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- Apr 3, 2004
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- 33,852
ain't nothing like the REAL THING babymovie zombie|1335404800|3181049 said:you need relief now: good vibrator and lubricant delivered to the door.
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ain't nothing like the REAL THING babymovie zombie|1335404800|3181049 said:you need relief now: good vibrator and lubricant delivered to the door.
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Dancing Fire|1335405828|3181071 said:ain't nothing like the REAL THING babymovie zombie|1335404800|3181049 said:you need relief now: good vibrator and lubricant delivered to the door.
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radiantquest|1335399443|3180945 said:We had the full work up at the doctors to try and find out what the problem is. The doc says he is fine.
I am sure that he isnt releasing otherwise. Without grossing out the internet just let me assure you I know.
He is into his computer games and thats it. No ****. I tried for 3 months to find **** with no sign.
I have asked him before if he is gay and he says no. I am even considering asking him again and telling him that I will keep his secret. I can have a dude on the side and so can he...Its to the point that I have nearly convinced myself that he must be gay.
decodelighted|1335405008|3181053 said:If he was promiscuous in his teens ... maybe he was sexually abused? If his own child is approaching the age when his abuse began -- maybe he is having uncomfortable feelings about sex in general. Not that he would be an abuser himself ... but he might just be unsettled & turn himself off totally to the subject to "keep safe" & keep unpleasant memories buried?
WILD GUESS ... just throwing stuff at walls to see if anything sticks!
Kaleigh|1335406787|3181092 said:DF there are some threads you just should NOT respond to. We are immune to you by now.. If there was a thread about manly issues, do you think I would even respond?? NO way...
Your comments aren't of any help.
Carry on ladies.![]()
HollyS|1335413857|3181175 said:Indeed, you are in your sexual peak. It is hormonal, perfectly normal, and it won't last forever.
If your husband wants to 'accommodate' your increased interest, great. If he simply doesn't understand your 'needs', I wouldn't be willing to rock the boat of a perfectly good marriage because my hormones were running amok. It'll pass. (I remember it well.)
Sexual peaks peak. And a good marriage rides the crest without going under.
HOWEVER . . . if you two are very much on completely different pages about what is acceptable norms for your sexual partnership, and being honest and frank has not helped, then I would seek professional help.
radiantquest|1335400995|3180970 said:Lady Disdain you may be onto something. The more research that I do about gay husbands says that he would have male **** if it were something he were conflicted about his sexuality. He also isn't anti-homosexual which is something they claim gay men do when they are in the closet with their feelings.
I would be interested in these sites.
Is being asexual something you are born feeling or is it something that can be found out later in life. He has a child, not with me. He has been very open about being very sexual when he was a teenager. He said since 18 his drive has just been dwindling.
Please give me more info about asexuality.
radiantquest|1335399443|3180945 said:He is into his computer games and thats it. No ****. I tried for 3 months to find **** with no sign.
It doesn't matter what other people are reporting about their sexual lives. The lack of sexual intimacy is important and relevant to RQ. For her, sexual intimacy is every bit a priority as finances, religion, etc., in her marriage.heraanderson|1335415022|3181188 said:HollyS|1335413857|3181175 said:Indeed, you are in your sexual peak. It is hormonal, perfectly normal, and it won't last forever.
If your husband wants to 'accommodate' your increased interest, great. If he simply doesn't understand your 'needs', I wouldn't be willing to rock the boat of a perfectly good marriage because my hormones were running amok. It'll pass. (I remember it well.)
Sexual peaks peak. And a good marriage rides the crest without going under.
HOWEVER . . . if you two are very much on completely different pages about what is acceptable norms for your sexual partnership, and being honest and frank has not helped, then I would seek professional help.
What a great post. I totally agree. If you have intimacy in other ways then I wouldn't want to rock the boat either, especially if you have intimacy in other ways like snuggling, affection etc. Personally, I think people over report their sexual lives anyways.
Yes--OPEN THE FLOODGATES. That is the perfect way to put it.TravelingGal|1335392571|3180811 said:Haven|1335392336|3180808 said:I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, RQ (and others!)
I have a different kind of advice for you.
DH and I had an awesome sex life early in our relationship, and then after we bought our house together we experienced a lull, and in about a year's time we weren't really being intimate very often at all. Maybe, like you, it was six times that year. I was frustrated and I would bring it up to DH, and he was frustrated too, but it wasn't getting better.
Then we went on a little trip together, and we were both totally relaxed and happy, and we had a really open, blunt conversation about sex and what we really want. Of course I thought we already knew what each other liked, but it turned out that there was more and we just hadn't had a frank enough conversation yet to reveal it.
It turned out that we were just approaching it in the wrong way. I was making it seem like a *problem*--"Honey, I feel so disconnected," etc. When really we just needed to be totally comfortable exploring what we really like, and making time to make it happen for each other.
I am a big believer that getting away from everyday life helps kickstart things like this because the rest of the world disappears. If you can't make that happen, a frank yet fun discussion about fantasies or desires could also be a really wonderful thing.
This. Whoa nelly, this.
Even if your husband doesn't seem like he has a libido, I can *almost* guarantee he's got some type of drive to fulfill needs behind the scenes, whether it's looking at p*rn, or just a quick release in the shower. The key is finding a way to open up those floodgates with each other.
I'd say more, but...not gonna.![]()
radiantquest|1335456520|3181440 said:He did tell me that sometimes it hurts or is uncomfortbale.I asked where and what, but didnt really get a decent answer. He said that it doesnt happen every time, but he goes into it wondering if it will and then it makes him lose all initiative. If he has an issue he needs to discuss it with me. I know he has back issues. I told him that he cant expect me to understand him if he doesnt tell me whats going on.
HollyS|1335459321|3181474 said:"I wouldn't cheat on him - that's definitely a trust issue, but you could ask him if he'd be okay with consensual extramarital sex."
Really? THIS is what you consider good advice? How ridiculously selfish is that thought? "Well, I need what I need, and I'll just get it from someone else, then." Another prime example of life being all about . . . "ME"?
Maybe people need to stop creating their own vows and stick with the "forsaking all others". Just so it might give you pause, anyway.
There is a plethora of reasons why taking intimacy outside your established relationship (married or not) is the very worst thing you could ever do. I won't list them here; they should be extremely obvious.
You want good advice, OP? Get busy helping yourself over this. Yes, that IS what I mean. When you're done, go enjoy your husband and your marriage. Contentment and happiness is not dependent upon the number of orgasms you have. But if you screw up a perfectly good marriage to someone you love, just how happy will you be?
I agree with you, VRB, that a quick get-away is not the answer. I probably didn't do a good job of describing what worked for us in my attempt to avoid divulging too much information about my own marriage. Certainly it wasn't as easy as going away and just having a little talk.VRBeauty|1335454821|3181411 said:Have you tried time away for the two of you? (I'd just ditto Haven, but frankly it sounds like the issues in your marriage are too deep to be solved by a quick get-away. Then again, if you haven't tried it yet...)
thing2of2|1335460603|3181493 said:HollyS|1335459321|3181474 said:"I wouldn't cheat on him - that's definitely a trust issue, but you could ask him if he'd be okay with consensual extramarital sex."
Really? THIS is what you consider good advice? How ridiculously selfish is that thought? "Well, I need what I need, and I'll just get it from someone else, then." Another prime example of life being all about . . . "ME"?
Maybe people need to stop creating their own vows and stick with the "forsaking all others". Just so it might give you pause, anyway.
There is a plethora of reasons why taking intimacy outside your established relationship (married or not) is the very worst thing you could ever do. I won't list them here; they should be extremely obvious.
You want good advice, OP? Get busy helping yourself over this. Yes, that IS what I mean. When you're done, go enjoy your husband and your marriage. Contentment and happiness is not dependent upon the number of orgasms you have. But if you screw up a perfectly good marriage to someone you love, just how happy will you be?
Right, it's selfish of HER to want sex. It's not selfish of HIM to repeatedly deny her sex and do nothing to fix the problem.The issue is radiant's husband, NOT her.
There is no one size fits all for relationships. Many, many people have open relationships and do just fine with them. If her husband is unwilling or unable to fix this issue, radiant should do what she needs to do to stay happy and sane.
thing2of2|1335460603|3181493 said:HollyS|1335459321|3181474 said:"I wouldn't cheat on him - that's definitely a trust issue, but you could ask him if he'd be okay with consensual extramarital sex."
Really? THIS is what you consider good advice? How ridiculously selfish is that thought? "Well, I need what I need, and I'll just get it from someone else, then." Another prime example of life being all about . . . "ME"?
Maybe people need to stop creating their own vows and stick with the "forsaking all others". Just so it might give you pause, anyway.
There is a plethora of reasons why taking intimacy outside your established relationship (married or not) is the very worst thing you could ever do. I won't list them here; they should be extremely obvious.
You want good advice, OP? Get busy helping yourself over this. Yes, that IS what I mean. When you're done, go enjoy your husband and your marriage. Contentment and happiness is not dependent upon the number of orgasms you have. But if you screw up a perfectly good marriage to someone you love, just how happy will you be?
Right, it's selfish of HER to want sex. It's not selfish of HIM to repeatedly deny her sex and do nothing to fix the problem.The issue is radiant's husband, NOT her.
There is no one size fits all for relationships. Many, many people have open relationships and do just fine with them. If her husband is unwilling or unable to fix this issue, radiant should do what she needs to do to stay happy and sane.