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Update to the evil cousin situation

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robbie3982

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So apparently her bf did the exact opposite of what everyone seems to think he should have...

and now they''re engaged


I really feel sorry for this guy. And now I''m worried that my cousin is going to try to plan a wedding for the same time as mine just to spite me. ugh.
 

psaddict

Shiny_Rock
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Dec 9, 2006
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What!! Right after the behavior he witnessed from her?? Does he possibly have really low self worth?
Your cousin sounded awful, and seemed like the type of girl to emotionally abuse the guy she''s with, just because of her own insecurities on top of just being mean. How/where did it happen? and how long have they been together?
 

larussel03

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wow, he''s a glutton for punishment, huh?


Well, that just strengthens my theory that there really is someone for everyone out there. Even if she''s miserable it''s good she found someone like him, no one deserves to be alone (thinking on the bright side here,
)
 

RoseAngel04

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Jun 8, 2006
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OMG!!!! WOWZERS!
I''m kinda speechless..........

Did she call and tell you? I very sincerely hope she doesn''t do anything to ruin ya''lls day. From what you''ve shared with us about her I can only imagine....but hopefully she''ll prove herself a little class and dignity.
 

poptart

Brilliant_Rock
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May 23, 2006
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Wow. I wonder what she did to him... it reminds me, in a very NOT funny way, about a show called "Keeping Up Appearances". I always wonder why he married her because she was so over the top, although not abusive, like she sounds.

*M*
 

robbie3982

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Y didn''t call me. Apparently it just happened and she sent our aunt an email saying that they have no plans for a wedding any time soon (just found that out from one of our cousins). Our aunt is still not speaking to her after what she did on Thanksgiving.

PSA, they''ve been together for about 2 and a half years I think. It''s funny because last summer all of sudden she told everyone "oh by the way, I''m dating this guy and we''ve been together for a year..." No one knew anything about him! The first we heard about him was a few weeks before our annual family reunion bbq where we all met him. It was really weird. He''s really nice though.

My dad says she can''t do anything to ruin our wedding because her parents won''t let her, but I really don''t know about that. Seriously this girl is so manipulative that her parents will do whatever she wants. Plus, if she''s getting married the same day, whether they''re paying for it or not, her parents will be there and they''ll make her brother be there too. I''m pretty close to my aunt and her brother''s in the wedding, so I''d be really upset if they didn''t come. ugh.

When our cousin first told me my first thought was "OMG, what''s the ring like?" Typical PSer thought lol. Then I remember I hate her and I don''t care haha.
 

robbie3982

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Apparently my cousin got the email not quite right. According to my mom (my aunt forwarded it to her), it says that she''ll probably get married in the summer, but they won''t have a wedding since she can''t afford it. I don''t know what she''s talking about there since she wouldn''t be paying for it. Her parents spoil her rotten with everything else. Her wedding would be no exception.

Now I really need to get those save the dates out since my wedding is September 8th and we have relatives who would be coming from out of town for either wedding.
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 18, 2005
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What?! And then my second thought was: "She must have forced him to do it!"


Ugh. I hope she doesn''t steal your date. Get those STDs sent out ASAP!
 

sumbride

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I doubt she''d get married on the same day, but I bet she''d try really hard to make sure it''s before yours! She wouldn''t want to share an anniversary or anything... but she''ll want to "steal all the thunder" she can! Just let it roll off your back.
 

ljmorgan

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I have a feeling that she''s been so jealous of your wedding talk that she pushed her boyfriend into making this happen -- it does happen!
 

robbie3982

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As long as she doesn''t cause people to not come to my wedding, I don''t really care when she gets married. Honestly I get a little embarrassed when I''m the center of attention, so I''m not really worried about her stealing any thunder. Plus, all of the people I''m closest to in my family hate her right now, so it''s not an issue anyway.

There''s lots going on this year too, so the thunder was never all mine anyway. We have a cousin who just got married out in CA in October, but she''ll be having a reception this summer in NY (our family is almost all east coast). Then there''s my sister who''s having her bat mitzvah in April and I know that Y''s brother is going to be proposing to his gf pretty soon.

So, like I said I couldn''t care less about being the center of attention all the time (the wedding, the bridal shower and the bachelorette party will be plenty
).

I just don''t want her to create more drama or cause her parents and brother to not come to my wedding.

I gave out some STDs over thanksgiving, but I have a lot more that need to be mailed out. I think that''s what I''ll be doing when I get home from work. Right after I take care of FI who''s been sick since Saturday. My poor baby.
 

ChargerGrrl

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Date: 12/11/2006 7:25:30 AM
Author: anchor31
What?! And then my second thought was: ''She must have forced him to do it!''


Ugh. I hope she doesn''t steal your date. Get those STDs sent out ASAP!
That''s the same thing I thought!

Please don''t waste your time/energy wondering about her wedding plans. Yep, she sounds like a beast and anything is possible (i.e same wedding date), but just remember that you have one heck of a jump start on her!
 

musey

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Date: 12/11/2006 9:51:57 AM
Author: *Lindsey*
I have a feeling that she's been so jealous of your wedding talk that she pushed her boyfriend into making this happen -- it does happen!
That was my first thought, too!
Robbie, you're handling this with so much more grace than I ever could. Hats off to you, girl!
 

gail013

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Sep 21, 2006
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335
After reading about your cousin, I have to wonder if it will really happen. Even if she does get married, it seems pretty obvious it''s not a marriage that will have others envious.
Just pretend to be thrilled for her, and that will really irritate her.
 

Mara

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someone for everyone!

i used to have a ''friend'' who was a mega bitch basically to almost everyone except those she really cared about. she had a small contingent of friends (who she could turn on sometimes in a fit of fury) but she LOVED her fiance and treated him LIKE GOLD. she never ever was bitchy or mean to him...she adored him. it was really interesting to watch actually. she was very intense in general and burned out rather quickly but when it came to her relationship, she was no holds barred.
 

robbie3982

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Date: 12/11/2006 4:12:55 PM
Author: Mara
someone for everyone!

i used to have a ''friend'' who was a mega bitch basically to almost everyone except those she really cared about. she had a small contingent of friends (who she could turn on sometimes in a fit of fury) but she LOVED her fiance and treated him LIKE GOLD. she never ever was bitchy or mean to him...she adored him. it was really interesting to watch actually. she was very intense in general and burned out rather quickly but when it came to her relationship, she was no holds barred.
Maybe that''s how she is with her FI, but I really find it hard to believe. Who knows though. I feel so bad for our cousins (the twins who are 2 of my BMs). Their mom told them that if she has a wedding they HAVE to go even though they hate her and don''t want to. And I bet if she asks them to be in it they''ll have to do that too. At least I won''t even be invited. Then no one can make me go
 

robbie3982

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So, I decided to be the bigger person and congratulate her when I saw her on IM. It appears that we are on the track to being ok again, but who knows. I asked if she''s sorry about what she said and she said yes, but then she keeps bringing up stupid stuff that she''s mad at me about from like 6 years ago.
 

robbie3982

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I told her that she needs to apologize to my mom and FI, but everytime I say it she changes the subject... News travels fast in our fam, so my mom now knows that I made the first step and she''s "so proud of me for being so mature." So, I told her I bought the second dress. And guess what, she knew! She watched it on ebay to see what I''d do and then pretended not to know! She''s so sneaky. Anyway, I told her I have immunity for this and she can''t be mad even if I don''t sell the other dress.
 

Pandora II

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I was having a think about your cousin and the situation a few days ago - just one of those things I ponder while I''m travelling to work - and wondered what had happened. Your post didn''t surprise me at all.

I reckon that her age and situation had just got too much and seeing you with what she wanted was just the final straw. I know how I will feel if my much younger brother gets engaged before me (could happen). I know I''d keep it all inside and pretend to be all ecstatic, but inside it would be hard.

Maybe her bf sees a side of her that the rest of you don''t.

I may be totally wrong here - and I don''t excuse her behaviour one bit, but I was thinking how all the PSers would reply if it was her posting here with her story not you, and though a couple of posters would probably give her a good talking to, there would also be a lot of compassion.
 

TravelingGal

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Date: 12/11/2006 6:59:26 PM
Author: Pandora II
I was having a think about your cousin and the situation a few days ago - just one of those things I ponder while I''m travelling to work - and wondered what had happened. Your post didn''t surprise me at all.

I reckon that her age and situation had just got too much and seeing you with what she wanted was just the final straw. I know how I will feel if my much younger brother gets engaged before me (could happen). I know I''d keep it all inside and pretend to be all ecstatic, but inside it would be hard.

Maybe her bf sees a side of her that the rest of you don''t.

I may be totally wrong here - and I don''t excuse her behaviour one bit, but I was thinking how all the PSers would reply if it was her posting here with her story not you, and though a couple of posters would probably give her a good talking to, there would also be a lot of compassion.
Funny, I thought about this when Robbie first posted about her.

There are some people who are truly self absorbed and can''t see beyond their own feelings. Robbie''s cousin may or may not be one of these, although it does sound like she is. There are always two sides to every story,but since Robbie does post here, I''m somewhat inclined to believe her side of things. I say *somewhat* because I really don''t know anyone personally like the girl Robbie is describing and sometimes can''t imagine anyone would REALLY be that bad, but I know people like this must exist.

Anyway, good for you for congratulating her Robbie. I think life''s too short to hold grudges and spend energy hating someone...you have your own exciting life to worry about.
 

robbie3982

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Date: 12/11/2006 6:59:26 PM
Author: Pandora II
I was having a think about your cousin and the situation a few days ago - just one of those things I ponder while I''m travelling to work - and wondered what had happened. Your post didn''t surprise me at all.

I reckon that her age and situation had just got too much and seeing you with what she wanted was just the final straw. I know how I will feel if my much younger brother gets engaged before me (could happen). I know I''d keep it all inside and pretend to be all ecstatic, but inside it would be hard.

Maybe her bf sees a side of her that the rest of you don''t.

I may be totally wrong here - and I don''t excuse her behaviour one bit, but I was thinking how all the PSers would reply if it was her posting here with her story not you, and though a couple of posters would probably give her a good talking to, there would also be a lot of compassion.
Pandora, I agree that part of it was due to what you said, but it was sooo much deeper than that. Seriously, if other people hadn''t been there to witness it I doubt anyone would''ve believed that she would do something so horrible.

We''ve talked a bit more and she''s agreed to apologize to both my mom and to FI. She also invited me to her wedding and agreed to have it at least a month before mine (she''s thinking July which will work just fine for me). I hope that her parents can still come to mine now that they''ll be so close together and they''ll be paying for hers and they''ll be flying in from Israel special for mine if they come (they would already be here at the time of hers anyway).
 

gailrmv

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 8, 2005
Messages
3,136
My first thought was, what does the evil cousin''s ring look like? :)
I think you''ve shown a lot of maturity in dealing with the evil cousin. Maybe she''ll be more civil now that she has a wedding of her own to plan and maybe she will be focused less on you. Will you see her again at Chanukkah/New Years time?

Get those save the dates sent, girl!
 

robbie3982

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I really only see her once or twice a year, so not again until the summer for our cousin''s reception. She has a place holder ring at the moment. It''s a white gold heart ring from tiffany''s. They''re going to pick hers out soon from the diamdond district in nyc.
 

flopkins

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Nov 15, 2004
Messages
2,025
I''m glad you made the first move, and that she has agreed to apologize... hopefully her acting out was just out of jealousy that you were engaged and she wasn''t, and now that the situation has changed she will mellow out... !!
 

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
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After catching up to this and your other new thread (
I have to ask: Have you considered taking a job in the diplomatic corps? They could use someone with your skills!


As for your mother, perhaps the FBI has some opeining?
 

robbie3982

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Lol. This is actually a new thing for me. I have no idea when I became mature. Haha.
 
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