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VRBeauty’s Wedding Thread

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Apr 2, 2006
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10,458
I am getting married this Saturday. As a long-time PS’er, I couldn’t let the occasion slip by without some sort of a wedding thread! Fortunately for anyone who reads it, it’ll be mostly after-the-fact, so light on wedding decision angst. I’ll have to post in dribs and drabs, as time allows. We’re having a teensy weensie backyard wedding but even that takes time to plan, as it turns out. (I’d insert a winking emotie here but I’m having trouble with that function).

By way of background...


It will be my first wedding and my Sweetie’s third. We’ve been together for almost five years now. We’ve pretty much known we’d be getting married at some point for three of those five years, but we each had to pass a few unstated tests first. I had to develop and demonstrate fondness for camping! He had to prove to me that he was trainable - or perhaps a better word is flexible? Flexible not just in decisions, but also in viewpoints. We’re both first-borns used to taking charge and managing situations and people, but I also have a large streak of people-pleasing. I had to be convinced and comfortable that I could would be an equal partner in the marriage - which included proving to myself that I could stand up for myself when necessary. I think we’ve been at that point for about a year now - and we’re getting real good ad hashing out difficult things.

We decided to get married “soon” about 2-3 months ago as we were planning a road trip to visit some of my family that we hadn’t seen in awhile. Several things contributed to the timing. One of course is that we were both really and truly ready to make the commitment - and there are some legal and financial considerations that come into play, too. Another, quite honestly, was that I wanted to take advantage of the pandemic. (Insert blushing emotie here.). Sweetie’s family is in the habit of throwing festivals rather than weddings, something I wasn’t looking forward to. Having a small “pandemic” wedding now allows us to decouple the actual ceremony from the party/celebration. Plus of course we do want to move forward with the marriage, and large celebrations simply can’t be done safely yet - especially since there are a few factions in both families who are anti-vax.

So, this Saturday it is! The wedding will be held in Sweetie’s Mom’s backyard - we spent yesterday getting the yard ready for her close-up. The guest list consists of Sweetie’s Mom and her longtime partner, representing Sweetie’s family. She’s also the only surviving parent, so in a way she’ll represent all of our parents. One of my brothers will stand for both of us, and represent my side of the family. Add the minister, my groom, and myself, and we have a grand total of six people! Perhaps a bit smaller than even I had envisioned, but it’ll be grand!
 

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Apr 2, 2006
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10,458
So, the engagement ring.

I have to admit that I let Sweetie stew -unnecessarily - about the engagement ring for quite a bit. He knows I like diamonds and that I know a bit about diamonds, and I let him know that a very small diamond was, well, not what I had in mind! What I didn’t tell him right away was that I’d be perfectly happy for him to reset the 2 carat OEC I’d inherited from my mother for my engagement ring! The diamond originally belonged to my father’s mother and has quite a story behind it. My sweetie, a somewhat frugal guy, was rather relieved to hear that I came with my own diamond! We started talking about getting together with Caysie (who lives not too far from where we live) to discuss a re-set for my mother’s diamond.

However...

Not long after we started dating, I started wearing my James Meyer 3-stone ring on my left hand rather than my right hand. I did this largely because it fits better on my left hand, but the fact that I was comfortable signaling that I was “not available” also played a role. After we started looking at wedding rings I decided I’d really like to continue wearing this ring an my left hand. We’ll still get that reset, but I’m planning on mostly wearing my James Meyer ring on my left hand, and we chose my wedding band based on that.
 

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Apr 2, 2006
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10,458
The wedding bands.

When we started talking seriously about getting married, Sweetie decided that he wanted a titanium glow ring as his wedding band. https://patrickadairdesigns.com/collections/the-glowstone-series/products/the-frostbite-ring

Not exactly what I had in mind! But... I was glad he was interested in a wedding band, and determined to get him exactly the ring he wanted. But we did “peek at” more traditional bands every time we went into a jewelry shop to get work done etc. One day we went to the bank to set up a joint checking account, and when we were done, Sweetie suggested we step into the jewelry shop next door to check out wedding bands! We en https://patrickadairdesigns.com/collections/the-glowstone-series/products/the-frostbite-ring

We ended up getting him a lovely, heavy 18k band at Tiffany’s (which, surprisingly, cost less than a similar ring would have cost from local jewelers, who all order their men’s bands from the same large national manufacturer.) Unfortunately Tiffany’s
doesn’t make a woman’s band in the simple, contemporary style I was looking for, so we ordered that from Ben Bridge, in 18k yellow gold like Sweetie’s ring.
 

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
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The dress...

Meaning, in this case, both the grooms attire and mine...

Since I’m rather a late life bride, I kind of assumed I’d be dressing like a very nicely put together mother of the the bride or something, maybe like this:

DEA7DE56-2662-423D-B462-97FD63692F96.png


And I really liked some of the dresses in the “compare your dress to the royal gowns” thread, especially Mayk and Bludiva’s. https://www.pricescope.com/communit...g-dress-with-that-of-the-royals.240954/page-4

I could not see myself in a traditional white gown! I decided I’d look for a dress I could feel comfortable in during a visit to Los Angeles, focusing on vintage shops and the special occasion collections in higher end department stores near Beverly Hills. Unfortunately what I found when I got there was that most of the vintage shops were closed due to the coronavirus, and the department stores had almost no special occasion dresses, due to the coronavirus! One kind salesperson suggested a lower cost bridal boutique on Beverly Boulevard, so on my last day in the city, I found myself in... a bridal shop.

What can I say? I got caught up in the bridal shop excitement! I ended up with a dress that’s arguably more red carpet than bridal, but it’s certainly different from what I expected to be buying! For one thing, I never expected I’d buy a dress I’d have to diet to wear comfortably! I also thought I’d be buying a dress I could maybe wear to other special occasions. However, I don’t think I could fit in any of our cars wearing this dress. So that pretty much rules out re-using it, at least for events that don’t involve a limousine!
 

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
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So… My groom has not yet seen my dress. He did however see the huge bulging garment bag that went into the back of our pickup truck (with camper shell), and he guessed that it’s more a “red carpet” gown than a wedding gown. In fact I think he came up with that term, at least as it applies to my dress.

So when I finally asked him what he was planning to wear, about a week ago today – or rather, this evening - I was surprised when he trotted out a rather sorry looking, drab, tweed coat. He’s a fairly tall guy and apparently he bought it based on sleeve length, because it hung rather loosely on the rest of him. And the pants didn’t fit at all. He thought he’d be pairing it with a blue chambray shirt that had been machine washed many, many times. I’m really not a clothing snob - my everyday wardrobe is very casual - but I think even he realized that this would not do for our wedding! The only thing he had that might work is a lovely pair of cowboy boots... we were literally going to be dressing him from the ground up!

Mad dash to the stores, most of which are still adhering to Covid hours. Nordie’s was open late but had nothing to offer in his size range. Meanwhile, I was concerned about forcing him to buy a suit or jacket that really wasn’t “him” and that he might never wear again.

On the way home we came up with a plan we both loved - we’d get him a nicely made western style jacket that he’d be comfortable wearing in both semi-formal and more casual settings! So that became our mission the next day, just eight days before the wedding.

Suffice it to say there was nothing even remotely like that, in his size, within 150 miles of where we live. I was about to push “buy” on a jacket that would have to be shipped in and altered when we decided to stop in at a local Men’s Warehouse. I’d called them and I knew they didn’t carry western-style jackets, but maybe...?

My sweetie fell in love with a jacket that looks very much this, and which fit him to a tee:

C8B9FCD7-DC3F-47EE-9738-1937AEDD9E9A.jpeg

I have to admit that I had my reservations, and we left the store without buying it. But then I realized I was substituting my judgement for his... about something HE was going to wear... something I’d HATE if he did that to me... and we went back in and bought it. And were pleasantly surprised to find it had been discounted by more than 50%! Off to Boot Barn for a proper black shirt and “dress” black jeans, and OMG... he looks amazing! And he’s actually thinking about where he might be able to wear that jacket again! (His favorite aunt and her sweetie have been trying to get us to join the Elks Club. We might have to join them to one or two Elks events!)

And the next time we travel through the southwest I am going to treat him to a high quality, properly tailored, western jacket!
 

canuk-gal

Super_Ideal_Rock
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22,276
HI:

Everything came together beautifully! Thank you for sharing your story/journey. Congratulations on your happy event!

cheers--Sharon
 

Piper70

Shiny_Rock
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Nov 19, 2019
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Awww! Congratulations!! I enjoyed reading this. Best wishes for a long and happy life together!
 

bludiva

Ideal_Rock
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You both look fab and it sounds like a wonderful intimate ceremony... congrats!
 

Diamondbug

Brilliant_Rock
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Jul 23, 2009
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Congratulations!!! May you be blessed with a long and happy and spicy marriage. You guys look great but since this is PS.... where are the ring pictures? Did I miss it?
 

astaeria

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 18, 2019
Messages
158
Congrats, both of you look fantastic and love the story as well! Have a wonderful blissful marriage! (:
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jun 8, 2008
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46,368
Congratulations ❤️
Wishing you a lifetime of joy and love. :appl:
 

Austina

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 24, 2017
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Awww, you both look fabulous, glad you had a lovely day, wishing you many happy years together.
 

Aerielle Max

Rough_Rock
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Oct 12, 2017
Messages
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Congratulations and may you have a relationship full of trust and love. It doesn't matter how many visitors you invited. Nowadays, the trend is to have an intimate wedding set up. What matter most is you are celebrating with the people you love.
 

marymm

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 21, 2010
Messages
4,646
Congratulations!!!

You two looked fantastic on your wedding day!!

And what a lovely backstory to your wedding and how wonderful you'll be sharing and celebrating with family in upcoming travels -- I wish you both every happiness!
 

beatricecrummles

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 25, 2020
Messages
34
What a wedding preparation! I really followed through the story and I was amazed at how beautifully things ended up. You both look stunning. And I am inspired by it. Congratulations!
 

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Apr 2, 2006
Messages
10,458
Thank you all for your interest snd good wishes!

Both of our rings are out being sized at the moment. I’ll post ring pics when they’re back on our hands!
 

junebug17

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jun 17, 2009
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12,871
I'm late too but I loved reading your story @VRBeauty! You are stunning and made a beautiful bride, and what a handsome guy! I wish you and your dh all the happiness in the world, congratulations!
 
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