Waiting and the holidays

[lkc84]

Hi Ladies,

How are you planning to deal with the inevitable "Do you think you will get a ring for Christmas?" questions at family holiday parties? I've gotten it for several years now. I usually give a generic "It will happen when it is meant to happen" but I'm reaaalllllyyyy getting sick of that answer.

How do you answer? Diplomatic? Snarky? Honest? All of the above?

 

[pandabee]

I haven't gotten asked specifically about holiday plans and whether he is going to propose but I have gotten asked more recently what our plans are after graduation (being less than six months away) and since we've been together 2 years now. I just tell ppl honestly. Yes we've talked about it, no I don't think it'll happen until after we graduate. That seems to be an acceptable answer for now lol.

 

[madelise]

Hi Ladies,

How are you planning to deal with the inevitable "Do you think you will get a ring for Christmas?" questions at family holiday parties? I've gotten it for several years now. I usually give a generic "It will happen when it is meant to happen" but I'm reaaalllllyyyy getting sick of that answer.

How do you answer? Diplomatic? Snarky? Honest? All of the above?

The answer depends on who is asking, and what their intentions are. I don't like being snarky to people who don't deserve it, but I love getting snappy with those who ask too many Q's.

But come. on.!!? If it's HIS asking, and HIS gift, how the heck am I supposed to know?!?

 

[audball]

The answer depends on who is asking, and what their intentions are. I don't like being snarky to people who don't deserve it, but I love getting snappy with those who ask too many Q's.

But come. on.!!? If it's HIS asking, and HIS gift, how the heck am I supposed to know?!?

Ditto! Totally depends on who's asking. Then again, nobody has really pushed anything on us (so far). We've been together about a year and a half and are definitely at that age where it's happening for lots of people.

 

[MBKRH]

Well..... this will be our second christmas together (our 18 month anni is 12/11/12) and I know there won't be one. I'm really not expecting one, either. I'm pretty confident I won't get the barrage of questions regarding same, which'll be nice. With ex, every year I heard it, and every year, it took every ounce of strength not to punch the person asking right in their mouth.

Part of me would LOVE a holiday engagement, but ........... it's almost too predictable. And I know M isn't about that.
During our talk last night (for those of you who read the "updates" thread, you know what I mean), he also mentioned how there's so much pressure, not only trying to figure out what I want, but how to propose, etc........
I flat out told him, "I can't help you with the proposal, but just do something meaningful. It doesn't need to be over the top."


Just like Audball, we're at that age where it's happening for lots of people. It DOES make it hard. I haven't been interrogated by his family yet (close, immediate, distant, etc), which is nice. My family however, has been more pushy. Poor M, my sister has been pestering him for months (the brat's been married 10 years in February). Step-mom and dad are slightly pushy, but maybe more on my end. Mom and her bf are great- no pressure.

 

[MBKRH]

Hi Ladies,

How are you planning to deal with the inevitable "Do you think you will get a ring for Christmas?" questions at family holiday parties? I've gotten it for several years now. I usually give a generic "It will happen when it is meant to happen" but I'm reaaalllllyyyy getting sick of that answer.

How do you answer? Diplomatic? Snarky? Honest? All of the above?

The answer depends on who is asking, and what their intentions are. I don't like being snarky to people who don't deserve it, but I love getting snappy with those who ask too many Q's.

Ohhh, me too! (In the past.)

 

[petit_bijou]

I haven't had anyone ask yet this year, but since BF is coming home with me for the holidays I won't be surprised if my family asks. Particularly since my cousin who's 3 months younger than me (and the one who would've been in the position to be teased) just ended things with her long term BF, I think the attention will be turned on us. Either that, or no one will say anything to avoid making my cousin feel bad (which I'm hoping is the case).

If they do ask, I think I'll just look at him expectantly, hahah. He has one mentor from school who asks him every time they see each other whether he's proposed yet. Last time they saw each other, he said no but that we've talked about it, and her reply was "oh, so you know you want to marry her, you just have to man up"... so I'm confident it's just a matter of time, and he's comfortable handling flack from friends and family about it. Most of our friends are already well past engagement/marriage and onto kids, so we get a lof of those questions regardless of the holidays.

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

I think I'm at the opposite end... I think my boyfriend will propose around Christmas. He's mentioned before the end of the year, and we are not celebrating Thanksgiving together. He has been pestering me about spending Christmas with his family, even though that would require me to buy ALL of them presents (there are like 8 of them and I can't even get presents for my own family!).

Nobody has asked about us yet, which is such a relief. I think that everyone understands that it'll happen when it happens, and it's not going to change a whole lot for us. We just came back from a wedding where half the table was engaged, and I had such a great time asking about their upcoming weddings and watching them get excited about it that I didn't even mind that I was waiting for a ring. After hearing my boyfriend mention "before the end of the year," I am at so much much more peace. If he's lying, well, there will be consequences.

 

[lkc84]

I think I'm at the opposite end... I think my boyfriend will propose around Christmas. He's mentioned before the end of the year, and we are not celebrating Thanksgiving together. He has been pestering me about spending Christmas with his family, even though that would require me to buy ALL of them presents (there are like 8 of them and I can't even get presents for my own family!).

Nobody has asked about us yet, which is such a relief. I think that everyone understands that it'll happen when it happens, and it's not going to change a whole lot for us. We just came back from a wedding where half the table was engaged, and I had such a great time asking about their upcoming weddings and watching them get excited about it that I didn't even mind that I was waiting for a ring. After hearing my boyfriend mention "before the end of the year," I am at so much much more peace. If he's lying, well, there will be consequences.

Ahhhh!! So exciting!!! That means SOON!! I'm in the same boat, BF has said if we are not engaged by the end of the year it's due to an "epic fail on his part". I can't wait to hear how your boyfriend does it!

Thanks to everyone for your responses. I started this thread because now that both my younger sisters are engaged, I have been getting pestered constantly by my extended family. I love them all, and know they mean well and I don't want to be rude to them, but it gets a bit trying sometimes!

 

[audball]

I think I'm at the opposite end... I think my boyfriend will propose around Christmas. He's mentioned before the end of the year, and we are not celebrating Thanksgiving together. He has been pestering me about spending Christmas with his family, even though that would require me to buy ALL of them presents (there are like 8 of them and I can't even get presents for my own family!).

Nobody has asked about us yet, which is such a relief. I think that everyone understands that it'll happen when it happens, and it's not going to change a whole lot for us. We just came back from a wedding where half the table was engaged, and I had such a great time asking about their upcoming weddings and watching them get excited about it that I didn't even mind that I was waiting for a ring. After hearing my boyfriend mention "before the end of the year," I am at so much much more peace. If he's lying, well, there will be consequences.

Ahhhh!! So exciting!!! That means SOON!! I'm in the same boat, BF has said if we are not engaged by the end of the year it's due to an "epic fail on his part". I can't wait to hear how your boyfriend does it!

Thanks to everyone for your responses. I started this thread because now that both my younger sisters are engaged, I have been getting pestered constantly by my extended family. I love them all, and know they mean well and I don't want to be rude to them, but it gets a bit trying sometimes!

Ditto!! Squeee!! Seems like there are several of us hoping for proposals this year!

 

[Chewbacca]

I'm so excited for all you Christmas LIWers!

Mine and SO's extended family think we are too young to be married, so there is absolutely no pressure there - just the opposite! With the exception of those who are quite religious in SO's family, who cannot understand what the hold up is.

We've been fielding the questions for a few years now. My usual answer is "I dunnoooooo!", or something to that effect! No snark, no nothing. I'm not sure what else I'm expected to say! Its kind of a weird question I feel? Bit personal.

 

[MBKRH]

I'm excited for everyone, too!

Poor M, with all the ring researching I've done, he totally thought I wanted a ring by Christmas! I was like "Good god, no! I'm still researching rings!" (Although if he had the $$$, and I had a ring picked out, I would NOT complain!)
So then he said "Okay, then by next Christmas."

Squeeee! So I'm really hoping to find my ring soon, and then be engaged by next Christmas! (Or possibly sooner).

~*~*Dust~*~*~* to you all!

@Chewy. I totally agree. It's a very personal question, at least to me. I always got a bit miffed every time someone asked me. I know that they're curious, or trying to make conversation. I couldn't help but picture myself- turning beet red with steam coming out of my ears. lol. But I seriously felt that way many, many times.

 

[audball]

Aww! MK, that's AMAZING.

 

[audball]

Can I just say that waiting during the holidays is HARD?!

Way harder than I ever thought. EIGHTEEN other engagements as of tonight that I have seen over the last few weeks. I am incredibly happy for each and every one of them. I just want it to be MY TURN!.

 

[MBKRH]

I know, aud, I know....

I haven't had anything pop up in my newsfeed this week, although it is a bit early.
I gotta say that I'm really annoyed by all the commercials from jared, zales, rogers & holland, etc..........

M was watching the Bears game, and I counted at least ten commercials, two of them alone during the same break.

 

[Chewbacca]

I'd never seen a jewellery billboard, until last weekend. Seeing a 12ft engagement ring was a little.. jarring!

I'm sorry to hear you are having a hard time, aud and MBKRH.

 

[audball]

It's just tough. I'm soooo ready. And I want so badly for a Christmas time proposal. Seeing everyone else get what I want sooooo much is hard. Even though I'm incredibly happy for them all. I just want my turn.

Thanks for letting me whine.

 

[pandabee]

I have the bug now. Very excited for the past few engagements I have seen on my newsfeed recently, but I just want my shiny on my finger for good!!! It's so hard having all this uncertainty for next year in life.

On the crazy side, I went through my friends list and stalked all my engaged/married friends ering photos. TBH, that actually helped quite a bit haha. Surprisingly the majority of my friends opted for classic solitaire settings or RB/princess with pave shank. I only saw one oval and one emerald cut and one cushion (halo). Makes me feel better about waiting for something that is a little bit different and of amazing quality and unicorn flashes

 

[Chewbacca]

It's just tough. I'm soooo ready. And I want so badly for a Christmas time proposal. Seeing everyone else get what I want sooooo much is hard. Even though I'm incredibly happy for them all. I just want my turn.

Thanks for letting me whine.

Its what LIW is for, let it out by all means! We can all relate and sympathize. I think its safe to say that we all have our fingers crossed for an audball Christmas proposal!

I have the bug now. Very excited for the past few engagements I have seen on my newsfeed recently, but I just want my shiny on my finger for good!!! It's so hard having all this uncertainty for next year in life.

pandabee, your ring is GORGEOUS, it'll stand out from the pack by the sounds of it! Hey, the uncertain part is only the when.. I mean, you have your ring, and your SO is DEFINITELY going to propose to you! Eeee.

 

[madelise]

"unicorn flashes" lol!!



Well, stupid holidays are def getting to me. I've been watching Hulu has a diversion from studies, and there's been these two repeating maul store commercials. One is the Kay jeweler's Leo diamond commercial, where this guy takes his gal to Kay's, and she tries on a Leo solitaire, and says "It fits!" and the goes, "that's because I had it fitted for you", and drops on one knee. Then there's the Jared's commercial for the open heart pendant, where a guy talks to his fiancé's daughter and tells her that he loves her too, and gives her a necklace to match her mom's. That's not really a proposal, but still.

Effing The New Normal's David proposed to Bryan, and Parks and Recs' Ben proposed to Leslie a few episodes ago…






ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! and now my go-to taiwanese drama!! this last week's episode, the main character got proposed to by her ex, and the preview for next week's episode shows her getting proposed to by her unrequited love!!!!!





Mr.Madelise, Hurry the eff up!!

 

[pandabee]

Thanks Chewbacca...although I am more accepting of the uncertainty of the whole proposal event when compared to the uncertainty that I don't know where or who I will be working for next year

omg madelise I have hulu running in the background while I work on projects and I know what you're talking about!!! ahhhh it drives me crazy. The only Kay commercial I like is the multi-lingual one with the Leo diamond I think. Because they include Mandarin hehe.

Oh, I forgot...my favorite maul store advertisement is this though (only because I love HIMYM):

 

[madelise]

Thanks Chewbacca...although I am more accepting of the uncertainty of the whole proposal event when compared to the uncertainty that I don't know where or who I will be working for next year

omg madelise I have hulu running in the background while I work on projects and I know what you're talking about!!! ahhhh it drives me crazy. The only Kay commercial I like is the multi-lingual one with the Leo diamond I think. Because they include Mandarin hehe.

Oh, I forgot...my favorite maul store advertisement is this though (only because I love HIMYM):

Mandarin commercials? Even if I'm watching my dramas, my commercials are still in English! LOL! What shows do you watch? I want to start Office Girls, but the first episode was such a turn off. It looked cheesier than I could handle. I need recs for shows. I have 4 weeks off of school. I need to be entertained!

LOL don't tell me you stopped your car just to take a photo of the billboard!!! CUS I WOULD HAVE! Would have texted that photo right on over to SO.. with a big "COUGH COUGH" !

 

[pandabee]

Thanks Chewbacca...although I am more accepting of the uncertainty of the whole proposal event when compared to the uncertainty that I don't know where or who I will be working for next year

omg madelise I have hulu running in the background while I work on projects and I know what you're talking about!!! ahhhh it drives me crazy. The only Kay commercial I like is the multi-lingual one with the Leo diamond I think. Because they include Mandarin hehe.

Oh, I forgot...my favorite maul store advertisement is this though (only because I love HIMYM):

Mandarin commercials? Even if I'm watching my dramas, my commercials are still in English! LOL! What shows do you watch? I want to start Office Girls, but the first episode was such a turn off. It looked cheesier than I could handle. I need recs for shows. I have 4 weeks off of school. I need to be entertained!

LOL don't tell me you stopped your car just to take a photo of the billboard!!! CUS I WOULD HAVE! Would have texted that photo right on over to SO.. with a big "COUGH COUGH" !

LOL no it's a Kay's commercial with 3 different couples...one guy proposes in English, one in Chinese, and one in Italian or something. omg I watch too many shows. Revenge and Once Upon a Time are my faves at the moment. Royal Pains I usually keep up on, and Fringe, Grey's Anatomy, Glee...whatever else is on my hulu queue haha

I didn't take a pic of the billboard (although I have seen one near me). It's from one of the HIMYM facebook fan pages.

 

[MBKRH]

I started this thread because now that both my younger sisters are engaged, I have been getting pestered constantly by my extended family. I love them all, and know they mean well and I don't want to be rude to them, but it gets a bit trying sometimes!

I know how that is. My younger sister is coming up on her 10 year wedding anniversary in February. Talk about pressure over here, my god. I'm really, REALLY not looking forward to family parties this year.

 

[audball]

I have the bug now. Very excited for the past few engagements I have seen on my newsfeed recently, but I just want my shiny on my finger for good!!! It's so hard having all this uncertainty for next year in life.

On the crazy side, I went through my friends list and stalked all my engaged/married friends ering photos. TBH, that actually helped quite a bit haha. Surprisingly the majority of my friends opted for classic solitaire settings or RB/princess with pave shank. I only saw one oval and one emerald cut and one cushion (halo). Makes me feel better about waiting for something that is a little bit different and of amazing quality and unicorn flashes

Ditto. You KNOW we were both excited for the last one FOR SURE! But I totally feel you. I just want mine on my finger sooner than later.

And I totally agree! My ring will be the most different of anyone I know in real life. It's a round, but it's an OEC which I've never seen before except for mine and it's in a bezel setting (something I've also never seen in real life). I'm pretty stoked about that!

And your AVC/Tacori halo will blow the other cushion halo OUT OF THE WATER! Hands down.

 

[audball]

A Kay commercial that madelise will like I think!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CYbhuE6Vro


And Kay parody...HAHAHAHAH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK5LXnjPf_Y

 

[audball]

Hang in there, ladies!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Hi ladies. I love this thread. I am SO tired of the commercials and the FB proposal stories and we have another month to go.

I am hoping we don’t get too many questions this Christmas from our families. We haven’t told really anyone that we have a ring (One of my friends knows and I think he has told one of his buddies). My mom knows about the diamond because it came from my grandma but that’s about it. We have gotten questioned at the last several weddings we have gone to so I am imagining Christmas to be the same. I think I am just going to refer everyone to SO. “I dunno… ask him!!! <awkwardly point at SO>” Hehehe.

I love the billboard. There is one we pass every time we head out of town that says “Rock her world!” and there is a billboard size ring on it. Next time we pass it I am not going to be able to help the snarky comment that comes out of my mouth…


I like the idea of stalking my friends list for rings. Lol!

I truly am excited for you girls hoping for a Christmas proposal… Lots and lots of dust to you! I don’t know why but its different when one of you girls gets engaged- I am just a smidge jealous but mostly excited that one of my ‘LIW Teammates’ is off the list!

~*~DUST~*~

 

[audball]

I truly am excited for you girls hoping for a Christmas proposal… Lots and lots of dust to you! I don’t know why but its different when one of you girls gets engaged- I am just a smidge jealous but mostly excited that one of my ‘LIW Teammates’ is off the list!

~*~DUST~*~

I hope Christmas isn't too rough on you AS! Thanks for the dust...I think we all want it!

I totally feel you too...I'm always more happy than jealous when a fellow LIW gets engaged! But it still makes me sad for a second that it wasn't my turn.

 

[audball]

So the last several engagements (like at least 1/3 of the 18 I've seen recently) have been of couples dating less than 1 year.

Andrew and I haven't been together long, we celebrated 1 year in July. I always think we're on the early end of getting engaged (whenever it happens!) but then I see all these couples doing it even sooner and have passing thoughts of "what's wrong with ME!? Why are we not engaged already? He's holding off because of (insert completely irrational stupid reason here)!"

I know it's completely untrue, that there isn't anything wrong with me/us, that he isn't waiting for a stupid reasons, that of course it'll happen when it's supposed to, blah blah blah, but it still stings. I know it's a totally irrational thought but this is where I get to be irrational dang it!

It's funny because in my last relationship (lasted almost 6 years) I never once felt that feeling of why aren't we engaged yet? I knew we weren't ready and that things weren't right. So even though people dating half, a third, and even less than us getting engaged really didn't bug me at all.

But now that I'm with THE guy, MY guy, and everything seems to be in order, it's just driving me plain batty that we aren't there yet.