february2003bride
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2005
- Messages
- 3,551
I wanted to post in my old thread but it's already locked...
(https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/living-with-the-in-laws-for-4-6-weeks-how-to-cope.139148/)
Anyway, I just wanted to post an update since so many of you were kind enough to post to my problem. DH's parents are still living with my BIL but there was a huge, horrible arguement that happened and we got a phone call on sunday saying it was our turn for them to come down. That BIL and his wife had had enough, which is only fair given that the ILs had been there since spring. To make a long story short, there were various plans on getting them here, possibly BIL and his whole family visiting later, etc. In the end, they decided to all drive down together, in one SUV with 4 adults and 3 kids plus luggage- to our place. EVERYONE (12 people total) is staying with us for 8 days.
On one hand, I don't get this. BIL's wife needs mental/emotional/physical space from the ILs. Doing a two day drive in one car (to and from) and staying with them and us doesn't accomplish that. My guess is, BIL strong armed her into saying yes. One the other hand, we only get ILs for 8 days (thank god), and we get to see our nieces and nephew, whom we adore. DH has already mentioned that maybe BIL & family could go back after one week and his parents stay for another 4-6 weeks, I'm not sure what we'll decide on that one as DH has several trips to go on and I CAN NOT be alone with them.
That being said, the arguments between DH and I about his parents reached a point that we decided to see a marriage counselor. I've been once by myself, DH wil go with me to the next one, which is right smack dab in the middle of their visit. It got to the point that I couldn't ask any questions or have any reactions to anything regarding them without it sending him into almost a rage and saying that he wanted a divorce. The final boiling point was Sunday night, DH left on a trip Monday morning and I booked an appointment with a therapist. I'm SO GLAD I went as she's great, validated my feelings and reactions to them, that this was not really a cultural issue (DH always threw out that card) but a boundary issue.
Anyway, wish me luck for this week, lol. I do have some away time planned (suggested by the counselor) and am happy DH has agreed to go as well. This is definitely not an issue to get divorced over and we love each other to get to that extreme. I hope.
(https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/living-with-the-in-laws-for-4-6-weeks-how-to-cope.139148/)
Anyway, I just wanted to post an update since so many of you were kind enough to post to my problem. DH's parents are still living with my BIL but there was a huge, horrible arguement that happened and we got a phone call on sunday saying it was our turn for them to come down. That BIL and his wife had had enough, which is only fair given that the ILs had been there since spring. To make a long story short, there were various plans on getting them here, possibly BIL and his whole family visiting later, etc. In the end, they decided to all drive down together, in one SUV with 4 adults and 3 kids plus luggage- to our place. EVERYONE (12 people total) is staying with us for 8 days.
On one hand, I don't get this. BIL's wife needs mental/emotional/physical space from the ILs. Doing a two day drive in one car (to and from) and staying with them and us doesn't accomplish that. My guess is, BIL strong armed her into saying yes. One the other hand, we only get ILs for 8 days (thank god), and we get to see our nieces and nephew, whom we adore. DH has already mentioned that maybe BIL & family could go back after one week and his parents stay for another 4-6 weeks, I'm not sure what we'll decide on that one as DH has several trips to go on and I CAN NOT be alone with them.
That being said, the arguments between DH and I about his parents reached a point that we decided to see a marriage counselor. I've been once by myself, DH wil go with me to the next one, which is right smack dab in the middle of their visit. It got to the point that I couldn't ask any questions or have any reactions to anything regarding them without it sending him into almost a rage and saying that he wanted a divorce. The final boiling point was Sunday night, DH left on a trip Monday morning and I booked an appointment with a therapist. I'm SO GLAD I went as she's great, validated my feelings and reactions to them, that this was not really a cultural issue (DH always threw out that card) but a boundary issue.
Anyway, wish me luck for this week, lol. I do have some away time planned (suggested by the counselor) and am happy DH has agreed to go as well. This is definitely not an issue to get divorced over and we love each other to get to that extreme. I hope.