snow_happy
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Messages
- 546
OK so this is a SUPER personal question that I wasn''t going to post intially but it has been on my mind and everyone on this board offers such great advice from lots of different perspectives. Please be gentle as I am very sensitive and nervous about this subject. Thanks.
Here goes:
My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years and we are planning on getting engaged soon. I know he wants to ask my dad for his blessing but I don''t know what kind of reaction my poor bf will get. My dad is extremely traditional and although he said he wouldn''t care about the race issue he definitely had some things to say when the inter-racial dating became serious. I guess you could describe my dad''s attitude toward my bf as "cordial" and sometimes he is even nice (he''s a moody guy). My mom loves my boyfriend (and loves the fact he''s almost done with school more). I think my dad will always look at me as "daddy''s little girl" and that maybe no one is good enough for me? Who knows. I just told my bf not to be disheartened if he doesn''t get a "whoppeee! welcome to the family" type of answer from my dad but more of a "if that''s what you two have decided that''s fine."
I am really excited about getting engaged to my boyfriend but the one thing that hurts my heart is that my dad will be upset. Don''t get me wrong I''m not going to NOT get engaged because he is upset but it''s just a source of anxiety for me. I just want him to be happy for me. I''m even nervous he won''t pay for the wedding.
Just to give a bit more perspective, I am 23 and in grad. school but have found funding for pay for everything (tuition, living expenses, etc.) so I am financially independent. My bf, who is 24, is finishing school (he has one more year left) and wants to wait to get married until after he finishes school so he can "provide" for me... or at least contribute to equally to the providing.
Maybe I''m just being paranoid.....I mean I don''t want things to be bad with my father or awkward. I love hanging out with my bf''s family and I wish we could have that same comfort hanging out with my family. *sigh*
So I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else had a similar story? Maybe where the parents didn''t totally love the bf not necessarily an inter-racial thing. I suppose I just want to know everything''s going to be ok in the end.
Here goes:
My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years and we are planning on getting engaged soon. I know he wants to ask my dad for his blessing but I don''t know what kind of reaction my poor bf will get. My dad is extremely traditional and although he said he wouldn''t care about the race issue he definitely had some things to say when the inter-racial dating became serious. I guess you could describe my dad''s attitude toward my bf as "cordial" and sometimes he is even nice (he''s a moody guy). My mom loves my boyfriend (and loves the fact he''s almost done with school more). I think my dad will always look at me as "daddy''s little girl" and that maybe no one is good enough for me? Who knows. I just told my bf not to be disheartened if he doesn''t get a "whoppeee! welcome to the family" type of answer from my dad but more of a "if that''s what you two have decided that''s fine."
I am really excited about getting engaged to my boyfriend but the one thing that hurts my heart is that my dad will be upset. Don''t get me wrong I''m not going to NOT get engaged because he is upset but it''s just a source of anxiety for me. I just want him to be happy for me. I''m even nervous he won''t pay for the wedding.
Just to give a bit more perspective, I am 23 and in grad. school but have found funding for pay for everything (tuition, living expenses, etc.) so I am financially independent. My bf, who is 24, is finishing school (he has one more year left) and wants to wait to get married until after he finishes school so he can "provide" for me... or at least contribute to equally to the providing.
Maybe I''m just being paranoid.....I mean I don''t want things to be bad with my father or awkward. I love hanging out with my bf''s family and I wish we could have that same comfort hanging out with my family. *sigh*
So I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else had a similar story? Maybe where the parents didn''t totally love the bf not necessarily an inter-racial thing. I suppose I just want to know everything''s going to be ok in the end.