it by the wedding, so no one would know the difference. She seemed a little embarrassed about the stone, because the CZ was so huge, everyone was asking how big her diamond was. I was the only person who knew it was fake, but I saw that she squirmed when she lied to everyone else about her "4 ct diamond."

Anyway, the wedding came, and still no diamond. He did buy a new Corvette AND a Hummer that year though for himself Before the wedding, she told me that they went ring shopping, but she was shocked at the prices - she thought a 4 ct diamond would cost around $5K - she was shocked that my "little" 2ct ring in a platinum solitaire setting was almost $20K. So, after he found out how much the diamond would cost that would actually fit in her setting, he stopped talking about buying a diamond, and she stopped wearing the ring with the CZ in it.

She asked me if I knew a jeweler who could alter the setting to accomodate a smaller stone, but he told her it wasn't possible for that setting. She told me that she was going to ask him for a new, smaller setting for a smaller stone, but that was over a year ago and as far as I know, nothing happened.

So, even though she was initially OK with temporarily putting a CZ in her setting, I saw how uncomfortable she was when people asked the the carat weight of her "huge diamond," and as it turns out, her husband is more interested in buying cars for himself than ever getting her a real ring ... so since the wedding she only ever wears her wedding band.

Please understand I am not comparing you to this guy - there's a huge difference between being young & starting out in life & being nearly 40 and selfish. I just wanted to share that when people asked her about her ring, she was uncomfortable & didn't want to tell anyone it was a CZ. So, I agree with either putting a gemstone in her favorite color in the setting you love, or, even better, get her a smaller solitaire, and upgrade the setting down the road. I really want a Leon Mege 5 stone setting, but we're waiting for our 10th wedding anniversary for the fancy setting. Good luck, and let us know what you decide to go with.

 

[antelope1]

a) Get the CZ and don't tell her there's a very good chance she'd be suspicious of the size, dig around and the next big argument you get in she'll pull that out of the woodwork on you, start crying, and a huge portion of trust and respect for you will drop.

Randall, you hit it right on the head with that comment. True with so may random things, but this one thing is very expensive and represents a significant milestone in the relationship, so this is probably the one thing that you don't want her to pull out and throw on the table in a fight.

OP, I really do think that guys in school and just graduated get a pass on the whole 2 months salary thing. Whatever you get her, you're getting it for her way before she expects it, so she'll love it for the sentiment.