**Update, The Mean Girls At South Hadley

[Smurfysmiles]

I know this was posted in family & home a while ago but if anyone has been following the story about Phoebe Prince there is an update. Many of the students involved in the taunting have been expelled from the high school.
Here''s the press release from the high school

http://www.wggb.com/Global/story.asp?S=12025608

And here is a link to what happened in the first place

http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/01/phoebe_prince_15_commits_suici.php

Thoughts? Ideas?

Personally I don''t think just shipping them off to another school where the same thing could happen is the answer, I think a different type of discipline was in order (i.e. juvenile detention, community service, counseling, etc.) but that''s just me.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Here is the link to the original thread posted about this...
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/mean-girls-upsetting-news-item.134797/

 

[JSM]

Thanks for posting Smurfy, I was actually wondering about the outcome of this the other day.

So sad. I agree that the punishment doesn''t go far enough... but at the same time, I''m just grateful that there were consequences at all. I was afraid it was going to get pushed under the rug.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I wish workhouses still existed. A workhouse would be the ideal place for those sub-humans.

 

[Callisto]

Date: 2/22/2010 7:38:55 PM
Author: jsm
Thanks for posting Smurfy, I was actually wondering about the outcome of this the other day.


So sad. I agree that the punishment doesn''t go far enough... but at the same time, I''m just grateful that there were consequences at all. I was afraid it was going to get pushed under the rug.

I agree. They should be charged with harassment or worse if possible. Kids get expelled from schools all the time, they just move on to other schools and continue to live their normal lives. Not a very harsh punishment in my opinion.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I''ve heard that criminal charges may still be pressed. I was bullied relentlessly as a girl in 7th grade so this story really stuck close which is why I''ve been following it so close I guess. But if I hear anything about it I''ll be sure to update.

 

[jewelz617]

This whole story made me sick.

When I was growing up, if anyone bothered me my father told me to punch them in the face and tell them to get the hell away from me. I''m not saying that''s a constructive way to solve problems but if someone is being harassed to the point of suicide, an @zz-whooping is in order. Quick, dirty and gets the point across to snot nosed little idiots. The punishment was not nearly enough.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 2/23/2010 12:04:03 PM
Author: PinkAsscher678
This whole story made me sick.


When I was growing up, if anyone bothered me my father told me to punch them in the face and tell them to get the hell away from me. I''m not saying that''s a constructive way to solve problems but if someone is being harassed to the point of suicide, an @zz-whooping is in order. Quick, dirty and gets the point across to snot nosed little idiots. The punishment was not nearly enough.

I''ll go out on a limb and say that that''s to the point people bullied me. Everyday, taking my glasses and hiding them from me, knocking my books down all the time in the hallway, walking up to me and asking for a kleenex (I had a larger chest...if you could call a c that, but big for a 7th grader), people telling me nobody would ever date me, that I was fat. Had a couple boys pretend to be interested in me and then just stood me up because they thought it was funny, people telling me I was stupid, working in groups and people telling me not to do anything because I couldn''t possibly know what was going on, laughing at me in the locker rooms, god the list just go on and on and I would go home every night and cry. I quit eating and eventually dropped to a dangerous weight (98 lbs was my lowest i think) and over that summer my mom and I gave myself a makeover, got contacts, and dated a boy from another school. I got so much confidence that summer that you should have seen me the next time I saw those kids. They were seriously sorry they had treated me the way they did because I was able to throw it right back at them. I''m not saying this is the best way but it did work for me. Some people continued to tease me but not enough for it to bother me. I have 2 yearbooks, one from 7th grade with all these insults and things in it from other people and the 8th grade yearbook that has all these messages that were basically apologies for the year before.

I didn''t type this for sympathy but rather to say that I do know how Phoebe felt and it is possibly the worst feeling in the whole world feeling like nobody likes you, everyone hates you, no one could ever love you, and everyone is out to get you. The worst. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of courage to stand up to these people and luckily I had a family that knew what was going on and helped me. From what I''ve read, Phoebe''s family didn''t know all this was happening because she didn''t say anything

 

[stepcutgirl]

This makes ME want to go punch those little jerks! If they were writing things on a public forum like FB they need to be arrested and get knocked down a notch or two. I am so angry that this goes on and is tolerated by simply moving them around!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

There will be a protest outside the school tonight asking for top officials to resign, the passing of bullying laws and the bully’s to be properly punished

 

[jewelz617]

Date: 2/23/2010 12:14:04 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 2/23/2010 12:04:03 PM

Author: PinkAsscher678

This whole story made me sick.



When I was growing up, if anyone bothered me my father told me to punch them in the face and tell them to get the hell away from me. I''m not saying that''s a constructive way to solve problems but if someone is being harassed to the point of suicide, an @zz-whooping is in order. Quick, dirty and gets the point across to snot nosed little idiots. The punishment was not nearly enough.

I''ll go out on a limb and say that that''s to the point people bullied me. Everyday, taking my glasses and hiding them from me, knocking my books down all the time in the hallway, walking up to me and asking for a kleenex (I had a larger chest...if you could call a c that, but big for a 7th grader), people telling me nobody would ever date me, that I was fat. Had a couple boys pretend to be interested in me and then just stood me up because they thought it was funny, people telling me I was stupid, working in groups and people telling me not to do anything because I couldn''t possibly know what was going on, laughing at me in the locker rooms, god the list just go on and on and I would go home every night and cry. I quit eating and eventually dropped to a dangerous weight (98 lbs was my lowest i think) and over that summer my mom and I gave myself a makeover, got contacts, and dated a boy from another school. I got so much confidence that summer that you should have seen me the next time I saw those kids. They were seriously sorry they had treated me the way they did because I was able to throw it right back at them. I''m not saying this is the best way but it did work for me. Some people continued to tease me but not enough for it to bother me. I have 2 yearbooks, one from 7th grade with all these insults and things in it from other people and the 8th grade yearbook that has all these messages that were basically apologies for the year before.


I didn''t type this for sympathy but rather to say that I do know how Phoebe felt and it is possibly the worst feeling in the whole world feeling like nobody likes you, everyone hates you, no one could ever love you, and everyone is out to get you. The worst. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of courage to stand up to these people and luckily I had a family that knew what was going on and helped me. From what I''ve read, Phoebe''s family didn''t know all this was happening because she didn''t say anything

Smurfy, I really appreciate you sharing your story. I was bullied in school and I ended up transferring. It led to years of insecurity and depression. It''s the worst feeling to think that everyone hates you. It makes you want to die. My heart aches for this girl and her family, and it terrifies me to think of my happy little baby girl ever being subjected to that kind of cruelty, God forbid.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 2/23/2010 12:28:18 PM
Author: PinkAsscher678

Date: 2/23/2010 12:14:04 PM

Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 2/23/2010 12:04:03 PM


Author: PinkAsscher678


This whole story made me sick.




When I was growing up, if anyone bothered me my father told me to punch them in the face and tell them to get the hell away from me. I''m not saying that''s a constructive way to solve problems but if someone is being harassed to the point of suicide, an @zz-whooping is in order. Quick, dirty and gets the point across to snot nosed little idiots. The punishment was not nearly enough.

I''ll go out on a limb and say that that''s to the point people bullied me. Everyday, taking my glasses and hiding them from me, knocking my books down all the time in the hallway, walking up to me and asking for a kleenex (I had a larger chest...if you could call a c that, but big for a 7th grader), people telling me nobody would ever date me, that I was fat. Had a couple boys pretend to be interested in me and then just stood me up because they thought it was funny, people telling me I was stupid, working in groups and people telling me not to do anything because I couldn''t possibly know what was going on, laughing at me in the locker rooms, god the list just go on and on and I would go home every night and cry. I quit eating and eventually dropped to a dangerous weight (98 lbs was my lowest i think) and over that summer my mom and I gave myself a makeover, got contacts, and dated a boy from another school. I got so much confidence that summer that you should have seen me the next time I saw those kids. They were seriously sorry they had treated me the way they did because I was able to throw it right back at them. I''m not saying this is the best way but it did work for me. Some people continued to tease me but not enough for it to bother me. I have 2 yearbooks, one from 7th grade with all these insults and things in it from other people and the 8th grade yearbook that has all these messages that were basically apologies for the year before.



I didn''t type this for sympathy but rather to say that I do know how Phoebe felt and it is possibly the worst feeling in the whole world feeling like nobody likes you, everyone hates you, no one could ever love you, and everyone is out to get you. The worst. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of courage to stand up to these people and luckily I had a family that knew what was going on and helped me. From what I''ve read, Phoebe''s family didn''t know all this was happening because she didn''t say anything

Smurfy, I really appreciate you sharing your story. I was bullied in school and I ended up transferring. It led to years of insecurity and depression. It''s the worst feeling to think that everyone hates you. It makes you want to die. My heart aches for this girl and her family, and it terrifies me to think of my happy little baby girl ever being subjected to that kind of cruelty, God forbid.

When I have kids if I ever find out they are being bullied, they and their parents had better look out because I will do everything in my power to have that kid punished, expelled or whatever is the proper punishment at the school and not just have a blind eye turned. There are some things kids need to experience in life- failing at something, scraping their knees, first dates, etc. and bullying is NOT one of those things imho.

 

[jewelz617]

The problem is too, that bullies are often really clever at being absolutely horrible to their victims and kind of know the loopholes to not getting busted for it.

And there is BIG difference between guy bullies and girl bullies. A guy bully will dunk someone''s head in the toilet and get suspended. A girl bully will be passive aggressive and they know all the tricks to not getting in trouble for it. It''s like psychological warfare. They know they aren''t going to get in trouble for excluding someone from a party, or picking up their trays and leaving the lunch table if the chubby girl with acne tries to sit with them. Like one of the biggest things was when I would sit on the bus going to school. I was overweight at the time, and the girls sitting at the back of the bus would giggle and make really loud comments like "Oh my God, I just saw the cutest dress to wear to homecoming. It''s a good thing I''m not too FAT to fit into it."

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 2/23/2010 12:43:05 PM
Author: PinkAsscher678
The problem is too, that bullies are often really clever at being absolutely horrible to their victims and kind of know the loopholes to not getting busted for it.


And there is BIG difference between guy bullies and girl bullies. A guy bully will dunk someone''s head in the toilet and get suspended. A girl bully will be passive aggressive and they know all the tricks to not getting in trouble for it. It''s like psychological warfare. They know they aren''t going to get in trouble for excluding someone from a party, or picking up their trays and leaving the lunch table if the chubby girl with acne tries to sit with them. Like one of the biggest things was when I would sit on the bus going to school. I was overweight at the time, and the girls sitting at the back of the bus would giggle and make really loud comments like ''Oh my God, I just saw the cutest dress to wear to homecoming. It''s a good thing I''m not too FAT to fit into it.''

Ohhh yes the girls at the back of the bus, ugh, hated them...

 

[Haven]

I can''t bear to read this story right now, but I wanted to say thank you for sharing your story, Smurfy.

Bullying is one of the most heartbreaking things I have to see as a teacher. Has anyone seen the movie Bully? It''s based on a true story. Really, truly heartbreaking, bullying.

 

[TravelingGal]

Interesting that everyone thinks in terms of their kids GETTING bullied, but not realizing that their child could be the bully himself.

I''m equally as scared that she''ll be the bully. The only thing I could tolerate less than my child being tormented is knowing that she was the cause of someone else''s torment.

I''m a big believer in if a child is being bullied, they should encouraged to fight back. The only thing that stops a bully is a target who can give as good as he gets.

However, as noted, girl bullying is more psychological warfare and harder to combat. This is what scares me about having a daughter.

 

[Haven]

TGal--Most of the bullies I''ve seen in real life are girls who are being either bullied or neglected at home. I don''t think your little one is in danger of either of those things, so that will probably reduce the chances that she''ll become a bully, herself.

 

[jewelz617]

The thing is, preventing your child from being a bully is a lot easier situation to be in control of than whether or not they will be bullied.

Granted, good parenting can only get you so far, but I''d like to think my daughter will be raised with enough support and open communication that when it comes time for her to enter school, she''ll be a confident happy person who doesn''t need to pick on others to feel good about herself.

If she doesn''t meet the "standard" for being in the popular clique, well that''s far out of my control and hers. Therein lies the anxiety.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/23/2010 12:56:21 PM
Author: Haven
TGal--Most of the bullies I've seen in real life are girls who are being either bullied or neglected at home. I don't think your little one is in danger of either of those things, so that will probably reduce the chances that she'll become a bully, herself.

Does threatening to beat the sh*t out of her if she bullies anyone count as bullying her at home?

Anyway, I was bullied for only one year of my life (4th grade). The two girls were in 5th grade and friends of a family friend who didn't like me for some bizarre reason. They whispered behind my back (but knowing I knew they were talking about me), giggled when I walked by, etc. To these girls' credit, one day they cornered me after school, after days of being super sweet and helpful to me. They said, "We had a talk, and asked each other why we are mean to you. We didn't know why, so we figured it should stop. We're sorry." I just remember being flabbergasted, and just nodding. They walked away and were never mean to me again.

I think I was more disturbed in hindsight that these girls were truly mean to me for NO reason. I had never done anything to them, and I wasn't the type of kid to draw attention to myself. They just knew someone else didn't like me and that was reason enough.

 

[Clairitek]

I really, really hope these girls have criminal charges pressed against them.

Bullying is definitely pretty sickening. I was bullied a lot from 3rd grade on, until I went to a high school across the country for two years. When we moved back I was much more confident because I was treated really well in the other school by my peers.

I have a Girl Scout troop and I am already seeing bullying and these girls are in 1st grade! My co-leader''s daughter is in the troop and she told me a sad little story. She said that her daughter called up her friend to see if she wanted to play. The mother said she was at a friend''s house. When the co-leaders daughter asked whose house she was at the mother laughed at her, told her she wasn''t telling, and hung up. I can clearly see that this woman''s daugther (the mother who hung up the phone) is going to turn into a MAJOR bully and its clear where she gets it from.

 

[princesss]

Smurfy, I could have written your post. Just about everything you talked about happened to me - guys pretending to "date" me so they could break up with me on Valentine''s Day, people messing with my progress reports, threatening me in the locker room, stealing my shower curtain in the locker room after gym class.... Life from third grade through high school was pretty awful (with a few breaks where things were good). Psychological warfare is a very apt term for the kind of bullying girls do.

I really hope these girls have charges pressed against them. Just being expelled is not enough by a long shot.

 

[packrat]

Good to see a follow up on it. I got a little wound up in the other thread about it. If that were MY child that this happened to, I do believe there would be a small woman on the warpath, much the same as she was on the warpath when she got older in school and got sick of being bullied, and much the same as her own mother went on the warpath when her kids were being bullied.

I can''t imagine my kids being bullies when they get older but if they are, then there will be some problems at home. I''ll not stand for my kids making other kids feel the way my brother and I felt in school.

Things didn''t change for us until we started fighting back, and bringing everything to the principals attention, and bringing mom into it. It''s too bad it got to that point (although, at the time, that was awful fun for my brother and myself hehe) but it did and it got handled. Sometimes I wonder if in small schools the admin are of the mind that "things like that don''t happen here"-but it happens everywhere, regardless.

 

[kas baby]

this is terrible. People are just vicious sometimes.

I think a lot of us can relate in some ways, I know I can, at least in elementary school before we mover. All of the popular kids played soccer on travel teams (old names and old money, so the extended family and their allies kind of controlled the town.) Well, these kids slowly started letting me sit with them at lunch, and then eventually I was told I was allowed to play with them at recess. I was so pumped! until the ''leader'' had two boys go try to beat me up. What those two didn''t realize though was that when you push a girl down to the ground on her back and go to punch in her face, you leave your groin wide open for soccer cleats. I think 3rd grade me handled that as best I could.

I never talked to them again because I knew they really didn''t like me.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

So far it looks like hardly anyone has been expelled. The only source not sugar coating what happened at the protest and meeting last night is this blog:
http://run4chocolate.wordpress.com/2010/02/23/gus-sayer-those-involved-have-been-disciplined/

Bleh.