Upgrade dilemma

[KrisA]

Hello everyone,
I have been a lurker for the last year & finally decide to join so that I could get some much needed advice from this knowledgeable group. I need help/advice with an upgrade gone bad! 2 years ago my husband told me that he wanted to upgrade my wring stone (.82 H color VVS1-purchased in 1997 at his hometown family B&M jeweler). He proposed with this stone (which was originally set in a plain knife edge 14carat yellow gold). We reset the stone into my grandmother's white gold setting 2 years after we were married & had my channel set 7 stone band custom made. The whole set was very sentimental. However, when presented with the opportunity to upgrade to a larger stone, I have to admit, I was excited! We decided to go to a local jeweler instead of returning to the original jeweler (to establish a relationship with a jeweler near our current home). DH claims that the orig jeweler did have an upgrade policy, but he was willing to overlook that for convenience. The jeweler offered us much less than DH expected & therefore the budget for the new stone was compromised. This is where the process should have ended. We ended up upgrading to a 1.2 carat RB J VS1 GIA triple X. I know we way a overpaid. The stone is set in a 19k WG Scott Kay Radiance setting. It's a nice step up from the .82, but it isn't exactly what either one o us really imagined... we both had sticker shock. So, since then, I must admit, I just don't love this ring (I don't even wear all that often), which is sad, considering my DH's sweet intentions to do a nice thing. He knows I am unhappy & he's not really thrilled either. The store has an upgrade policy where they will give us back what we paid, however, it seems their prices are so inflated, we will always be overpaying. I was recently there & asked what they would give me for my ering, if I traded it for another stone or even an eternity band (something that I have always wanted). I figure we could take the hit on the stone, buy a nice eternity band & then start over at square one to shop around for a good quality stone to complete my upgrade once & for all.
I know this is a long winded post & I apologize but I am just looking for some advice/direction. I feel like we really messed up trading in my orig stone that meant so much & now I am left with a pretty stone but not exactly what either one of us really wanted (we settled).

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

I'm sorry you are stuck in the dilemma, but I think you've come to the right place for help, because if you choose to return the ring for what you paid, there are ways to find what you're looking for, and not feel sticker shock and feel like you overpaid. Personally, I cant imagine what it would feel like to wear a ring that neither me nor my husband had any particular affinity towards. If I were in your position, I would return the ring, and start from square one. With the money you got back from your ring, and anything else you want to put in or take back for savings, vacation, etc, how much could you comfortably spend for a new ring? And with that, what are your specs (type of stone, size, color, clarity, etc)? And then what kind of setting do you want? If you're comfortable with buying online, you'll get a much much better deal. There are a lot of PSers too who are selling their amazing stones are below retail price, so you could also find a great deal on the second hand market too if you're open to that.

Hopefully we can help solve your dilemma and get you to the point of owning a beautiful ring you are happy and proud of!

 

[TC1987]

People will say post the specs of the J color diamond, table & depth %s, and crown & pavilion angles, all off the GIA report, then plug those into the HCA (under Tools here) and see what number it gives you. So, I will say it 1st. lol

What bothers you about the upgrade diamond? It's probably 7mm in diameter which is not small. If you change the mounting to a bezel setting, that will increase the apparent diameter to over 8mm, and 8mm is the diameter of a 2ct RB diamond. The bezel might help camouflage the tint better, too.

Or, you could halo. And/or change to a rose gold or yellow gold or two-tone mounting. There are many people on here who have large J and K color diamonds or L or M - N- O - P even, and they like them. Examine all the options before you decide to sell or trade the diamond at a loss, provided it's well cut. Also, Brian Gavin recuts diamonds for a fee, too.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

If I am hearing you correctly, you are more concerned that you overpaid and did not get what you could have with your budget. That is typical when dealing with local jewelers, unfortunately. Had you come here, we could have shown you comparable stones and you could have compared prices. I would absolutely not upgrade with this jeweler. Someday if the budget allows, turn the current diamond into either a 3 stone ring for your other hand and or a pendant and then start all over with the e-ring. Many people do this for a future anniversary. For now, you have a nice quality diamond and you will just have to let go of the potential extra money spent because it can't be undone.

Trust me, many of us bought diamonds before we came here, and we overpaid and did not get the best quality. So we all learn from that and just have to move forward making wiser future purchases.

(And I see no point in anyone posting specs unless a diamond can be returned. You got GIA XXX which is already far better than most pre-PS purchases we see!)

 

[TC1987]

??? Sell it outright via consignment, or PS Preloved Gems, or LoupeTroop, or DiamondBistro, sell it locally, or sell or trade it to a PS vendor might be options. Not being rude, but it boils down to either accept the ring as-is, or put more money in to change it. It sounds like the OP is investigating the "change it" options.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Sure, sell it if you can afford to lose maybe half the cost of the diamond and start over and add more money. I still would not consider overpaying again by upgrading with the jeweler. I just personally would rather reuse a diamond than take a huge hit on it. It's going to cost a lot to get another diamond no matter which way you look at it.

 

[CharmyPoo]

I would pause for a moment and reflect back on what it is that you aren't happy about. Reading your post, it isn't all the clear to me and I think it is important to narrow down the source of issue so you can actually resolve it.

a. The size of the diamond you got for your money
b. The way your Scott Kay setting looks
c. The way your diamond looks (not the size)
d. Just the feeling you got taken which ruins the ring / diamond for you
e. You are missing your old diamond

Given your situation, it is tough not to lose too much of the money you invested unless you are able to get a straight refund from your jeweler. You will not get back much for your Scott Kay setting as second hand settings lose a lot of money. Diamonds sold on the second hand market drops a fair bit too .. I would say for a well cut RB .. you are looking at losing 30-40% off online prices. This means if you want to start all over and can't return your set - I would highly suggest that you try to sell the diamond here and look to replace it with a second hand market old European cut diamond (where you can go much larger for cheaper). The reason I recommend an OEC because I have a sneaking suspicion that you might like old cuts (given your grandmother's setting).

If you don't mind, share your specs and how much you paid so we can see what we are looking at.

 

[CharmyPoo]

For your reference, a diamond of similar specs online is around $6000-$8000. This means I would expect no more than $5000 or so if you sell it on the second hand market. It will go faster if it has an HCA score of under 2 and H&A.

 

[TC1987]

Thanks, CharmyPoo. That's exactly why I previously said:

• post the specs and run it through the HCA
  study all of the options before deciding to sell or trade it at a loss, because there will be a monetary cost to either change the setting or start over
  determine if perhaps the cut can be tweaked
  and I implied "Figure out exactly what is wrong and what problem(s) we are trying to solve."

The OP said it's a pretty diamond, too.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Y'all are exactly right that she needs to identify exactly what the problem is. The diamond sounds fine since it is GIA XXX (I didn't want to pick her diamond apart in the event she really needs to keep it). So it would help to identify the problem and then we can help her solve it.

 

[KrisA]

Wow, thank you all so much for the comments & suggestions; I knew this forum would be helpful! The root issue is that I (we) look at this stone/ring & just see a mistake. It is not what was intended. Yes, it's a bigger stone than I had, but not exactly what we were trying to accomplish & now another upgrade will be needed to get to the final goal.We were not prepared to do this upgrade because we didn't do our homework. We had no idea what it would cost us to get a much larger stone nor did we know what my stone was really worth out there on the market. It was Christmastime & the pressure was on to do this & make it my gift & I don't think either one of us wanted to admit that the real issue was that we couldn't afford what we really wanted, so we settled on this. It's a beautiful stone & I do love the setting; I am partial to solitaires! My regret: telling DH to take the $$ he had in mind & just spend it on an eternity band that I have wanted for a while. DH's regret: not doing more homework on what the budget was going to allow. I was asking for this upgrade, he wanted to do it because he wanted me to have the bigger diamond that he thought we could now afford. However, after doing some online research, I have found that we didn't really get taken on the stone (we paid $8200). It also seems that it may cost $15k+ to upgrade the size. I was not thrilled with the Jcolor, but since the cut is fantastic, it faces up nice & white, so I would not be opposed to staying in the Jcolor category to get a larger carat. I am not sure what is in our budget to fix the issue; it's not high on the priority list right now. The jeweler has offered us $8200 for the ring (the setting is included in this; they tell me it's really not worth anything). I haven't had them price out any other stones, but just for curiosity, I looked at an eternity band (3 carat), which they quoted me $15k. So, I just don't know what direction to follow.
1. Do nothing, save some $$ & upgrade at another time. I am in no rush, it will be worth the wait to have it done right.
2. Trade in the ring (which I don't wear) & put the $$ towards an eternity band at this jeweler & continue to shop around for a stone for an e-ring at another time. I would be happy wearing an eternity band solo - happier than I would be wearing this current ring!
3. Trade in the ring & do the upgrade with this jeweler.

I know DH will not feel comfortable buying a diamond on-line. We live outside of Boston, MA & know a few people who have had luck at the Jeweler's Building. Though, after poking around on-line, perhaps our jeweler isn't too far off with it's pricing, perhaps we just need to come to the realization that this is way out of our budget at this time in our lives.

Again, I really appreciate all of your thoughts & comments. I will keep you posted on what happens!

 

[CharmyPoo]

Reading between the lines ... It sounds like the issues are a, b, d from my list. You didn't get a bad diamond and your price isn't bad. I think you should enjoying until you get a bigger upgrade. Perhaps you can still use your old setting? The Scott Kai's a very nice setting ... I have a similar one in 3 stone.

 

[KrisA]

I think I just need to accept this ring as a step towards the ultimate goal. I always thought if we upgraded, it would be a one & done , but hey, things dont always work out the way you plan! At least now, I feel like I will have time to research/shop around before rushing into anything. I'm so glad that I stumbled upon PS; you folks are fabulous!