URGENT Relationship Advice

[decodelighted]

from Michelle Obama ...

Excerpt:

But best of all was her answer to the question on "how you landed such a good guy." "Did you know that Mr. O. was a great catch," asks the reader, "and what advice can you give a 26-year-old young professional" about how to land her own? Not shockingly, Obama says the POTUS "was special in terns of his honesty, his sincerity, his compassion for other people...cute''s good, but cute only lasts for so long." And then this, which should really just replace the dating portion of Self-Help:

Look at how the guy treats his mother, what he says about women, how he acts with children he doesn''t know. And more importantly how does he treat you? When you''re dating a man, you should always feel good...you should never feel less than...you should never doubt yourself, you shouldn''t be in a relationship with someone who doesn''t make you completely happy or make you feel whole. And if you''re in (such a) relationship, don''t get married, and find that person who brings you complete and utter joy.

 

[brown_eyes]

very well said

 

[Lauren8211]

Amen!

 

[fuzzers]

Well, there''s one thing I agree with her on. That''s perfect!

 

[vc10um]

 

[jcarlylew]

very well said!

kinda gave me warm fuzzies

 

[lilyfoot]

Thanks for posting that

 

[misskitty]

Very nice!

 

[Rock_of_Love]

Awww she''s great! Excellent advice!

 

[Porridge]

AMEN! Perfectly said.

 

[Luckyeshe]

So True!! Well said!

 

[16ocean]

Yup! Nice to have it in a succinct quote to come back to . . .

 

[Yvette]

Excellent advice. My only concern is with the comment about being with someone who makes you feel "completely happy." I''ve watched many successful relationships, and the most successful are those in which both people have happiness (perhaps I''d call it "joy") from within, rather than trying to pull it from the other person. Thoughts?

 

[janinegirly]

Date: 11/5/2009 8:53:20 AM
Author: Yvette
Excellent advice. My only concern is with the comment about being with someone who makes you feel 'completely happy.' I've watched many successful relationships, and the most successful are those in which both people have happiness (perhaps I'd call it 'joy') from within, rather than trying to pull it from the other person. Thoughts?

I agree. While no one would disagree with this advice it's a little too perfect sounding. Of course you need to be with someone who makes you feel good, is supportive but everything does not have to be sing song perfect. There is team effort and work and acceptance of flaws here and there and each person's individual decision of where that line lies (of needing the other to provide positive self-perception while understanding it can't all come from that person-who will have needs too and some level of imperfection themself).

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 11/5/2009 8:53:20 AM
Author: Yvette
Excellent advice. My only concern is with the comment about being with someone who makes you feel 'completely happy.' I've watched many successful relationships, and the most successful are those in which both people have happiness (perhaps I'd call it 'joy') from within, rather than trying to pull it from the other person. Thoughts?

I think we all know, or should, that we cannot be happy with someone else until we are happy within ourselves. I interpreted her statement to mean that the person you are with should bring more joy into your life and be a source of happiness, not that they should change how you feel about yourself (you should be joyful and content before entering the relationship) but that the person adds to your life in a positive manner, rather than detracting from your happiness they add to it.

 

[lilyfoot]

Yvette, I understand how you're taking what she said. If she meant that your happiness should rely on your partner, I wouldn't be too happy with that statement

But I didn't take it that way, and I honestly don't think she meant it that way.

I took it more as your partner should make you feel completely happy to be in that relationship, to be with that person. Not happy in general, if that makes any sense? Even when I am upset at my boyfriend, I am still "happy" or "glad" to be in the relationship that I'm in. If I wasn't happy IN my relationship, I would get OUT of it.

Edited for the horrible "your" vs. "you're" mistake