Wedding Venue angst

[Octavia]

So, I''ve started contacting venues and most haven''t gotten back to me yet (in some cases, after 2+ weeks and multiple attempts on my part). The only one I''ve had a really good experience with so far is my college'' B&B/restaurant, and I''m seriously seriously considering just calling it a day and booking them. I''m worried about not looking at more venues, but at the same time, it''s an awesome deal...

Pros:
Alumnae discount on site fee
Food costs less than half of what some caterers around here charge, and is really delicious
BYOB, and I can hire certified bartenders right through the venue
Terrific location -- beautiful grounds and convenient for guests
Good communication
The restaurant is closed on weekends, so all attention would be devoted to us
Sentimental value for me (but not FI, since we didn''t meet until after college)

Cons:
Size -- we''d have too many guests for a sit-down and would have to do stations instead
Will be during the school year so students will probably wander through (I''m not overly concerned about this, though)
The actual restaurant isn''t as pretty as the rest of the campus, or some of the other venues I was considering


So, I know I need to talk to FI and my parents about this too, but I''m wretched at decision-making. The manager has already pencilled me in for the date, so I would just need to confirm some details and she''ll send the contract. I''m pretty sure that FI will love the fact that he doesn''t have to trek around lots of other places, and that it''s (relatively) cheap -- in fact, even if we splurge there it will probably still come in at around half our total budget. And my parents will like it because they already know how to get there (and the cost part, of course)!

Has anyone booked a venue without looking extensively at other places? Or have you booked a place you loved that nevertheless forced you to change something you had a strong preference about (i.e. served meal vs. buffet)? If so, did you regret it? Am I being silly, and should we grab it now while we have the chance? It really does have so much going for it, but I''m feeling like a complete commitment-phobe

 

[Gypsy]

Well. This is something I wouldn't want to have buyer's remorse over. BUT the service sounds good, and at other places, the service sounds lacking. So no matter how lovely the venue, if I had heartburn over bad service it wouldnt' be worth it to me. Will YOU be happy to have your wedding there? Or will you always wonder what else is out there? You need to be happy with the place you choose. Also,l stations sound fabulous to me. But will there be seating for everyone??? Or is going to be cocktail hour style with optional seating.

 

[allycat0303]

I would honestly be patient. The place you have sounds great, but will it be there in a few weeks? I personally can''t make a huge committement without looking at least for one other place. Just for peace of mind. It it were 100% perfect (which I guess no venues are) I would book. But you do have a few things in the ''''con area'''' so I would wait.

 

[Octavia]

Gypsy, I would be happy getting married there. Honestly, I''d be happiest with a backyard wedding but we don''t have a backyard at all, much less one big enough to fit 120 people, and it''s completely impractical to have it where my parents live. This is kind of a next-best thing because it was my backyard, so to speak, for 4 years, and it still feels like a "homey" place because I was very happy during my years there.

There are so many lovely places around here, though, and I''m wary of rushing in without checking out some of them first. Even though I already know that most of those places will cost a lot more than I actually want to spend (although we could technically afford them). I have a hard time deciding what to get for dinner when we go out...deciding where to hold a wedding is a hundred times worse.

Depending on the number of people RSVP-ing "no," we might come in at the limit for a sit-down meal...but even though the venue is pretty flexible, I''m sure we''d have to decide on service further in advance. Cutting the "+1s" might bring us pretty close to the limit, as well, but it just seems wrong. Otherwise, it would be cocktail-style but I think we could still have seating for almost everyone. Before I sign a contract, I''ll go over layout stuff with the venue manager, but I know the space and I really do think it would be okay, if not perfect.

You''re right, alleycat, I should probably wait a little longer. Our date is a Sunday and almost 18 months away, so I don''t think we need to worry too much about the venue being poached within the next few weeks. But I''m kind of burned that we''re going to be spending many thousands of dollars and these other places can''t be bothered to get back to me. And I get excited at the thought of actually getting something done, and spending significantly less than anticipated.

Thanks for bringing me back to earth, ladies!

 

[basil]

It sounds like it''s definitely an option.

I would ask to be penciled in and ask them to give you right of first refusal if someone else inquires for the date. This is what our venue was able to do for us while we were deciding.

But the fact that the other venues aren''t prompt about getting back to you is worrying. I eliminated some places that I was very interested in because their coordinators seemed flakey. And a year later, I am still reading complaints on my local Knot board about those flakey coordinators. Either that, or in the case of one venue, the coordinator changed multiple times since then. You don''t want to deal with that!

 

[Octavia]

Yeah, basil, one place's website says that they'll return any messages within one business day...yet this is the end of business day four, and nothing. I know that six real/four business days isn't really a long time, but they shouldn't promise one day if they can't abide by it. And I contacted a different place (which used to be at the top of my list) almost three weeks ago, and again a couple days ago, and still haven't gotten a response. Even if they're swamped, a one-line email saying that it would be possible to set something up after X date would do. I dislike poor customer service, although I'd rather be turned off by it before I sign a contract than to sign and then realize that I won't be treated well.

Anyway, FI and I are going to have lunch at my alumnae house's restaurant in a couple days, so he can check out the space and get an idea of what the food is like. The manager should be there, so we'll be able to talk to her in person about first right of refusal for the date. I'm feeling much calmer now, but for whatever reason I was so irked earlier!

 

[Gypsy]

If you are happy with the location, the food, and everything including the service... I''d give myself a deadline... like 3 weeks to look at other options, or at least explore them. If nothing happens. Book it. I think it sounds fabulous.

As for +1''s personally, if it isn''t a serious relationship, OR the person would not know ANYONE else there... we didn''t allow plus ones. And I''m very happy with that. Now, the challenge is to stick to it when the crazy RSVP''s start rolling in.

 

[Aim_Turbo]

I actually ran into the same problem. Only one venue got back to me when I was searching and they got back to me the next day after initial contact. We ended up going with them, I''m not chasing around a venue to give them business. It''s insane to me that a business doesn''t return an email until months later..insane! The venue we went with ended up being the first choice anyways so it was an easy sell. Maybe try just showing up at the venue you like best and talk with a manager, maybe there''s something going on that you don''t know about (miscommunication, email''s not getting to them, phone messages being erased.)

 

[rockzilla]

I would say pick up the phone and call them if you haven''t already - I know, its 2008, but some people just aren''t email savvy, but will call you back ASAP. There is something about hearing a voice on the line vs something in your inbox. A few times, I''ve run into those online forms which don''t work.

The caterer we are looking to go with, for example, has email but her computer is at home, not at the kitchen. So she can answer basic questions over email, but if I want to know something specific, I call her at the kitchen where she has everything there. She always answers my emails, but sometimes she says, "why don''t you give me a call at the kitchen, and I''ll have my calendar there"

I guess what I''m trying to say is, if it is a venue you really love, try to get them on the phone. If you then realize that they aren''t responsive (or you find a bunch of terrible reviews online) you can ditch them, but seriously some people are just behind the times! They may be really good at planning events but had their nephew joey set up a geocities page for the place back in 1999 and the aol account its linked to they lost the password to...NOT defending this, just saying look at the whole picture, they may have other redeeming qualities.

 

[Octavia]

Thanks, everyone. One of my problems is that I can''t find any real reviews about wedding vendors here. It''s Philly, for heavens sake, so you''d think there would be something, but the Knot board is mainly people chatting about traffic on I95 or inside jokes I don''t get. When it comes to information on actual wedding-related things, it''s almost impossible. And the local board on Brides.com is practically nonexistent. I haven''t found much in the way of independent reviews, either, and certainly not regarding these particular venues. So I don''t know whether this is a pattern at certain places, or if I''m just unlucky right now.

It''s also kind of foreign to me that people transact business over the phone rather than by email. Maybe it was because of the work I used to do, but I want everything in some form of writing from start to finish. I''ll probably end up calling at least one of these other places to see if they can do better by phone, I just don''t understand why businesses offer an email option if they''re not going to use it.

Anyway, if FI likes what he sees and tastes tomorrow, it''ll definitely be a good thing. I think I''m antsy because I have finals for the next two weeks, and then FI is away for a little over a month, and I really want to book by the end of June, since I''m afraid that the more affordable venues will start getting snapped up by the end of the summer. But I''d rather not make a decision like this mostly on my own. It just feels like, even though we still have time, it''s passing so quickly. Sigh.

 

[rockzilla]

try projectwedding.com they should have local vendor reviews...

 

[bee*]

I only looked at one venue and booked it the day that we went down to see it. I had seen a picture of it years ago and told D about it so we both knew that as soon as we were engaged that was going to be our place. I tend to be an impulse buyer who doesn''t regret my decisions though so if you''re not, I''d look around a bit more. For me the venue is one of the most important things so don''t book that venue if you think that you might regret it later.