Uneven Wedding Party... what to do?

[TinLemon]

So my new bride to be and I are already facing our first wedding planning woes.. and we''ve only been engaged for less than a week. What it comes down to is that she has 5 very special people in her life that she would like to have as her maid of honor/brides maids. I personally just want ONE person behind me because I feel that any more than that would be asking people to even things out. We''ve decided that we are ok with the idea of her having 5 people, and me having 1.... and only the maid of honor and best man will stand up there with us.

I''m interested in hearing if anyone else has had a similar lopsided problem. I know it''s common to have maybe 4 girls and 3 guys... just a one person difference... but a 4 person difference? If you''ve had this kind of issue... how did you handle it?

Thanks!

 

[Logan Sapphire]

We started out with 4 bridesmaids and 2 groomsmen (one bridesmaid had to drop out due to being pregnant), but it didn't bother us. So it looks uneven- we didn't mind, and certainly didn't want to ask more people just to make it look "right." I don't think it matters as long as you have who you want up there with you! Good luck!

 

[verticalhorizon]

I agree. I'm all for doing what makes you happy.

I want the bridal party to do that funny shuffle dance when you dance down the line in pairs. What's that called?

 

[Mara]

we had 5 gals and 3 guys...it worked okay for aisle walking (2 gals walked together) but the pictures look a TAD off. that's the only thing...think about how they pix will look with 5 and 1!

if you don't care..then by all means! i decided i didn't really care at the time but after the fact when i saw the pix, i was like...damn i should have stuffed one of the other guys into a tux and made him be a groomsmen for fun, hehee.




or if you are untraditional, i have seen some really awesome group pictures that are not the typical lineups. i saw one online that was everyone kind of scattered around a setting, some sitting, some leaning against structures, some standing. kind of like the sopranos ad in the magazines last year, everyone kind of in profile or looking out at various angles and spaces. that looked AWESOME and would definitely work for a lopsided wedding party. in this pic, the bride and groom were doing the traditional standing in the middle smiling and the rest of their people were scattered around. it was great, looked like it was taken outside a church and people were sitting on steps, leaning against columns etc. food for thought.

 

[verticalhorizon]

I recently saw one in a magazine where the party was running toward the camera. Maybe a game of beat up the photographer? Who knows. Looked great... and fun!

 

[TinLemon]

Great.... so glad to hear that I'm not the only one out there in this situation. I mean, with so many people getting married, I KNEW I wasn't the only one, but it's good to see that there are ways around this problem.
The pictures were my only concerns as well, but the fiance already mentioned that she doesn't want ANY formal wedding shots, all just real relaxed shots... sort of artsy I guess. Some of your ideas for a scattered shot, or even that running picture, woudl be kind of cool

 

[verticalhorizon]

If I remember the magazine, I'll scan it for you and post!

 

[TinLemon]

Oh you don't have to go through all that trouble.... I'm sure I'll come across something similar if I look in one of the many magazines that are starting to accumulate around our house.

 

[chialea]

I had some friends who managed to come up with an even number, but mostly guys (9 guys, 3 gals). Since they had been together so long, many of them were close friends of both, so they just split them up evenly. It seemed to confuse the photographer, though, so some of the pictures are posed funny, so you might think of giving some explicit directions...

 

[MelissaSue]

i had always thought the unevenness would be weird.. and was convinced that we should have the same amount of guys and girls.. even though it was gonna make my b/f choose between several of his closest friends.. but I went to a wedding this weekend where there were way more guys than girls.. and it didn't make a difference at all.. So I'm gonna have who I want and he can have who he wants.. even if he ends up having 4 more guys than I have girls.. even though I think it will really only be 1 or 2 more.

 

[TinLemon]

The outcome of this matter is that my fiance convinced me to invite 2 more friends, making for 3 total on my side. She has 5. So our MOH/BM will walk down together, and then each guy will escort 2 girls.

More importantly, I am happy with this outcome, and so is my fiance.

Whew!

 

[Mara]

TL..that is what we did. My guy had 3 and I had 5. We did the same thing basically. For pictures, note what I said earlier, be sure to think about this beforehand if it is important, because the day of it pops into your head and you go..WOOPS!

 

[fire&ice]

My advice - Do the formal shots also. 20 years from now when you have family, you will be glad you did.

Our photographer was big on the "candids". He really captured much of the "moment & affair". But, he humored me with the "formals" which were required by both sets of parents. I'm glad it was.

Do make sure he gets some of the traditional highlights, i.e. "dance w/ her father", etc. As Mara said, make a list. Think about what you want to remember in the long term. The funniest shots we have were traditional ones. The guys jumping away from the garter & the gals jumping *for* the bouquet. Dopey but funny, as most of the guys we invited showed up to meet my friends.

 

[Hest88]

Re: formal pictures. I didn't want any either, but capitulated because I knew my parents did. However, now I wish I had a few more. There are no pictures of just my DH and me that I like, and I know that's partly because I was so uncomfortable with the idea of formal shots.

 

[Mara]

Photos are just the oddest thing in the end. We have about 400 pictures of our big day from the photographer, and I only absolutely LOVE one formal shot of the two of us. The rest fell by the wayside. There is ONE that is absolutely beautiful, amazing, captures everything I wanted it to. I posted it in my 'married with stories to tell' post as well and we have it framed in our house and I have it at work too.

It's funny how out of so many pictures, there are always a few that speak to you and the rest just do not tickle your fancy. I'm glad we ended up with such a large amount of finished pictures because it gives such a great variety to choose from, so it's not as though I feel forced to use one picture when there is another in a better pose. Our photographre also gave us about 2-3 options of EACH pose. So if Mom has her eyes shifty looking in one but is smiling in another, we can use that instead!

Bottom line is make sure to get as many as possible, have photographer AND friends taking some pictures. Our friends got a few good shots each, the diversity turned out great.

I also agree with taking formals but mixing it up as well. We have alot of candid shots and some more informal ones, but we also got the traditional formals as well, more for the families than anything else (parents like that traditional stuff), which I ended up liking hugely after all because he positioned us in front of our big managers house so its this huge house in the background which is a great setup. Not as though they are just lined up near a tree or something.

We also forgot to make a list and thank god it was okay in the end (because our photographer was awesome), but I realized after the fact that the day had been so busy, there were really hardly any shots of just ME in a formal pose. Not that really everyone wants to frame just a picture of the bride, but I think my parents would have liked one. So oh well! If we had the list, it would not have gone unnoticed. Plus we were running late for the ceremony of course.

 

[fire&ice]

Does no one sit for a formal bridal portrait anymore? Not the day of the wedding - you go to the studio. Or, is that a Southern thing?

 

[JennyN]

It must be a southern thing. I had the bridal portrait (at the studio), and most all my friends that have gotten married over the past few years have had them done too.

 

[fire&ice]

----------------
On 8/11/2004 5:29:28 PM JennyN wrote:

It must be a southern thing. I had the bridal portrait (at the studio), and most all my friends that have gotten married over the past few years have had them done too.----------------

Ahh...those wacky Southern traditions! Do they still display them as you walk into the reception?

 

[aljdewey]

I have to say that unlike most folks, I really wanted the formal shots too. In fact, those were among the most important to me. Everyone I've ever talked to who's been married a while all say the same thing....those formal pictures become infinitely more cherished and appreciated as the years advance.




I just picked up my pictures last night, and WOW......I'm so, sooooo glad we did the formals. They look amazing, and they give a nice counterpoint to the formals. I honestly believe the key to liking your formal shots is finding a photographer who can capture the emotion on your faces and draw that out of you during those formal shots. Our photographer, Linda Jennings, had that knack.....the kind that you either have or don't.




She was telling me that she STILL gets chills right before the bride walks down the aisle. Several of my guests commented seeing her moved to tears herself on a few occasions during my wedding. That's the kind of person to hire for the formal shots. Her impromptu shots were AMAZING!




I just pored over the pictures again tonight.....and the emotion she captured brought me to tears again tonight. Her pictures evoke in me the feelings I had on that day, and that's the hallmark of a very talented photographer.




Now I have to just get a second job or something to fund all the pictures I want to purchase! She took so many great ones, it's hard to narrow down the choices!