vita*dolce
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Vent/Rant/Question for the Ladies
- Thread starter Irishgrrrl
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fleur-de-lis
Brilliant_Rock
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purrfectpear
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Linda W
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Purrf~Date: 8/13/2008 3:46:21 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Good grief, I don''t care what noises they make as long as they keep their little mitts off
I would suggest that the ladies who actually feel threatened or let this stupid behavior bother them, should toughen up a bit
I have yet to be attacked by a whistler
I don''t usually feel "threatened" . . . just annoyed.
The only time I really feel threatened is when there are several of them and I''m alone. Often, they take it beyond just whistling, and comments are made. Yes, I feel threatened when I''m in that situation, as I''m sure many ladies do and should. (See Bliss''s comment above about the groping in Central Park.)
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Linda W
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Linda!!! You know, 59 is FAR from "Supa Granny" territory! LOL!Date: 8/13/2008 4:01:01 PM
Author: Linda W
Date: 8/13/2008 3:57:35 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
Oh, Linda, I bet you STILL get them . . . I bet you''re gorgeous!!!
IG: You are so sweet and thank you.
but....... I will be 59 next month, so I guess I had better start whistling at the young jocks huh?? ha ha ha ha.
Linda W
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while walking my dog yesterday i was honked at by a man driving a sears delivery truck. i flipped him the bird. i don''t feel threatened by guys who whistle or honk or whatever, but i am not the least bit flattered either.
i was approached by a stranger in a shopping mall who straight up said ''i think you are really pretty and would like to talk to you'', so i politely told him i was involved with someone and not interested.
speak to me nicely and you''ll get ''rejected'' nicely. give me some ridiculous sign like a whistle or honk and i will give a sign right back.
i was approached by a stranger in a shopping mall who straight up said ''i think you are really pretty and would like to talk to you'', so i politely told him i was involved with someone and not interested.
speak to me nicely and you''ll get ''rejected'' nicely. give me some ridiculous sign like a whistle or honk and i will give a sign right back.
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TenFour, I agree with this statement completely!
When I get respect, I give respect. When I''m given disrespect, I give it right back (by ignoring them).
The guy in the Sears truck is a whole different animal! When he''s driving that truck, he''s on the job and is representing his company. You would think he''d be a little more professional?!?! I wonder how long it''ll be until he does that to the wrong girl, and she calls Sears and reports him!
Linda W
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You know what? This would really scare me to flip someone off, especially in this day and age.
Our neighbor was cut of by a person on the free way 2 weeks ago. He flipped the person off. This man pulled a gun out and chased our friend on the free way trying to shoot him. Luckily our friend lost him.
I would be so afraid to flip anyone off now a days. Just my 2 cents worth. BTW, our friends wife chewed him out for flipping him off in the first place.
Linda
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WOW, Linda! I''m so sorry this happened to your poor neighbor! People are INSANE these days!
This is why I always ignore the whistlers . . . you never know how unstable they are, and I''m afraid to flip them off or anything like that for fear that something similar might happen. Besides, I think a lot of times they''re just trying to get a rise out of us, and I won''t give them the satisfaction!
Linda W
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lindsaylove
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I think the best thing to do is just ignore it. If you react you are only giving them what they want: a reaction from a pretty girl. Even if it''s a negative reaction - it is acknowledging their behavior and letting it get to you.
I agree about the touching though - no dice. I''ve grabbed many a hand that tried to pinch me when out at bars... boy were they surprised.
I agree about the touching though - no dice. I''ve grabbed many a hand that tried to pinch me when out at bars... boy were they surprised.
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Lindsay, ITA! Ignoring is the way to go, unless they''re trying for physical contact. {shudder}Date: 8/13/2008 4:25:02 PM
Author: lindsaylove
I think the best thing to do is just ignore it. If you react you are only giving them what they want: a reaction from a pretty girl. Even if it''s a negative reaction - it is acknowledging their behavior and letting it get to you.
I agree about the touching though - no dice. I''ve grabbed many a hand that tried to pinch me when out at bars... boy were they surprised.
WishfulThinking
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That reminds me of a recent incident in Florida. A young woman was being verbally harassed by a man in a nearby car [she was also in a car] and she flipped him off, some words were said, and he chased the car and shot her. She died.
I used to flip people off. Now I worry that something like that will happen, so I am too afraid. It makes me incredibly angry that we even have to worry about something like that.
Street harassment is one of my least favourite things in the world when it comes to experiencing it, but it becomes absolutely MADDENING when combined with my academic Gender Studies mind. I don''t like power games, and I see street harassment as one of the more visible signs of a disrespectful, patriarchal culture that objectifies me like a piece of meat if I so much as dare to step out of my house. Studying it, learning the social and political theories behind it... that is my "weapon" with which I fight back. It makes me feel better than flipping someone off, and it''s a bit less dangerous to boot.
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Wishful, I agree with every word you just said!!!Date: 8/13/2008 4:32:41 PM
Author: WishfulThinking
That reminds me of a recent incident in Florida. A young woman was being verbally harassed by a man in a nearby car [she was also in a car] and she flipped him off, some words were said, and he chased the car and shot her. She died.
I used to flip people off. Now I worry that something like that will happen, so I am too afraid. It makes me incredibly angry that we even have to worry about something like that.
Street harassment is one of my least favourite things in the world when it comes to experiencing it, but it becomes absolutely MADDENING when combined with my academic Gender Studies mind. I don''t like power games, and I see street harassment as one of the more visible signs of a disrespectful, patriarchal culture that objectifies me like a piece of meat if I so much as dare to step out of my house. Studying it, learning the social and political theories behind it... that is my ''weapon'' with which I fight back. It makes me feel better than flipping someone off, and it''s a bit less dangerous to boot.
That poor girl in Florida! That''s just awful!
So how do you deal with it when it happens to you, knowing what you do about Gender Studies, etc.? Do you just ignore them too? If there''s a "right" way to deal with this type of thing, I''d love to know what it is!
jcarlylew
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okay, i am answering BEFORE i read responses. I hope i don''t offend anyone,
How do i deal? I ignore them, or give them a dirty look, depending on where they are working/hanging. I hate to say it, but a construction worker whistling at me is far less annoying that a "day worker" doing so.
No one would EVER be able to pick me up that way. I mean, do i get a little gratifacation know that i am SOOOO dang zexy that they lose all air out of their lungs and make a whistle sound, sure thang!
But no, there is no way "hey baby" is ever going to result in a long term relation.
I agree when being alone and that happens it does skeeve me out. It seems like a gang/group mentality that they all do it at once, full well knowing that, that girl is someone sister, mother, daughter, WIFE.
However, there is a flip side. all the girls (that i used to work with) would go gaga over bike messengers and construction workers.
How do i deal? I ignore them, or give them a dirty look, depending on where they are working/hanging. I hate to say it, but a construction worker whistling at me is far less annoying that a "day worker" doing so.
No one would EVER be able to pick me up that way. I mean, do i get a little gratifacation know that i am SOOOO dang zexy that they lose all air out of their lungs and make a whistle sound, sure thang!
I agree when being alone and that happens it does skeeve me out. It seems like a gang/group mentality that they all do it at once, full well knowing that, that girl is someone sister, mother, daughter, WIFE.
However, there is a flip side. all the girls (that i used to work with) would go gaga over bike messengers and construction workers.
jcarlylew
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Hee hee! There is a guy who works in our building, and all of the girls at my office talk about how hot he is! The difference is, they don''t whistle and yell "HEY BABY" when he walks by. Women have more class, I guess! LOL!Date: 8/13/2008 4:40:50 PM
Author: jcarlylew
okay, i am answering BEFORE i read responses. I hope i don''t offend anyone,
How do i deal? I ignore them, or give them a dirty look, depending on where they are working/hanging. I hate to say it, but a construction worker whistling at me is far less annoying that a ''day worker'' doing so.
No one would EVER be able to pick me up that way. I mean, do i get a little gratifacation know that i am SOOOO dang zexy that they lose all air out of their lungs and make a whistle sound, sure thang!But no, there is no way ''hey baby'' is ever going to result in a long term relation.
I agree when being alone and that happens it does skeeve me out. It seems like a gang/group mentality that they all do it at once, full well knowing that, that girl is someone sister, mother, daughter, WIFE.
However, there is a flip side. all the girls (that i used to work with) would go gaga over bike messengers and construction workers.
Linda W
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somethingshiny
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Erin
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Jerry Seinfeld:
WHAT WOMEN WANT:
I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don’t get it, OK? I, I, I admit, I, I’m not getting the signals. I am not getting it! Women, they’re so subtle, their little.. everything they do is subtle.. men are not subtle, we are obvious. Women know what men want, men know what men want, what do we want? We want women, that’s it! It’s the only thing we know for sure, it really is: we want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don’t know ’bout that, we don’t know. The next step after that we have no idea. This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we’ve had so far.. The car-horn-honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks. This man is out of ideas. The amazing thing is, that we still get women, don’t we. Men, I mean, men are with women. You see men with women. How are men getting women, many people wonder. Let me tell you a little bit about our organization. Where ever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now. Now, he may not be our best man, OK, we have a lot of areas to cover, but someone from our staff is on the scene. That’s why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like: “Where to meet men?”. We’re here, we are everywhere. We’re honking our horns to serve you better.
WHAT WOMEN WANT:
I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don’t get it, OK? I, I, I admit, I, I’m not getting the signals. I am not getting it! Women, they’re so subtle, their little.. everything they do is subtle.. men are not subtle, we are obvious. Women know what men want, men know what men want, what do we want? We want women, that’s it! It’s the only thing we know for sure, it really is: we want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don’t know ’bout that, we don’t know. The next step after that we have no idea. This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we’ve had so far.. The car-horn-honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks. This man is out of ideas. The amazing thing is, that we still get women, don’t we. Men, I mean, men are with women. You see men with women. How are men getting women, many people wonder. Let me tell you a little bit about our organization. Where ever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now. Now, he may not be our best man, OK, we have a lot of areas to cover, but someone from our staff is on the scene. That’s why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like: “Where to meet men?”. We’re here, we are everywhere. We’re honking our horns to serve you better.
jas
Brilliant_Rock
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I never found it to be a compliment. I found it degrading and humiliating...and then it was my fault for not being amused by the objectification.
I went to college and grad school in not-very-safe areas; I developed a bit of a b*tchface when I had to walk anywhere by myself...oh, the times random men would say, "Smile, hon!"
Really, would anyone ever tell a guy (even a hottie hot hot bike messenger) to "smile"?
Grrr.
Now, if these same people hooted, hollered, whistled and made "boom baba boom" noises while I walked across the stage to pick up my diplomas, that''d have been cool!
I went to college and grad school in not-very-safe areas; I developed a bit of a b*tchface when I had to walk anywhere by myself...oh, the times random men would say, "Smile, hon!"
Really, would anyone ever tell a guy (even a hottie hot hot bike messenger) to "smile"?
Grrr.
Now, if these same people hooted, hollered, whistled and made "boom baba boom" noises while I walked across the stage to pick up my diplomas, that''d have been cool!
WishfulThinking
Brilliant_Rock
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Thanks, Irishgrrl! To be honest, I have spent a lot of time thinking about this, and I am not sure there is one right answer. The best I have been able to come up with is a mental list of the various situations in which street harassment occurs. I find it's most common when I'm walking and the harasser is in a vehicle. I usually [and I hate this] don't do or say anything. I don't turn my head, I try my best not to look visibly angry, but I am too afraid of a person in a vehicle to do something that might provoke them. I've also been in situations where I am walking and being harassed by someone who is also walking or on the street somewhere. I usually just ignore them if they do something once and keep walking, but if they do it again I usually tell them to leave me alone. If they follow me [this situation scares me the most] and I am in a public place I usually say loudly "this man is following me!" and so many people turn to look that the person lays off.Date: 8/13/2008 4:38:28 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
Wishful, I agree with every word you just said!!!Date: 8/13/2008 4:32:41 PM
Author: WishfulThinking
That reminds me of a recent incident in Florida. A young woman was being verbally harassed by a man in a nearby car [she was also in a car] and she flipped him off, some words were said, and he chased the car and shot her. She died.
I used to flip people off. Now I worry that something like that will happen, so I am too afraid. It makes me incredibly angry that we even have to worry about something like that.
Street harassment is one of my least favourite things in the world when it comes to experiencing it, but it becomes absolutely MADDENING when combined with my academic Gender Studies mind. I don't like power games, and I see street harassment as one of the more visible signs of a disrespectful, patriarchal culture that objectifies me like a piece of meat if I so much as dare to step out of my house. Studying it, learning the social and political theories behind it... that is my 'weapon' with which I fight back. It makes me feel better than flipping someone off, and it's a bit less dangerous to boot.
That poor girl in Florida! That's just awful!
So how do you deal with it when it happens to you, knowing what you do about Gender Studies, etc.? Do you just ignore them too? If there's a 'right' way to deal with this type of thing, I'd love to know what it is!
I've had the best responses when I just ignore them, but calling them out publicly seems to embarrass them enough to make them stop. I hate ignoring it.
If someone touches me, I punch them. I have, too.
ETA: I also hate when people say "smile baby" as if I was somehow put on this earth simply for their viewing enjoyment. It infuriates me. I'm supposed to be so damn happy to be a target of harassment that I am all smiles? UGHHHH.
lindsaylove
Shiny_Rock
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MonkeyPie
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Past, Present, Future: The Meaning of Three-Stone Engagement Rings
Past, Present, Future: The Meaning of Three-Stone Engagement Rings - 04/14
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