Waiting, waiting, waiting.

[Chewbacca]

I felt like chatting about LIW-ing, and who better to turn to!

At what point did wanting turn into waiting? How did it come up for the first time between you and SO? And for those who are still LIW, is there an end in sight?

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

man im still wanting...and waiting, and wanting...it really is a cruel, cruel cycle!!!!

 

[lin_ny]

I'd say I've felt really, legitimately 'ready' to get engaged for about 6 mos (and especially since our 3 year anniversary rolled around this past september). It's been since the summer that we've kinda discussed in detail what I'd like for my engagement ring.

Is there an end in sight? I think so. Eventually. We've talked about very rough timelines but honestly, it could be tomorrow, or 6 months from now. I really have no idea. But I'd be shocked if we weren't engaged by summertime. I know he knows how badly I want to be married so we can have a baby!!

Baby feverrrrr! There's a chance my baby fever is stronger than my wedding fever actually!!

 

[Chewbacca]

I started to really want to be married to SO nearing Christmas 2010, we had been dating for four years and had just moved in together. I wanted it HARD for two years, but I don't think its fair to say I was waiting - it was more daydreaming. In September last year SO and I talked game plan, and that was the real LIW beginning for me!

Its only been four months. FEELS LONGER.

LLC - the cycle continues!
linny - I've been feeling the same since our anniversary rolled over like, YES ITS TIME.

 

[MBKRH]

I honestly think it started after my younger sis got married. I was 20 when she married, but I didn't really start feeling the LIW until about 24-ish. Now, it's just out of control. At my age, almost everyone is married, or at least engaged by now. Hell, I know a few that are divorced, and engaged again.

I wish M could see the benefits of being legally married. For instance, I don't have dental or vision insurance through my employer. But, they pay 100% of my medical. M has medical, vision, and dental. BAM! Right there, we could take advantage of that, and save. His medical that he pays per pay period is redic (hello! that could be going towards my ring!)
Not to mention all the other things that come along with being married. I'm not saying that's the ONLY reason I want to marry. I do love him with all of my heart.

We live together. We are basically "married" already, so what diff does it make to get that piece of paper? Sometimes I wish I knew what went through his head. The only thing I can think of is my insane credit card debt and student loans- totally nearly $40K. Other than that.... no clue.


I think there's an end in sight......... I just can't see it yet. I'd like to think I'm in California, and my E.I.S. is somewhere around St. Louis. Or maybe Chicago. I'd prefer it was closer, though.

 

[maple2012]

I felt like chatting about LIW-ing, and who better to turn to!

At what point did wanting turn into waiting? How did it come up for the first time between you and SO? And for those who are still LIW, is there an end in sight?

My fingers are crossed for being engaged by Spring or Summer?

The first time the talk of marriage came up was 2 months after my SO and I started dating... and it was from him not me! He actually freaked me out and I had to tell him to slow down. Eventually we fell into a normal relationship.... and he forgot about his puppy love phase.... and then I brought it up again 2 years later while comming home a wee intoxticated from an engagement party of a couple we knew who started dating a week before us. I made a scene and embarrased myself after I threw all of our holiday decorations which were set up in the house martha stewart style into the backyard at 1am.... while shouting, "you can't get the milk if you wont buy the cow" . I"m not being funny... I actually said that. Embarrasing, I know.

I am very lucky that SO forgave that one and spent the next year making fun of my little incident.

I left the subject alone until a few months ago when conversations about our future started to include, "when we have kids" and "when we get married" from both of us... it happened without even realizing it from both our ends. I then I had a serious conversation with him about where I was at, and where I wanted us to be. He agreed that it was important for him to... and then the waiting game began! He's dropped numerous hints that he's using his tax returns this year for the ring. We''ll see! I'm just anxious and excited now... I think I can wait until Fall before I become a pain about the subject. Fingers crossed ladies. Dust... Dust!!!

 

[Mico]

I don't think I was ready until we went ring shopping. DF says he always knew he wanted to marry me. He brought it up first, he pushed to go ring shopping, and I think I actually "waited" for a week. Our parents officially met and then we went on our trip the next week. He didn't waste any time, but I know the first few days we were there, it was torture!

I don't know how some of you ladies who have the ring in hand for months do it!

 

[pandabee]

hmmm. Good question. I don't know at what point wanting turned into waiting. It was somewhere after a few of my sorority sisters had gotten engaged/married...but before this big rush of a million more friends/acquaintances getting engaged this year. Like many things in our relationship, it just kinda grew so it's hard to pinpoint an exact date. I think I've always been comfortable talking with him about future stuff, it was just hard to get him to admit he had the same ideas. If I had to pick a time (period) though, I think it's somewhere around this past Valentine's day which is just shy of 1.5 years. Then we (I) bought the ring through a steal on preloved and the rest is *almost* history

 

[PhillyMcGee]

Waiting for me started around February 2012. I had always vaguely wanted to, but before that it was always a sort of one day thing. One day L told me he was going to propose and basically asked if I wanted to get engaged. It was a bit of a weird conversation actually because it definitely wasnt a proposal, but he was proposing a proposal. strange man. Anyway since then I have been waiting....waiting....waiting. Our 10 year anniversary came and went (wouldn't that have been perfect!) my birthday came and went. I had sort of been expecting/hoping for a proposal on a trip we had planned to take for Christmas, but due to financial limitations we couldn't go...then L tells me he had planned and wanted to propose to me on that trip
I know there is an end in sight. As far as I know it's just a financial issue, which is not his strong point....so we'll see I guess. If it isn't this year I will lose my sh*t!!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Good thread Chewbacca!

For me, wanting turned to waiting in April last year. We really started discussing our engagement and where we were headed in our relationship last April. We had been together for only a year and a couple of months but we have known each other for much much longer. In April, my grandmother gave us her stone before she passed away and we just sort of hung on to it. One day we started discussing babies and marriage. We decided that we want to have a baby no later than 4 years from that April and we wanted a nice long engagement and maybe a year or so of married life before baby. We also talked about getting married sometime the summer of 2014. We set the stone in September and said we would be engaged by the following September. WAITING... but luckily 4 months down... 8 more to go. In the meantime, we are trying to make a couple big purchases and fix up our house a little... also pay off some bills.

Waiting...waiting...waiting... Something I am def not good at.

If I had to guess, I think I will be waiting another 4 or 5 months. I know he really wants to surprise me but I just really want to marry him. grrrr

 

[Chewbacca]

MBKRH - I'm sorry you've been feeling LIW for so long! Hey, we are in 2013 now, its inching closer and closer!

maple2012 - 'Little incident', he he! It sounds like its happening pretty free and easy now, YAY!

Mico - You got off lightly for around here! A friend of mine was the same way, her SO was the 'MIW'!

pandabee - You two are so cute, the end.

Philly - You are a legenddddd. The proposing a proposal thing is nice! I get where he was coming from. Feeling ya' out and whatnot.

antiquesparkler - I have no idea how you ladies with rings in the house do it! I'd be home alone with that thing on my finger at every opportune moment!

 

[luckyerialc]

This is an interesting question! It's escecially tough for me to answer since I have been with my SO for such a long time. We initially began dating when we were 15, took a break in college, and got back together right after graduating. We have now been living together for two years. I think I began to want *it* about 6 months ago. Two very good friends of ours got engaged in the late summer (who haven't been together as long) and it made me realize that it should be happening soon. He has definitely been feeling the pressure, though... which I kind of hate in a way. It's funny how this "waiting game" turns you into a person you wouldn't have recognized a few years back! Reality checks are always accepted

 

[luckyerialc]

I felt like chatting about LIW-ing, and who better to turn to!

At what point did wanting turn into waiting? How did it come up for the first time between you and SO? And for those who are still LIW, is there an end in sight?

My fingers are crossed for being engaged by Spring or Summer?

The first time the talk of marriage came up was 2 months after my SO and I started dating... and it was from him not me! He actually freaked me out and I had to tell him to slow down. Eventually we fell into a normal relationship.... and he forgot about his puppy love phase.... and then I brought it up again 2 years later while comming home a wee intoxticated from an engagement party of a couple we knew who started dating a week before us. I made a scene and embarrased myself after I threw all of our holiday decorations which were set up in the house martha stewart style into the backyard at 1am.... while shouting, "you can't get the milk if you wont buy the cow" . I"m not being funny... I actually said that. Embarrasing, I know.

I am very lucky that SO forgave that one and spent the next year making fun of my little incident.

I left the subject alone until a few months ago when conversations about our future started to include, "when we have kids" and "when we get married" from both of us... it happened without even realizing it from both our ends. I then I had a serious conversation with him about where I was at, and where I wanted us to be. He agreed that it was important for him to... and then the waiting game began! He's dropped numerous hints that he's using his tax returns this year for the ring. We''ll see! I'm just anxious and excited now... I think I can wait until Fall before I become a pain about the subject. Fingers crossed ladies. Dust... Dust!!!

Ugh, I know the feeling all too well! I had a similar outburst one night after visiting a potential wedding venue with a good friend who got engaged after dating for way shorter than us. I basically broke down, cried, and told him how embarrassed I was, etc. It was certainly not my finest moment and I cringe looking back... luckily I kind of have the excuse of alcohol?

It's interesting how conversations shift. Like you said, you begin talking about the future and CHILDREN and it all feels like you're in limbo for the present moment. It's wonderful that you two have open communication and can clearly talk about this (and he can find the humor in your holiday outburst )