UPDATE: Don''t know how to handle this terrible news...

[DonaBella]

Earlier today, my DIL called me to let me know that she and my son were working closely with their marriage counselor and are re-committing to their marriage. She went on to say she knows it will be challenging and difficult, but that they both want to pursue to make their marriage work. My DIL said she knew that we were worried and missed us and she hoped to see us sometime soon.

I know this is very, very early in this whole situation, but I am hopeful. I also know that things still could go either way, but I feel that if all of us can give them space to work with their counselor and leave them alone, keeping them in our thoughts, hearts and prayers, they might have a real chance. Who knows?

I am so drained I cannot tell you. I wanted to at least mention this update to those of you who have read my post and contributed comments. Thank you again for your support.

 

[SoonIHope]

Deanne, I can''t remember if I posted to your original thread or not, but I''ve been following your story and am so sorry to hear what your family has been going through! I agree, though, that this is very encouraging news. The main thing at this point is whether they want to put the effort in to try to make it work or just give up, so hearing this makes me think they are really dedicated to trying. I''m keeping my fingers crossed for all of you!!

 

[KimberlyH]

Sending happy thoughts and encouragement their way and support yours. You''ve handled this well, Mom, by letting them work through their relationship issues without inserting yourself. Take good care!

 

[DonaBella]

Date: 9/6/2006 9:54:06 AM
Author: albicocca
Deanne, I can''t remember if I posted to your original thread or not, but I''ve been following your story and am so sorry to hear what your family has been going through! I agree, though, that this is very encouraging news. The main thing at this point is whether they want to put the effort in to try to make it work or just give up, so hearing this makes me think they are really dedicated to trying. I''m keeping my fingers crossed for all of you!!

Thanks Albi and nice to hear from you!

Time, alot of support from afar, tons of prayer and positive thought, and a whole of effort by them sprinkled daily with patience and just maybe this whole event will strengthen them as they are in the foundating time of their young marriage.

That is my hope, my dream for them. When you love them both, you want what''s best for them, irregardless of how it affects others overall.

Thanks again...

 

[DonaBella]

Date: 9/6/2006 10:26:30 AM
Author: KimberlyH
Sending happy thoughts and encouragement their way and support yours. You''ve handled this well, Mom, by letting them work through their relationship issues without inserting yourself. Take good care!

Thanks Kimberly...

In all frankness, outside of my two adult kids who live with me in my home, I was the last adult, to find out and I stayed in shock for quite a while. I vented to you all before I said anything to my adult kids who reside with me. I didn''t even call or text my married son to acknowledge that I knew. I was truly in shock and was hurting for them.

It may have been a blessing that I was too busy getting my younger kids ready for school and was busy with the Labor Day activities to be concerned with anything else. My life is pretty full on a daily basis which leaves little time to dawdle in anyone''s personal affairs these days. I try to always carve out time to call my best GFS or go out with my hubby, but even shopping for groceries, getting my nails done or being on PS I have to squeeze in anymore...

Therapy has really helped me to re-prioritize me, my day to day needs, and my day to day obligations. I do what I have to whether it pleases members of my church--whatever, my family--I am somewhat of a task master, I am told, and even my husband to some extent. Hubby leaves to slay the dragons to keep us clothed and fed. I am left to maintain the home, the kids, do flower deliveries, take kids to dance, to college(my 17 year old doesn''t drive yet--argh!) and collapse only after the last kid has gone to bed at night.

If any of you were a bug on my wall observing, it would drive you nuts I am sure. I have an established rhythm to my day, my week, my life and it is exhausting but necessary. I crave my opportunity to go back to the gym as soon as I can here. I live on 5-6 hrs of sleep a night if I am lucky and alot of water, sometimes a glass of wine to carry me over. The other night I OD''ed on the alcohol because I was stressed. I usually don''t have to time to do that. Once in a while its ok and I allow myself to do it.

Will they be ok? Whatever happens is between them and really doesn''t involve her mom, her anybody or my anybody...except my son who married her...and their counselor. If they are old enough to get married then they need to be adult enough to deal with all of it. Marriage is not easy but it is SO worth it. I believe it. I know it. Now, they need to figure that out on their own and I pray that others will see it the way I do.

Thanks Kimberly for commenting. Sorry to ramble...got on a roll...